Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma] [Fanfic] Relentless - Chapter 11 Preview
From: Gary Kleppe
Date: 12/22/1999, 10:58 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com, grayson@rigroup.net

Grayson Towler <grayson@rigroup.net> wrote:

"But anyway, it had to be pretty terrible.  Big sister was up all 
day and all through the night, forcing herself to read every word.  
When I came to check on her in the morning, I found her on the 
floor, like that," she said, indicating the lawn where Natsume had 
been so recently writhing.  "Ever since then, she's been vulnerable 
to bad poetry."

Genma coughed violently and mopped the sweat from his brow.  Tendou 
Soun looked rather thoughtful.  "Well," he said.  "Every great 
martial artist has a secret weakness, I suppose."

In my experience, few if any kids the age that Nats must've been would
know good poetry from bad poetry. In fact, for most of them the worse it
is, the better they'll like it. :) Genma's reaction to this makes it
pretty obvious to me where this subplot is going, though maybe there'll
be some twist ahead.

Nabiki smirked.  "So all it takes is a little bad verse, and you're 
history," she observed.  "Hmm... 
	Pointy birds, pointy, pointy,
	Anoint my head, anointy-nointy..."

Uh oh... Nabzy just cast a "Summon Turd" spell on herself....

The teenager showed all the expression of a stone slab.  If she 
hadn't been visibly breathing, Ukyou could've sworn she was no more 

Suggest 'Ukyou would've sworn'

<Hospitable place,> Ukyou thought sourly.  It was likely that the 
kid didn't speak Japanese, but it probably made no difference.  The 
reactions she'd endured in the past two days from the Amazon 
villagers had been varied, but on the whole the attitudes of the 
women conveyed a single message, loud and clear:  she was not wanted 
here.  The men, it seemed, weren't allowed anywhere near her; she 
hadn't seen an Amazon male come within twenty meters.  It figured 
that a tribe with such extreme laws about outsiders would cultivate 
a rather phobic nature towards anybody not native to this little 
valley.  Perhaps they were kinder to other Chinese.

<I don't care,> she thought.  <Ban Dai Du has been nice enough, and 
if she takes care of Ryouga, that's all that matters.>

Yes, and Ban Daidu is very persistent. When she starts working on
something, she really sticks to it. (You get points for using syllables
that are actually found in Mandarin, BTW.)

The news was good, but the healer's voice was laced with flat 
anger.  Ukyou didn't understand.  "I... that's great," she said.  
"Then you think we can..."

"In fact," the elder woman interrupted sharply, "I've only seen a 

I didn't know she was an elder until this point.

Ukyou's fear was strong now, but her own anger could not be kept 
in check.  "Look, damn it," she shot back, "all I wanted was some 
help for Ryouga.  I didn't think you'd care if he was a boy or a 
girl.  You're a doctor, right?"

"Stupid girl," the healer hissed.  "Men have their own healers in 
our village.  You have no idea what you've done."

Ban Daidu, of course, strictly adheres to Amazon law....

Ban Dai Du took a measured step back and composed her expression.  
"No, we aren't going to do any of that," she informed Ukyou 
clinically.  "The men shall see to your friend's recovery, but 
I suspect he shall be conscious by tomorrow, perhaps even tonight.  
When he wakes, I want you both gone.  I don't want to see your 
lying face in this village ever again."

Ahhh, Ban Daidu's just afraid of getting ripped off. (Thank Megane 6.7
for that one. :)

It became clear as the day wore on that it was not going to be so 
easy to get away from the Amazon village unscathed.  Where she has 

Where she had

The manga versions of these characters were Pink and Link, and Ranma 
purists might wonder why I didn't use them (and their biochemical 
arsenal).  I plead ignorance - I confess that I haven't actually 
seen those issues first hand, and as nice as the translations on the 
web are, I didn't feel comfortable enough with the characters to 
write them.  Truth be told, I had a hell of a time settling on 
someone to make trouble with Ukyou in this chapter (do I use Pink 
and Link, their anime counterparts, or do I make someone up with a 
silly name... decisions, decisions!), which is one of the reasons 
this chapter has taken a bit of time.

P&L would probably be unliklely to attack Ukyo without some more
motivation than just xenophobia/bullying the foriegners. They only
attacked Ranma because they thought he was Shampoo's husband. As it was,
this fight itself wasn't all that interesting to me, but the development
of Ukyo's character was.

Looking forward to the rest of the chapter. Don't lose that paper copy.
:)


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html


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