Ah HA!
This is what I was trying to say. (Mr. Shimmel said it
much better) I think you are a superior writer.
However I agree with Mr. Schimmel that, thus far, the
story seems to be covering old ground. That was one
reason I suggested using Japanese or Chinese
mythology. You could still have a Akane to return to
wreak vengeance but in a more Japanese manner.
The writing is superlative and the idea is very good.
(I'm an Akane fan. *_*) I think you might want to
tweak a few of the details.
For instance, according to Japanese thought the soul
of a sleeping person enters their pillow at night and
only returns in the morning. (The details I have are
a little sketchy) Since the Japanese use secret
hangings and don't let anyone know until a few hours
(or less) beforehand, you could have them hang Akane
at night. Her soul remains in the pillow. The pillow
is disposed of and Akane's soul RE-enters other
bodies and uses them in her quest for vengeance.
There are a lot of other possibilities. When a person
dies, under certain circumstances they become a kami.
In this case Akane could become a vengeful kami.
Again, I think it's a good idea and as always your
writing is very good. Good luck.
--- Scott Schimmel <schimmel@voicenet.com> wrote:
At 04:06 PM 2/22/00 -0500, Jed M Bidwell wrote:
Ranma 1/2: A Murder of
Crows
<story cut>
Questions? Comments? Love to hear em!
Okay. This probably isn't what you want to hear,
but...
I feel like I've read this before.
I've seen at least two other Ranma/Crow fusions, and
so far,
the only substantial difference between this and the
others is
that it's Akane rather than Ranma who's doing the
reincarnation
thing. That's just not enough to interest me, when
everything
else, from the scenes themselves right down to the
choice of
words, is so similar.
I don't mean to imply that you're a bad writer;
you're not.
The chapter is more than competent. I just don't
enjoy it as
much as I otherwise might, because in my mind, it
doesn't
distinguish itself enough from those other previous
fics.
I'm not sure just how much of a problem this is;
I've been
reading fanfics for a long time, and the others were
both a
while ago, even though they made an impression on
me. If
you're troubled by it, I'd suggest trying to
establish
your fic's "identity" -- what are the differences
that set
it apart from others with a similar concept? --
earlier on.
Or not. <shrug> It does, as I mentioned, seem quite
well
written.
Scott Schimmel Ex ignorantia ad
sapientium;
Ex luce ad tenebras
"You really aren't normal, are you?" - Miki
Koishikawa
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