And now for something slightly different...
Thanks to Dave Roeder and Darniil Entroth for prereading.
~~~~~
A Man Among Women
a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Vince Seifert (seifertv@csus.edu)
Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are copyright 1987, 2000
by Takahashi Rumiko. Publishing rights (Japan) by Shogakukan
Inc. Publishing rights (North America) by Viz Inc. This work
is not intended to infringe those rights.
~~~~~
The traveller returned to the Tendo home on an afternoon in
late spring, one of those boisterous days when the rushing rain
showers would send water sluicing into the gutters one minute and
five minutes later the sun would sparkle off the clean streets.
She was a small woman, lean and athletic, with her hair pulled
back and braided into a pigtail. Her clothing was baggy and
soaked, worn and stained with journeying, but her step was light
and quick despite the large pack she bore.
She stopped outside the gate and swept her hands over her
hair, apparently trying to groom it a little, but then gave a
short laugh, pushed the gate open, and went in. There came a
stifled squeal of excitement and a scrambling sound from inside
the house as she approached; grinning, she swung the pack easily
off her shoulders and set it beside the door, then waited.
She didn't have to wait long. "Daddy! Daddy's home!" The
door burst open and two small boys dressed in gis, perhaps six
and seven years old, rushed out and launched attacks on her.
Dropping to one knee, she fended off the boys' punches and kicks
with blurring hands, laughing.
"Enough!" she exclaimed finally. The boys stepped back and
bowed, but she could easily see them trembling with the effort of
standing still. "That's my good boys," she said, straightening.
"Now, let's see if you're big enough to carry my pack in, eh?"
"I am! Watch!" The larger boy grabbed the pack and hefted,
shifting it a few centimeters but not quite able to lift it.
"No, me!" The smaller boy shoved his brother aside, but
managed even less. They glared at each other, then sighed
disappointedly and each seized a pack strap. Between them, they
were able to get it off the ground.
Grinning, the pigtailed woman followed them into the house.
Her breath caught in her throat at the beauty of the woman
standing just beyond the tiled depression in the entryway; her
kimono, the dark green color of forest shade, was adorned with
paler green suggesting bamboo leaves, and her long hair was swept
and pinned into a sable sculpture.
"Welcome home, husband," the woman said softly, bowing.
Ranma cleared her throat and bowed in turn. "Thank you,
wife. It's good to be home. I hope everyone's well?"
"Yes, everyone's fine." The woman smiled at the boys as
they set the pack down with a thump. "Your postcard came a
couple of days ago, and you arrived just when you said you would.
Thank you for giving me time to prepare."
"Well, you know me," Ranma said, slipping off her shoes. "I
keep my word." She gave the boys a severe look. "Been keeping
up with your training, have you? You haven't given your auntie
any trouble?"
"They've been giving me lots of trouble," came a new voice,
"but nothing I couldn't handle."
Ranma looked up at the gi-clad woman standing at the bend in
the hall, one hand raised to rest on the corner, and smiled.
"I'll bet. Thanks, Akane-oneechan."
"I'm sure you'd like a hot bath, Ranma," Kasumi said.
"Everything's ready for you. I'll just go change, shall I?
Would you help me, Akane?" She turned and started up the stairs,
moving with the grace required by her kimono. Ranma watched her
for a moment, then shifted her regard to Akane.
"Welcome back, Ranma," Akane said warmly, and followed her
eldest sister. Ranma turned to the boys.
"Now don't you go looking in my pack," she admonished them,
leveling a slim finger. "You'll get your presents later."
"Yes, Daddy," the boys chorused, looking solemn. "We
won't," the younger one amplified. "If Taro does, I'll clobber
him!"
The elder rounded on him. "Says you!"
"Enough!" Ranma said sternly, but her eyes were twinkling.
"Now let Daddy have a bath." She wiped her feet carefully with a
towel and headed for the changing room.
The door closed, the soggy silk came off and was deposited
in the waiting bucket with a squelch, and the boxer shorts and
undershirt followed them. Ranma sighed with relief and went into
the furo room, hanging out the sign and sliding the door closed
behind her on the way, then pulled the plastic bath-stool over to
the shower and began to wash off the grime of travel. She wasn't
quite finished when she heard a tap on the door. "Yeah!" she
called.
"It's me, dear. Shall I wash your back?"
"I'd like that, thanks." The door slid open and Kasumi came
in, wearing a thin cotton yukata and with her hair back in its
usual bun. She knelt behind Ranma and picked up a washcloth.
"Did you have a good trip?"
"Pretty good." Ranma relaxed as the cloth scrubbed at her
back. "No real problems, a little excitement, helped some folks
out, kicked some-- er, defeated some opponents."
"Oh, that's nice. No new scars this time, I'm pleased to
see."
"Nope. How about yourself?"
"No troubles, thank goodness. The children are fine, give
or take a little more rambunctiousness than most people seem to
expect. I called your parents when I got your postcard; they
won't be over tonight, but they're expecting you tomorrow."
"Great, thanks." Ranma paused. "You looked beautiful in
that kimono," she managed. "Thank you for wearing it for me.
Any man would be happy to come home to such a sight." The words
sounded practiced rather than spontaneous, but the feeling was
clearly genuine.
"It was no more than you deserve, Ranma." Ranma couldn't
see Kasumi's face, but she could hear her blushing, and she
reddened a little herself. "And I enjoy dressing up for special
occasions."
Ranma smirked at the wall. "And this is a special
occasion?"
"Oh, you're such a joker." The washcloth swatted gently at
her back. "I'm always glad when you come home safe and sound.
Besides, a little ceremony reminds us of who we are and where our
duties lie, don't you think?"
"Yes." Ranma was silent as Kasumi completed scrubbing her
back and moved clear. "Thanks." She finished washing, rinsed
off quickly, and stepped into the furo, shuddering a little as
the change hit, returning his masculinity. Sighing, he immersed
himself up to his neck, then glanced at Kasumi.
Kasumi's eyes were politely averted. Sometimes she would
join him in the furo for a leisurely half-hour of conversation,
but evidently not today. Oh, well, if something was bothering
her, he'd hear about it when she was ready to tell him, and not
before....
"Is there anything special you'd like for dinner?" Kasumi
asked, standing up.
"Whatever you make is fine with me." It was, too.
Kasumi finally looked at him, and Ranma was relieved to see
affection in her glance. "You really are a pleasure to cook for,
dear." She slipped out the door and closed it before Ranma could
respond.
~~~~~
"Ah, Ranma-kun!" Soun exclaimed when Ranma, wearing the dark
kimono he'd found awaiting him in the changing room, joined him
on the veranda overlooking the koi pond. "You look well, Son."
"So do you, Father." Ranma looked his father-in-law over
carefully, but Soun seemed to be weathering the years without
much difficulty; he looked happy, for one thing, and that counted
for a lot. "Chasing the boys keeping you busy?" he suggested.
Soun laughed. "Ha, they're a handful, all right. If I'd
had boys, they'd probably be a lot like that." He looked wistful
for a moment, then brightened as Ranma's sons came tearing around
the corner of the house and skidded to a stop upon noticing the
two men.
"Your turn at the bath," Ranma told them before they could
either escape or tackle him. "It's almost suppertime."
"Aww--"
"Go on, wash up." They went, grumbling. Soun returned to
watching the garden and the sky, and Ranma followed suit. Their
contemplations were interrupted slightly by Kasumi's delivery of
drinks, but she retired in silence. Ranma sipped his tea
contentedly.
"I don't know how you can leave this," Soun muttered gruffly
a while later. "Your wife, your sons, the school...."
"I don't either," Ranma said quietly, without losing the
contentment. "But in a few months, I will know, and so will you,
Father."
Soun's mustache twitched, concealing a reluctant smile, and
he nodded without speaking.
"Suppertime, everyone!" Kasumi's soft voice, raised as far
as it ever was, triggered activity inside the house. Ranma stood
up and offered Soun a hand, but the older man waved it aside and
got up under his own steam.
"I'm not that decrepit yet, sonny," he huffed.
Ranma grinned. "Funny, Cologne says that, too." He
followed Soun in.
Supper was merry, with a couple of months' worth of catching
up flying back and forth over the plates and bowls. Kasumi
presided over the rice cooker, seeing to it that her family was
well-stuffed. Akane brought Ranma up to date on her nephews'
progress in kempo, not without interjections from her students.
"When can I go on a training trip with you, Daddy?" Jiro
demanded suddenly. "Panda-gran'pa says we're plenty old enough.
He says you was on the road already when you was as old as me."
Ranma glanced at Kasumi and flinched a little; her over-my-
dead-body look was subtle, but he was expecting it. "Well, Panda-
gran'pa's not your daddy, I am. And I say you're not big enough.
You can't even lift my pack yet. We'll go on training trips
someday, but not until I say you're ready. We won't be gone for
months like I am, though, and we sure won't be gone for years
like I was when I was your age." He glanced cautiously at Kasumi
again, and was rewarded by a relieved smile.
Soun had his hand over his mustache, though, and Akane was
rolling her eyes and biting her lip. "I told them about the Neko-
ken, but they thought it was a great idea," she said. "Jiro
actually went around catching cats."
"Aiyah," Ranma said under his breath, his pigtail standing
out stiffly.
Akane giggled. "You got it. I explained to him that you,
um, would be really unhappy if you came back and found the place
festooned with kitties. We had a heck of a time putting them all
back."
"Well, good," Ranma said. "I guess he's taking after his
mother. I haven't forgotten that time SOMEone brought in ca-
cats to drape all over me." He directed a mock severe look at
Kasumi.
"I'm so sorry about that," Kasumi said contritely, but her
eyes were dancing with mirth. "It seemed to be the thing to do
at the time...."
"Hmph." Ranma glared at his sons. "Listen up, you two.
Don't put those critters anywhere Daddy's going to come across
them. Not as a joke, not as a prank, not ever. I mean it."
"I won't," Taro said. Jiro nodded.
"I was very clear about that," Akane said reassuringly.
"Glad to hear it." Ranma pushed back from the table.
"Thanks for dinner!" He went out while the others were echoing
him and came back in with his pack dangling from one hand. "Now
let's see what we have for good boys!" He opened the pack and
rummaged in it for a moment, then peered craftily at his sons
over the flap and held up a hand-sized wad of cloth. "Just one,
so you'll have to share it. Here!" He tossed the packet and
watched the resulting tussle benevolently.
Eventually precedence was settled, and Taro unwrapped the
cloth from-- "A tooth?" Taro held up the conical, slightly
curved object and looked at it in puzzlement.
"Got it in one. A dragon's tooth," Ranma said.
Taro stared at him and scoffed. "There's no such things as
dragons!"
Ranma did not take offense. "That'd come as a shock to the
dragons," he said off-handedly. He favored Taro with a grim
smile. "I'm not making it up, Son. Don't show that to teachers
or scientists; it'd just make them unhappy. It's just like that
you don't tell people I'm a woman sometimes. Okay? Now that
we've got that straight, let me tell you how I came by it...."
~~~~~
The house was quiet a few hours later when Ranma turned out
the light and slid under his quilt. His was the rectangular room
between the tearoom and the bath, the room Happosai had occupied
before the old master's final defeat. Scrubbing, incineration,
fumigation, and even exorcism had been necessary to render it fit
for habitation again, but now it was his, a bare, tranquil space
with his few possessions tucked away in its cabinets. He'd
always traveled light, and only carried souvenirs for other
people.
Ranma lay on his back with his hands behind his head,
waiting patiently. Kasumi might come to his room, or she might
not, but unspoken habit established that he was not to come to
hers. Her room was still the upstairs room she'd lived in as
long as he'd known her, very nearly on the opposite side of the
house from his. Soun had offered to move out of the large ground-
floor room he'd once shared with his wife, but she'd smiled and
refused, citing the convenience of being next to the boys' room
that had been Nabiki's before she moved out.
To Ranma's senses, Kasumi's presence preceded even the dim
flicker of yellow light through the cracks around the opaque
shoji doors. The quiet tapping at the door came as no surprise.
"Come in."
She slid the door shut behind her, knelt, and placed the
little candle-lantern on the floor, then blew it out. Her
nightgown rustled in the darkness and then she was beside him on
the futon, a familiar, soft-skinned warmth. Alert to her mood,
he touched her gently, as she preferred to be touched, and was
welcomed yet again.
~~~~~
"Kasumi...." Ranma's quiet word halted Kasumi as she was
about to slide the door open to depart. She paused and turned.
"Yes?"
The candlelight glittered in Ranma's eyes. "If you don't
mind staying a little while longer...."
"Of course not, dear." She knelt, arranging her gown around
her legs, set the lantern on the floor, and waited, watching him.
"I brought you a gift." Ranma reached over to pick up a
flat, hand-sized packet and set it on the floor between them.
"Thank you, Ranma." She bowed and took the packet, placing
it in her sleeve. Ranma knew she'd open it in private; he might
see the jade bracelet later, or he might not, depending on how
much she liked it and how much the household needed money.
"Er...." Ranma wondered how to say it, then decided to just
say it. "Do you want another child, Kasumi?"
Kasumi smiled. "The two we have are enough for me, I
suppose. If you want another, though...."
"No, that's not what I meant." Ranma paused, chewing his
lip. "If you don't, why are you here?" he asked, trying to pitch
his voice so that it wouldn't sound like an accusation.
Kasumi lowered her head so that her hair, so long when
unbound, fell around her face. "It's my duty," she said softly.
"Is that all it is?"
"Oh, no, Ranma," Kasumi said quickly, looking up. "I didn't
mean to imply that at all. This duty has always been a pleasant
one. Even the first time, when neither of us really knew what we
were doing. You've been very patient with me, and kind, and
gentle."
"It wouldn't have been right to be anything else," Ranma
said, blushing a little. "Kasumi... are you happy?"
"I'm content," she said after a short pause. "I have
everything I should have: my home, my family, friends, a
comfortable income. I'm married to a brave, strong, handsome man
who is a good father to our children, and respectful to my
father, and very discreet. All is in harmony."
"Fine... I just, you know, well, you don't have to if you
don't want to, is all."
"Thank you for your consideration, Ranma," Kasumi said,
lowering her face again. "But please don't concern yourself with
that. I do want to. I want--" She stopped suddenly, then said
in a voice so soft that only the stillness of the room enabled
Ranma to hear her words clearly, "I will continue to perform all
the duties of a wife, and you will continue to return to me."
"Kasumi...."
"I really am fond of you, Ranma." Kasumi gazed at him with
candlelit affection, and Ranma reflected that he had never known
Kasumi to lie to him in all the years they'd been married.
"I'm fond of you too, Kasumi." Manners required parity in
the response, but in truth Ranma himself thought of his feelings
for Kasumi as more than fondness. "That's, er, all I wanted to
say."
"Thank you, dear. I'm glad you did. Good night."
~~~~~
Ranma greeted the sunrise in his customary way, on the road
or at home, performing a solitary, elegant dance of precisely
controlled violence. He finished and turned just as Akane spoke.
"That's new."
"Morning, Akane-oneechan." He hopped down off the rock by
the koi pond.
"So, are you going to teach me that?"
"Of course. C'mon, I got something for you in the dojo."
He headed off in that direction around the outside of the house;
Akane went back inside, following the walkways to the same
destination. When she got there, Ranma was waiting for her with
an open smile and a foot-long parcel in each hand. "Take your
pick," he said, holding them out.
"Mmm... that one," Akane said, affecting a childlike
demeanor and pointing at Ranma's left hand. He tossed it to her,
and she plucked it out of the air and started unwrapping the
cloth. "Oh, a box!" she sang happily. "Just what I always
wanted!"
"Open the box, silly," said a disgruntled Ranma.
Akane did. "Wow, that's pretty," she breathed, taking out a
steel kozuka. The slim knife had an integral haft decorated with
intricate engraving; it was meant to be carried in a pocket
carved out of a sword scabbard, with the engraving showing.
Akane turned, sighted on the far wall of the dojo, and whipped
her arm back and forward. Spung! The kozuka quivered in the
target there, very near the dot. "Nice balance, too," Akane
said, walking over and retrieving the knife. "Where'd you get
it?"
"Ukyo found it and thought you'd like it," Ranma said.
Akane gave him a slightly odd look, but said, "Well, thank
her for me, then. I have something for her, too, so remind me
before the next time you leave."
"You bet." Ranma held out the other parcel. "This one's
from me. Careful, it's fragile."
"How'd it get here intact, then?" Akane teased him, but she
removed the wrapping carefully. "A scroll. What's on it?"
"I bought that in Hong Kong from a guy who didn't know what
he had. It's about meditation, but... think in terms of battle
auras when you try it."
"Aha. Thanks." Akane set the scroll and knife out of the
way. "Now show me that kata again, will you?"
"Okay." Again he went through the moves, a little faster
this time. Akane was silent, watching, and remained silent for a
while after he was done.
"You're perfect," she breathed finally.
"Hey, I always was perfect," Ranma said cockily. Anything
to take the wistful, hungry look off her face....
"No. You were promising, and even brilliant. But now...."
Akane fell silent again.
Ranma walked over to her and raised his hand to caress her
cheek, but she turned her face away and down, arresting his
fingertips before they touched. "Not here," she murmured, her
lips barely moving.
"Where?" Ranma asked in a matching low tone.
He saw her swallow convulsively. "Last night, did she...?"
"Yes."
Akane let out a puff of breath, half relieved, half unhappy.
"All right, then. Um... the third place."
"When?"
"Tomorrow afternoon?"
"Fine." He stepped back and raised his voice back to a
conversational level. "I guess you could see that this kata's
for fighting a strong opponent underwater. I call it Mantis
Shrimp." He grinned.
"Heh. None of my students are good enough for that yet, but
maybe in a couple of years... Thanks, Ranma. These things you
come up with on your trips really help the dojo."
"Just doing my part."
~~~~~
"Ranma!" Nodoka exclaimed happily, flinging the door of the
small house open wide. "Come in! Oh, it's so good to see you!"
Her pretty face was still surprisingly smooth and youthful for a
woman pushing fifty; that it was alight with joy at the moment
probably helped.
"Take it easy, Momma. Kasumi said she called you. You knew
I'd be here tonight." He slipped off his shoes and stood, hands
on hips, for inspection.
"Well, yes, but-- Oh, look at you! What a fine, manly son!
Here, let me take your coat-- my goodness, did Shampoo-chan make
that?"
Ranma looked down at the gold and silver dragon embroidered
on his red silk shirt. "It's Joketsuzoku work, all right, but
not Shampoo's. She's got lots of talents, but that's not one of
'em. She traded for it."
"Well, it's splendid. Go sit down and we'll chat. Supper's
almost ready." Nodoka hurried into the kitchen and bustled
around for a moment, then came out again as Ranma settled at the
table.
Genma came down the stairs, a bit thicker all around, but
still moving like a bear rather than a hippopotamus. "Evening,
Son. Looks like you still have all your parts."
Ranma's polite smile slipped a little. "Yeah, pretty much,
old man."
"Forgive me for the rudeness, Ranma, but-- did the camera
work? Did you get the pictures?" Nodoka was practically
trembling with eagerness.
"Got 'em right here," Ranma said, patting his bundle. He
opened it and took out a sheaf of instant photos. "I'm afraid
the camera got kinda, uh, smashed, but the pictures came out OK,
most of them. Here."
Nodoka very nearly snatched them from his fingers. Her face
lit up again. "Oh, look at them! Dear, look!" Genma peered
over her shoulder, and even his usually grave expression
lightened. "They're so adorable!"
"They're little hellions, is what they are," Ranma said
proudly. "Shampoo wanted another generation of Joketsuzoku
warriors; well, that's what she's getting." Three girls, each as
pretty as their mother and as tough as their father, he thought.
Come to think of it, the other way around would have worked too.
"How is Shampoo-chan?" Nodoka asked without looking up from
the photos.
"Same as always. She's all 'Airen! Wo ai ni!' when I show
up, but two or three weeks later she'll snap at me or I'll blow
up at her or one of the elders will complain about how my conduct
is unbefitting a proper husband. Then we'll have a screaming
fight and she'll kick me out of her house, yelling at me never to
come back, never ever, and don't forget to bring the things on
the list when you do! This time it was the elders." Ranma shook
his head and rolled his eyes, but his smile was tolerant. "The
girls think it's hilarious, especially if I'm a woman at the
time."
He put more things on the table. "Speaking of elders,
Cologne sent this; you brew it like tea. She invited you again
to come visit, by the way. This is... well, I dunno what it's
called, but it's tasty."
"Is Cologne-sama well?" Nodoka inquired.
"She's still a great old bat. A little older, a little
battier."
"Oh, good." Nodoka laid the photos out on the table one by
one, then stopped and peered at the last. "What's this, Ranma?"
"Hm?" Ranma took the photo and looked at it, then blushed
and put his other hand behind his head. "Oops. I meant to throw
this one away. That's how the camera got broken. That's Kiima."
"Kiima?"
"She, uh, didn't like having her picture taken, and I found
out the hard way. That blur there is one of her wings."
"Wings?" Genma and Nodoka queried in unison.
"Yeah. Her people live inside this big mountain. They have
a lord who sits in this big lamp thing and sort of glows, and
that's where all their heat and light come from. Decent guy, a
bit standoffish maybe, but kinda... resigned-like. Anyway, they
all have wings, so she has wings." Elegant wings, strong and
proud; wings that could fling air in metal-cleaving blades, or
enfold a lover in rustling softness.... "Her feet have claws,
too." She'd worn soft boots to keep from shredding his calves
when she--
"Another conquest, Ranma?" Nodoka's voice broke into his
memories, and he nodded ruefully.
"Sort of, or maybe the other way around, depending on how
you look at it. She lives near Jusenkyo, and I was poking around
before I knew who-all lived there, and they caught me, and then
they wished they hadn't. Man, that was an adventure and a half.
I'll tell you about it sometime."
"That sounds nice. Speaking of conquests, I haven't seen
Kodachi-chan lately...."
Ranma snapped his fingers. "That's right, I forgot to tell
you. She got tired of-- er, we went our separate ways a few
years ago. Well, she married this Norwegian skiier, August
something, and she's happy. She spends more time out of Japan
than I do, these days."
Nodoka frowned a little. "It seems a pity. She was such a
lovely girl, and she enjoyed being your mistress so much."
Ranma grinned. "Well, he has a sister."
"Oh, good," Nodoka said, her expression clearing. "And
she's smitten with you, of course?"
"Clobbered by me, more like," Ranma chuckled. "She does
Martial Arts Freestyle Skiing, and I tangled with her in Hokkaido
last winter-- no, the one before. But Ingeborg's just a buddy,
really."
"For the moment." Nodoka smiled rogueishly and gathered up
the photos. "Still, you have Kasumi-chan, Ukyo-chan, and Shampoo-
chan, and you've given me six wonderful grandchildren... that I
know of. I'm so pleased that you're such a man among men."
"I'm glad you're happy, Momma. If it wasn't for you, none
of this would ever have happened." The double-edged words
escaped Ranma's lips before he could stop them, but fortunately
his mother only took the surface meaning. His father's eyes
flickered, though.
"You're welcome, Ranma. Well, I'll go serve dinner," Nodoka
said brightly, rising.
~~~~~
After the meal, Nodoka went upstairs to put away her
precious photographs and give her menfolk a chance to talk
privately, but Ranma didn't take advantage of the opportunity.
He appeared to be meditating, gazing at the wall over Genma's
shoulder.
Finally Genma broke the silence. "You should be grateful
for the bounty that fortune has bestowed on you," he reproved his
son.
"Bounty?" Ranma asked softly without shifting his gaze or
altering his expression. "Is that what you call it?"
"What else? You have at least three lovely women doting on
you, you have six fine, healthy children to carry on the Art, you
may heed the call of the open road...." Genma's eyes grew misty
with nostalgia. "Ah, I remember those days, the days when we
went wherever we pleased--"
"--and YOU ate whatever we could scrounge," Ranma grumbled,
giving his father a flat-eyed look.
"It was the core of the training to make you struggle for
your daily meal," Genma said virtuously. "It made you strong."
"It made you fat."
"Hmph. Go on, tell me you don't enjoy your travels now."
The older man stared at the younger and waited expectantly.
"I like the traveling and the adventures," Ranma admitted,
"and I like coming home, but I don't like leaving." He half-
smiled. "That's one of the things I like about Shampoo: she
makes it easy on me. She knows when I'm ready to hit the road."
"And I'm sure she's even better in the kitchen than she was
when she was here," Genma said, nodding. "And Ukyo's okonomiyaki
are as excellent as ever, am I right? No need to ask about the
fine table Kasumi sets; I've sampled her cooking often enough."
"Yeah. What's your point, Pops?"
Genma spread his hands. "You can go when and where you
please, you have a warm home to welcome you whenever you tire of
traveling, if one woman is cold to you or her meals doesn't
please you there's always another... and yet you seem to harbor
some sort of misplaced resentment. I can't understand it."
Ranma stared at his father. "This is your idea of a perfect
life, isn't it?" he asked in dawning comprehension.
"Of course. Ha, I even envy you--" Genma shut up quickly
and glanced at the stairs to reassure himself that Nodoka was out
of earshot, then continued in a lower tone, leaning forward
confidentially. "Perhaps I should accompany you sometime, eh?"
"Sure," Ranma said easily. "With your thick head, you ought
to be able to survive Ukyo's spatula-- oh, but Shampoo'll splash
you with cold water and skin you for a rug. They're still really
mad at you." He smirked, eyes glinting.
"Well, perhaps not." Genma looked uncomfortable for a
moment, then rallied. "Still, has any father ever given his son
a greater gift? I did the very best I could for you, and
succeeded beyond even my dreams. I trained you to be the finest
martial artist of our time, I arranged for you to meet women of
wealth, culinary skill, strength, or beauty--"
"Those were accidents!"
"Good fortune," Genma corrected. He sat back. "You've done
well. Your mother is very pleased with your accomplishments, and
that's gotten me off the hook for the ten years she was separated
from us. There's no question in her mind that her sacrifice was
a worthwhile one."
"There wouldn't be," Ranma muttered.
Genma sighed, pushing his glasses up his nose. "As I say,
you've done well, but there is one thing I'm concerned about.
This... affection for women that you have is understandable, at
your age, but it is a serious weakness. They have their world,
and we have ours. Protect them, yes, enjoy the comforts they
provide, but do not love them to excess. They will steal your
strength, the very quality that they claim to value, if you give
them the chance."
Ranma's mouth opened and closed. "Does Momma know you feel
this way?" he asked feebly.
Genma looked proud. "Of course. I told her so in so many
words. I took you away so that you would not be weakened by a
mother's love. Soon enough the time will come for you to take
your children away from their mothers, to harden them for a life
of struggle."
Ranma flinched, remembering Kasumi's look when that subject
had come up. "I don't think so."
"You will," Genma said confidently. "As for your, er,
attitude problem... well, consider the Enlightened One's words on
the cause of unhappiness." He heard Nodoka coming back down the
stairs and fell silent, looking smug.
"Gaah," Ranma muttered again. Privately, he thought it
fortunate that all his children were being raised by their
mothers.
~~~~~
"Saotome School Ultimate Technique: Martial Arts Sneaking
Around Discreetly!" Ranma muttered under her breath with a wry
smile. The "love hotel" was about a mile from the Tendo house, a
nondescript concrete building decorated with a garish sign
announcing its purpose and a scarcely smaller one advertising its
rates, by the night or by the hour; at least the smaller one
wasn't neon-lit, not that it really mattered in the light of
afternoon. Ghosting in unseen was trivial for one of Ranma's
skills, and locating the room harboring the quarry she sought
barely more difficult. She tapped on the door, opened it, and
walked in.
Akane was sitting on her shins on the floor, wearing one of
the short-skirted outfits she favored, looking young, cute, and
wholesome rather than seductive. "Hi, Akane. I'll just be a
minute," Ranma told her, locking the door and heading for the
bathroom and its hot-water tap.
When he came back out, Akane was on her feet; her expression
was a strange mixture of anticipation and resignation. "I always
promise myself this will be the last time," she said, almost to
herself. "I always vow that afterwards, I'll dump you, and this
will be the last time we ever do this."
Ranma smiled a crooked, rakish smile. "Maybe that's why
it's always so good," he said gently.
Akane let out something that might have been a gasp, or
might have been a sob, and flung herself into his arms. And then
their world was nothing but thirsty lips, and questing hands, and
trembling skin, and forbidden love.
~~~~~
"Do you know what day this is?" Akane asked later, when lust
had slaked itself and tenderness remained.
Ranma thought. Her question was obviously fraught with
significance, but-- "Nope, sorry. What day is it?"
She laughed softly. "You really don't know. Kasumi always
commemorates the anniversary of your wedding, and you're good
about remembering that and being home for it... except that one
time. She was so worried, and she tried to cover it, but we
could see."
"I remember. I was afraid she'd fillet me with her favorite
kitchen knife, but she just smiled and said she was glad I was
all right. The miso soup tasted a bit strange that night,
though."
"Well, that day's important to Kasumi. This day.... Ten
years ago today, a panda brought a pigtailed girl to our house."
"Jeez. Was it really? I mean, I'll take your word for it,
but you know, I hadn't seen a calendar in a while... I didn't
know what day it was back then, either."
"I suppose you wouldn't... but I did. This is the day I
commemorate."
"Akane...."
"My life is divided into before that day and after that day,
Ranma."
"Yeah. I know what you mean. I'll remember now that I
know."
"Mmm." Akane paused. "I went down to Kyoto last month."
"Ah."
"I went to see Ukyo."
Ranma sighed, knowing what was coming next.
"I met your daughter."
"Of course you did," Ranma said in a tone that blended equal
parts of wry amusement, exasperation, and resignation.
"Kurone's a doll, Ranma. Ukyo and Konatsu are raising a
lovely little ninja-chef who doesn't know if she's a boy or a
girl, and doesn't care. She'll probably grow up to be the sanest
kid in this whole deranged country, and who would have figured
that?"
"Yeah. So?" Ranma asked cautiously.
"SO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, YOU JERK?!"
Akane's furious shove shot Ranma out of bed like an arrow
from a bow, but he bounced nimbly off the wall and landed on his
feet, nude but not naked; he was neither defenseless nor self-
conscious. "Why the hell do you think?" he demanded.
"I KNEW you were going to see Ukyo and Shampoo!" Akane
shouted, crouched in the tangle of sheets on the bed. "I
COULDN'T not know that! But I told myself that you weren't
screwing them! I managed to convince myself that you wouldn't!
But then I saw that cute kid, and I KNEW! She was every bit as
cute as, as, as YOU are, you son of a bitch! I didn't ask, but
she HAD to be yours! HOW COULD YOU?!"
Ranma ran a hand through his hair and sighed, then looked
her right in the eye. "That was the deal."
Akane froze. "...what?"
"Huh. I guess you never talked to Momma about it. Or maybe
she wouldn't have told you, I don't know. I'm pretty sure she
doesn't know about us."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Akane repeated, plaintively this
time.
"You didn't ask," Ranma said without a trace of levity on
his face.
"Ranma, that's STUPID!"
"No, it's not," Ranma said forcefully. "It's the way things
are. Look, I don't know if Kasumi knows about us or not, because
she's never asked me 'Ranma, are you screwing my sister?'" Ranma
grimaced and shook his head. "No, Kasumi wouldn't say that." He
cocked an eyebrow at Akane's involuntary giggle. "She's never
asked me, 'Ranma, are you sleeping with my sister?' She probably
suspects; she's pretty sharp. She may be sure. But she's NOT
going to ask, because then I'd have to answer, and man, if I had
to choose between lying to Kasumi and answering THAT question
truthfully, knowing what would happen...." Ranma shook his head
again. "I don't know, and I hope I never find out. But Kasumi
wouldn't do that to me... or to herself, or to you."
Akane had stopped looking furious or hurt; now she looked
astonished. "Ranma...."
"Akane, if you really want me to tell you, I'll tell you.
No lies, no excuses, no regrets; it's all my fault, and that's
all there is to it. But you have to ask, and you'd better be
damn sure you want to know the answers. I trust you not to hurt
anyone with them."
"I see." Akane looked like maybe she did see. "I do want
to know some of it, I guess."
Ranma sat beside the bed and looked up at her. His gray
eyes were very tired. "Ask, then."
"What deal?" Akane whispered.
"You remember what happened. We escap-- er, graduated from
Furinkan, and the very next day, our parents staged that big
family meeting. They said we'd obviously never let ourselves get
married, so they'd decided to quit trying, and they announced
that the engagement had been transferred to Kasumi."
"And Kasumi said she would marry you," Akane said, nodding.
"I've always wondered why, but I've never had the nerve to ask--
oh."
"Right. And they said the wedding was tomorrow. And I
acted like a jerk, and you acted like a, a--"
"--an uncute tomboy--"
"--yeah, and things went to hell." Ranma took a breath.
"What you don't know is what happened after I ran out. I
remembered what happened when I was engaged to Nabiki, and I
thought about how Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi were acting up, and
I knew Kasumi would get hurt, even by accident, unless I did
something... decisive. So I went to the Nekohanten and kicked
Shampoo and Mousse out and talked to Cologne for a long time, and
we made this deal. She'd take Shampoo back to China if I'd come
over after a decent time had passed and...."
"And knock Shampoo up."
"Bingo. After that, I felt, er, ruined enough to go to Ukyo
and offer her the same kind of deal. That's why Kurone's name is
Saotome. She's on the clan register."
"How many children do you-- does Shampoo have?" Akane
managed.
Ranma's shoulders slumped. "Three. All girls. They aren't
Saotome, though."
"Oh, god." Akane folded up, leaking tears. "How could
you?"
"I'm my father's son, and my mother's," Ranma said wearily.
"My father thinks women are only good for making heirs and
keeping house, and my mother thinks a man among men can have as
many women on the side as he can handle as long as he's discreet
about it and doesn't embarrass his wife, and I was a dumb kid who
couldn't see another way out and thought the girl he loved with
all his heart didn't love him back."
Akane jerked suddenly and sat up. "All your heart?"
"Yeah. Back when it was whole."
"Ranma, if you'd been able to talk like that then--"
"Things would be different, yeah." Ranma smiled wryly.
"But then how could you be unfaithful...." Akane trailed
off; the pieces were beginning to fit together.
"To you? Akane, if I was going to be faithful to anybody, I
would be faithful to Kasumi! I was, for more'n a year, but then
I started getting the letters, and it was time to keep my other
promises."
"Oh...." That put Akane back on track. "But how could you
think that was a good deal?"
"It was a compromise. Our elders all got what they wanted,
or near enough, so they were all happy. Our generation... well,
there wasn't enough of me to make everyone happy, so I tried to
make everyone, well, equally unhappy."
"How did... were you happy?"
Ranma fixed her with his gaze. "It was a horny teenager's
dream come true."
SLAP!
"Thank you," Ranma said softly, lifting his hand to touch
his stinging cheek. "That was just like old times."
"Sorry," Akane managed. "For a moment, I forgot you're not
mine to hit any more."
"No, I mean it." Ranma sighed. "The thing was, I wasn't a
teenager, and I wasn't horny, either. I'm not gonna tell you it
was bad, but it wasn't... um... delightful. I didn't find out
how good it was supposed to be until you seduced me after you
came back from college."
"What? YOU seduced ME!" Akane protested.
"Whatever." Ranma paused. "If you decide this is really
the last time, though, I won't give you any trouble about it."
"Is that what you want?"
"You should know better than that," Ranma said in a low,
wounded voice. "But you deserve a guy of your own."
"What makes you think I haven't tried to find one?" Akane
retorted.
"No reason. No reason at all. I'm sure in no position to
complain about it."
"I did try," Akane admitted. "At university, and after I
came back from Kyoto. But they're all so... normal."
"How about Ryoga?" Ranma asked, but it was obvious what the
suggestion cost him.
Akane snorted. "That pig. He doesn't love me, he just
wants to get into my pants."
"Heh. Yeah, ever since Akari tripped him and beat him to
the floor, he hasn't been quite so shy around the ladies. I ran
into him in Shanghai a month or so back. He was trying to get to
Tokyo, but I was going the other way, so I gave him directions to
Bangkok and hoped for the best. I thought you forgave him for P-
chan, though."
"I did, but... he's not you."
There wasn't anything Ranma could say to that.
"I still daydream of how things might have been if we'd
gotten married. We came so close, that one time...."
"The time you woke up wearing a wedding kimono?"
Akane nodded. "But you were a jerk, and I reacted
appropriately." Ranma smirked ruefully, but didn't comment.
"But after that, things just kept on the way they'd been going.
I loved you, but I was afraid to tell you, because I didn't think
you loved me back. I thought I had all the time in the world.
If only something had happened that made me sure you loved me...
I think I could have told you, then. Or if I'd been braver.
Or...."
"Or if I'd told you," Ranma agreed. "As it was, I didn't
figure it out until I saw you the morning after the wedding. You
looked just like I felt."
"I was hung over!"
"That too." Ranma smiled wistfully.
"That night was the first time I ever got drunk... and the
last time, because it didn't help one little bit."
"Yeah." Ranma had no temptation to smile at that at all.
"Do you ever daydream about how it might have been?"
Ranma sighed. "I try not to think about it, because there's
not much point in what-ifs. I just try to find the best in the
situation I'm in; worrying about stuff that's already happened
would mess me up. It could have been pretty good. I would have
been faithful to you, I think."
"Well, I should hope so!"
"Akane, it's not too late to find out," Ranma said in a dead-
level voice. "We can't change the past, but we can change the
future. Shampoo and Ukyo have what they want; I haven't slept
with Ukyo since before Kurone was born, and Shampoo won't miss me
enough to make trouble. We could go away together."
Akane turned away. Her bare shoulders hunched and
shuddered. "Damn you," she whispered finally. "Damn you for
making me say I won't go. But I won't do that to Kasumi, or your
kids-- ALL your kids!-- or my students, or myself... or you, damn
you."
"Sorry. That's the most I can offer you. It's more than
I've ever offered anyone else." Ranma considered. "If you
asked, I would promise to be faithful to you and Kasumi. Momma
can think what she likes; she's got her grandkids."
Akane thought about that. "That... might be... good."
"Or I could be faithful to Kasumi."
"No." That answer came very quickly, and Akane blushed and
hid her face in her hands.
"I'm glad. Of all the pieces of myself that I gave away,
this is the one that means the most to me... because you're the
one I really wanted to be happy."
"Ranma... am I the only one you love?"
"You're the one I love the most," Ranma said with utter
sincerity.
"Mmm." Akane clearly wasn't happy about the distinction,
but she didn't ask the next question. "What really irks me about
finding out that I wasn't the only one you were unfaithful to
your wife with-- oh, hell." The convolution was just too silly
to take seriously, and Akane had to stop to straighten her face.
Ranma was evidently employing soul-of-ice to keep from cracking
up. "Anyway, I thought I was special. Now I've lost that."
"Well...." Ranma suddenly looked very uncomfortable. "My,
er, female form is still a, er, virgin... but you can have that.
If you want it, that is. Er." He cleared his throat, not daring
to look at Akane.
Akane's eyes opened wide. "What did you say?"
"I'm not gonna say it again," Ranma mumbled. "It was hard
enough the one time."
"That's what I thought you said." For a moment, Akane
appeared to be torn between clobbering Ranma and kissing him.
"No offense, but no thanks. I mean, it's sweet that you offered,
I guess, but... no."
Ranma heaved a relieved sigh. "To tell you the truth, that
was a piece I didn't really want to give away." He considered
again. "The only other thing I can think of to offer you is a
child."
"I thought of that," Akane said evenly. "I've been very
careful to avoid it. To give birth to the bastard child of my
sister's husband while living in my sister's house and teaching
at my sister's dojo... no. That would be so far past awkward, I
don't think it's even in this dimension."
"Yes. So now what?"
Akane smiled grudgingly. "It's a real pain when the best
choice you can think of is what you've been doing all along."
"Tell me about it."
"I don't want any promises from you, because that would be
like making a promise to you, and I don't want to do that. But I
won't make vows about this being the last time any more; that's
just fooling myself. You might get tired of me-- shush! Or I
might get tired of you. But until then...."
"All right. That's more than I'd hoped for, really."
"I won't ask any more questions for now, because I've had
all the answers I can endure for a while, but I guess I'm not
sorry I asked... and I'm glad you trusted me with the answers."
"So am I," Ranma said soberly.
Acting on some unspoken agreement, Akane got up and
collected her clothes, then took them into the bathroom while
Ranma retrieved and donned his own scattered garments. A few
minutes later she came out again, looking neat and presentable
once more, and regarded him thoughtfully. "What does make me
feel special is that I don't think you've told anyone else all
this."
"No. Well, Cologne knows some of it, of course, and Momma
knows some, but how I feel about it... you're the only one I've
talked to about that."
"That's something."
"It's a lot. Akane, I--"
"Sssh," she said, suddenly putting her finger to his lips.
"It's all right." She slid into his arms, easily and naturally,
turning her head to rest her cheek on his chest. Ranma breathed
the scent of her hair and reveled in the flow of comfort and
support between them, an almost physical thing, and knew she felt
the same pang he did when they parted reluctantly.
Akane studied him for a moment. "You make great kids, I
have to admit," she said. "That's something too."
"They make it all worthwhile," Ranma said simply.
"And you're good to Kasumi-oneechan. I really can't
begrudge her that." Akane looked at her watch. "There's another
twenty minutes left on the room. See you back home, Ranma-
niichan." She departed without further ceremony, leaving Ranma
to wander into the bathroom and dash himself with cold water.
"Well," Ranma said to herself, looking at the pigtailed
woman in the mirror. The choices she'd offered Akane felt like
choices she'd offered herself, and refused in favor of what was.
Duty suddenly seemed lighter, and she wondered if this was how
Kasumi felt, and she resolved never to ask.
The woman in the mirror smiled a shy, wondering, almost
innocent smile, blurred, and was gone.
~~~~~
Desire is the ultimate cause of all unhappiness.
-- Buddhist principle
~~~~~ end A Man Among Women ~~~~~
Note: This originates in a question Dave Roeder asked me, to
wit, what scenario could be devised to have ALL the girls get
Ranma while remaining serious and IC? I'm not saying this
answers the question, mind you, but this is what resulted.
Vince Seifert Fanfic Analyst FFIRC Frog
Prime: seifertv@csus.edu
Backup: seifertv@myrealbox.com
Techie: http://webpages.csus.edu/~seifertv/
Fanfic: http://www.csus.edu/indiv/s/seifertv/toth/
Ideas are worth their weight in gold.