Vincent Seifert <seifertv@ccshp1.ccs.csus.edu> wrote:
Heh. You know, I think I agree with Gary: telling the first
part of this in first-person, from Michi's POV, might have worked
better. You could show her mentally cursing herself for the above
speech.
Doh! I didn't realize that first-person was what he meant! "POV", to me,
means shifting the "voice" of third-person. Vince no baka...
Actually, you were right the first time. I wasn't suggesting a first
person narrative, though that would certainly be one way to do it.
When I have time, I'll go back to the story and try to point out some
specifics.
Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html