Subject: [FFML] Re: [Rewrite][Orig][C&C requested] Mecha Series Nine
From: Starrngr@aol.com
Date: 3/23/2000, 3:31 AM
To: FFML@fanfic.com

Yes, lawrence, I DO happen to remember this series from Waay back when.  And 
all I can do after reading it is sit here laughing.  This is one of the 
better general Mecha save the earth parodies I've seen in a while...  But it 
seems to me like you repeated yourself (Unintentionally?) Right after our 
hero steps through the portal...

Ah.  Heres the passage:
***

You can imagine your own surreal vision of islands and wonder and
intrigue here.  It doesn't take that much imagination.

Not that it'd matter, because Makiko didn't have anything like that
at all while going through the portal.

***

You can imagine your own surreal vision of islands and wonder and
intrigue here.  It doesn't take that much imagination.

Now toss in a giant thing under a mosquito veil and a foot-high dwarf-
like creature, perhaps a table or desk here or there, and a ceiling,
and a bunch of really funky-looking gadgets/waldos/doodads/gizmos and you 
have a vague idea of what Makiko saw when she stepped out of the portal.  You 
might want to add to your little imaginary composition
the small number of pebbles that lay at her feet.

Now, I realise that you were proboboly trying to make the distinction between 
her uneventfull trip through the portal and what she saw when she came out.  
To me, though, it just seemed confusing and that you had suffered some sort 
of cut and paste error.  Other than that, however, I personally couldnt find 
anything bad about it....

--
Starrngr -- Ranger HQ
HTTP://home.talkcity.com/TheSanitarium/Da_Muck/

"You wear a Hawaiian shirt and bring your music on a RUN?  No wonder they 
call you Howling Mad..."  --  Rabid the Pysad.


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