This is just the beginning. This time, I know how the Listar formatting
works. Duc and Cody are just friends of mine. And, boy, are they going to be
in pan in my story (just kinda happened that way). So, enjoy, and please
respond or something.
-Zop
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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Ranmaw.txt
All the characters belong to
someone other than me. But,
what's the chances you'd care?
Rumiko Takahashi is just one
who could be thanked.
PS: Some are real peoples.
-------------------------
Story: Where did you go to, Today?
Chapter: 1 - Lost with a pervert
World: Ranma
Revision: 2
By: Geoff "Zop" McCord
-Based on a true story
-When flying monkeys come out of my...
-Email gmccord@mailcity.com
"Heheheh." Happosai snickered as he peeked into the women's changing area.
Eight small rooms were made up of modular walls, to give the women privacy.
He loved the clothing festival because it was always an opportunity to do a
panty raid. However, someone noticed that each time there was a festival,
there was a raid and, therefore, increased the security. Of course, even the
new guards were no match for his expert martial art skills.
A few minutes, and screams later, not only women, but guards were chasing
him, too. They waved brooms, clubs, and other could-be painful objects in
the air while they shouted. Suddenly, a building a few feet in front of him
ripped a hole in itself and threw out two young guys. Unfortunately, one of
them was headed straight for him. Happosai did not have enough time to
react.
"Oomph!"
One had flown into him, while the other flew somewhere behind him. The
crowd hadn't noticed this oddity; their concentration was still on the old
man.
After they stopped tumbling, Happosai managed to shove the boy off of him.
"What do you think you're-" He was cut off by the crowd's shouting.
"Hey! There he is!"
"Get him!"
"And he's with another pervert!"
"Get 'em both!"
The boy's eyes grew large as he noticed the crowd's weapons.
"Well, no time to chat! Let's go!" Happosai ran away, while the boy tried
to follow him down the road.
In a couple of tiring minutes, Happosai had lost the crowd by hiding inside
an alley. Happosai watched from the shadows as the mob passed them.
The boy slumped on a side of a building. "I've had enough running for
today..."
"That was very sneaky of you to tackle me like that... but you weren't
after me, were you?"
The boy shook his head. "No. Umm... Why were they after you?"
Happosai's eyes watered.
"They... those bullies always chase me and make fun of me all the time.
Running is all I can do. They treat me so badly." He began to cry.
"Wow. That is, like, the most bullsh!t story I've ever heard."
"Humph, you're not so innocent are you... what's your name?"
"Cody. And you are...?"
"Call me sir."
"How about I call you old man?"
Suddenly, Happosai was on Cody's chest, looking angrily into his eyes. "You
will call me sir or else!"
"Yeah! Uh... sir." Cody rolled his eyes. "So, where am I?"
"Come, this is no place to chat. Let's go eat."
After they walked down a few roads, Happosai motioned to a
restaurant. "But, the sign says closed," Cody pointed out.
"We'll just go in the back way." To Cody's amazement, Happosai jumped onto
the roof of the restaurant and disappeared. Just as Cody began to wonder if
he'd been left stranded alone, the front door slid open.
"Your worthless soul is all I ask as admission." Cody had to smile at that.
After they went inside, Cody sat on a stool at the counter, while Happosai
went behind it, where the cooking utensils and stove were located. He looked
around, trying to figure out what everything was. Sadly, Happosai wouldn't
know a cooking utensil if he stole one. He turned a knob and fire spurted
from the stove.
"Hey!" He glanced at Cody. "Now don't think I'm going to make you anything
for free. I know a good lackey when I see one."
Cody opened his mouth, then closed it. This old man was the best chance he
has to survive, whereever he was. He stared as Happosai put a pot on the
giant flame.
"So, where am I?"
"Nerima, didn't you hear me earlier?"
"No. Where's that?"
Happosai looked up from his "cooking".
"In Japan, where else? Lemme guess, you were kidnapped."
"Uh, no... Well not really... Aren't you going to put anything in the pot?"
As if on cue, the soup started to boil over violently, causing steam to
surround the pot.
"What? As you can see..." Happosai didn't bother to finish the sentence. He
scooped the soup into two bowls and jumped over the counter. Interestingly,
none of the soup had spilled. "Eat up, we have much work to do."
Cody grabbed a spoon and started for the food, then he stopped and looked
to Happosai. "Heyyy... What is this?"
"Oh, it's my... super strength... um, elixir soup. It can make anyone at
least three times as strong within ten minutes! It's been in my family for
years."
Cody shrugged and took a spoonful. His eyes widened.
"Wow! What is this stuff?!?"
"Just eat it. You can... will thank me later."
With that, Cody smiled and hastily finished the soup. Happosai took note to
thank Ukyo later for letting him "borrow" her soup.
Duc was definitely confused. The last thing he remembered was trying to get
Cody to stop fooling around with the console, and then traveling through
some weird tunnel. And now he was in, yes in, a fruit stand with a couple
melons on his head.
"What do you think you're doing!?!" Some man was shouting at Duc. "You've
destroyed my whole stand! Who's going to pay for all of it?"
Duc managed to stand up and look around. He saw a crowd of people begin to
surround where he was, trying to get a closer look. Duc saw his
chance. "Watch out! A herd of bananas!" Duc pointed behind the angry man.
"What?" The man turned around. "I don't even have bananas... WHAT!?!"
The man spun to see the boy run into the crowd and disappear. "GET BACK
HERE!!! WHERE... ah, man..." The man fell on his knees and tried to scoop
the remaining fruit into a damaged basket.
"Hey!" CLANG! "Whoa!" SMASH! "What are you doing!?!" CRASH! THUD! "AHHHH!"
SMACK! "Pervert!" CRUNCH! FWAP! FWAP!
Cody burst out of the building with a plastic bag over his shoulder. The
door smacked the side of the building as he left. He almost fell as he tried
to run away.
"Ow! Ah! You do this... EVERYDAY?" Cody breathed heavily. On top of the bag
was Happosai, smoking from his long pipe.
"Well, almost everyday... Watch out!"
Cody ran straight into a wall with a loud smack. Happosai had jumped off of
him, and he landed neatly beside Cody.
As he felt the wall stop his progress, Cody noticed his hands were making
some sort of signal he didn't recognize. His thumb, index, and pinky fingers
were extended, whereas the two middles weren't.
"I'm surprised they didn't capture you, with those wonderful observation
skills of yours."
He shook his head as he pushed himself up and brushed himself off. He
looked around to see he was in an alley. Happosai must have put the pipe
away.
"Let's see what sort of haul you have here... Ah! This here's a beauty."
Happosai took out a dark blue lace bra. "This is definitely worth our
trouble."
"Our trouble!?!"
"Yes, our trouble. It's hard work teaching someone the ways of absolute
perversion."
Cody rolled his eyes.
"Well, since this is my new living, I guess I'll enjoy it." He rummaged
through his bag and pulled out a white bra.
"Ah... white. The color of innocence..." Happosai seemed to be reminiscing.
"What is this!?! What filthy scoundrels do my eyes witness... You!" A newly
arrived boy seemed stunned to see Happosai. He was wearing a martial arts
uniform and wielding a wooden sword, pointed at them. The light from the
alley exit made him look like a tall, noble silhouette. He seemed not much
older than Cody did.
"That's quite a sword you've got there," Cody said sarcastically.
The boy didn't seem to notice him. "Lecher! What injustice have you done to
the wonderful ladies of Japan this time, you filthy old man!"
"Cody, Let me introduce you to-" Happosai started.
"What? I'll introduce myself... ahem... I am Tatewaki Kuno, captain of the
Kendo Club, and the rising star of Furinkan High! I am as the lightning, I
am the blue thunder, I am Kuno!" Interestingly, thunder rolled across the
city, but the sky was clear.
"Wow, what an ego! I've seen some fools before, but this takes the cake...
and the wedding also."
Kuno turned a dark eye onto Cody. "We'll see who's the fool now, cretin."
Kuno readied his sword. He thrust, and Cody raised his arms in defense. Kuno
noticed the bra in his hands, and he almost tripped from trying to stop his
thrust.
"You... you... scoundrel!" He lunged again, and it connected with Cody's
chest. He flew back into a pile of garbage bags.
"What's this? Does the cretin not know how to defend himself... defend...
himself..." Kuno's face turned to horror as he slowly turned his head to see
where Happosai was. Unfortunately, the old man was not located there. Then,
his view turned black.
"What a moron. You should get up, Cody."
Cody took a deep breath and stood up. He smiled as he took Kuno's sword.
"Wow, this is quite a sword..." Cody tried a few thrusts. "Even though it's
wooden... Who was that guy?"
"That? That's only Kuno. You've got quite a form with that. You've studied
kendo?"
"Huh? Not at all... why?"
"Nevermind. Come on, let me introduce you to somebody."
When Duc realized that he wasn't being followed, he slowed to brace himself
on a nearby wall. After he stopped panting, he looked around to get his
bearings. Just then, it dawned on him that he had no idea where he was.
"Oh, man... where am I?"
Duc felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked to see a sign in his face that
said, Nerima. Duc turned his head to see that holding the sign was a very
large panda... wearing glasses.
As he fell over onto his side, he felt his fingers move: thumb, index, and
pinky extended while the other two were closed.
Chapter: 2 - Trouble at homes
"Hey, get up!"
Duc bolted upright. "Huh!?! What?" He noticed that he was lying on a
sleeping mat. He rubbed his head. "Oh, man... what happened?"
"Genma found you, and brought you here," said a stern, female voice. "I
might as well get it over with...," Duc looked to her, confused. "Hi, I'm
Nabiki. And you are?" She said it so boredly that Duc wondered if he should
answer.
"Uh... I'm Duc."
"Well, you remember you name... however odd... So, that's all I'm obligated
to do. Don't steal anything." With that she left the room.
A minute later, he stood up and walked toward a scent of food. He walked
down a hall and opened a door and found a young woman cooking an elaborate
meal. She turned around to find him standing there looking confused.
She smiled and asked, "Oh, are you a friend of Ranma's? I'm Kasumi. Are you
staying for dinner?"
He decided to play Ranma's friend to avoid suspicion. "Err... I'm Duc. Is
she here?" He guessed at Ranma's gender.
"She? Uh, well, no... But if she doesn't come back, you'll still be
welcome."
The young woman's innocence was almost painful to deceive, so Duc only
nodded.
Just then, Duc heard a door slide open. Duc looked to see Cody and a very
short man beside him. Duc ran into the entrance room.
"Cody!"
"Uh, Yeah, Duc?" Cody wondered how Duc found where he was.
"Um... you're here, too."
"Yep."
"Where's here?"
"Japan."
"Huh."
"Well, fine. Don't introduce me," said the man.
"Oh, this is... You didn't tell me your name, remember?"
"Ah... Well, of course. Duc, call me sir."
"What?" said an annoyed Duc.
Happosai glared at him. "I'd do what he says, Duc. He know martial art
stuff."
"Fine, fine. What do we do now? We have no food or shelter!"
Duc noticed a sign just out of his view of the right. He gave a glance to
see that it said, You could stay at my house. Immediately, the fuzzy arm
turned the sign so the other side was facing. It said, For a price, of
course.
Duc didn't want to turn to see who, or what, had the fuzzy arm.
A tall, dark-haired man walked into the room. "What's this? Do we have
visitors- err... customers for the night?" He smiled.
"Well... I don't have any money. But I'd like to stay here for free," said
Duc.
The sign fell to clatter on the floor and the noises that was coming from
around the house halted. The silence was painful, even for Happosai... well
not for him, anyway.
"YOU WANT TO WHA-" Soun made the doors behind Duc rattle. However Nabiki,
who was suddenly nice, interrupted him. "There ARE other financial
arrangements we could make, right?"
Duc could only nod.
Everyone walked into the dining room and took a seat. The seating was
arranged so that Duc and Cody on one side, two girls at the opposite, the
man at one end of the table, and a panda at the other end. Happosai had left
the room to go down the hall.
Suddenly, the man pointed at the two girls.
"These are my daughters. Kasumi, 19 and Nabiki, 18. I assume you're
available?"
"Whoa..." Cody was stunned. No one had offered him a cute chick before.
"Daddy!" they both shouted at once.
"Uh..." Duc responded intelligently.
"Err..." The man rubbed his head and smiled. "Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Soun Tendo, an owner of the Anything-Goes Martial Arts Dojo."
"You don't think they're gay, do you?" Nabiki whispered to Kasumi. Kasumi
'eep'-ed and put a hand on her mouth. Cody and Duc didn't hear, but Soun's
smile twitched. He noticed that they didn't notice, and he continued.
"Well, because I have a spare room, you can eat and sleep here for now. You
two and, hopefully, Ranma will have to work off the payment later..."
"Ranma? Who's Ranma?" asked Cody.
"He does seem nice...," Kasumi murmured to herself as she looked at Cody.
"Um... aren't you two friends of Ranma?" questioned Nabiki.
"I haven't even heard of the name Ranma," Cody responded. Duc's eyes
widened. Perhaps, he might have conned a story, but Duc made it obvious that
he was lying.
"WHAT?!? We're lending credit to strangers?" A new voice bellowed from the
panda... who was now a human. They turned to see that it was now a large man
who was wearing a white martial-arts uniform. He glared at Soun and then the
strangers. "You two! Just for tricking me, Genma Saotome, I'm gonna make you
work payless overtime... If you refuse-" He cracked his knuckles.
"Actually, I didn't do anything." Cody interrupted, wide-eyed. "He,
err...this guy," Cody pointed to Duc, who was suddenly burdened with
problems. "Whoever he is, tricked you. I'm a friend of... of... you know...
that old pervert guy."
The man and Soun's jaws dropped. "Y-You... a _friend_ of Happosai?"
"What's all the fuss about in here?" Happosai entered, with a large grin on
his face, which only meant...
"Master!" The two men cried out at once, their faces displaying utter
horror.
"Huh? Oh, no... There isn't any training for you two. I'm smiling for
another reason."
"Wh-Why's that?" asked Soun.
"THIS!" He jumped onto the table and pulled out a black bra from his shirt.
He held it high above him. Everyone but Cody and the men was surprised.
"What's so special about that?" Cody asked.
"Isn't that Akane's?" Nabiki looked one-eyed to him.
It was suddenly very quiet. Then, the front door could be heard sliding
shut. Everyone looked toward the room, but no one had entered. Cody smiled
as he noticed Duc had sneaked away.
Genma was torn between Duc's disappearance, Cody's new kinship with
Happosai, and the object he held in his hand. Soun was torn between his
loyalty to him, and his fathership to Akane. Of course, his fathership
gradually took over.
"You... YOU..." Soun suddenly was very tall and menacing. Despite
Happosai's expertise over Soun's skills, he still backed away from him.
"Uh, well... it goes like this, see... see?" Happosai appeared small, even
for him.
Soun's forehead bulged and his face turned red. His eyes twitched with
anger. Cody somewhat paled just by looking at him. Surprisingly, Happosai
threw the bra in the air and, unsurprising, dashed out of the house. Soun
slowly stomped forward, seeming to chase Happosai in slow motion. A loud rip
was heard as he walked straight through the door, still after his prey.
Genma suddenly realized that he was left with only Duc's disappearance to
think of. He jumped up and hurried out the new hole in the door.
The three teens slowly turned their attention to the table.
"I think I should leave before I get killed," said Cody, trying to think of
a way to escape the uncomfortableness. Then, it occurred to him that he was
alone with two females. He opened his mouth to speak, but Nabiki interrupted
him.
"Don't even think about it," was all she said. She stood up, walked out of
the room, and could be heard climbing the stairs. Cody wasn't even sure what
he was going to say, yet.
"I should continue with dinner for today... are you sure you can't stay?"
Kasumi asked so nicely that it made Cody wince.
"Uh, yeah. Can I help you with anything?" Cody heard himself ask.
"Sure." She smiled.