Red-Head MST...
(We're in heaven again, and we see Andrew, Kami-sama, and Skuld sitting
and talking in a very famous stable.)
Andrew: So, exactly why are we here, um, God?
Kami-sama: I prefer to be called Yahu-Wahu. (Andrew blinks.)
Skuld: It's one of the many pronounciations that could have been given
to...(She holds up a sign reading "YHWH".)
Andrew: But Yahoo-Wahoo?
Kami-sama: Hey, it worked for Yahoo! the web company! And why should
you judge names?
Skuld: Daddy...
Kami-sama: Anyway, we're here for alimony delibrations.
Andrew: Deliberations?! Aren't you against this sort of thing?
Kami-sama: Not when you're going to live a long time, I'm not. Besides,
I love coming here to this stable. Recognize this place? (Andrew & Skuld
looks around. It's a very tiny stable with donkeys, cows, chickens, and
the occasional ferret. There's also a manger.)
Andrew: Wasn't this that stable in the Bible?
Kami-sama: Which stable?
Andrew: Ken Stables? (Sound: Rimshot.)
Skuld: Daddy...can't we just go on?
Kami-sama: Not quite. No, it's not Ken Stables. Try again.
Andrew: Well, there was only stable mentioned in the bible, and your Son
was born there. By the way, how did you get Mary...(Skuld covers
Andrew's mouth before he could go on.)
Skuld (whispering to Andrew): Daddy's a little testy about that still...
(Andrew nods.)
Kami-sama: Heh, heh...Anyway, I used the shotgun approach. (Skuld and
Andrew face-fault.) Shall we get started?
***************************
KaraOhki wrote:
Here's the next part...enjoy
Lina Inverse: Enjoy what?
Luna Inverse: The next installment of "Cinders."
Lina: Does it involve marshmellows?
Cinders
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by June "KaraOhki" Geraci
Kei: "Geraci", Italian for, "What the stinking crap is that mafia show
doing on HBO?"
karaohki@snet.net
January 26, 2000
Ranma 1/2 and its universe was created by Rumiko Takahashi, and
belongs to her. This work of fiction was written for entertainment
only, and is not intended for commercial purposes.
Earlier chapters are on www.karaohki.com
Onna-Ranma Saotome: What?! She's got her own website? How come I don't
have one?
A-ko: Yeah, you do, at www.bakabaka.com. (Ranma glares at a giggling
A-ko.)
Chapter 4
As far as Soun was concerned, the house was unnaturally quiet.
Quiet was not a word normally applied to his home. Ever since the
Saotomes' arrival the house had been filled with noise and life.
With one exception. After Ranma's departure for China, Akane had
disappeared. They'd heard a commotion upstairs, and arrived to find
her window broken, and the room filled with feathers.
Washu: Then the Road Runner came over with a sign reading: "Road Runners
already have feathers!"
Misty: Either that, or she thinks she's a chicken.
After a fruitless search for her, there was nothing for him to do but
wait. The silent vigil that he, Nodoka, Kasumi and Nabiki held lasted
until the miraculous call from China to tell them that Akane was
there, safe and alive.
Now the house was quiet and empty. Nabiki was in school, and Kasumi
had gone to the hospital to see Akane and Ranma.
Andrew: IN school? IN school? Don't you mean to say that she was AT
school?
Ranma: Gee, aren't you testy tonight.
Andrew: You go through three rounds with the Inverses, and you tell me
if you feel great.
Luna: But he can now kick butt.
Akane and Ranma. It was so natural for Soun to think of them that
way.
Nene Romanova: As natural for Soun to think about crying and whining.
Akane Tendou: Hey! Daddy doesn't whine that much! He only cries 23 hours
a day!
Nene: My point exactly.
Nabiki and Ranma. He'd tried saying it aloud, and it just wasn't
right. Why had he been too weak to oppose it?
Akane (screaming): WHAT?! What in the name Tara Lipinski's tutu is that
baka doing dating my sister Nabiki?! Kasumi, I can understand, but
Nabiki?!
Ranma: Um, she gave me a better retirement package?
The more Soun thought about it, the angrier he became. How dare
anyone call his little girl "damaged"?
Then he sagged. He'd seen how badly she was burned. People didn't
recover from those sort of injuries without permanent problems.
Soun put his face in his hands and wept.
(Mokona puus over and plays the world's smallest violin playing "My
Bleeding Heart." Everyone else starts to big-sweat as he waltzed over.)
Andrew: What is HE doing here?
Hikaru Shidou (big-sweating): Um...I thought I left eating his Pu-Pu
platter at that Chinese restaurant... (Kei walks over and rips out a bit
of Hikaru's hair. She holds up a tracing device.)
Kei: Wow...Cute and Devious. I like that in an assassin.
Mokona: Puuu...
*****
"I'm going to do this. I'm going to DO this!"
Ranma: Um, can you hurry up? You've been in the bathroom for three hours
now! (She promptly gets malleted by Akane.)
Akane gritted her teeth and got out of bed. She'd done it once. How
hard could a second time be?
One step. Two steps. Then a voice from behind her.
"Want me to help you?"
"No thanks, Ranma. I want to do it myself. I HAVE to." Akane
continued shuffling toward the bathroom, very much aware that Ranma
was watching her. She was going to prove to him and to the entire
world that she wasn't "damaged". Akane was suddenly aware of Ranma's
close presence behind her, which annoyed her a little bit. Then she
realized he was probably worried about how weak she was, and wanted to
be near enough to catch her if she stumbled. He was still right
behind her when she opened the bathroom door.
(Akane is furious.)
Ranma (looking a bit wounded): Ha! I was right!
Akane (screaming at the top of her lungs): Geraci no BAKA!
Andrew: Calm down, girl...and stop holding that mallet like that.
(Andrew is about to get smashed when Mokona glomps on Akane and pulls
her on the floor.)
Akane: Get off of me, you evil bunny from hell!
Kei (looking at Nene): Funny...you don't here that every day.
"Don't even THINK about following me in here!" she growled. Ranma
chuckled, and she turned around, expecting a smart remark. Instead,
all Ranma did was grin and wave her into the bathroom. When she came
out he was waiting there, leaning on the wall.
Akane was pale and shaking by the time she got back into bed, but
smiling triumphantly. She pushed the button on the pump for pain
medication as Ranma pulled the blankets over her.
"I told you I could do it, and next time I'll be faster. You just
watch!"
Lina: Testy, isn't she?
Luna: If you were torched for one touchdown and 324 yards passing, you'd
be mad to.
Lina: You aren't even paying attention to the movie, aren't you?
Luna: Sorry...I was thinking of Gourry-chan. He's so dreamy, even in a
dress! How come I don't get a bodyguard like that! (Lina sighs and
shakes her head as Luna dreamily grins.)
Ranma leaned over and kissed his fiancee. "I will."
Akane made a face.
Washu (imitating Ranma): Um, Akane, unless you're trying to be Picasso,
the nose isn't usually placed on the chin...
"Ick. Morning breath."
"Sorry!" Thirty seconds later the sound of Ranma brushing his teeth
came from the bathroom. Unfortunately, by the time he returned Akane
had gone back to sleep. He looked at his pump. The light was on, and
he pushed the button. Ranma hated to admit that he hurt, but it was
stupid to refuse to take the medicine that would bring him relief.
Besides that, it wasn't any fun being awake if Akane was asleep.
*****
Two things woke Akane. A voice, and the aroma of something delicious.
Akane recognized both before her eyes shot open. [Kasumi's here, and
she brought miso soup!] The first thing she saw was Ranma with a
steaming bowl of soup in front of him. Normally he would be devouring
it, but Ranma was totally ignoring the soup. He was glaring at
Kasumi.
Andrew: I'd just like to make a point that I'm kinda sick and TIRED of
people using marks or indications that the person's thinking! Can't you
just say, "Kasumi's here, and she brought miso soup!, she thought."
Otherwise it's just being a little cute.
(Suddenly, Mokona leaps onto the camera guy and brings him down with a
thud.)
"Don't talk to me about that woman!"
"But Ranma, your mother--"
"I don't HAVE a mother! If I've gotta make a choice between having
Akane and having a mother, Akane wins!"
Washu (leaning over to Ranma): So...what did your mom do?
Ranma (fuming): She posed for Playboy along with that little Austin
Powers twerp...
Nene: Didn't that upset your father?
Ranma (still fuming): Pops? He's got a role in the Tekken movie! He
gets to play Ling Xiaoyu's pet panda!
Akane reached over and touched Ranma's arm. "What's going on?"
Kasumi jumped in before Ranma could answer. "Akane, please tell him
to listen to me! There's something he doesn't know!"
Akane (bust out laughing): Are you kidding? Ranma doesn't know a lot of
things!
Ranma: Hey...just because I thought Macedonia was where the Macerena
came from doesn't mean I'm that dumb!
Akane (smirking): Sure, Ranma...say, didn't I see you miss the $100
question after you've used all three of your lifelines? (Ranma blushes.)
Ranma (grumbling): I shoulda flattened Regis right there and then.
When Ranma's face twisted into something that combined rage and
despair, Akane reached out and grabbed him on both sides of his head,
forcing him to look at her.
"Please. Just let Kasumi talk. If you still feel the same way when
she's done, I won't fight with you."
Andrew: But she will make sure Nodoka and Ranma get on the next
Christina show.
(Everyone stops and looks at Andrew.)
Misty: Um, isn't "Christina" a Spanish speaking show?
Andrew: Well, yeah, but I know that the Ranma cast got excellent Spanish
training from the Taco Bell dog.
Ranma: Afterward, we promptly shipped it to Hong Kong.
Andrew (rolling his eyes): And I'm sure some family loved having him for
dinner.
Akane watched anxiously as the emotions played across her fiance's
face. There was still anger and misery, but for just a second she was
sure there was a flicker of hope. Ranma closed his eyes and relaxed
his hands, which had been in tight fists. When Ranma's eyes opened
again Akane could see that he had regained his control. He took
Akane's hands from his face and held them.
"Go ahead, Kasumi. I'll listen."
Kasumi looked very relieved.
"Now Ranma, I want you to listen to me, and try not to interrupt.
Don't jump to any conclusions until I finish."
A-ko: Ranma then jumped and attacked Kasumi.
*****
Kasumi had learned a long time ago that food was a calming influence
on Ranma. That was why she'd arrived with breakfast. She poured a
bowl of soup for Akane and gestured at Ranma's bowl, which he still
hadn't touched.
"Eat that before it gets cold."
Ranma, who was still holding Akane's hands, didn't move, and Kasumi
allowed herself a small show of temper.
"I won't start talking until the two of you start eating!"
Kei: Wow, your sis is tough, Akane. But, what if a little temper doesn't
work?
Akane (blushing): Well, she'll pull out some whips and chains and whip
us into submissions. She's only had to that once.
She had the satisfaction of getting instant obedience.
"I won't go into detail about the argument I had with your mother,
Ranma. Nabiki said she told you the important parts. What really
made me angry was that she didn't seem to think the fact that you two
care about each other was important.
"What was really bothering me was something I saw Auntie Nodoka doing.
I don't think she realized she was doing it, but it made me wonder."
Andrew: A lot of things make you wonder, Kasumi. A lot of things.
Washu: You think she's totally stupid?
Andrew: No, it's just that her mind gets as lost as Ryouga gets lost
going from point A to point B. When you see her thinking, I think she's
somewhere over at point Q.
Akane looked totally lost. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm sorry, I was thinking aloud. Every now and then Auntie would
look at her husband. It was just a quick look, as if she was afraid.
He never spoke, not once during our argument, but every time Auntie
would look at him, his face would get very stern. I got this feeling
that he was warning her."
Ranma: Woah, woah, woah...this ain't Mom we're talking about. If anyone,
it's Pops who should be afraid of her.
Lina: Maybe there's more to the old girl than meets the eye, huh?
Luna: Maybe you should stop reading those Detective Magazines, sis.
A-ko: You know, Kasumi doesn't sound Kasumi-like.
Kei: Really? You don't think so?
A-ko: I mean, it's if she's actually able to think on her own.
Kasumi stopped talking, and got very red. How was she going to tell
them what she did next? She still didn't believe she'd had the nerve
to go through with it.
"After a while Auntie refused to talk about it any more, and said she
was going home. Daddy had already gone to bed, and so had Nabiki. I
think the both of them were too upset and angry to talk to the
Saotomes any more. I waited two minutes after they left...and then I
put on my coat and followed them."
(Everyone blinks except Akane.)
Akane: Actually, that doesn't surprised me. You know, she used to date
Leroy "Encyclopiedia" Brown when she was younger. Before she got the
Kasumi role.
A-ko: Really. Why would she date an American?
Akane: She played the role of Sally Kimball before she got tired of
playing it in '85, and wanted a more nice-girl role. Hence, Kasumi.
Andrew (squinting his eyes): You're not really "Akane" then, huh?
Akane: Nah, I'm just a figment of your imagination. Actually, you're
also a figment of your own imagination.
Andrew: Sssoooo...I don't exist?
Akane (grinning): Does the NWO suck?
Andrew (starting to big-sweat): Um...let me get back to ya...I think I
gotta lie down...my brain's fried.
Ranma and Akane nearly choked on their soup. Kasumi hurried on before
either of them could interrupt her.
"I know what you're thinking. 'Kasumi would NEVER do something like
that!' Well I would, and I did! I followed them all the way home.
Auntie tried to talk once, but Uncle Saotome wouldn't let her. When
they got to the house I sneaked around to the window and listened to
them. They were having an argument."
"What about?"
Misty (imitating Kasumi): Something about whether Jugglypuffs are just
Juggly or just a lot of Puff...
Ranma: Yes, issues that divided a household...
"Hush, Ranma, and I'll tell you."
Kasumi paused long enough to pour tea for the three of them, and
continued.
"Auntie was very angry. She wanted to know why she had to be the one
to talk Father into breaking the engagement, when it was Uncle
Saotome's idea. She said we would all hate her, when it wasn't her
fault."
Ranma was visibly shaken. "It was Pop's idea? And I've been blaming
Mom?"
Akane: Um...Ranma...would you like Panda steaks tonight or tomorrow
night?
Ranma: Akane! You know I can't think on an empty stomache! Of course
tonight!
"Yes. I was as surprised as you are. But that was nothing compared
to how I felt when Uncle Saotome kept talking. Akane, this is going
to upset you. Please try to stay calm."
One deep breath later, Kasumi continued. "He said that he never liked
Akane, but that he allowed the engagement for two reasons: One, that
Akane was the only martial artist out of the three of us. Two, he
could tell that Ranma had feelings for her. I wanted to go through
the window and kill him."
Ukyou: So would the rest of us, sugar. So would the rest of us.
Akane: Ukyou! What are you doing here?
Ukyou: I'm Kami-sama's personal minster. I'm here to get And-chan and
Skuld-chan married.
Andrew (squinting): Married? Me?!
Ranma: Calm down, boy...(She squints, looking at Ukyou.) Say, Ucchan,
are you wearing a reverend's clothings? (Everyone else face-faults.)
Only shock prevented Ranma and Akane from responding.
"He said the promise to join the houses had to be kept, and Nabiki
would be the best choice. He thought she would be the perfect one to
keep the dojo solvent while Ranma taught. Auntie objected, because
she knows that Ranma and Nabiki don't love each other, but he told her
that didn't matter. He said all Nabiki had to do was provide him with
a grandchild, and once she'd done that it didn't matter how they got
along. I was still trying to get over that remark when he said that
if Ranma wasn't happy with her, he could take a mistress. Then he
started listing who would do--Ukyo, Shampoo, Kodachi. That was when I
turned around and went home. I felt sick."
Kasumi Tendou: Not to mention the fact that he hadn't taken a bath in
two days. He smelled like my last batch of sushi.
Akane: Kasumi! What are you doing here?
Kasumi: I heard someone mention Leroy-sama's name...
Andrew (to the camera): Okay, can we get some more men in here?!
Skuld: Sorry, the top level of heaven is reserved for women only. (She
grabs Andrew.)
Andrew: Hey! Where are you going?
Skuld: We gotta get your tux ready...
Andrew: WHAT?! (He faints.)
By this time Akane was so distraught that she was shaking. Ranma put
an arm around her for comfort, while trying to keep his own rage down
below the boiling point.
"Uncle never did answer Auntie's question about why he wanted everyone
to think it was her idea to break the engagement, but I think I
figured it out myself. He doesn't want Father to be angry at him."
Ranma nodded. "You might be right. But why didn't Nabiki tell us
about this yesterday?"
"I didn't get to tell her until last night."
"What did she say?"
A-ko: "Loose lips sink ships."
Kei: "We have yet begun to fight."
Mokona: "Pu."
Misty: "Prepare for Trouble...and make it Double."
Washu: "Is that your Final Answer?"
Lina: "Nuts!"
Ranma: "Ranma no Baka." (Everyone looks at Ranma. She grins.) Hey, I
always wanted to say that.
Kasumi looked a little worried. "She was quiet for a very long time,
and then she smiled, a scary kind of smile. She told me that she had
an idea, but that she wanted to think it through for a while. All I
can tell you is that if I were Uncle Saotome, I'd be scared to death
right now."
Nene: I hope it involves fish sticks, a tortoise, and 1000 kilograms of
manure.
Kei: I don't know what you and Mackie do in bed...
Nene: For god's sake! Do you really think I would have already done the
guy?!
*****
"Pop shouldn't be scared of Nabiki. He should be scared of me."
Ranma's hands closed around his teacup with such force that it was in
danger of shattering from the pressure.
"Not if I can get to him first," growled Akane.
Kasumi: Little do they know that Nabiki has a black belt in killing.
Akane: Oneechan...that sounds so lame.
Kasumi: Well, she's Lara Croft's personal trainer...I suppose that means
something.
Ranma's first thought as he looked at his fiancee was relief that her
anger wasn't directed at him this time. He had never, ever seen her
this furious before. For a split second he felt some sympathy for his
father, but that was quickly dismissed. Whatever was going to happen
to the old man would be no more than he deserved.
"No."
Though the one word was spoken quite softly, it was enough to capture
Ranma's attention. He put the teacup down and looked at Kasumi.
"No?"
Washu (imitating Kasumi): Sorry, I was thinking about what I would say
if Publisher's Clearing House came with the $21 million dollar first
place prize...
"I don't want either of you to do anything until we talk to Nabiki."
"But--"
"Listen to me!"
Ranma gulped. He wasn't used to this kind of behavior from Kasumi. A
glance at Akane showed that she was equally shocked.
Kei: You should see her with her policewoman gear on.
Nene: Along with some mice, chocolate sauce, and a horde of Pikachus.
Misty: Really? Ash and I did that last weekend! (Everyone starts to
scoot away from Misty.)
Andrew: Seriously, through, I am a bit shocked by this, not surprised,
but shocked none of the less. (Everyone turns around to see Andrew in a
$25,000 baby blue tuxedo.) Don't breathe on it, or else I have to pay
for the damages.
(Everyone starts to laugh at him.)
Ranma: OH, man...that's the best they have to offer?!
Andrew: You should see Skuld's dress. (He blushes.) It makes those Vegas
girls look like puritans.
"The two of you have too much at risk to start trouble now! Ranma, if
you or Akane let it slip that you know what's going on, they're going
to separate you, I'm sure of it! Take care of the most important
thing first--get married. I'm sure Nabiki's making some kind of plans
for how to handle the family, and if the four of us work together
we'll be okay."
Nene (imitating Nabiki): Say, oneechan, are you pondering what I'm
pondering?
Kei (imitating Kasumi): I think so, sister, but isn't it too late to
pick the New Orleans Saints to win Superbowl XXXV?
Working with Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane was a new concept to Ranma. All
he wanted to do was pound his father into dust, but Kasumi's argument
that it would do more harm than good was beginning to sink in.
Andrew: Heck, working *in general* was a new concept for Ranma.
Akane: And I worry about you becoming an insurance agent, Ranma.
Ranma: Hey, who knows more about collateral damages than me?
Washu: Good point.
There were a lot of things he needed to think about, and he needed to
do it privately. Ranma picked up his bowl, drank the rest of his
soup, and got out of bed.
"I'm going for a walk. You two can have some girl talk."
Akane: So...what should we talk about?
Kasumi: Do you think anyone can beat out New Zealand for the America's
Cup?
*****
"What's wrong with him?" asked Akane.
"Don't you think he has the right to be upset right now?"
Akane shook her head. "Yes, but that's not what I mean. I think he's
got something on his mind."
Andrew: He needs to find an okonomiyaki place, and bad.
"Really? I didn't notice."
"I did."
"That's probably because you know Ranma better than any of us."
Kasumi paused, and smiled. "I don't think Ranma left us alone to talk
about him. You look so much better today! How do you feel?"
"I still hurt a lot, but don't you DARE tell Ranma!"
"Is he fussing over you?"
"Yes. It's not that I don't like it, but..."
"But?" Kasumi encouraged Akane with a smile.
"I'm not used to it. He's being so nice to me."
Akane paused, and then the words came tumbling out.
"I'm scared, Kasumi. Everything's happening so fast. First the
wedding, and the f-fire. Ranma asked the priest to marry us in the
ambulance, but why did he?"
Kasumi neatly turned the question around. "Why did you say yes?"
"I was so scared," Akane whispered. "I was sure that I was going to
die. I wanted to be Ranma's wife before it was too late."
"And how do you feel about it now? Do you still want to marry him?"
"More than anything. I love him. But I'm tired. Kasumi."
Everyone: Awww...
Lina (sobbing): It's so tragic!!!
Washu: What, the near catastrophe?
Lina: No, they ruined a perfectly good wedding reception!!! (She blows
her nose and sobs some more.)
Ranma: Yeah, and we had no insurance...
Kasumi got up and sat on the edge of her sister's bed. She gently put
her arm around Akane's shoulders. "That doesn't hurt, does it?"
"Not enough to matter."
"If you're that tired, do you want me to go home so you can nap?"
"No. Not that kind of tired."
Akane began to sniffle. "I'm tired of this mess! I want my life to
be normal! And...and...I'm not sure..." Akane trained off, unsure of
how to explain to Kasumi what she was feeling.
"You're not sure about Ranma, are you?"
"No," she whispered. "He keeps telling me that he loves me, but--"
Akane bit her lip and closed her eyes. This was harder than she
thought it would be. "I'm afraid that he's just sorry for me."
Akane's sniffles turned into full-blown weeping, and Kasumi gathered
her little sister into her arms and let her cry herself out.
Mokona: Pu?
Ranma (groaning): Yep, a typical Tendou.
Akane: Hey, sweeto, if you're so manly, then why did we have to get a
unisex tuxedo, huh?
"You're going to have to talk to him, Akane. You can't marry Ranma
with doubts like these. But if you want MY opinion, he wants exactly
what you do. I've been watching him, and I think he's as tired of
this mess as you are." Kasumi smiled as Akane sat up again, looking a
lot more positive than she had a few minutes before.
"You really think so? Sometimes I think the only way we'll get any
peace is if we ran off together."
"So why don't you?"
"KASUMI?"
A-ko: Yeah...I hear Las Vegas is nice this time of year.
Kasumi laughed. "I'm not telling you to run away forever. After all,
the house is going to belong to you and Ranma, right? And you do
intend to teach together, don't you?"
"We've never talked about it."
"Then I suggest that you do. Nabiki is doing everything she can to
get you two married, but you'd better not take that step unless you're
absolutely sure you're doing the right thing."
Kei (imitating Kasumi): Which means you'd better make up your minds
before episode 82!
Andrew: Eighty-two?!
Kei: You've obviously haven't seen June's masterpiece, "Travel,
Training, and Tourism." She loves to break up her fics into little
itty-bitty pieces.
Kasumi got up and began to gather the dishes together and pack them
up.
"I'm going to leave you alone now, but I want you to think about
something. Try to figure out what your life would be like with Ranma
in it, and what it would be like without him. Then I want you two to
talk."
"I will. I promise."
*****
Ranma walked down the hallway until he reached the sitting room. It
was normally used for visitors who needed a place to rest, and he was
relieved to find it empty.
Everything was happening at once, and much too fast. He needed to
catch his breath, and think. He plugged his IV pump into an outlet
next to one of the couches, and sat down.
Images of the past few days flooded his mind, starting with the battle
at Jusendo, where he nearly lost Akane, and ending with the fire,
where he nearly lost her again. So much fighting, so much insanity.
Would it ever end?
Misty: Magic 8-ball said, "Does Shampoo meow?"
Right now he was very worried about Akane. He'd never seen her so
fragile. He had always admired her strength, even if it was directed
against him in the form of violence when she got angry. Now he barely
recognized her as the Akane he loved. She'd shown a couple of sparks
of her old self, first with her insistence on walking to the bathroom
on her own, and second with her display of anger when she discovered
the old man's true feelings about her. Hopefully, that meant she
would get better. Her quietness and bouts of weeping were scaring
him, especially since she was trying to hide some of her crying from
him by waiting until she thought him asleep.
Andrew: I'd rather hear this from Ranma himself.
Ranma: You mean like, "Where's that old tomboy spirit? I mean I saw
flashes of it when she's tryin' to walk, but now she's more like her
damn wailing father than the ol' tomboy..."
Andrew: Yeah...
Ranma: Hmm...what is it about me and tomboys, huh?
Andrew: You're telling me, I'm marrying to the Goddess of Tomboys...
Akane: Aaaannnddreeeww no baka!!! (Akane promptly mallets Andrew so
hard, he sees red hearts, orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers,
blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes. Akanes blinks for a moment.)
Ranma, dear, remind me not to by "Lucky Charms" next time, okay?
Ranma (big-sweating): Um, sure sweety?
Ranma closed his eyes and forced himself to keep going. There was
something that bothered him more than anything else, and he was having
trouble facing it.
Would Akane be better off with him, or without him? He wanted her,
more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life.
"Yeah, and look where that's gotten us," he murmured. "We've had
nothing but trouble."
Nothing but trouble, but did it have to be that way? Maybe he should
just take her away somewhere quiet, where they could start all over.
"Sure, the famous Saotome-running-away trick. Damn it, Ranma, you're
a coward!" [And if anyone comes in here and finds me talking to
myself, they'll think I'm crazy.]
No. It was time to ask Akane what she really thought. If she wanted
to be with him, then they had to be strong. Together. Ranma knew
that there would always be a new challenge--to him, to Akane, or to
the dojo. That meant Akane had to be willing to live with the
unexpected. Was she willing? Again, he had to ask, or he would never
know.
Ranma opened the door and bumped directly into Kasumi.
"Sorry! Did I hurt you?"
Nene (imitating Ranma): Gee, are you wearin' Ukyou's metal bindings or
somethin'? Nearly took my eye out!
Kasumi shook her head. "No, I'm okay. Are you?"
Ranma nodded. "You're leaving already?"
"I'll come back tonight, with Father." Kasumi hesitated, then put her
hand on Ranma's arm.
"I think you and Akane need to talk."
Kasumi: She thinks that you need a stock broker.
Ranma: Um...wait...what's a stock?
"I know, but I'm no good at that! I always say the wrong thing, and
then we fight."
Kasumi dragged Ranma back into the sitting room. "Do you love my
sister?"
A-ko (imitating Ranma): Um, can I get back to ya in three weeks?
Ranma turned bright red, and nodded.
"Then you'd better learn to talk to her, or you won't have ANY chance
of a future together!"
Before Ranma could recover enough to respond, Kasumi turned around and
walked out.
Ranma returned to the couch and thought some more.
Washu: Boy, Ranma done more thinking in this episode than in all
thirty-eight episodes of the original thing.
Ranma: Hey, I'm not that stupid!
Even if she hadn't
said so, Kasumi thought he and Akane should be together. The way he
was healing, Ranma knew that he would be out of the hospital long
before Akane was.
That was when the pressure would start. His father would probably
tell him about his engagement to Nabiki the second he got home.
Skuld (walking in): Heck, if Genma was smart, he'd would have told them
an hour from now.
Andrew: Ack! That dress! (We can't see the dress, cause it would be
X-rated.)
Misty: Man...a see through wedding dress?
Skuld: Aw, man...say, Daddy, who's designed this dress?
Kami-sama: Oh, some old man named Happousai. (Everyone flips out.)
Andrew: WHAT?! Happousai's a tailor?!
Kami-sama: Well, what did you think he'd did with the panties. That
dress is made from 100% recyclable satin panties. (Skuld wields out her
mallet.)
Skuld: Daddy...I don't care 'bout the dress, and the Blue tux was a
little out of line, I don't care how Elvis owed you a favor...we want
better dresses now!
Kami-sama (sigh): I try to please everyone...
If things worked as planned, he and Akane would be married by then.
Somehow they had to keep that a secret until she got out of the
hospital.
What then? If they walked into the house and announced that they were
married, all hell would break loose. His father would probably try to
get it annulled.
[I can't figure it out. Kasumi's right--we need Nabiki to help us out
here. But I still have to talk to Akane.]
*****
Akane opened her jar of salve and began applying it. It was nearly
empty, but Shampoo was due later in the day with more.
A-ko: Tiger balm, made from real Tiger pen-- (Hikaru covers her mouth.)
Hikaru: Um, that's not really necessary, A-ko.
Mokona: Pu? (Hikaru rolls her eyes.)
Hikaru: NO, we don't want you to show us that! I mean, wasn't last night
enough?
Kasumi had given her a lot to think about. She had to face the fact
that loving Ranma Saotome was not something a coward could do.
Trouble was something that had always followed Ranma, and it was
unlikely that it would ever be different.
Could she live with it? Kasumi had advised her to think about both
alternatives. Maybe she should start with the other. Could she live
without it...without Ranma?
Her imagination began to take over. A life in an undamaged house,
where no enemies were breaking holes in the walls. Being able to walk
down the street without someone screaming "Die, Ranma!" or attacking
her because of her engagement to him.
Coming home to a house without the most important person in her life
there. Opening the door to the guest room to find it empty.
She forced her mind away from the image and began to think again.
What about school? School. An image of the crowd of boys at the
gates, the way it used to be, made Akane cringe.
Then she looked at herself. She was in the middle of rubbing salve
into her arms. The blisters had gone down, leaving her with red
wrinkled areas where they had been. The skin was thin and sensitive,
and she had to exercise extreme care when she applied the medicine.
Akane (reading the label): Warning! Over use of this salve will cause
you to develop a bushy tail and to start speaking in Swedish, and having
an indescrible lust for chicken. Oh, yeah, you'll also become tall,
blonde, blue-eyed, unimangiably beautiful, Herculean strong, and dumb.
(Lina leans over and looks at the bottle of salve.)
Lina: Does it mention anything about increased breast size?
What would she look like when the burns finally healed? Perhaps she
would be so ugly that none of the boys would even bother chasing her.
Ranma had said she looked better. He'd said that she was HIS Akane,
and he didn't care about the burns. He'd said he loved her. Was that
the truth, or was he saying it to make her feel better?
Hikaru: He was probably saying it to make him feel better.
Akane wiped the back of her hand across her stinging eyes. Ranma had
to be telling the truth. He was the worst liar she knew.
As far as Akane could see, being without Ranma meant being pretty
miserable. What about being with him?
Unless Ranma could do something to change it, he was going to have
trouble with girls. He just seemed to attract them, even though he
didn't try to. Akane could finally admit that to herself. Ranma
didn't chase girls. They chased him.
Shampoo and Ukyo had finally gotten the message. As far as Kodachi
was concerned, Akane still expected trouble from her. That slap might
discourage her for a day or two, but she'd be back.
Would it be different once they were married? Akane knew that a
wedding ring on a man's finger made him even more desirable to some
girls. She involuntarily made a fist. If anyone came near her
husband...
Andrew: WHAT? You mean I'd have MORE problems?
Skuld: That's not a problem...at least not around here. Everyone is
pretty much married except us three original three.
Andrew: You mean Keiichi and Belldandy aren't married yet?
Skuld: Belldandy like to see us three girls get married at the same
time, and she'd like to wait for Urd to get hooked, so she's getting Urd
married to the highest bidder on eBay...so far, the highest bid has been
Andorra. They'd sell their entire kingdom for her.
Husband. Was that what she really wanted? Ranma for a husband? What
would it be like?
Akane pictured herself living in her home, with Ranma. Once they
finished school Ranma might want to begin teaching with her. Then
again, he'd spent so much time as a wandering martial artist he might
wish to do that again. If so, would he want her to go with him?
Would she want to go?
Lina: Would ya stop thinking, for once? I think it's pretty clear!
Andrew: Yeah, you might want to cut this down a tad, or at least let us
hear her say all of this.
What about all the enemies Ranma had made through the years? Akane
had become accustomed to the strangest people showing up on the
doorstep, looking for a fight, and if they weren't showing up at the
dojo, they were attacking Ukyo or Shampoo, and Ranma felt obligated to
step in. She expected he'd always be that way--ready to help where he
was needed.
Akane forced herself to look at that honestly. She would be
disappointed in Ranma if he didn't help, and in herself if she didn't
do what she could to help too.
The more she looked at both options, the more she realized that she
would take Ranma, craziness and all, over being alone.
Now if she could find the courage to tell him, and to ask him what he
truly felt.
There was a sound at the door and Akane looked up, expecting to see
Ranma. Instead, a pleasant-looking woman stood there.
"Hello, Akane. I'm Miki. Can I come in?"
Nene (screaming): Look out, Akane! She's been hired by Genma to kill
ya!!!
A-ko (snorting): You really think so? This woman rarely puts in a lime
scene, for god's sake.
Andrew: Actually, I don't mind the fact that she doesn't add any
gratituous sex. Sex anime scenes are really hard to do very well.
*****
Ranma saw a woman entering his and Akane's room as he was coming down
the hallway. When he got to the doorway, the woman was taking a chair
next to his fiancee.
"Hello. You must be Ranma. My name is Miki."
"Are you the burn counselor the doctor told me about?"
Hikaru (imitating Miki): Yes, but I really want to talk to your burns,
and see how they're feeling.
Miki nodded. Ranma wheeled his IV stand over to the bedside, plugged
it in, and got into bed. Akane just sat there looking confused.
"You knew about her, Ranma? The doctor didn't mention this to me."
"This was after they sedated you last night, Akane."
Ukyou: That would explain the four broken mallets in the corner of the
room.
"Oh." For a second, Akane felt the stirrings of anger because Ranma
hadn't told her about the fact that a counselor was coming to see
them. Then she forced herself to be sensible about it. Maybe she
needed to talk to a professional.
"I don't know where to start."
A-ko (imitiating Miki): Well...why don't we start with "Wedding
Disasters for $500."
"That's all right. Your doctor told me that you were concerned about
how you look. Is that right?"
Akane nodded mutely. Ranma though she was going to cry.
"I know this isn't much to go by, but I want to show you something."
Miki rolled up her left sleeve, and pointed to a mark on her forearm.
It was a pale brown mark a couple of inches long.
Luna (imitating Ranma): Cool! You were a drug pusher, weren't you!
"I went into counseling a few years ago, and have talked to a lot of
burn victims. My training taught me a lot, but I didn't know all of
the truth about the pain you go through until I burned myself."
Hikaru: Alas, she was the one who burned herself putting up the last of
the lights, while the French were testing their Millienium fireworks
display...
Akane took a closer look at the mark, and Ranma leaned over to see it.
"That doesn't look so bad," he remarked. "How long ago did you burn
yourself?"
"About nine months. I was draining a pot of noodles, and the phone
rang. I turned my head to look at it, and my forearm touched the side
of the pot."
Andrew (imitating Miki): And then my arm fell off. They had to graph it
with one from the morgue. See all the pretty stitches?
Akane winced. "Ouch."
"Yes. I ran cold water on it for a long time, but it blistered
anyway. What I couldn't believe was how such a small burn could hurt
so much! Eventually the blister shrank, but I was left with ripples
on the skin---much like the ones the two of you have. I had to be
very careful of it, because the skin was so delicate. Besides that,
it itched and I had to try very hard not to scratch it."
Both Ranma and Akane nodded. They knew exactly what Miki meant.
"Eventually I began to heal. I watched the burn very carefully,
because I wanted to see how long it would take to fade. You can
barely see it now, but it's fading so slowly I expect it will be
around for a couple of months more."
Akane looked at herself, and then at Miki. "So I'm going to look
really bad for at least a year..." Her words trailed off and she
turned away.
Akane: Actually, Animes girls rarely look bad.
Misty: Unless your name is Jessie.
[Oh no,] thought Ranma. [Here we go again.] He leaned over to Akane,
and gently touched her arm.
"Akane, turn around. Please."
He held his breath, hoping she would listen. A few seconds later
Akane turned around.
"I told you I didn't care about the burns. They're going to get
better."
Ranma: Besides, think of all the little kiddies you can scare in the
neighborhood! (Akane promptly whaps Ranma.)
"People are going to stare at me."
"Let em! That's THEIR problem!"
Miki tried to suppress her giggle, but wasn't quite successful.
"Akane, with Ranma here you don't need me! That's exactly what I was
going to say. I talked with your doctor, and he said the both of you
are doing just fine. You need to be positive, and you need to be
patient. Will you?"
Ranma breathed a sigh of relief when Akane responded. "I'll try."
"Tomorrow I'd like to introduce you to a couple of my other patients.
I think it would do you good."
"Are you going to bring them here?"
"No, Akane. You're going to visit them."
Ranma saw Akane go white.
"I don't want to."
Hikaru (imitating Akane): My baka's father is suppose to kill us in a
day or so disguised as a panda with a hook for a claw...
Mokona: Pu, pu?
Hikaru: Okay...I've already seen "Scream 3". (grumbling) Lame-o movie...
"You don't want to see them?"
"No. I don't want to go out of the room."
Miki gently patted Akane's hand. "You can't hide in here forever.
Don't be afraid, Akane."
"Ranma? You'll come with me?"
"Of course I will! Did you think I'd let you out of my sight?"
"Then I'll come."
Ranma didn't miss the look of gratitude from Miki as she got up.
"I'll make the arrangements, then. See the both of you tomorrow."
Her footsteps had barely died away when both Ranma and Akane spoke at
the same time.
"We need to talk."
Ranma: But not until episode 38.
Comments welcome, as always - public, private or both
karaohki@snet.net
read earlier chapters at www.karaohki.com
Andrew: You can't miss it, it's the orange carrot page with all of those
cabbits on it!
Ranma: Say, speaking of cabbits, I wonder what Ryouga and Ryo-oh-ki are
doing?
(We quickly cut to Ryouga and a humanized Ryo-oh-ki sunbathing on a
perfectly cool tropical island. Ryo-oh-ki is "comforting" the bandana
boy. Ryouga looks up and sees Nabiki Tendou in a really cool looking
two-piece bikini on a very large Yacht. He holds up a large wine glass
of chardinay. She holds up her glass, while her other arm is wrapped
around Mr. Kuno.)
Ryouga (joyful shout): Looking good Nabiki!
Nabiki (really joyful shout): Feeling good, P-chan!
(We switch back to heaven. Akane and Kasumi are shocked.)
Akane & Kasumi: Son of a bitch...
Ranma (who looks damn surprised): H-h-how d-d-did he get the leading
role of "Trading Places?!"
Thanks to everyone who read and commented on this as it was being
written:
Andrew, Robert, Vince, Scott, and Brad
Andrew: Wow! She mentioned my name!
Skuld: Actually, I think she was refering to Andrew Hwang. (Andrew looks
down crestfallen.)
--
Andrew: Okay...comments!
Ranma: Pretty good, made me look pretty good.
Akane: I still think that bathroom scene made me look silly!
Andrew: But you're not going to pound the girl, I mean, you might be
swimming with the fishies.
Akane: Boy, let me show you what I can do with concrete shoes...
Lina: Well, I think the fic is pretty good, but lacks the flair she's
shown in other fics.
Luna: Well, sis, keep in mind, this is just a bridge for bigger and
better events in the future. Now if she keeps the foreshadowing down to
a minimual, I think she'd have a great fic.
Andrew: Anyone else? (A brief moment of silence.) Okay, overall a really
good fic with no visible spelling or gramatical problems that I saw. Of
course, I'm the guy that lost to Dan Quayle in a spelling bee. (He
sighs.)
*******************************************
(We return to the stable with Skuld, Andrew, and Kami-sama.)
Kami-sama: Now...let me go over the agreement once again. If, in the
future, there would be an imminent break-up, Andrew would recieve the
house, the car, the kids, the summer house, and the swimming pool. Skuld
recieves all of the ice cream and the Crown Royale. Deal?
Andrew: Um, sure. (Skuld pumps her fists.)
Skuld: Yess!!!
Kami-sama: Great. Sign here. Now you do know that I forbid divorces.
Andrew (wide-eyed): So this was useless.
Kami-sama: Nah, I just wanted to test ya. Kid, you're going to make a
great son-in-law. Oh, wait. (Kami-sama pulls out a pogo-stick, he starts
to hop on it.) NOW, you're going to make a great son-in-law! Son-in-law,
let me show you around heaven. Follow me... (Kami-sama pogos his way off
to the right, and Andrew sighs.)
Andrew: If this is heaven, I don't wanna know hell...(Andrew miserably
walks off after God.)
Skuld (sighing): Wait until the actual wedding day, Drew. It gets worse.
*********************************************
Will Andrew and Skuld's wedding make Akane & Ranma's wedding look like a
minor skirmish? Will Kami-sama start to think he's Cologne? Will Andrew
chicken out at the last moment? Heck, he can't chicken out...where can
he hide? Tune in next time in our next installment of...
RED-HEAD MST...