And it's finally edited. I was able to keep this address when I
thought I wasn't, but now I only get to be online 10 minutes every two
days or so.
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: 2toliar2&3.txt
Two Types of Liars.
Chapter two.
What has gone on before, because there are a few parts missing here.
With the added help of a raid by the Islamic Musk warriors, Ranma and
Genma were able to escape the Inquistition of the Chinese Amazon nuns.
A short shopping spree and a long boat ride later, they�re about to meet
the Tendos.
�Akane! Hey, you! What do you think you�re doing to my little
sister?� Kasumi screamed. �PERVERT! FATHER, GET THE SWORD!�
Akane looked up from her task, eyes wide in surprise as Kasumi
began yelling. She was wearing an unbuttoned shirt, and her bra was
missing. Closer inspection would have revealed that the bra was being
used as a rope.
�MMMMPH!� mmmphed the bound and gagged boy tied up in the storage
shed.
�Kasumi! Would you shut the door?� Akane screamed back.
�Akane, how could you let this boy talk you into this? He�s just
a pervert like the rest of them!�
The boy in question, named Goto, would have liked to point out
that it wasn�t HIS idea, in fact he had been against it for this very
reason. But he would have settled for a chance to get away with all
body parts intact. �MMMPH!�
Akane stood up and tried to push Kasumi out the door, but Kasumi
shied away from her touch.
�Don�t touch me until you�ve washed your hands! I saw what you
were doing!�
Akane shrugged. �Ah, you�re just jealous. I�ll even let you
have a turn if you wanna.�
�MMMPH!� Goto cried, shaking his head furiously to show what he
thought of that idea.
Kasumi searched the room and grabbed an old broom propped against
one wall. Akane took a defensive stance, shirt flaring wide.
In another part of the house, Nabiki sat in her room and looked
out the window, guiltily reading a trashy romance novel. Ever so often
she would sigh and hold the book to her chest, a dreamy look in her
eyes.
Twin shrill screams interrupted her fantasies, nearly causing her
to drop the book. She quickly shut the window and went to her bed,
trying to block out the sounds of combat below.
Downstairs in the living room, Soun sat quietly drinking a bottle
of strong sake. Every time he heard another crash he�d take a slightly
longer pull.
Even the somewhat unusual sight of a mostly naked boy getting
chased through the house by a broom wielding Kasumi didn�t cause much
of a reaction.
When Akane ran through topless, he turned on the TV. It wasn�t
the first time something like this had happened, and he feared that it
wouldn�t be the last.
Oh, sure, he�d been upset when it first appeared that some boy
had been fooling around with his youngest daughter, but it had turned
out that Akane had accidentally spilled some candles on him and he had to
go to the hospital because of the burns. Nothing had actually
happened, and he was spared the duty of killing the boy.
It had been a while before Akane had another boyfriend, something
he was profoundly grateful for. Her next one wasn�t exactly one he
would have preferred he to see though. Akane would never ride a
motorcycle again, he�d seen to that. He hated the idea of her getting
into a wreck again. Poor boy.
Kasumi had caught her trying to sneak several boys into the house
and ran them off, and she�d also been grounded for sneaking out more
than a few times.
Each time it happened he was amazed anew that Kasumi knew every
one of the boy�s mothers, and the boys had gradually lost interest in
seeing his daughter.
But now she was staying home more, along with his eldest
daughter.
He shuddered briefly and took another drink. Those two were
going to drive him into the grave at this rate.
The ringing of the doorbell caught his attention, then he looked
at the time. (Mail), he thought. (Maybe it�ll be good news.)
Although Kasumi was the one that usually brought in the mail, he
could tell that she was busy.
(Hmm, lets see. Bill, letter from angry parent, bill, magazine,
bill, magazine, H manga, must be Akane�s, postcard, junk mail.) He
paused to throw most of the mail away, then looked at the postcard.
Tendo:
Coming from china with Ranma.
Saotome.
At last! The answer to his prayers! He could only think of one
thing to say as the sound of a paper wall tearing in the background
reached his ears.
�Oh, thank god.�
****************
�Now listen girls, I�ve something very important to tell you,�
Soun began as he called the family meeting together.
�Is it about Akane�s transgression this morning?� Kasumi asked
hopefully, privately wondering why her father had a wide grin on his
face.
Akane responded by sticking her tongue out at her older sister.
�Well what was I supposed to do? I don�t want to still be a virgin at
your age. Face it Sis, you�re turning into an old maid.� She too
wondered why her father seemed so happy all of a sudden. She liked the
change though, although the nature of his grin disturbed her. (Maybe
he got lucky with one of the neighbors?)
Soun waved his hand through the air, cutting them both of before
they really got into another argument. �No, I�ve just received a
postcard today. Genma Saotome is bringing his son Ranma here soon.�
Both Kasumi and Akane perked up at the announcement, although for
very different reasons. Soun cut them off before they could say
anything though.
�Now listen carefully. The reason they are coming is so we can
honor a promise made a very long time ago, a promise to unite the Tendo
and the Saotome schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts. Ranma will
marry one of you two.�
Immediately they started screaming.
�I�ll take him!� Akane yelled, happily agreeing to marry the
strange boy. (If I�m married, Kasumi can�t say anything!)
�No, Father! You can�t do this! He�s a pervert!� Kasumi
protested.
�So?� Akane yelled back. �I don�t care, you don�t want him, let
me have him!�
�Father, you can�t let Akane marry some perverted little boy!
You don�t know what they�d do!�
Soun, who had his hands clasped firmly over his ears, finally
slammed his hands down on the table, making the three sisters jump.
�uh, i�ll take him,� Nabiki said in a very small voice.
�Let�s just get this straight,� Soun said firmly. �The promise
will be honored, and Ranma will marry one of you.� An unholy light
began to glint in his eyes. �Oh, yes. One of you will be married and
have a life of your own.� A short giggle escaped him before he
stopped.
They all heard a knock on the door.
�Ah,� Soun said, standing up. �That must be them now.�
The girls began to stand as well.
�SIT!� ordered Soun. They all sat back down. �Good, now, I will
go meet our guests.� He walked away to the door.
At the table, the girls all looked at each other in confusion.
They could distantly hear a short cry of welcome, followed by a short
scream of surprise.
A babbled apology, a few words that weren�t heard well enough to be
understood, and another short scream of surprise. Footsteps were heard
getting closer.
Akane squirmed in anticipation, Nabiki dreamily fantasized about
her dream lover all the way until they walked into view, and Kasumi
twitched, wishing for a broom to chase the perverts away with.
None of them were exactly prepared for their father to walk in,
followed by an older woman with very large breasts and a young red
haired girl.
Soun put his arm around the young girl and pointed her at the
group at the table. �Girls, I�d like you to meet Ranma Saotome and her
father Genma.�
They all blinked in confusion. Akane spoke up, �Um, isn�t Ranma
a...�
�Yes, by now you may well be aware that Ranma is in fact a girl.�
Ranma bristled at the statement, but Soun continued anyway. �This
complicates matters, but at this point I don�t care anymore.� He
turned to Ranma. �Ranma, my girl, this is my daughter Kasumi, age 19.
She�s an excellent cook, keeps the house spotless, and would make the
perfect housewife.�
Ranma nodded, bewildered.
�And if you would prefer someone closer to your own age, this,�
Soun said, waving at Akane, �is my youngest daughter Akane, age 16.�
Akane smiled and waved, prompting Ranma to smile nervously back
and lift one hand in a shy wave.
�Pick which ever one you want, that�s your new wife. Husband,
whatever they call it now days.�
Ranma choked, Genma shook her head and left, and the three girls
were very surprised.
�Wow, Daddy, I didn�t know you were so open-minded!� exclaimed
Akane.
�Yes, yes,� Soun said modestly, �I know I�m a very modern person.
Live and let live I always say, there�s no reason for the schools of
Anything Goes Martial arts to be stuck in the past, clinging to archaic
standards of who marries whom.� (Especially when there are daughters
to marry off.)
�But, but...� Kasumi began.
Soun looked directly at Kasumi. �You were always saying how all
boys are perverts, here�s a girl that would be perfect for you.�
Ranma finally managed to choke out, �Hey, wait! I�m a guy
already! And what�s this about marriage?�
�Aww, how cute,� Akane said. �She wants to be the guy in the
relationship. Way to go Kasumi! She looks like quite a catch! Just
look at the size of her breasts!� Akane stood up and felt of Ranma�s
chest, causing Ranma to back into Soun.
Soun stood immobile, making sure Ranma wasn�t going to escape.
Kasumi slid off the bench and crouched on the floor with her
hands over her head. �This is not happening, this is not happening...�
she repeated to herself as her family clustered around her, dragging
her to her feet to congratulate her and her new husband.
Or was that her wife? No, she was the wife, she had been raised to be
the wife, and the girl wanted to be the pervert. Or was that her
sister? Her sister was a boy? Kasumi finally fainted from the strain.
(This is just perfect,) thought Ranma-chan. (Figures that Pops would keep
a little thing like an engagement secret.)
The Tendos all clustered around Kasumi, who was laying unconscious on the
floor. After a few minutes of worriedly checking her over, Soun tenderly picked
her up and took her to her room.
Akane turned to their guest. "You'll have to excuse my sister, she gets
overly emotional at times."
Ranma blinked. "I see..."
Akane cocked her head sideways. "You really do plan on being the 'guy',
huh? You've even got the mannerisms down."
Ranma scratched the back of her head nervously. "Uh, what can I say?
Practice?"
"Daddy said that you are a martial artist. Do you know kempo?"
"A little."
"Oh, wow! I do, too! Wanna spar?"
"Well, o--HEY!" Ranma protested as Akane grabbed her hand and dragged her
out the back door.
Akane led the way to the dojo, then left Ranma standing in the middle of
the floor, as she walked over to a gi left laying against one wall.
Ranma watched in bug-eyed amazement as Akane unceremoniously stripped off
her clothes and piled them neatly beside the gi, then bent over to pick it up.
Ranma quickly turned around and face the other direction. "Geez, do you
always change out in public?"
"Huh?" Akane asked as she slipped the cloth on, neglecting to put on
underwear first. "Oh, you mean the clothes? I don't see what the big deal is,
I mean, I'll let you see mine if you'll let me see yours." Akane grinned.
Ranma choked.
"Well, are you ready?" Akane asked as she turned around and assumed a
fighting stance.
Ranma backed away dubiously. "I don't know..."
Misunderstanding Ranma's expression for fear, Akane hurried to assure her.
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you unless you want me to," Akane giggled.
Ranma sighed, then shrugged.
Akane threw a wild right hook in Ranma's direction, one so unexpectedly
sloppy that Ranma had a hard time avoiding it.
It wasn't that it was very fast, although there was a fair amount of
strength behind it. It was that Ranma had a hard time figuring out where she
was aiming at..
The next few kicks and punches were of the more traditional kempo style
that Anything Goes was based off of, but Ranma was wary of those unexpected
blows. She knew drunk-fu when she saw it.
Akane was impressing him with her variety of styles, rarely sticking to
one for very long and would shift back and forth with amazing speed, keeping her
on her toes. Finally, she threw a full-force crane style punch that, lacking
anywhere else to go, Ranma simply jumped over and landed behind her.
Akane, unable to stop herself, punched a hole in the wall of the dojo.
Ranma reached over and lightly tapped her on the shoulder.
Pulling her arm out of the hole in the wall, Akane turned to Ranma.
"You're pretty good, but why don't you hit back? Come on, I don't mind." She
took a wild kick at Ranma that deliberately left a large opening.
Almost effortlessly, Ranma jumped back and stood in a relaxed pose in the
center of the dojo.
She frowned when Ranma failed to take the opportunity. (She's not even
taking me serious! Lets see how she reacts when I really try...)
Ranma was wary of Akane tricks, and was pretty sure she could avoid
anything Akane threw at her. Still, she got kind of nervous when Akane suddenly
stopped and lightly stroked the side of her body. She stepped back a few steps
as she saw the hearts appear in Akane's eyes.
(Ohboy, this can't be good.)
"STUDMUFFIN!" Akane suddenly screamed.
"What?" Ranma exclaimed, freezing in her tracks as she tried to figure
out what Akane was talking about.
This proved to be a mistake, as Akane launched herself in her direction
without so much as a tensing of the muscles to give her intentions away.
*GLOMP*
"WAHH!" Ranma yelled in shock. "Get off me!" She was in some sort of
weird hold that she couldn't get out of, and no matter how much she struggled he
couldn't even get an arm free. They slowly toppled over to the floor, unable
to adjust his center of balance. What was worse was that Akane appeared to be
rubbing her... "HELP!"
The hand suddenly stopped it's wandering path and came to rest on her
upper arm. Akane seemed to have about six legs and ten arms, she'd never had
this hold used against him before and didn't know how to break it.
"Sorry about that, this is a really hard technique and it takes a certain
mindset to use," Akane apologized from somewhere down below his line of sight.
"I'll bet," she said dryly.
"But it's really handy when I get a hold on them. Watch." She started
moving, to all intents and purposes looking like she was straightening out and
getting up. Without letting go though, the knot she had tied herself into had
to go somewhere, and Ranma was the only choice at the moment.
"OOW! HEY!"
"See?"
"I see, I see! I'll take your word for it!"
"Oh, okay." Akane let go, allowing Ranma to spring back into shape. She
offered Ranma a hand in getting up.
Ranma accepted the hand out of courtesy. "That was... Interesting.
You're pretty good yourself."
"Thanks!" said Akane cheerfully. "Are you going to take me more seriously
next time?"
"I, um, was raised not to hit girls," Ranma said nervously, scratching the
back of her head.
Akane looked at Ranma with a puzzled look on her face. "You're really
into this aren't you? Maybe Daddy had the right idea after all."
Ranma smacked her hand into her forehead. (I need to change back, this
being a girl thing just ain't gonna cut it. And I've got to get rid of this
engagement.)
Akane's lust for battle having been slaked for the time being, she
suggested that they head in. Pausing to grab her clothes, she lead the way back
to the house.
"Um," Ranma began, trying to find a good excuse to get some private time,
"I could really use a bath. Been on the road all that time and all."
Akane nodded her head. "Yeah, I could stand one as well. I'm going to go
check on Kasumi, you go ahead."
Ranma nodded. "Um, where are the towels and stuff?"
"Here," Akane showed her.
Ranma looked nervously around as she grabbed her pack and carried it into
the changing room. She quickly rummaged through and gathered up the appropriate
bathing accessories, then stepped into the bathroom and slid the door shut.
****************
Akane barely glanced at the door to the furo, as she knew that Ranma
was inside.
Kasumi had recovered nearly instantly when Soun had started to call the
doctor. She'd once made a vow about dying before she ever called HIM, and
showed every indication of keeping that vow.
Although Akane was completely unselfconscious when it came to skin, (as
well as pretty much everything else) even she was a little startled to find her
guest sitting on the edge of the furo and enjoying herself.
To say that Ranma-chan was startled, however, would have been a bit of an
understatement. She had the same look in her eyes that a rabbit has as it's
trying to guess the make of the car that's about to run over it. The first
words out of her mouth were, "Aww, geez. Not again."
The buzzing of the vibrator seemed to add to the urgency of the situation,
but Ranma chose to forgo the option of shutting it off for the somewhat more
attractive option of covering it and her face with her hands and blushing.
Akane's almost incessantly cheerful nature saved them both further
embarrassment from the awkward situation. "You know, if you cock your hand just
a little bit more and twist it like so..." Akane kneeled down and reached to
demonstrate.
Ranma-chan just sort of squeaked and scooted backwards, legs sticking out
toward Akane. "What the heck do you think you're doing?" she squealed
indignantly, voice made even higher by the interesting feel of the vibration
dancing across the tiles underneath her. She squirmed a little and reached
underneath herself, pulling the vibrator out with one hand.
Akane shrugged. "Being friendly? It's no big deal, I've been caught lots
of times."
Akane watched Ranma a few more seconds and then turned and picked up the
shower head. While the bucket might have been more traditional, she'd developed
a preference for the adjustable shower massager that had nothing to do with the
sore muscles she developed after particularly strenuous training.
"Excuse me, um, what are you doing now?" Ranma asked.
"Oooh," Akane replied as she ran the shower head down the front of her
body, slowly. "I'm getting wet, what does it look like I'm doing?" she said,
nearly purring with pleasure.
Ranma's eyes nearly bugged out for the second time that day. "Um, yes, ah
ha, I see, no, I mean, I'm not looking, ah, could I please get a little
privacy?"
Akane reached over and carefully adjusted the water pressure and
temperature with one hand, keeping the nozzle pressed firmly against her
stomach. "Why?"
"Please? This is awkward."
Akane gasped as something occurred to her. "Oh, I'm so terribly sorry!
I'm being rude to a guest!"
Ranma looked puzzled despite himself.
"Here I am, hogging the shower when it's you as our guest who should be
allowed to use it! I'm so terribly sorry, here you can have it." Akane pulled
the shower head away and leaned forward so she could hand the outstretched hose
to Ranma.
That wasn't quite what Ranma had in mind though, and she backed away
farther. "No, that's not what I meant..."
Backing away was probably a bad idea though, as it forced Akane to lean a
little bit more and start crawling in order to reach. She didn't notice the
slick spot on the tiles though, and her hand slipped.
Her leg lashed out in a desperate attempt to keep her balance, and her
foot struck the cold water knob and somehow turning it on full. Her other hand,
already outstretched in Ranma's direction, came down hard on the tiles between
Ranma's legs with the shower nozzle still clutched in it's grasp.
Put together a sudden high pressure blast of cold water, a body still warm
from the previous dip in the furo, and just the right angle...
"EEEEEEEEEE!"
****************
Meanwhile, back in the living room, Kasumi had calmed down and was
cleaning the house and serving tea in a very determined manner.
Soun was kicking back with a newspaper and staring at the male form of his
friend that had just walked in from somewhere else in the house.
Nabiki wasn�t there, not that anyone would have noticed.
Soun had just opened his mouth to say something to his old friend, Genma
had just opened his own mouth to say something back, and Kasumi had just picked
up a vase to dust, when a very loud, very high-pitched scream interrupted them
all.
"Glarg!" said Soun, covering his ears.
Genma choked on whatever he was about to say.
Kasumi involuntarily dropped the vase with a crash, and emitted a soft
'eep' of her own. A distant thump was ignored by all present.
"PERVERT!" Ranma-chan screamed as he ran full speed through the house and
skidded to a halt in the living room, still panting. "There's a pervert in the
bathroom!"
Soun nodded wearily with his head bent down, trying to feel his heart. "I
see you've made friends with Akane already." Then he looked up and froze much
like Kasumi.
Genma just covered his face with his hands and left the room, leaving his
son to his fate for the second time that day.
Akane sedately walked in behind Ranma, wearing a towel. "Excuse me? Who
is calling who a pervert?"
She tried to stop herself, to no avail. With a certain sick fascination,
Kasumi's gaze slowly took in the water dripping from her finacee onto the
floor, the definite lack of clothing, the final proof of Ranma's natural hair
color, Ranma's deepening full body blush that was rapidly approaching that
color, and finally, Ranma's choice of bathroom accessories.
*THUD*
Special thanks to John Go (hpackrat@hotmail.com) who has devoted a large
portion of his time to this series and even agreed to co-author and/or finish
the rest of this little idea. Thanks also to X-ile and his insistence I write
more, T.H. Tiger for his helpful comments (all of which I still havn�t responded
to but will soon), Douglas MacDougall for his very detailed C&C, and everyone
who responded to my posts.
This is the tentative final draft of parts two and three. Should any more
errors be pointed out, I will happily correct them. As always, C&C is recieved
with great joy, even flames. (Oooh yeah, talk dirty to me... ^_-)
Sorry that I still havn�t finished chapter three of my Nuku Nuku alt, even
though I said I would. Real life has been killer.
The web page will recieve a superficial update soon, containing all of my
fics yet to be put on there.
Ragun P. Moody
AKA Kichigai
ICQ# 37606443
Visit my site! http://lavender.fortunecity.com/clockwork/416/index.html
There are two types of liars in the world. Those who say they haven't, and
those who say they quit.