All right. I have a special request for any of
you who read this fic. If you are reading it then please
send me c&c on it. Because right now I'm honestly only
aware of six people who read this fic. If I'm going to
spend my free time writing this dinky thing it would be
nice knowing that someone enjoys it.
So, for the love of whoever, if you want me to
keep up with this fic just send me a comment already.
Now onto the fic. Sorry for whining.
Black Rose, Blue Thunder:
An Altered Destiny
By: Dreiser
Chapter Seventeen:
It's Raining Panties
It was a quiet day in the village of Joketsuzoku.
At least, it was quiet until a large group of male outsiders
arrived demanding to speak to Grocery Bag.
After a few moments, the meek and rather gaunt looking
farmer appeared before the outsider males with a look of definite
worry on his pale features. Not much for physical exertion,
Grocery Bag spent most of his time in the fields tending to the
vegetables there.
He was a botanist of sorts who loved to mill around in his
garden and come up with ways to improve the stock of their
vegetables and plants. Because of this, he was well respected in the
village despite his horrible lack of fighting skills. But then again, he
was a male. So why would they want him to be fighting anyway?
Warily staring at the group of outsider males who looked
more than a bit hostile, Grocery Bag said in very hesitant Japanese,
"You ask for me, yes? Need help?"
"No," said the boy leading the group. "What we need is to
ask you a question, Grocery Bag."
"Question?" Grocery Bag repeated.
"Yeah! A question!"
"You can't hide from us now!"
"We've finally found you, scum!"
"Man... check out his face. No wonder he was wearing
that paper bag over his head. Yuck."
"Dude, that's harsh. He's not that bad looking."
"I didn't know you swung that way, Koga."
"What?! I don't! I was only saying--"
Whirling around to face the other boys, their leader
shouted loudly, "Shut up you guys! I have to ask him the question,
remember?! We all agreed on this!"
"Oh yeah..."
"Sorry, Shiro."
"Yeah, we're sorry."
"We'll be good."
Coughing at this, Shiro turned to face Grocery Bag who
wore a wary look on his face. "Our question," began Shiro very
carefully. "Is quite simple, actually."
A long pause of silence passed before Grocery Bag
decided to bite the bullet and asked, "What is question?"
At this, all the boys gave a simultaneous chuckle that was
both low and disturbing.
Shivering now, Grocery Bag could barely look into the
eyes of the boys which were gleaming with an almost manic light as
they stared at him.
"The question is this," Shiro murmured as he took a slow
step towards Grocery Bag who instinctively backed away from the
other boy. "Do you want your body bag to be paper or plastic?"
"What?" Grocery Bag squeaked.
Instead of replying, the boys roared, "GET HIM!!"
That was when the harried pursuit of Grocery Bag began.
And for the life of him, the Amazon just couldn't figure out why
these outsiders were so angry with him.
He just hoped that somehow, he would end up surviving
their rather psychotic and pointless wrath.
Because for outsiders, and for males, they were more than
a bit scary. Even to a someone who was used to seeing the
extremely volatile tempers of Amazon females.
Which tells you just how bad the situation was.
---
Happosai was busy concentrating.
Busy concentrating on the mass of naked females that were
displayed before him through the small peephole he'd made into the
women's side of the public bath, that is.
And as far as Happosai was concerned there really wasn't
anything else he'd rather concentrate on.
But just as Happosai was really getting into his
concentrating a low rumble filled the air and the ground began to
shake in a somewhat ominous manner.
"Eh?" Happosai murmured as he reluctantly looked away
from the feast of female flesh before him.
That was when he was met with a sight that was almost as
appealing as the denizen of naked girls inside the bathhouse.
And what Happosai saw was around a thousand silky
panties flying directly at him at top speeds.
Could his day possibly get any better?
"Sweet!" cried Happosai while he bounded towards the
panties which continued on their thunderous path as they flew
towards him.
For the men who were watching the scene take place on
the bustling Nerima street they didn't know what exactly to pay
attention to. The dirty old man bounding towards the flying panties,
the hoard of flying panties itself, or the women whose panties were
flying off.
Most of them divided their attention between all three.
Well, at least until the dirty old man got swept up inside the
hoard of flying panties which continued on its strange path of panty
stealing destruction throughout all of Nerima.
Because honestly, who wouldn't pay attention to that?
---
"I can't believe she has me doing this," muttered Cologne
under her breath as she pogoed down the street holding a small
grocery bag in her arms. Forming a slight scowl she mimicked
Siren's voice and said, "Be a dear and fetch me some things won't
you Cologne-chan? After all, I have an apprentice to train while
you have the whole day free."
Ignoring the strange looks she was getting from the people
she passed on the street, Cologne continued in her griping as she
said, "As if I'm her personal servant! She hasn't changed in the
slightest. She's still the same sneaky, presumptuous, and--"
Before Cologne could say anything more her she felt her
dress fly up only to fall a second later, causing her to freeze. The
fact that her dress swept up wasn't what made her freeze rather it
was what was under the dress.
Or what WASN'T under the dress.
And... well... lets not even go there. Lets just say that we
all know very well what wasn't under her dress.
And lets just say that Cologne wasn't in the least bit happy
that it wasn't under her dress anymore.
In fact, one could even say she was enraged that it wasn't
under her dress anymore. Because, above all, one should
remember that Cologne is a woman.
A woman who didn't like having her panties stolen.
But then again, what woman likes that?
---
Ryoga was having a hard time walking.
The reason he was having a hard time walking was
because Nabiki had her arm hooked in his and was resting her
head just the tiniest bit on his strong shoulder.
All in all, this served to distract Ryoga mightily.
But not enough to keep him from noticing when a huge
hoard of panties went flying past him.
While the hoard of flying panties was a strange sight for
even Ryoga what he found most odd was the fact that the panties
were somehow shouting the word 'sweet' over and over in horribly
ecstatic tones.
"Wow," said Ryoga in shocked tones. "What do you
suppose that was all about, Nabiki-chan?"
When he didn't receive an immediate reply, Ryoga turned
to regard his iinazuke who wore what could only be described as a
dark and murderous look on her lovely features. On seeing it,
Ryoga jumped backwards, fearing that Nabiki had decided to take
back her forgiveness for his actions with Kuonji.
"N-N-Nabiki-chan?" stammered Ryoga. "What is it? Is
anything wrong? Did I say something to upset you?"
Nabiki's only response was a twitch of her forehead before
she roared, "HENTAI!!!"
Now thoroughly scared out of his wits, Ryoga did the only
thing that he could do under his current set of circumstances.
He passed out from sheer fright.
Leaving him unconscious as Nabiki chased after the hoard
of flying panties, thinking that they were her best lead for finding the
person that was responsible for her sudden lack of underwear.
The only thing that Nabiki was thankful for was the fact
that she just happened to be wearing a skirt today.
Otherwise... well. She didn't even want to consider the
consequences of that particular scenario.
But rest assured, Nabiki would get her revenge on the
person who had somehow whisked away her panties. And it was
to be a very painful revenge if she had anything to do with it.
---
It had taken hours of deliberation and much vulgar cursing
but Perfume had finally come to a decision.
She had finally decided whether or not she wanted to
merge with her pixie form.
And her decision, or at least her announcing it in her
musical pixie language, was cut off by the bucket she was trapped
under suddenly flying upwards with incredible force.
"Tink tink!" Perfume cried happily as she once again gazed
upon the light of day.
Unfortunately, Perfume only had a second to rejoice in her
freedom before a loud thundering noise met her ears and a sinking
feeling hit her tiny stomach.
"Tink?" whispered Perfume in quiet dread.
Her sapphire eyes went as wide as saucers, well, as wide
as tiny pixie saucers, on what she saw next. And what she saw next
was a huge mountain of panties.
A huge mountain of panties that were heading right towards
her. A huge mountain of panties that, for some reason, she felt
herself being dragged towards despite the fact that she was
frantically beating her small pixie wings in hopes of going in the
opposite direction.
"Tiiiiiiiinnnnnnnk!" wailed Perfume.
The despair in her musical voice was soon drowned out
into barely decipherable muffles as she found herself buried in the
mass of panties as they continued to fly through the streets of
Nerima on their set path.
And the people who were following the mass of panties,
don't ask why they're following it because it's just better not to
know, couldn't help but wonder one thing.
Where exactly were the panties going anyway?
---
When Ranma and Siren returned back to the sorcery shop
they were met with an unusual sight.
It was the sight of Kodachi trying to pry a pair of black silk
panties off the window to the shop. Kasumi was standing next to
her wearing a very perplexed expression.
"Sensei," said Kasumi who turned her head on sensing the
magic influx that heralded Siren's return. "Will you help us, please?
Our panties are... well... stuck to the front window to the shop for
some reason."
"Do tell," Siren said as she titled her head to one side. "I
can't imagine how that would come to happen."
"Dachi?" asked Ranma as she walked over to her girlfriend
who was still attempting to yank her panties off of the glass.
Pausing to peer at Kodachi's bottom which was nicely covered in
her tight black jeans, she said, "But how in the heck could your
panties come off? Your pants aren't torn or anything like that..."
"I don't know how they came off!" Kodachi replied
irritably. "But it's obviously clear that they did!"
Before Ranma could comment any further, a loud rumbling
met their ears and suddenly both Kodachi and Kasumi's panties
smashed through the glass.
Hesitantly looking up, Kodachi met the blue eyes of Ranma
and realized that the blonde elf had protected her from the brunt of
the shattering glass with her body.
"Ranma darling," said Kodachi softly.
"Heh," Ranma gave a strained chuckle and formed a
reassuring smile as she said, "I'm fine, Dachi. It's not like some
stupid shards of glass could really hurt me."
"Right," Siren murmured in amused tones before she
casually passed her hand over Ranma's back and the elf gasped as
she felt a warm feeling surround her while the pain that had
previously engulfed her senses left her body.
Smiling warmly, Siren said, "Feeling better, dear?"
"Yeah," said Ranma with a gasp. "Lots."
"So," pronounced Siren as she tipped her head to one side
and looked at Kasumi. "What do all you have to say about find out
just what whisked away your underthings?"
"But Sensei..." began Kasumi slowly.
"But what, dear?" asked Siren. "Don't tell me that you don't
want your panties back? If you don't then surely my granddaughter
would want them returned to you."
"Of course I want them back!" Kasumi exclaimed. "It's
just... I was wondering... what about you?"
"Me?" Siren blinked.
"What about your panties?" asked Kasumi.
"Oh, that," said Siren as she gave an almost nervous laugh.
"Let's just say that I don't put much stock in them and leave it at
that, apprentice."
Snickering while Kasumi turned red, Ranma said, "Pretty
risque for an Amazon Elder like you."
"Elder?" repeated Siren coyly. "Whoever said that I was an
Elder? I may have experience but that's a position I would never
want to hold. They're far too stuffy."
"Excuse me!" Kodachi shouted in definitely annoyed tones.
"But shouldn't we be pursuing my wayward underwear that--"
Once again, a loud rumbling met their ears and they turned
to look out of the broken window and saw a very unusual sight.
It was even unusual for Ranma and Siren, who were in fact
the ones responsible for causing it.
And it was the sight of more than a thousand panties flying
past in a huge hoard. And the hoard, for some reason, was
shouting the word 'sweet' which was accented by the sound of very
irate musical bells.
They were irate musical bells that sounded all too familiar
to an always attentive Kasumi.
"Perfume-chan?" said Kasumi as her eyes went wide. "Is
that you? Oh no..." Turning to regard Siren, she said hurriedly, "We
have to help her, Sensei! She sounds terribly upset with her current
situation!"
"I can't imagine why," said Siren who couldn't help but
form a small teasing smile.
"Sensei..." said Kasumi in exasperated tones.
"All right, all right," said Siren as she waved her hands in a
warding fashion. "Lets go help her, shall we?"
"And find my panties," enforced Kodachi rather
threateningly as she supported Ranma with one arm.
"As if I could forget about that," Siren murmured.
With a flick of her wrist, Siren said a few words under her
breath and seconds later, they were engulfed in a golden ball of
light and went flying after the panties.
After the panties and the huge crowd of women and a few
men that were also following after it.
It seemed that panty fever had taken over Nerima.
---
"Akane-chan is so wonderful," said Chocolate with a
dreamy sigh as she watched the girl instruct Shampoo and the other
Furinkan High girls basketball players.
"Ehm, yes, indeed she is," said Tatewaki who eyed
Chocolate with a look of confusion. Giving a slight cough, he then
asked, "You are very fond of her, aren't you?"
"No," said Chocolate in tones that could still be described
as dreamy. "I'm more than fond of her. I'm in love with her. Utterly
and desperately in love with her."
"Which is still a form of fondness I suppose," Tatewaki said
rather comically as he gave a smile.
Chuckling at this, Chocolate said, "I guess." She very
reluctantly tore her eyes away from watching Akane teach her
teammates a new play maneuver, to look at Tatewaki with careful
eyes. "What about you?" she asked quietly. "How do you feel
about Shampoo? I know that she's fond of you."
"I am fond of her as well," said Tatewaki nervously while
his cheeks turned bright red. "Shampoo is a kind and generous soul
and I appreciate all that she has done for me."
"Good," said Chocolate softly as she rested her chin in the
palm of her hand. "I'm glad that you like her too."
"Mou--Chocolate?" asked Tatewaki, who was
experiencing confusion at the warm tone of the girl's voice as she
studied the handsome boy next to her.
"Tatewaki," said Chocolate solemnly. She clasped the
boy's hand before continuing, "Shampoo needs to have someone
like you in her life. Someone who truly likes her for herself and not
for her position in the tribe. Someone that will love and respect her
for who she really is. And I think... no," Chocolate smiled. "I know
that you're that person. You two make a great couple."
"A couple?" Tatewaki repeated dimly.
While Tatewaki was busy going over this information in his
brain, several loud shrieks were heard from the basketball players.
Rising to his feet, Tatewaki's hand immediately went to his katana
while he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong but instead of
asking, he soon found his jaw dropping entirely of its own will.
Seconds later, he squeaked in embarrassment and covered
his eyes with his hands in a hasty movement.
And why did he do this?
He did this because, for some reason, all of the girls
basketball players on the court were not only missing their gym
shorts but their underwear as well.
This left them completely naked from the waist down.
It's fairly safe to say that this was something that Tatewaki
hadn't ever expected to see. At least, not out in public and inside
one of his school's gymnasiums.
"Akane-chan!" cried Chocolate as she left Tatewaki
standing alone in the bleachers and ran down to her girlfriend who
was looking at herself in dim shock.
"Chocolate," said Akane while she lifted her head to look
at the other girl. "Are your panties gone too?"
"Panties?" Chocolate blinked. "What are those?"
"Stupid Mousse!" shouted Shampoo. "You must be
knowing what panties are! Is things we now missing!"
"You mean underwear?" asked Chocolate. She shrugged
then said, "I never wear the stuff. It makes me itch. And I don't
think I'm going to start wearing it now if it tends to just disappear
off of peoples bodies for no reason."
While Shampoo twitched on hearing this, the rest of
athletes did what they always did when there was any type of crisis
situation on campus.
They sought their beloved Akane's opinion.
"Captain! What happened to our panties?!"
"Yes, Captain Akane! What's going on?"
"You must know, Akane! You must!"
"Please, Akane-chan, tell us the answer!"
Blinking at the sudden outbursts from her teammates,
Akane said easily, "It's the panty collector."
There was a moment of deafening silence before all the
basketball players said together, "The what?"
"The panty collector," repeated Akane. She frowned then
said, "Don't tell me that you guys have never met him. He comes to
my house once a month asking for all my old panties. Apparently
he's like the tax collector except he collects panties. My panties
pay for our family gas bill."
Another long pause of silence filled the air as everyone
considered just what Akane's words meant.
"Akane-chan," said Chocolate after a moment. "Will you
do me a favor?"
"Of course I will, Chocolate!" Akane exclaimed as she
beamed at her girlfriend. "I'll do whatever you ask!"
"Don't give your old panties to this panty collector person
ever again. Let your Dad pay the gas bill from now on, okay?" said
Chocolate as she formed a sweatdrop.
"Well... okay, if you want me to I will, Chocolate," said
Akane rather reluctantly. "But I'll have to tell Dad that I'm not
paying for it anymore with my old panties."
"NO!" shouted Chocolate as her eyes went wide. Pausing
to laugh nervously as Akane looked at her with certain surprise,
she then said, "Don't tell him that. In fact, don't tell him at all. I'm
sure he'll figure it out."
"Okay," said Akane as she smiled widely. "I will."
Heaving a sigh of relief, Chocolate turned to reach into
subspace and produced several pairs of pants which she had slung
over her arm.
"I don't have any panties," said Chocolate as she averted
her eyes from all of the girls. "But all of you can take these pants
and cover yourselves up with them."
"Mousse," said Shampoo as she took her pair of pants and
shimmied into them. "Where you get these?"
"They were presents," Chocolate revealed.
"Presents from who?" asked Shampoo suspiciously.
"From my..." Chocolate mumbled the rest lowly.
"From who?" Shampoo asked loudly.
"They're from her fan club," Akane intervened as she hung
onto Chocolate's arm after putting her pants on. "They're always
giving her all kinds of neat presents."
"Fan club?" echoed Shampoo.
"Yeah," said Akane brightly. "The Chocoholics."
"Mousse..." began Shampoo in tones of definite shock.
"Mousse have a fan club?"
"No," said Akane with a frown. "Chocolate does." Turning
to her girlfriend, she asked, "Why does Shampoo keep calling you
Mousse, Chocolate?"
"Uhmm... well, about that," Chocolate began nervously.
She started to laugh in high pitched tones then said quickly, "Lets
forget it and find your panties, huh? I mean, they can't have just
disappeared can they?"
"Chocolate," Akane's frown grew. "Why won't you answer
me? Why does Shampoo call you Mousse?"
"Akane," stammered Chocolate. "I can explain. I--"
"Is her surname."
Turning to look at Shampoo with confused eyes, Akane
asked, "What do you mean? I thought that in your Amazon tribe
you didn't have surnames."
"Chocolate is very... unusual," said Shampoo who formed
a sly and very wicked smile. "She only one in tribe to have last
name. Real name is Chocolate Mousse. She no like this name so
asked to be called by one or another. I used to call her Mousse but
now," Shampoo paused to regard Chocolate solemnly. "I will do as
she wishes and call her by true self. I will call her Chocolate."
"Shampoo," whispered Chocolate. "Thank you."
"You has deserve new start," murmured Shampoo. She
paused and a gleam arrived in her scarlet eyes as she said, "But
now I'm thinking that we need to find missing panties. After all, we
shouldn't let anyone dishonor the Furinkan High girls basketball
team. Is that not so?"
"Yeah! Shampoo-san is right!"
"Lets find our panties!"
"And the jerk behind all this!"
"We'll stomp them into the ground!"
With a loud thundering noise, the girls stampeded out of the
gym to begin their quest to find their missing panties. It was a quest
that wouldn't take them very far.
Whether this was good or bad really isn't known.
But it is known that after they left the gym, Tatewaki was
still left alone in the gym covering his eyes with his hands and frozen
in a state of timidity.
"Shampoo?" began Tatewaki in very hesitant tones.
"Chocolate? Akane? Is anyone here?"
It would take him over ten minutes to work up enough
courage to finally lower his hands only to find the gym empty and
himself alone.
"Where did they all go?" asked Tatewaki softly.
---
"There!" said Taro as he gained his breath. "It's right there,
Akari! It's finally stopped moving!"
"About time," Akari huffed. She frowned as she looked at
the hoard of panties which were floating above the front yard to a
local high school. "What the heck is that thing anyway, Taro? And
why did it take my panties?"
"Beats me," said Taro with a shrug. "But whatever it is, it's
not going to get away with doing it!"
After saying this, Taro took off in a run towards the panties
with a look of utter determination. Watching him depart, Akari's
eyes went wide.
"He's defending me... sort of," Akari murmured. "I
wonder... could he be the one that Grandfather wanted me to wait
for? He does love Pokemon as much as I do."
"Tauros, tauros."
Feeling the Tauros nudge at her waist, Akari looked at the
hulking pokemon and smiled. "You want to go after him?" she
asked. "All right, lets go. Besides, they are my panties. I should be
the one to punish whoever did this, not him. Although," Akari wore
a mischievous smile. "I don't see the harm in letting Taro punish
them as well."
With that, Akari took off after Taro with Tauros running
right behind her. When she reached him she found that he wasn't
the only one wanting her panties and a good dose of revenge on
whoever was responsible for this.
Which wasn't really all that surprising.
"HENTAI!!!" roared Nabiki as she punched at the hoard
of panties. "I know you're inside there! Get out!!"
After Nabiki did this, a muffled series of bell like tinkles
were heard and she scowled at the sound.
"It figures that Amazons would be behind this," Nabiki
muttered lowly. "Now I'm really going to kick your ass, Perfume!
And not even Kasumi can stop me!"
"What is you saying?"
Turning around, Nabiki met Shampoo's fiery scarlet gaze
and snorted. "It's only you," said Nabiki in dry tones. "Don't try to
stop me. I know that your Amazon sister is behind all this. I can
hear her inside there."
Frowning at this, Shampoo closed her eyes and
concentrated then soon heard the sound of her Cousin making her
usual musical bell sounds from inside the huge hoard of panties that
was floating in the air.
"So?" Shampoo retorted. "Just because can hear Perfume
Cousin in there not mean she do this." Giving Nabiki a derisive
look, she asked, "Why would she be doing this anyway? It make
no sense for her to."
After she said this Shampoo could swear she heard
Perfume give a tinkling and muffled cry of agreement.
Finally calming down, Nabiki said reluctantly, "Maybe you
have a point. But if she didn't do this then who did? I don't hear
anyone else inside there."
That was when the hoard of panties cried out in rather
ecstatic tones, "Sweet! It's so sweet! All these silky darlings just for
me and me alone! Life is sweet!"
"You was saying?" commented Shampoo dryly.
"Shut up," Nabiki said darkly as she scowled. Bunching her
hand into a fist, she shouted, "Get out of there you dirty hentai!!
Get out of there and let me beat the crap out of you already!!"
"Oh, that a good way to persuade them," Shampoo
muttered under her breath. Turning to look at Akane who had
observed all of this in silence, she said lowly, "Is you sure that she
is really your blood sister, Akane? She not at all like you and your
sister Kasumi. Is much crazier."
"Nabiki's my Oneechan all right," said Akane with a smile.
"And she's always been a bit high strung."
At this comment both Shampoo and Chocolate
sweatdropped before the latter said, "Even if the person
responsible for all of this is inside of those panties how in the world
are we going to get them out of there?"
"Oh, with a bit of magic."
On hearing this, all three girls looked up to gaze upon the
figures of Siren, Ranma, Kodachi, and Kasumi floating over them
inside of a golden bubble.
Floating down to the ground and causing the bubble to
diminish as their feet hit the ground, Siren said, "It wouldn't take
more than a flick of my wrist to break apart all of those panties and
discover the thief inside."
"And who says the thief isn't you?"
Siren turned to regard, Cologne, who had just appeared
out of nowhere causing everyone but Siren and Akane to give a
noticeable jump into the air on seeing her.
"Me? I'm hurt, Cologne-chan. Really I am," said Siren in
teasing tones as she wore a wounded expression.
"Right," said Cologne in droll tones. "You want to prove
me wrong? Go ahead and expose the real thief."
"With pleasure," said Siren with certain flourish. Giving
Cologne a saucy smile and a wink, she turned to face the hoard of
panties. Raising her hands high into the air she chanted in low tones
and the panties began to fall away and seconds later they landed on
the ground with a thunderous crash, causing a gigantic crater in the
front yard to Furinkan High. On seeing this, Siren gave an almost
sheepish laugh and said, "Sorry about that."
No one really noticed Siren's apology because they were
too busy focusing on the pile of panties. Or rather, what lay on top
of the pile of panties.
And what lay on top of the pile of panties was the figure of
a dirty old man who was hugging them to his body.
In a split second, all the enraged and panty-less females
present realized exactly who the old man was.
He was the one who stole their panties. And he was going
to pay and pay dearly for what he had done.
That was they all mobbed on him like a mass of
uncontrollable locusts intent on tearing him to pieces. It was a
scene that lasted barely a minute before they had decimated him to
a shell of a man, and somehow after finding their right and proper
panties, the women left the premises of Furinkan High to its usual
insanity.
"Why me?" groaned Happosai from where he lay in a
destroyed heap in the huge crater where all of his panties had been
before the girls had taken them back.
"Tink tink tink!" Perfume groused before she gave him a
swift kick to the head which caused him to pass out. She then
fluttered out of the crater and towards Kasumi, only pausing to
look at Nabiki and stick out her tongue.
"Perfume-chan, you're all right," said Kasumi with some
relief as the tiny pixie flew forward to rest in her open hand.
"Tink tink," muttered Perfume. She averted her gaze from
Kasumi's and said softly, "Tink tink tink."
"Yes, I imagine that it was embarrassing," said Kasumi. "I'd
want to merge my cursed forms after having to go through that as
well. But Perfume," Kasumi formed a most charming smile as she
said this. "I personally think that you would look very lovely that
way. Not that you don't already look lovely in either form."
While Perfume blushed prettily at this, Cologne studied the
crumpled figure in the crater and said rather darkly, "Happosai. I
should have known."
"It seems the blemish has returned to cause even more
trouble in our lives, Cologne-chan," said Siren as she formed a face
of definite distaste. "I'd say finish him here but he's like roaches and
twinkies. He'll survive whatever we manage to throw at him."
"Happosai?" repeated Nabiki. She frowned and said, "You
mean that guy who trained my Dad? He was the one who did this?"
"Yup," said Ranma with a nod of her blonde head.
"Apparently the guy is a first class pervert. Right, Dachi?"
"Indeed," said Kodachi as her violet eyes glared at
Happosai's crumpled form. "He's a pervert in all ways and I would
very much endorse in destroying him right now."
"Destroy Barnacle-chan?" asked Akane with wide eyes.
"But he's harmless! He just likes to hug a lot!"
"Barnacle-chan?" Nabiki said as she turned to her sister.
"And what do you mean by he likes to hug a lot?"
"She didn't mean anything!" Chocolate cut in as she gave a
nervous smile and clasped her hand over her girlfriend's mouth. She
then turned to Akane and said in quiet tones, "I thought I told you
to stop letting him hug you like that, Akane. He's a person and not
a barnacle! Not much a person but still..."
"But he looks like a barnacle," Akane pouted.
"Can't argue with that," said Ranma with a smirk.
Sighing at this, Chocolate gave up trying to reason with
Akane and merely let the other girl hang onto her arm like usual.
Then she noticed that Cologne was focusing on her with a close
and definitely curious gaze.
Giving a nervous gulp, Chocolate discretely swept Akane
into her arms and in seconds, the pair disappeared from the
gathering of people without anyone noticing.
"I say we put him in an iron box and sink him into the
Pacific Ocean," offered Ranma easily.
"Poison is an apt solution," Kodachi murmured.
"We should just beat him up again," Nabiki said.
"Why not hand him over to the proper authorities?" asked
Tatewaki who appeared out of nowhere in a manner almost similar
to Cologne's.
"Tachi," said Shampoo as she let out a breath of air. "Stop
doing that to Shampoo. Is a bit scary."
"I apologize, Shampoo-san," said Tatewaki as he gave a
slight bow of his head. "Stealth is a habit of mine."
"Frankly," said Siren in an enchanting lilt. "I don't think any
of those suggestions are good enough to punish the little pervert.
We should pull out the big guns."
"A fireball spell?" Cologne suggested.
"Worse," Siren replied with a gleam in her eyes.
"I like that idea," said Cologne as she smiled.
"A fireball? That's too quick," said Nabiki with a scowl.
"We need a torturous long lasting punishment."
"No, fireball! That sounds cool!"
"Ranma, be reasonable. It's too fast."
"Fireball! Fireball!"
"Why not turn him over to the authorities?"
"The police? Please. They're afraid of us here."
"Oh, well, yes. That makes sense I suppose."
"I still say poison is an apt solution."
"Tink tink tink! TINK!"
"Perfume-chan! Now that's just mean!"
"Tink tink. Tink tink, tink."
"Well, I do understand but honestly..."
As the debate about just what to do with Happosai
continued on, it grew to massive sound levels.
It was so loud, that they almost didn't hear when a high
pitched whistle pierced the air to get their attention.
Almost but not quite.
Turning around, the group regarded the handsome boy
with curly hair who wore Chinese style clothes. Next to him stood
a pretty girl and a large bull like creature. On seeing the creature,
Ranma's eyes went wide and she made a discreet move to stand
behind Kodachi for protection.
"I have a better idea," the boy said. "Why not give him over
to me? I'm sure that I could punish him in a way that would make
all of you happy. And I have more than just his panty thieving as
my reason for wanting to do it."
"Oh?" said Cologne as she quirked an eyebrow. "And just
what do you plan to do, boy?"
Forming a slow smile, the boy averted his eyes from
Cologne's and walked over to the bull like creature and pulled out
a flask. Upending over his head, they all watched as he turned a
pink and cuddly creature that only one of them recognized
immediately as a Clefairy.
Ignoring their looks of wonder, the Clefairy walked over to
where Happosai still lay in a crumpled heap and closing it's eyes it
held its fingers into the air while rocking back in forth in a dance.
Seconds later, a huge explosion erupted.
It was an explosion that surrounded Happosai and sent him
flying high into the air only to land seconds later back inside of the
now smoldering crater with a loud thud.
The Clefairy wore a smug smile as it hopped into the crater
and produced a rope out of nowhere to tie the martial arts master
up with. It then drug Happosai out of the crater and towards the
amazed onlookers.
"Fairy, clefairy," said the Clefairy with a smile.
"Well," said Kodachi after a moment. "That certainly was
an apt punishment if I ever saw one."
"Oh yeah," said Nabiki with a nod. "Very apt."
"And oh so much fun to watch," murmured Kodachi. Tilting
her head back she continued, "Don't you agree, Ranma darling?"
Pausing as she saw Ranma hiding behind her and shivering
uncontrollably, she said, "Ranma darling? Is something the matter?
What troubles you?"
"Cle-Cle-Cle-Cle-Clefairy," stammered Ranma.
"Clefairy?" echoed Kodachi in confusion.
"Clefairy!" Ranma said with a terrified squeak.
"Clefairy, fairy?" asked the Clefairy as it neared the group
on hearing its name being said.
"CLEFAIRY!!" screamed Ranma in maniacally kawaii
tones that were more than a bit frightening.
That was when it was finally revealed. The secret technique
and the secret shame of Saotome Ranma.
Otherwise known as the legendary pokefist.
To be continued...
Most characters in this fanfiction are from Ranma 1/2. This fanfic
was inspired by the works of Rumiko Takahashi but the craziness
behind it is purely my own. I'd like to thank Jim Robert Bader, Red
Death, and my brother Patrick for listening to my goofy ideas. Also
special thanks to Wade Tritschler for allowing me to be a part of
his Altered Destinies project.
Send me flying panties at: Dreiser1@ix.netcom.com
Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780
Thanks to Red Death all of my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm
For previous chapters of BRBT visit Altered Destinies at:
http://www.fortunecity.com/lavendar/attenborough/249/index.htm
Next up: The horrifying power of the pokefist and the ridiculous
way it makes Ranma act.
"I'll exorcise all of you, and that little ghost too!"
-Hojo Haruto; Haunted Junction-
Juri Rules All.
Mokona is Satan.
Yes, I'm a girl.
-Quotes from me-