Note to other reviewers, this seems to be a cross-over
with Kimagure Orange Road, NOT Magic Knight Rayearth. I mean,
there are a fair number of anime characters named Hikaru,
after all.
James writes:
avenue of escape. Finding none he started to gone into his tirade
go
served to protect and distance him from the emotional world, hung in
his throat.
probably better to say caught
devastation that had ran that night. Even before everyone had shown up
run (or perhaps better, ensued)
He wasn't sure what a home felt like, but he was more
comfortable here than he had ever been. He wasn't sure what love
had ever been anywhere else.
remember, everything he ever cared about left him. As Ranma thought of
had left
"Who could it be at this hour?" Ranma asked with a smirk, not
to have answered, but anything had to be better than his options two
expecting an answer,
not a Martial Artists and had probably never even been trained in the,
martial artist the arts,
As Ranma collapsed, he nearly took the girl down with him;
after all, she had not been expecting him to suddenly go limp. Hikaru
glared at the girl who stood before her clutching a mallet with a
suspiciously new dent in it.
I'm not sure you want to name her quite like that, I'd think it
better to have someone else supply it. One other point, Takahashi never
uses a mallet for anything other than a sight gag. If Akane hits Ranma
in a serious scene, such as this, she might use a shinai, but she is more
likely to use her fist, and the most serious hits she ever laid on him in
the manga were just slaps. A mallet is just out of place. For the scene,
you don't really need Ranma unconscious anyway, just dazed and confused.
(Hums a few bars.)
"Do what ever you like, it's not like I care or anything!" She
whatever she
radiating form her in a way darkness should not be able to. Then she
from
with Ranma's other fianc�e's, she had expected some form of attack.
fiancees, (should also point out, Akane
hasn't fought the others all that much. She's never fought Ukyo, for
instance.)
Why should she be that different from the others. What she did not
others?
crimson red surrounding the girl before she leapt at her with an
with
amazing skill. Akane was about to dodge out of the way while blocking,
(saying the girl leapt at her with amazing skill sounds odd - she's
just jumping, right? I'd leave off that last bit.)
'Even physics appeared not to be involved where Ranma life was
Ranma was
"Oh, hello Kyousuki. Long time no see, ne?" Kasumi asked from
Kyousuke. (Assuming we're talking KOR)
others didn't recognize him, it may have been the best makeup job in
might
Chubasa could learn a few things from him.
Tsubasa
"Ah, yeah." Kyousuki said some what uneasy. He had hoped none
yeah," Kyousuke said, somewhat uneasily.
of them would recognize him. Some reason though, since she was the
For some
Inwardly he sighed. How could he be doing this. Certainly, he
this?
felt he was following the path of the greater of two evils. He could
Um, don't you mean the lesser? Why would he be following the worse
path?
he responded "Sure." Both Akane and Nabiki looked questioningly at
responded,
spying on, every since Ranma got here. She had always hated that,
ever
she should be against this. Akane thought for a second, the joined her
then
After a long silence, they booth looked at each other quizzically.
both
Akane barged on in, Demanding to know what was going on. The kitchen
demanding
back yard and off on to the Nerma streets while Akane was muttering
Nerima
coffin. Instead she was meet by two people who knew far too much for
met
and spirited off the only person, who might have had some kind of a
person who
the vary Gods that watched over Ranma and Akane. Nabiki smirked at the
very
the key piece to the puzzle. Ranma would bring her back safe and
sound, or Nabiki would see to it he died a slow agonizing death.
I can see Akane blaming Ranma, but it seems odd for Nabiki to
do so, when she was just thinking that Kasumi was the only one who knew
what was going on.
Reid Carson
rcarson@rcarson.com