Vincent Seifert wrote:

    "What's the big deal about Furinkan?  It's not like they
have much of a martial arts rhythmic gymnastics team...."

Ranma

gave Akane, up to her neck in steaming water on the other side

of

the furo, a puzzled look.

    Akane returned him a worried look.  "Not that.  The match

is

Suggest not repeating 'look.'

Well, actually that was intentional... didn't work for you, I take

it.

Not as written. Maybe if the last bit said 'Akane, in turn,

gave....'

    Hmm... I was thinking:

        ... the furo, a puzzled look.

        Akane returned it with a worried one.  "Not that.  The match
is ...


    Just my opinion, there, but I think that'd work better. :)


    Brian Payne
    sofaspud@sofaspud.org
    http://www.sofaspud.org



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