"I hate you," Aeka said calmly to Ryouko right before Ryo-Ohki was
dragged into the icy depths of the ocean below.
The sad part is, I saw this coming and thought, "He wouldn't actually do
that."
I stand corrected.
If the Neraton can survive orbital reentry, how could you just stick one
end of the injector into it? And would the heat of reentry, proven to be
thousands of Kelvins, sublime it? And come to think of it, why would you
ned a seperate chemical to make it sublimate in the first place?
And...Note to self. Never C&C after doing two hours Physics work. Sorry.
Nevermind.
Not very original in most of the names of planets and Races are you?
Within seconds after it was freed, the Sasquish's eyes fluttered open as it >reoriented itself to the world it had been awakened to.
Considering the line before was talking about the chances of the
Sasquish dying, you might want to add a "However" or something similar.
His blows had no effect, mostly due to the thick hide of the alien.
Doesn't he have a gun? Or in shock did he simply not think of it?
On the other hand, he's even stronger than most Sasquish and can bench
press well over a ton under standard gravity conditions.
So the bad guys have a berserker were-bear? This could be interesting.
Darkness began to claim Onita.
Already mentioned that.
Ariana's amusement turned to chastisement as she saw Stargrave standing
in the ruins of the doorway to the ship's brig. "It's... ah..."
Old custom from my homeland. "The Strangling of Friendship."
As much as she couldn't stand the woman, she exuded an air of
controlled deadliness.
Of course, the fact that none of these people have bathed in days might
have something to do with that air.
Tenchi assessed the situation.
He was in the single most common, yet unfortuante situation in any anime
sex farce. He was really in trouble now.
You use the word cleavage a whole lot in that scene. You may want to
take make a few exchanges.
I also don't really see what point that scene servered. Mere filler?
It took them another day and a half to cover the forty-eight kilometers
between themselves and the path the Shihana had taken.
Snip
and they were able to set a pace
that would cover slightly better than twenty kilometers a day
? My math gives me an inconsistency.
Within several moments, he was completely encased in ice.
Kill him while he's down!
And several feet away, one of the most lethal killers in the universe
remained where it was, only two shields away from blossoming as it was
created to do.
Feh. Just use a really, really, REALLY big bomb. Shihanna, pff.
Good job.
Miashara