(Note to Gleep - I tried to send this directly to your e-mail address, but it
got bounced ... hopefully you'll get it this way. Sorry. ^^;)
I'd better start off with a disclaimer: I *didn't* like this fic. "Smut," as
you (accurately) labeled it, is not my style ... I *do* read the occasional
lemon (sometimes to my dismay), but I personally prefer less ... ah,
glaringly explicit material. (I also went back and looked at someone else's
public C&C on the list; they were right that the video and the conversation
were rather crude.)
Now that that's said (and I *do* hope you didn't take that as an outright
flame! ^_^;;) there were a couple of things I wanted to mention about your
first-ever lemon, or more precisely, background from the universe you're
writing in.
First off, Tokugawa Ieyasu is *not* the Emperor of Japoness; Japoness doesn't
*have* an emperor. Like his historical namesake, Tokugawa Ieyasu is properly
called the Shogun; he is addressed as "Shogun-sama" by civilians like Otaru,
while retainers and members of the court (like Hikozaemon) call him "ue-sama"
- a term which would probably translate best as "My Lord" or "Sir". *Nobody*
would call Tokugawa Ieyasu "emperor," "Your Majesty," or anything similar.
Secondly, I wanted to bring to your attention a part of the SMJ continuity
which you don't seem to know about - but which is quite relevant to the story
you're trying to write.
The Saber Marionette J series was followed by a six-OAV series entitled
Saber Marionette J Again (or Mata Mata Saber Marionette J, if you want to use
the Japanese). These six episodes take place sometime shortly after the end
of the SMJ TV series - as a matter of fact, the episode title screens show
"Program 26: Plasmatic Crisis," then a "Load" number and the OAV title.
There are at least two incidents within the SMJ Again OAVs which directly
relate to the "sexual" development of marionettes. During the third OAV,
Marine - a mysterious new marionette - suddenly becomes terrified of Otaru,
and men in general; when Otaru and the other marionettes in his charge go to
see Lorelei, the scientist explains that Marine is going through the
marionette version of puberty. As Lorelei explains it, human females going
through puberty "mature" as they fall in and out of love with various men,
until they eventually find the man that they really love. (I may be
misremembering some of the details, but that was the gist of it.) As Marine
matures further, she'll overcome her fear of men and start acting normally
again.
Otaru is somewhat concerned about what'll happen when Lime, Cherry, and
Bloodberry hit "puberty" - if they haven't already. As it happens, while the
extended family is getting ready for bed that night, Lime suddenly realizes
that Otaru's staring at her as she removes her outer clothes. Her response is
a murmured "Otaru-kun .... ecchi," as she covers her chest in embarassment.
The weird part is that Otaru's watched the marionettes changing before, and
none of them - particularly Lime (whose maiden circuit represents Innocence)
- have ever reacted like that. For at least the rest of that episode, Lime
and Otaru are kind of nervous around each other ... Lime is presumably going
through puberty herself, but with the additional twist that she already loves
Otaru deeply ... which does complicate matters for her. The fact that Otaru
at *least* really likes Lime - or actually loves her - doesn't help his end
of the situation either.
The other incident from SMJ Again involves Otaru, Luchs, and Panther; I'm not
sure exactly when it took place (probably the same episode as the puberty
stuff). You need to bear in mind that for most of SMJ Again, Faust's three
Saber Dolls were entrusted to Otaru for him to raise them further - something
Faust was no good at.
At some point, Luchs takes it into her head to try to seduce Otaru, dressing
up in a *very* feminine outfit - I believe it was actually lingerie, come to
think of it. Of course, he reacts ... rather poorly, scrambling away from her
and waking up most of the others with the ruckus.
The next morning, Luchs actually enlists Panther's aid in trying to seduce
Otaru, saying that if they can't seduce *him*, how will they ever seduce Lord
Faust? Faced with this logic, Panther starts trying on outfits with Luchs as
well ... They don't quite get to carry their plans through, though. (I'd
really have to re-watch that episode for details.)
I strongly recommend that you watch the Saber Marionette J Again OAVs if you
liked the SMJ TV series; they make a terrific addition to the storyline, and
give Lorelei some *much* needed screen time and character development to
boot.
Something else which I was thinking ... oh yes. Sexuality is *far* from dead
on Terra II, in Japoness or elsewhere. Hanagata is depicted consistently in
the series as having a kind of Otaru fetish; on several occasions, he makes
it clear that he does have some kind of sexual feelings towards Otaru (and is
not shy about expressing them!), even though Otaru rejects him regularly.
Hanagata actually believes that men are *meant* to have close relationships,
and that to be close (or intimate) with marionettes is the height of
immorality. Or something. (As it happens, this point of view - the value of
male-male relationships - was also held by some samurai of the Tokugawa
period in Japanese history. In *our* reality.)
Bearing in mind that Terra II was an all-male planet, I'm not surprised that
there was homosexuality among the men - heck, that would have been the norm
in some respects; I try to keep that in mind when thinking about Hanagata's
behavior. However, there are also occasional references to marionettes as
lovers ... and yes, that's the type of marionettes who *don't* have maiden
circuits. Although it's never detailed on screen, I suspect that some
marionettes were indeed constructed with sexual functions. (Whether any of
the maiden-circuit equipped marionettes were among these is a question which
I won't get into; I have my theory but that would shoot your entire premise
out of the water.)
If you think marionettes with sexual "equipment" but without emotions are a
repulsive concept .... well, you've just agreed with Hanagata.
Anyway, I hope some of the above information will help you. As I said, I'm
probably not going to read any more of "How to Handle a Woman" - smut really
isn't my style. However, I wish you good luck in any case.