Okay! Trebane's back, but its not with anything continued. Dragon and Wyrm Syndrom (for those of you who care) await more information, so I just pulled this little fellow outta a hat somewhere. This is an interesting piece, still in maybe a post-draft form, that I think some people out there will enjoy.
Those who care about Ranma fanfics anymore.
And besides, I don't do dark stuff.
*sigh*
One last warning... this is niether a WAFFY fic... hopefully... nor is it a _dark_ fic, hence the lack of tags. And its a viable fic, so its not a spam. Hell, I might even continue with this (I doubt it).
It takes place maybe a few weeks after all that marriage crap after the end of the manga.
Ranma laughed nervously, "What's goin' on, doc?"
Tofu said nothing, merely continuing to study the clipboard.
Ranma looked at the door, where behind Akane most likely stood, awaiting the
doctor's permission to enter the room. "Ya told me you had somethin' important to say."
"Yes, I did." Tofu said abruptly, "Ranma I have both good new and bad news
about your curse. The good news is the change is only external, barring some
physiological changes. You have no female reproductive organs, meaning you'll never
get pregnant."
"Really?" Ranma grinned, "That's great doc!"
Not responding to Ranma's enthusiasm, Tofu continued, "That brings us to the
real topic of discussion. It seems, Ranma, that the curse has made several other
physiological changes to your male body."
"Huh?"
"I studied the semen sample and..." He sighed, covering his forehead with one
hand, "Oh Ranma, I don't want to say this..."
"Doc..." Ranma ignored the cold feeling rising in his chest, "Uh... what is it?"
"The sperm count in the semen was zero percent. All it was, was fluid. The
reproductive elements in your body have very nearly shut down."
"But I..."
"Ranma, I'm..."
"I'm... sterile?"
"...sorry." Tofu turned his head away from his young charge. "I suggest... that
you tell your family. Just because you can't... have... children, there are plenty you could
adopt."
"But..." Ranma heaved a big breath, "Doc..." He heaved himself to his feet, "I...
I better go tell everyone..."
"Ranma, I'm..."
"I know." The young martial artist interrupted, " 'Sorry'" He walked out the
door.
"...and so that's it," Ranma slowly finished, looking about at his friends.
Those first few surprising moments was all it took for Silence to step forward. He reigned
supreme for only a few minutes. What was even more surprising was the lack of chaos
that followed those few, precious minutes. His power was diminished by the soft
sobbing of Shampoo, who held her head between palms, weeping with true pain.
Cologne was the first to speak, "I... I cannot allow my grand-daughter to marry
you without the guarantee of strong heirs, Saotome. I am old, and Shampoo is the heir to
my strength," She shook her head slowly, "We will depart soon for China."
As they turned to leave, Mousse looked at Ranma, "S....Saotome, I'm... well, you
know how I feel."
Ryouga sat gazing at his napkin, slowly clenching it and unclenching it, although
not with anger. When he spoke, raw pain sounded in voice, "Gods.... and I thought I was
cursed. To not... not be able to..." He closed his eyes, picturing Akari's face. To not be
able to love her like a man... torture... pure torture. He glanced up, and around the table,
his gaze settling on Ukyou, who was nervously rubbing at spatula-shuriken with her
thumb. Without a single word to Ranma, she suddenly rose to her feet and left as well.
"I'm losing all my friends," Ranma whispered softly to himself, watching the
Kuonji depart.
"Not all, Ranma," Ryouga said, "I'm still here... and Ukyou just needs time.
Time to adjust."
Quietly, unlike his normally fierce self, Ranma nodded.
"Where are the Tendos and your mom and dad?"
"I... I'm gonna tell them later."
Ryouga finally succeeded in tearing the napkin into composite atoms, sighed,
and grabbed a bandanna, "I see."
"You're being awfully calm, Ryouga."
"Aka...Akari asked me to marry her again," Damn... there goes a bandanna...
"I... was thinking about saying yes this time."
Ranma blinked, "Oh?"
"And... when I saw ya on the street earlier... I was gonna ask ya to..."
"I'd like to come."
"Uh... more than that, pal." Ryouga suddenly grinned, "We're havin' a western
ceremony 'cause Akari likes the dressed..."
Ranma started, "You want me to be best man?"
"Hell no," Ryouga grinned, "I want you to be maid of honour!"
"WHY YOU! C'mere P-chan!"
"Who you callin' P-chan, fem-boy!"
Ranma blinked, "That's what Pantyhose calls me!"
"Hey," Ryouga shrugged "Its a good insult. Why mess with it?"
Ranma sat, twisting a borrowed bandanna in his hands, gazing nervously at his
family. Slowly, speaking past an unnaturally large boulder that had somehow made its
way down his throat (probably from that last fight with Ryouga), he said, "I... uh... betcha
you're all wondering why I asked ya'll to come here..." He glanced around the table,
finally settling on Akane, who sat next to him looking just as nervous as he felt.
"That's a smart deduction, Ranma," Nabiki grinned.
"Its... uh... about me an' Akane's engagement..."
Soun and Genma scowled. Nodoka's eyes darkened, but she remained silent as
Genma said sternly, "You aren't thinking about breaking it off, boy?"
"Hey! It ain't like that... its just... after what I say..." he cast a glance at Akane,
"She... uh... might not want to marry me."
"That's a first," Nabiki snorted.
"Hush, Nabiki," Kasumi admonished. "Ranma... what is bothering you? We're
your family, we'll try to understand, alright?"
"O...okay Kasumi. Its just that, well... ya see... I talked to the doc earlier
today..." he noticed faint blush and smile, "and he told me somethin' about my curse.
Apparently it only affects those with the girl curse, 'cause he ran the same tests on pops
and Ryouga..."
"Oh..." Genma nodded with a slight coloring, "Yes..."
"And I'm... I'm sterile."
Silence reigned once more with a stern hand, before giving the scepter of office
to Soun, who was the first to speak.
"Genma... old friend... your son is..."
"Ranma, does this truly mean that you cannot have..." Nodoka stuttered.
"Boy, you've done it now!" Genma shouted, "How can there be a marriage..."
"Indeed," Soun started, "We'll have to call it off..."
"I want to marry you, Ranma."
Silence gleefully snatched the scepter back and brandished it like a instrument of
power. Suddenly, he tripped and the scepter flew and hit Ranma on his head. Silence
pouted for a moment before readying himself once more to leap forth and grab it.
"You...."
"We can always adopt... and we'd have to anyway," tears began to make their
way down her cheeks. "I can't have kids, either! I... my... they're filled with scare tissue...
and..."
"Woah!" Nabiki shouted, "You're telling me you're both sterile... Ranma 'cause
of the curse, and Akane..."
"I had an accident a few years ago... and all that's left of my ovaries is scar tissue.
I... still have my..." she blushed, glancing at Ranma, "but its not worth anything."
"So because of this, you're willing to marry Ranma so the two of you can adopt,
right?" Nabiki nodded slightly, "That can be arranged! And this gives you a great
opportunity for the future."
Genma and Soun glanced at one another, "So honour is restored..." "And our
children still wed..." "Tendo..." "Saotome..." "IT'S PERFECT!!"
Nodoka nodded, "You dealt with this in the proper manner, Ranma. Not hiding
it, but coming out with it directly. Now, no-one has been hurt."
"..."
"Ranma?" Akane softly put her hand on his, "Is everything all right?"
"No." He replied firmly, "No, everything is _not_ all right!"
Everyone looked at him, shocked.
"_I_ haven't asked her to marry me!" He got down on his knee before her.
"Tendo Akane, will you marry me even though we'll never have our own children? I... I...
lu...luhhh....love you..."
"I will!"
And a fated union was finally joined.
Tofu smiled pleasantly, pouring Nabiki another cup of tea as she continued,
"...genius, pure genius. I must congratulate you, Dr. Tofu on succeeding where I had
failed."
"Thank you, Nabiki." Tofu nodded, "It was my best..."
"You'll be pleased to know," she interrupted, "He's due the fifth of March."
The first of Akane's babies.
Ranma and Akane lived happily after that with their menagerie of children.
Despite Tofu's 'prediction' (which was merely a ploy to get the two together) they proved
to be _very_ fertile together, producing massive amounts of feisty Saotome children in no
time. Their marriage was blessed for the rest of their lives together, and they were the
happy parents of seventeen children.
Ryouga and Akari hit it off perfectly, but only had a single child who they
named Kijin.
Kasumi and Tofu eventually got married, and she proved just as fertile, is not more-so,
than Akane, bearing the lucky doctor twelve children, most twins or triplets. Nabiki hit it
off with a fellow from college who taught her... the finer arts of business....and she was, of
course, another rabbit in the Tendo family. She is currently the inspired and happy
mother of eight.
Shampoo was defeated by another stranger to the Amazon village, a martial
artist who, although blind, managed to easily defeat her and chose to stay in the village
_with_ her. Mousse managed to wander off somewhere, and was never heard from
again... although rumors abound about him being very happy with a goddess in southern
China.
Pantsuto Tarou never did get his name changed, but he found a young girl who
seemed to really like his name. She was the queen of a currently failing Amazon-ish tribe,
and with Tarou's help, he gave new life to the meaning to the Undergarment Amazons (a
sister tribe of the Joketsosuku).
Rouge relaxed in Switzerland amongst various well-knowing and well-doing
male masseuse therapists.
Happosai managed to somehow get himself trapped in an alternate dimension in
which women really enjoyed being... you know... by old men. He was in no hurry to be
rescued.
And poor Silence never did get his scepter back.
---
Fifty meters at full length,
Eyes of Cold Steel, scales of Black Night
Bane of those that haunt the Terroi
-Trebane; last of the Seraphim Dragons-
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