> ----- Original Message -----
From: "Neil Reynolds" <neil@panix.com>
To: <ffml@ffml.fanfic.com>
Sent: January 21, 2000 5:38 PM
Subject: [FFML] [incomplete, need advice][Ranma]To Tell a Hawk From a
Handsaw
I need some commentary on this. The only OOC should be Ranma, I've
made
him
brighter :)
Well, I agree Ranma's OOC, but only vis a vis his speech pattern.
Doing
a Shakespeare riff with Ranma has been attempted many times, usually with
the comedies (Taming of the Shrew, Much Ado About Nothing) as a matter of
fact, isn't there an entire series that takes its chapter names from the
plays? Anyway, Hamlet's an interesting choice, considering how it ends
badly
for all concerned. I'd love to see this continued, personally.
Advice: Continue to use Soun and Genma as dual Poloniuses (Poloniai?
How
the hell do you pluralize that?) Maybe Hiroshi and Daisuke as Rosencrantz
and Guilderstein. You seem to be splitting Ophelia's part between the
three
Tendo sisters and the fiancees, which works well. Who's he going to tell
to
"get thee to a nunnery?"
I agree with Nathan Baxter that you might want to have Ranma deliver
his
lines in his usual "too cool for you" idiom. I know, I know, it sacrifices
a
lot of the innate beauty of the language, but as far as i'm concerned it's
worth it for the purpose of the story.
Keep writing! I eagerly anticipate the finished product!
Here Endeth The Lesson.
Spa Fon!
Dave