Subject: [FFML] Re: [Fanfic][R.5]Pastpresent Interlude - Verlorenseele
From: "Miller, Bert" <bert.miller@unisys.com>
Date: 1/25/2000, 12:36 PM
To: "'Susan Doenime'" <wendigo@zerlargal.humbug.org.au>
CC: "'FFML@fanfic.com'" <FFML@fanfic.com>

Very much _not_ what I expected (I had the idea that
we'd see more reflection on the part of today's
characters, perhaps see R & A go ask U about her
parents.

Lots more good characterization.  Kiri is even scarier,
though we have hope for her.  Inji is even more elegant,
with occasional gestures which we like.

Looking forward _very_ much to the final part.

Comments, as always, are appriciated.

"appreciated"

	He shook his head. "Because parts of it are obviously 
false. I remember Kuonji-san. He was a big, barrel-chested 
guy with a beard like an Ainu, and he was gruff and easygoing 
and kind of rustic. Not like the person Pop describes at all. Do 
you expect me to believe that he went hick, grew facial hair, 
and changed his build and attitude?"

No... We expect you to believe that he married Inji.  Hmmm...
"beard like an Ainu".  Ukyou's father wouldn't happen to live
in Hokkaido, at present, would he?  And be the paper owner of
a certain garage?

	She returned after a few minutes with some yellowing 
pieces of notebook paper. "These were in Dad's papers," she 
said quietly. "He doesn't know I know about them. I was 
looking for things of Mother's a few years ago, and I forgot 
about the names in here until the book jogged my memory. But 
it always made me wonder..."

I note that Akane doesn't say that these sheets _were_ 
her mother's...  (Personally, I think that we haven't met
Akane's mother yet, just Kasumi's and Nabiki's [different,
of course].)


	There was a page missing, and as hard as Akane looked, 
she couldn't find it.

Heh.  Twist those screws.


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