Like I said before, this is a good fic, it focuses mainly on the
relationship between Ranma and Akane and I like that. Your biggest
problem comes from either small spurts of OOC behaviour or
misinformation, or the fact that you never had it in the first place.
Both can be easily remedied by time and a little quality time watching
Anime. [To be honest the Ranma1/2 TV show sort of does a nose dive after
the first 3 seasons, stick with the manga.]
Little things like "Ryoga's steel lined umbrella." His umbrella is
probably not steel lined, it might be made of something other than
bamboo. It's too heavy for anyone but himself and Ranma to move around
easily, the boys watching the first fight couldn't even pick it up, that
alone suggests there's a little more to it.
I personally have a theory about it, it's full of heavy Ki. Ryoga spends
most of his time angry or depressed for one reason or another, it's
possible he leaked some of it out into his belongings. After all, it's
clear in the Shi shi houkou dan story line in vol. 20 that he had been
creating Heavy ki for some time before he learned it. He just had to
learn how to control it.
These things are really small problems that shouldn't bother most
casuall readers and don't detract from the story unless you know Ranma
1/2 really well; or have a pretty good knowledge of how the Japanese
clulture/honor system/language work. There is nothing major wrong with
the fic itself. A little research and some prodding on a few web sites is
all you really need.
If you don't want to spoil the story for yourself, fine! Enjoy Ranma as
it is and write fanfics that don't have anything to do with the later
chapters. [[One reason I often let the Ukyo + Ryoga pairing slide in
supposed 'cannon stories.']] I'm more interested than getting the
information out to people who don't know any better, if you willfully
chose to ignore something for your story, great. I was just making sure
that you were aware.
I enjoyed this fic and many others that people seemed to dislike because
things didn't flow exactly as Takahashi had written in stone tablets.
Come on guys, relax a little! This is supposed to be fun! This is what
fanfiction is all about, not merely what happend after the tale has
ended? but what if something else had occured instead? Or gee wouldn't it
be fun if I changed how this guy acts? And yes, even...I bet I could do a
better job if I was there!
BTW...In my last C&C post I was reffering to the scene where Ranma cuts
the dummy in half with his hand; not him jumping around so much. I just
cut a little too much off the scene.
P.S. I know I was ranting a little, but I wanted to get a point across
to the list, and I was already writing it so...
JA!
Carrot.