Thank you, Bastion... and to everybody who reads this.  Please, drop me
a line if you do, even if it's just to say you did.  I'd like to know
that this story in particular is being read.  Like I said before, it's
special to me, as m first finished original fic and as a piece that I
feel may go a bit beyond what many deal with... but I'm blowing my own
horn.  ^_^;;


--Matt

Hmm, okay.

To be honest, I seldom look at [Orig] fics.  I'm trying to keep up with the
bulk of what goes out on the FFML, and that's usually enough of a job in
itself.  But I started reading this one idly ...

I have to admit it -- the story gripped me.  It was well-written and
very involving.  You suckered me out several times -- in particular,
when Kaori gets back, acting very strange, and especially after Satoru
plays the "Floater" song, I suspected that Kaori was in fact dead, and
that it was her ghost that had returned.  (Which would have fitted the
title in a very different way.)

But be that as it may.

No, I enjoyed OKC -- except for the ending.  The fact is, I found the
ending to be extremely bland, and something of a major let-down.  After
all that has gone before, after all the emotional build-up that you've
gone through, what happens?  They persuade Kaori to talk about it, and
she does, and cries, and then she and Satoru live happily ever after.
I'm sorry, but something is missing -- namely, a climax.

I have no fault to find with what precedes it.  But I think the ending
(not the epilogue, but what precesed it) needs some serious work.

Sorry -- but, well, you did ask.

Angus

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Angus MacSpon                                                Allen Gainsford
http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/          http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/