***
parT 4
"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
-Aristotle
***
There she is.
I didn't think I'd ever see her again, but just a few seconds ago she
appeared through the mist, giving me the same expression I'm giving her. I
feel like I should say something, but I don't know what. I can tell she
wants to too, but we just can't think of anything. I guess we already know
what the other is thinking.
I know. I know everything she knows, and vice versa. I can see now that
we'll always be something less to one another, something that's not quite
whole. Maybe we would be better off without each other, but at the same
time, we ARE one another. This hurts too much to think about.
I want to end this, to lock us away from the world and just forget that any
of this happened. I want to know that I'll never be forced to be strong or
weak or anything ever again. I'm tired of living up to other people's ideals
about what I should be. I just want to get on with it, to know that it truly
is over. She does too, I know it.
That's why she's here.
When Sasami destroyed the demon inside of us, I realized that the magic was
merely something that had been inside of us from the beginning. I saw
myself, free for the first time, yet already giving up what had been won. I
think we both knew that this wasn't the way to go.
Misa is Misao and Misao is Misa. Where one is strong, the other is weak.
Where one would go forward, the other lingers behind. I don't want to be a
part of this anymore. If I go forward or backwards, I want it to be a choice
that this me would make, not that one.
It feels odd, knowing that I'll never see her again. Granted, she is a part
of me, but that doesn't mean that we're not as separate as we are equal.
After this, we as a we will never exist again. Well, at least not as we know
how to exist. We finally admitted the truth about who we were, but that fact
still frightens me. It's kind of funny, though. I never thought we'd part
ways by joining in such a fashion. Still…
I can't help but wonder though, as we go our "separate ways", if she doesn't
feel bad about this. There was a time long ago when we needed this
relationship to be strong, to be happy. I'm not sure if we will be or not,
but I know that this is for the best.
"Who is Pixy Misa?"
Who said that? Was it her? Me? I'm not sure. I move to answer, but all I
can do is look at the person across from me. I suddenly realize that I can't
tell us apart anymore. I don't know which one is which, but I do know this;
the act has been dropped. No more, "I'm better than you are" being tossed
back and forth. There is no "better". We are we, and that is all that
matters now.
I look to her, and I know that she knows the answer just as well as I do. I
think we just had to figure it out for ourselves. We open our mouths, and
both say in a single voice,
"She is me, and I am her."
Around us, the darkness feels as close as ever. I see her fading away, her
outline becoming dim in mist that wasn't there a moment ago. I don't want to
leave her, but I think that this might be the best course of action. She was
something less than myself after all, but on the other hand, I am something
less of her as well.
With a breath, she's gone from sight.
I'd say I'd miss her, but in the end, she's right here, after all.
"See you soon…"
***
Pixy Misa, Misao Amano, Pretty Sammy and Sasami belong to Pioneer, TV Tokyo
and AIC
All C&C should go to BGlanders@aol.com