You wrote:
One day I will reply to a fic the same day it's posted. It will happen I
tell you.
Depending on how long it takes me to do my next fic (which is going to
probably be a while since my life has now becoming WAY too busy), and you
get to the last two pieces of VD I put out, you might get that chance.
I guess the best place to start would be right at end of the journey.
Bonus points for an unusual opening.
Thanks, though I think someone else said they had seen similar openings
dozens of times.
I liked the flow of prose leading up to the arrival at the amazon
village. While it took me a bit to figure out it was Akane narrating, I
was dead set on it being Ranma's kid for some reason, the refferences
people and the perceptions did seem to be reasonable.
I never thought of that, but I guess it was true.
As it has most likely already been stated, it is rather melodramatic. I
like melodrama though so it wasn't really a problem for me.
Will probably cut back on the melodrama in the revision, but it is a
melodramatic piece by nature, so it will still be that way.
Akane was
very nicely in character. One is forced to wonder how she thinks three
months of training with Genma would let her defeat Shampoo when Ranma,
who was training with Genma for his entire life couldn't defeat her.
He had when he first met her. He wasn't really attacking as much as
defending himself the night he got killed, and that was because of a slip
up on his part. Her increased level was superior to pre-return Shampoo, but
as she discovered, Shampoo had gotten better too.
Oh
well, there's Akane for you.
The fight scene was nice, but a bit to much into the emotional aspect
for me. I like the action clean and quick. Still, it was what was called
for.
Thank you again.
This, and the last serious one shot you released that I remember are
both first person Ranma fics. I'm forced to wonder why you don't haul
out and write a full size sucker in this style.
I don't care much for long first person perspective pieces. I prefer them
somewhat short. Still, who knows that the future will bring?
Thanks for the C+C.
D.B. Sommer