Author Notes:
This is one of my first attempts at writing fanfiction (the others aren't
fit for human eyes just yet. You don't want to see this stuff without
spellcheck ;). I decided to write this one in the first person so that it was
clear this is all from Keyki's view point. C&C is very VERY welcome. Two
things for those that are going to read/C&C this:
1)Keyki's meant to start off uncaring of the events around her since it's
just another job, but as the story goes on she gets more and more drawn into
the characters lives.
2) Warning: This is my attempt at a half way decient "Get them all
together for a happy ending fic'. Sorry ;)
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Just A Little Nudge. . .With a Mallet or Two!
Part One: Introducing Keyki, Love Goddess Extraordinare!
An Anime Based Ranma Fanfiction
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I have to admit. I always thought this job was pretty easy.
Mortals have a lonely existence, it doesn’t take much to make them search
out the comfort of another. Just a little nudge or two. And bingo, love
explodes like a super nova. And I’d never had any trouble juggling jobs. One
couple here, another there, true love in a few days flat.
Then I got ‘the file’. It barely fit on my desk. And there were two
names that seemed to keep reappearing. Some town called Nerima. . .and a
martial artist named Ranma Sautome. I had a list of names that read like my
death warrant. It didn’t start off so bad of course, they like to easy you
into it before they plow you over with the train, you understand.
Kasumi Tendo: Possibly the sweetest, most unselfish person on the planet.
Flexible to almost any situation. A few unresolved issues about her mothers
death, but nothing a long talk with a man willing to listen wouldn’t help.
She’d make a great mom, and she already had some prospectives. One Dr. Tofu,
local MD.
Nabiki Tendo: Love of money. Extreme love of money. A little blind to the
pain of others and willing to take advantage of the dimwitted, but nothing
that would kill anybody. Contributes money to the family bills, since father
is out of work. Sounds like an okay kid, no prospects though. She dates em
for the ‘extras’ then leaves em in the dust. Heck, I don’t blame her.
Possible romantic hidden underneath her business image. Very hidden.
Akane Tendo: First Fiancee-
Now this is were they had me confused. I almost though for a moment
they’d sent me a harem case. Those can be a pain, getting a guy to fall in
love with one wife when he already has fifteen. I’ve had to drag some of
these mortals kicking and screaming into eternal bliss with the love of their
lives. But I decided not to stop to read the history report just yet. I was
too interested. We don’t get many family calls. Something had to be up with
these Tendo girls that they were all ready for love.
Akane Tendo: First Fiancee- Violent, tomboyish. But it had become more of
a habit recently, something she’d gotten stuck in do to circumstance. This
girl was definitely ready for love, she was just waiting for the right guy to
come along and make her feel like a woman. A romantic. She had two possibles.
Her betrothed (by parental decree) Ranma Sautome and one Ryouga Habiki, a
friend, but then I’d turned friends into much more thousands of times, and
this Habiki kid had a thing for her. . .
Habiki?. . . .Now where had I heard that name? I racked my memory for a
bit, but I came up short. You can’t really blame me for that though. You try
living since the dawn of humanity and remember the name of one mortal.
Ukyou Kyonji: Second Fiancee-Okonomiyaki Chief and owner of Ucchan’s.
Heavy abandonment and self worth issues caused by being left behind at a
young age by her fiancee, one Ranma Sautome. . .
Two fiancees? How in the heck does a guy get stuck with two fiancee’s?
Hmm. . .
She seemed to be having trouble excepting her feminine side, and had
fallen for her fiancee the moment he told her she was cute. She had three
possible candidates, Ranma Sautome, Mousse and Ryouga Habiki. . .
Habiki again. . .I tried for a moment to concentrate on the name again,
but I drew a blank. I was already beginning to dislike this Ranma guy. It
sounded like he was stringing her along, which would be bad for Miss Kyonji.
Falling for him the moment he told her she was cute? Sounded like she didn’t
think she could get anything better. I decided I’d find her better. I’d have
to check out this Ryouga guy and whoever this Mousse was, but there was no
way I was gonna let her settle for Ranma. And I was beginning to reconsider
matching Akane with him. . .
Shampoo: Third Fiancee- Warrior of the Joketsuzoku Amazons. . .
They’d sent me another amazon. Why did they always send ME the amazons? I
sighed and kept reading.
Engaged to Ranma Sautome by right of Joketsuzoku law of battle.
Oh god. . .not those laws again. I HATED THOSE LAWS! I swear, when I get
my hands on the low level goddess who thought it was a good idea to start a
warrior tribe of women, I was gonna turn her into a monkey. They were so damn
hard to get around. Not one loophole. Kill or marry, one or the other. I’ve
had to fake the deaths of four humans just to get past those laws. Why, oh
why did they send me the amazons?
Loved by one Mousse of the Joketsuzoku amazon’s since childhood. There
seemed to be some feelings there, but they were hidden very deeply behind
amazon training and disdain for the weak. Mousse huh? Well I guess that cut
him out for Ukyou. Shampoo was by all records, spoiled and dominant as most
traditional amazons are, and this Ranma guy didn’t have a subservient bone
his body. There was a great grandmother and a whole bunch of laws to get
around though. I had to sigh again, this might just take up my whole week.
Kodachi Kuno:
I didn’t even get passed the name. They had given me the case of Kodachi
Kuno. . .The case every love god dreads. The house of Kuno was well known in
our area. It could take years, decades to find a suitable candidate for a
Kuno. . .
I decided it was time to read the file. It took me a few hours. And by
the time I was done, I realized I’d just been hit by the train. But I didn’t
have a choice about it. According to the report the timelines were about to
converge, a decision had to be made now, or disaster would hit Nerima, and
brake more than a few hearts. And with this bunch, it might even kill a few
people in the process.
* * *
I’d been watching them for a few hours now, just following the action in
my Shadow form, a mere whisper of mist that seemed to hover nearby. I have to
admit, I was starting to feel sorry for this Ranma guy. In the morning I had
followed him he’d been attacked randomly by three men. A kendoist, some kid
in beat up cloths and a bandanna and a guy in white robes who didn’t seem to
be able to see a foot in front of him.
And that wasn’t all of it. Since I’d been there two of Ranma’s fiancee’s
had shown up, which had resulted in a battle over who got to have lunch with
him when he’d made it clear he wanted to eat by himself. And then his third
fiancee had pulled out the largest mallet I’d ever seen in my life and belted
him with it just for ‘inspiring the fight’. And nobody seemed to think it
was anything strange. In fact that Nabiki kid was taking bets on who’d belt
him first. They had made it all seem so. . .normal.
I sighed as I followed Akane back home. They had all fallen into a
routine. Love-Hate, Love-Hate, pull out a mallet, Love-Hate. I smiled as a
pig-tailed martial artist rounded the corner, followed by a scouring Akane
Tendo. But with one little spark I was gonna change their routine. I waited
until they walked side by side silently, each darting the other glances when
they weren’t looking. It was cute, that childlike attraction they seemed to
be trying to hold back. . .I waited until just the right moment, when their
eyes met. It was perfect, love finally realized at a glance, and it would
start them on the road to solving this whole fiancee mess. . .
I reached out my hand and willed the flame to ignite between them.
Nothing.
My zapper just made a sick little sound and fizzed at me. I had to blink,
that had never happened to me before. . . I tried again, willing the power of
all my centuries behind it. My fingertips glowed a blinding white, but
nothing happened. The moment was gone, and Akane and Ranma walked on, their
eyes never meeting again.
"Having trouble Keyki?" A snide voice asked from behind me. I didn’t turn
around right away, telling myself if I believed it hard enough it wouldn’t be
true. It couldn’t be him. There was no way that I could run into him after
all these centuries. . .here. . .this day. . .working on this case. I took a
moment to compose myself silently and turned to face him.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as lightly as possible. To tell the
truth I’d rather of run. He was the last person I wanted to see in the next
few lifetimes. He was aggravating. He was hateful. And as I took my first
look at him in over a hundred years, I realized he was still as handsome as
ever. And he was my ex.
End Part 1