Well... I have to say I'm uncertain about this one, mostly because the
tone of it differs significantly from the original. For instance,
Nabiki seems to care a lot less about Ranma than she did in the
beginning. She also seems to have forgotten most of her concern about
Akane.
Likewise, Ranma bounces back pretty quickly. I, for one, am
disappointed by this. I sort of wanted to see him having to deal with
having his confidence shattered. Yes, I'm sadistic that way. This is
really my main gripe... Ranma has just been dealt a humiliating and
agonizing defeat shortly after he recieves his curse and finds out he's
being hunted by Shampoo. Worse, it's A: from a girl, and B: a girl who,
as far as anyone knows, is only a casual martial artist at best. That's
10 years of training down the toilet. I hoped it would have had a more
lasting effect on him than we see here. It just seems like you're
backpedaling a bit so the characters don't diverge too much from canon.
To me, this is unfortunate. Part of the fun of divercences is seeing
how things differ.
On the other hand, I think you're handling the fact that the time
displaced Akane Just Doesn't Get It quite well. She's totally
unaccustomed to dealing with "softer" emotions. It is telling that she
has yet to show Ranma any signs of remorse over her use of her special
technique on him. It is also telling that she's being aggressive in her
pursuit rather than showing him a softer side that may not exist
anymore. I wonder if she'll ever realize that she's scaring him away
rather than becoming more attractive to him?
Well, all I can say is, I was sort of hoping this story would be more
angsty than it's being written, but then again, you're entitled to write
it any way you want. Still, I'll keep reading, and see where you go
with it.