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Sorry about the formatting errors. Those should be taken care of =
now.--Kei
(Sasami, dressed in a professor=92s robes and hat, comes onto the =
stage carrying a
small baton and remote control. She sets these on the podium and smiles =
at her audience.)
SASAMI: Good afternoon, minna-san! (bows) Welcome back to Cuteness
College, where we teach you how to deal with life in an adorable and =
nondestructive
manner. Today, we answer mail. (Picks up letter and begins to read =
aloud.) "Dear
Cuteness College, my family and I keep getting bugged by those stupid =
paparazzi. How
do we deal with them? Signed, Little Freedom in London." (Smiles =
reassuringly at the
camera, giving the impression that she=92s looking directly at "Little =
Freedom in London.")
Well, Little Freedom, I think we have just the solution for you. (Holds =
up remote control
and points at screen behind her.) Here is what you need: one giant =
cabbit. (Picture of a
Corolla-sized cabbit appears on screen.) We=92ve set up a demonstration =
video with myself,
Dai-ohki the giant cabbit, and Kyosuke Kasuga (Picture changes to =
Kyosuke from KOR.),
a talented young photographer who graciously consented to act as the =
paparazzi. Let=92s
watch.=20
(Lights dim; still picture changes to video at night, around the Masaki =
house.=20
Kyosuke is lurking around, dressed in dark clothing, with a camera and =
night-vision
lense--okay, so he=92s an off-world tabloidist ^^. He is creeping =
nearer to the Masaki
house.)
KYOSUKE: My boss says this place is supposed =91t have some serious =
weirdness
goin=92 on. (cackles to self) I snag some shots here, I can finally get =
off this damned
planet.... (his eyes dart over to an uncurtained and lit window) =
Perfect. (starts to focus his
camera when a mi-ya in bass tones is heard behind him. Naturally, =
Kyosuke jerks and
turns around. Sitting behind him on its haunches is a Corolla-sized =
brown cabbit.)
CABBIT (in the cabbit equivalent of warning tones): Mi-ya.
(Close up on the cabbit leaning in closer to Kyosuke. Gradually, the =
cabbit=92s face
takes up the entire screen, and the camera continues to focus on on its =
ever-opening
mouth. Background music during this time is the music from Jaws ^^.)
KYOSUKE (off-screen): Aaaaaaagh!
(Cut back to the porch of the Masaki house. Sasami emerges, dressed in =
her
typical clothes and a carrot apron. She looks sternly at the giant =
cabbit, who comes
waddling up with Kyosuke=92s legs sticking out of its mouth. The fact =
that these legs are
struggling and his his muffled voice can still be heard indicate that he =
is still alive.)
SASAMI (in her patented Stern-Sasami=AE voice): Dai-ohki, spit that =
paparazzi out
right now! You don=92t know where he=92s been!
(Dai-ohki looks at Sasami for a moment, then bobs its head in =
acknowledgement
and spits Kyosuke out. Once Kyosuke is free, his cringes in fear while =
staring at Dai-ohki
for a long moment before running off screaming.)
(Video ends.)
(Scene shifts back to Sasami o stage.)
SASAMI: If you need one, contact Cuteness College at 1-800-TOO-CUTE, or
visit our website at http://www.cuteness_college.edu.jri. =20
(End credits begin rolling.)
SASAMI (waving cheerily): Next week, we respond to Totally Desperate in
Tomobiki and his "how do I get rid of the insane alien girl who won=92t =
leave me house and
is convinced that I=92m her husband" problem! See you then!
(Fade to black.)
Sasami is the property of AIC, Pioneer, and TV Tokyo.
Kyosuke belongs to Izumi Matsumoto and Animeigo.
Cabbit belong w/ Sasami, but the giant cabbit concept is MINE ^^! =
Contact me if
you want to use it.
Thanks for reading!
Keiichi Masaki, High Priest of the Temple
of the Teal-tressed Goddess
http://www.yume-no-kuni.com/kiyone-sama/
(after Xmas)
"A person's own truth is so simple that most=20
ignore it to concentrate on deeper truths."
--Ryouji Kaji
"I may not be as smart as Baloo, or your mom, or even=20
that judge. In fact I'm not. But I -do- know you've got=20
to have imagination."
"Why?"
"Because you can't see it here--" (indicates hands) "--if
you don't see it -here- --" (indicates head) "--first."
--Wildcat and Molly, Talespin
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