Subject: [FFML] Re: [Orig] Okaeri, Kaori-chan! (really full!)
From: Sebastion Fitsroy
Date: 12/19/1999, 2:12 PM
To: "'Matt Johnston'" <matt2518@gladstone.uoregon.edu>, FFML <ffml@fanfic.com>
CC: "'bastion@ix.netcom.com'" <bastion@ix.netcom.com>

[Ack! <thump>  I never in my wildest dreams thought this
 would be finished....  Folks, I present to you the first sign of the
 Apocalypse.]

C&C is greatly appreaciated.  This work consists of both new and
previously released material.  Those who have read chapters before
should read this through.  Those who have never read this before
are encouraged to do so; this is a special piece for me, and it's
finally finished.  And I honestly mean it this time.  ^_^

[Okay, Matt, but next time, you shall feel my wrath!!!!]

Words in <these brackets> denote words spoken in English.

------------------------------------------------------------------

                         *    *    *    *

               O K A E R I,   K A O R I - C H A N !
                      (Welcome Home, Kaori!)

                              *    *

         "Okaeri, Kaori-chan!" (c) 1998 Matthew Johnston.
                       All Rights Reserved.

  This is a work of fiction.  Any resemblance of the characters
     to any persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.  

                         *    *    *    *

------------------------------------------------------------------

<snip story>

 I'm just going to give some overview of this story, since most of
 this I have given detailed reviewing (and I'll give Matt my more
 detailed review of the newer parts later).  

 Number 1, this story, now that I've read from beginning to end nonstop, 
 is very compelling.  The way things are laid out and the story is told, argh, 
 I must disagree with you, Matt; you still are the better.  The most compelling 
 thing about this story is the way Kaori's torment is communicated.  Beautifully
 pulled off.  Plus that misleading ending (you clever bastard, <grin>).

 Number 2, the images, the way things are said, the mood communicates
 itself with the flow and not the syntax of the narration.  That in itself is
 something to be marvelled at.  

 And finally number 3, well, this entire story is original and not lenient on known
 information, and in my opinion, the most telling of an author's abilities.  Also, the
 author's knowledge depended heavily upon Japanese culture, and I felt he did 
 pretty well to keep to the minor details that added to this story's, (and all his 
 others, infact) atmosphere.

 Yet, there were some problems, though minor ones.  One the story did seem
 to rush in places where it had been much slower early on.  Also, Itchy's <grin>
 large bank account supplied by Plot Device Bank of Japan, I know that it's written
 away and it's rather humorous, but, I don't know, you probably could have been
 dealt with it more than an after thought.  But that's all I could really complain
 about.  Also, what about Ami?  I really wanted to see more of the role that she
 played in all this.

 That's it, but I would like to say one or two things in passing:

 That last dream sequence with Sat, <shakes head>  that was fuckin'
 hilarious.  I'd expect that from Lazar, but you?  <grin>

 Damn it, Satoru!  That's my pot pie!

 Just what did Massy say to Kay in his bedroom?

 Once pretty boy!  <wink>

 Are Yummy and Itchy still going to be included in tangent with Sunshine?
 <evil grin>

 Once again, Matt Johnston relies on cute openings to grab our attention.  <grin>

 *cough* *cough* Cafe Pierrot?

 And I'm still trying to figure out how Rod Stewart's son ended up in Oregon of
 all places.  <grin>

 Anyway, I've said my piece.  And Matt, I salute you.  As for you other FFMLers,
 kick yourselves for missing this and go into the FTP archive to find it.
 If it's still down, ummm, then kick White Wolf or Alan or someone, <grin>.

 Adios.

 Bastion
 



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