PLEASE. Private replies.
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What Was I Thinking?!
=====================
An Essay Regarding My Fanfiction Works
by Christopher "God-Boy" Angel
Introduction
------------
Well, I should say a few words before I get into this. This entire essay
was brought upon by a moment of personal reflection over why I write, over
my previous works, over whether I truly want to continue writing. It's also
a way of avoiding having to actually WORK on any of them. Heh.
This paper follows a somewhat chronological history from my first work. Not
exactly, since well, I don't quite remember it all exactly, but hey...it's
close. Also, every once in a while I've "gone down the garden path" a bit,
but it shouldn't be too bad.
Lastly, before we continue - why should you read this? I don't know...a
sense of morbid curiosity perhaps? I found it interesting to write, and I
thought some of you might find it interesting to read.
Oh, yeah, every single fic here (expect for maybe the last mentioned) can be
found at http://angel.megami.net
Phase 1: Ranma 1/2
------------------
It's 1997...July, I think. My very first work, as far as I recall, was a
work entitled _Here We Go Again_. I'm not very proud of this work. Looking
at it from where I am now, it has a lot of problems, not the least of which
was the fact that I was extremely depressed at the time. It's clear to me
now I was not really working with a full deck then...hell, if you find that
the first graphic novel of R1/2 brings you to tears, you know how I was at
the time. *shrug* Oh well. Unfortunately, that really shows in the work.
"Tenno", the character I added was very depressed, angst ridden, and seemed
to be the "aww, poor him" boy.
*
Sidenote:
Yes, I began as a new character author, and still am that way, for the most
part. The reason for this is simple - I find it easier to work that way. I
can "write" interactions and scenes better with the default cast members if
I have at least one character that I'm completely comfortable with on an
intellectual level. Also, at the time for _HWGA_, I was convinced that
those idiots NEEDED outside influences to tip the status quo.
*
After dropping HWGA like it was a hot potato, (which shows in the last
chapter) I tried to start on a new, more "original flavor" work, _Siblings._
I'll say it now, as I said it then: I DID NOT INTEND THAT TO BE A SOLVE
EVERYTHING FIC. It just worked out that way. The romantic in me got away.
I don't know. I'm rather pleased with it up to about...say chapter 8 or 9,
when I start with the "new character, thy role is martyr" bit with Andrew.
By the way...I DON'T CARE if it's a Japanese name. I have two Japanese
friends (who were born in Japan, too) who were given American names as their
real, one-and-only, first name. As for why Andrew? I just feel that
"Andrew Saotome" rolls off the tongue. Where was I? Oh yeah. Anyway, like
I said, I liked the first half...and then I started with the HUGE plot
holes. Ught. I still don't get why that won Best Ranma fic of Nov 1997.
That entire "Oregon Smith and Ryoga the monk" bit was just BAD. Ruined
Indiana Jones movies for me for a year. Probably the thing I loved best
about that whole fic was Tarou. I liked my characterization, and I stand by
my original statement - Ranma and Tarou should have been best friends, and
Tarou and Ukyo make a cute couple. :P
*
Sidenote:
I have another reason for being proud of _Siblings._ I think it was my only
major work EVER that does not have an obvious inspiration. (_HWGA_'s was
rpm's _The_More_Things_Change._)
*
Somewhere in here I also started (and abandoned) a work called _The
Reckoning,_ Inspired by Chesai: Dreams of Darkness (a Ranma fic) and
Sliders, it had a lot going for it. Cute setup, some great lines (and
scenes) and generally a fun fic, in my opinion..well, in my THEN opinion.
2.5 years later, it has to be pointed out that it featured yet another
Shamps/Mousse matching and a Ukyo/new guy matching. I did like the idea of
the Loremasters, and Akane being a "teacher, not a doer." I also liked the
fact I was gonna kill off Ranma, but that's just mean. :)
Phase 2: Oh! My Goddess
-----------------------
It was in the middle of Siblings (near the end) that I began _Oh! My
Brother!_ For the record, that title is INTENTIONALLY that way. Sheesh.
You wouldn't believe how many people tell me it should be "Oh My Brother!"
or "Oh Brother!" or whatever. BLEAH. It's a multi-part joke, which I
refuse to explain. _OMB_ was inspired by a few sources, the most obvious
and least major was Brett Handy's _Oh My God?!_ In fact, the FAR greater
influences were my recent reading of _Undocumented Features_ and various
other Eyrie works, Ed Beccerra's _Legion's Quest_ stuff, _Serendipity_, and
a few others.
*
Sidenote:
Notice a trend? Yes, you guessed it, Self-Inserts. I loved them. I still
love them. They're my favorite type of work. And I KNOW I'm going to get
flamed for this, but some of the best writing I've seen has been in
self-inserts. Say what you will about them, but I find them to be the some
of the most entertaining reads I've seen. I just can't help but get a kind
of excited glee out of reading them...that is, most of them. Some truly
depress me, but I don't feel like getting into specific commentaries.
ANYWAY, I wanted to get in on something like that. Lurker, Andrew Huang,
and Flashman will remember this, I think it was a month or two after this
(after Lurker dubbed me with God-Boy as a nickname...I don't even know why I
still use that) we tried starting up _Otaku Leap_. More on that later.
*
So, after reading all of those great SI's, I looked at Oh My God?! Nice
idea, but I didn't like that whole "romance with Urd" bit. Heck, I'm not
comfortable with that in SI's period. I wanted to try a different spin on
it, and I guess I was still thinking about _Siblings_ a great deal, and
voila! Instant older brother.
I really like the style of OMB. It's my pride and joy of all my works.
It's probably the one I'll never let die, if I can help it. It just has
that FEEL that I'm right there talking to you (or in the later bits, Urd is)
that I like so much. (So much so, I'm using that style here - go figure.)
This fic went on pretty strong until Chapter 7, when I really didn't know
where to go. I began some goofy bit with me going back to my hometown, but
I got very dissatisfied with it, and hence the rewrite of Ch 8+.
Unfortunatly, this also coincided with the start of my "slowdown." More on
that later too.
Phase 3: Sailor Moon
--------------------
Ah, my one and only pure Sailor Moon fic. I like this fic, a lot. Even
though it's a sappy romance. Even though Kaneda/Ares/Crimson is a goofball.
Even though I had Jadeite comeback. Even though I had a COMPLETELY
different history to Sailor Moon than anyone else - hey, I'm the only guy I
know of who set Jadeite up as Sailor Pluto's boyfriend. ^_^ Also I do kind
of feel bad about poor Yuuichiro, I kind of usurped his romance in that
fic...mostly because I didn't know about him.
*chuckle* Perhaps I should explain. At the time (late 1997), I was working
at Nortel as an internship student, and attending the weekly anime showings
at the university. At one of them, they showed a good portion of the most
important bits of early Sailor Moon S....well, basically up to the
appearance of the Grail. They DIDN'T show the episode where Yuuichiro
fights Haruka. I didn't know he existed. Really.
So, I wanted to write a romance for one of the girls. I looked at my
options: Minako - yeah, right. Ami - hmm, would work, I guess, but I had
seen it a few times already in the other works (speaking of which, check out
_Blue Knight_, it was a primary inspiration). She seemed to be fan favorite
for getting a boyfriend - I guess everyone felt bad about Urawa. Makoto -
maybe, but...well, ok, I'll admit it. She scares me. Besides, the
ex-boyfriend bit kind of worried me - that's a little too obsessive for my
tastes. Also, there was that whole public argument I overheard during the
showing about Ami's "talent" as it compares to Makoto's as seen during the
transformation sequences that just BOTHERED me. I couldn't get it out of my
head every time I thought of them. Thus, Rei. Besides, I LIKE her
character. She's a sweet little spitfire and no one seems to give her a
break.
Another interesting note about this fic was it just flowed like water from a
dam. I think it was because it was a) short, and b) planned out in advance.
I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen in every chapter, WELL in advance of
actually putting fingers to keys. I suppose I should have done that for my
later works.
The second part was "planned" over a trip home for Thanksgiving (up here in
Canada, that's in October). I had thought about a "Crystal Tokyo" part, but
wasn't sure about it. I guess I just got so dissatisfied with the
unresolved romance I just HAD to write it out.
Phase 3.5: Otaku Leap
---------------------
It was around then that I tried to recruit Lurker, Flashman, and Andrew
Huang into a collaborative work called _Otaku Leap._ This also happened to
concide with a period of many, many MSTs. Hell, we MST'd MSTs. It was
silly...fun, but silly. People I really remember getting into that were me,
Lurker, Flashman, Andrew, Zen, ummm...Sean Gaffney, rpm, a few others too.
So, the idea was that "us" and our MSTing companions were sucked into
various anime universes and "leapt into" (aka Quantum Leap) into various
anime characters. But "we", the otaku, remembered who we were, and still
had our abilities (Andrew, the "unnoticable man" - heh). Our job was to get
our friends to remember themselves. Key points I remember from that work,
in our first world - Sailor Moon: Lurker, the Tux-boy with PURPLE roses.
Hikaru (the Magic Knight) leaping into Usagi...my mental image of her with
the odango scarred me for weeks. Nanami leaping into...I think it was Naru,
and Andrew as Umino. Trident as Nephrite, Sakura as Minako, Flashman as
Motoki and dressing up as some Sentai guy. Urd as...I think it was Makoto
(fear). Skuld as Ami (fear twice). Me, as Yuuichiro and..........Armor
Knight. *ROTFL*
*sigh* Oh well. I'd still like to do something like that, but Pencils
(Lurker's later attempt) never really turned me on...especially since all
the ideas I had were vetoed - mostly because they sucked, but still....
Phase 4: Evangelion
-------------------
Let me say this now: _Age of Evangelion_ is DEAD, damnit.
Ah, Eva. Source of such contraversy. Source of two somewhat interesting
introspections on my part. Source of _Age of Evangelion._ Such a great
series, until it royally pissed me off. I liked NGE...for the first 20 eps
or so, then I hated it. Actually, to tell the truth, I was really irritated
around 16, but toughed it out. After seeing the whole series, it BEGGED for
a rewrite, my style.
_AoE_ was supposed to be more than a retelling with the 3 main characters
gender reversed. In my mind, it would have changed everything. Gendo would
feel a little more attached to a daughter than he was to Shinji, and would
feel a heck of a lot less attached to a male First Child. The First Child
would have been far more "robotic" - and without anyone who really showed
that they cared, he would become strongly attached to the daughter. (In
place of a glasses scene, I had envisioned a cast scene.) The sexual
tension with Misato would have been gone, in place of a more sisterly
interaction. Besides, I just loved the idea of Oscar Sorryu-Langley - he
would have been such a perfect macho male jerk. I even had an alternate,
more satisfying ending, with that last angel (who's name I can't remember)
and the male clone forming the some "god" or something.
It died, though, for one simple reason. No source material, since my friend
with all the tapes had moved away and I didn't feel like spending my hard
earned money on an anime I wasn't that fond of.
Oh, the main inspiration? Probably Ranma-alt-gender fics, and the Eva flood
on the ML.
Phase 5: Turn the Page
----------------------
And then I had to do a re-read of _Undocumented Feaures_. (Yes, I actually
like that work. I've read it 4 times in the past 3 years.) And then I had
to read _Together Again_ (Davies). And then _Dance of Shiva_ (Biles). And
then.......... Yes, kids, I was inspired. You had to have seen that
coming. Thus came _Turn the Page._
I WILL finish it. This I swear. If it kills me, that fic will be finished,
damnit.
A note about the title. "Turn the Page" is the name of a song by my
favorite band, Rush (album: Hold Your Fire, 1987 - if you liked Presto and
Roll the Bones, you'll like this one). A key portion of it goes:
Every day we're standing
In a time capsule
Racing down a river from the past
Every day we're standing
In a wind tunnel
Facing down the future coming fast
It's just the age
It's justa stage-
We disengage-
We turn the page....
I actually found a lot of Rush songs that seem to work with my mental
"image" of the story, which is why I used that title. All the book
references in the story bits was my own idea. Silly, no?
_TtP_, while not having as many series in the main story as it's
inspirations, does have quite a few more than the 6 or so I listed on its
entry in my web page. But since I had a basic rule I forced upon myself, I
had to ship a lot of them off to other planets or relegate them to minor,
unimportant roles. That basic rule was this: The series as it was
presented in the anime/manga/whatever HAD to be untouched. That's why for
most of them I have moved them in time a little. Ranma 1/2's 38 volumes
happened 1990 or so. Sailor Moon's 3 seasons (I had no Super S or Stars)
happened around the same time, the first season coinciding with Ranma.
Tenchi had his troubles around mid-1990's. Blueseed was in late 90's. NGE
happened..well...2000-2016. Why? I don't really know. I think it was
because the idea of mingling during the "official" stories bothered me. Oh
well.
What makes _TtP_ most interesting to me was the way it's evolved in my mind.
When I started, the villian (Tiamat) was going to be a big-evil-nasty,
nothing more. Then she became a "victim" of the fall of the Moon Kingdom,
20K years ago. Then she became one of the people who helped destroy
it....because Bahamut built it. Now she's something comepletely different.
When I started, I had planned only a very simple universe. Now, it's so
complex I could spend a year doing nothing but writing the main storyline
and side stories I'd never get through it all. When I started, I never
planned to have anyone else write in it. Now, when I finish, I'm hoping to
turn it into an open world, for others to write in (don't hold your breath
for this happening anytime soon, though).
I also find it interesting how I keep on PLANNING to do the background work,
but can never get around to it. I think it's because the damn thing's been
stewing in my head for so long I don't feel I NEED to anymore. I suppose I
should, but...bah.
Right after I let things "flow" for a while, I hit my major stumbling
block...my slowdown.
Phase 6: Tenchi Muyo
--------------------
A long while back (I don't exactly recall where) I wrote my one and only
real script story. It was called _The One_ and was about Washu's decendant
through her long-ago son's line. I don't think it's art, but I kind of like
it, and think it could fit into the OAVs without problems.
Oh well, enough of that. So, sometime around when I was working on TtP, I
started a Tenchi Muyo continuation called Mirai Muyo. It's a Tenchi
continuation where..well, Ryoko does a lot of growing up. It was originally
intended to become a Ryoko gets Tenchi fic, but I don't know now. I like
this work...mostly cause I feel I could write a whole hell of a lot of
stories...if I could come up with ideas, that is.
Oh well.
Phase 7: Welcome to Snailville
------------------------------
I don't know why this happened. It's not due to lack of ideas. It's not
due to lack of time, despite what I've said in the past. At best, the only
real reason I can come up with is...
Lack of anime showings.
Sounds silly, doesn't it? But, it's kind of true. My MAJOR slowdown point
was around April 1998, right after the anime showings at the U of Ottawa
ended. All my writing since then has been post watching anime. I guess
it's just that I need to WATCH it to WRITE it.
You'd think that's an easy solution then, but...I don't know. I guess I
just don't get in the mood to watch anime so much anymore. I love it, and
enjoy it, but I'm not quite so addicted...and that's affecting my writing.
Oh well. I do plan on writing more. I guess I just need to tear myself
from games and actually DO some watching.
Phase 7?: God's Toy
-------------------
Heh, I don't know if this counts as a phase or not. I guess it does. As
I've said before, I like SIs. I like reading and writing them. So I decided
to start writing more. Most noticably...a BGC SI. Yeah, yeah, they've been
done before (Bubblegum Zone, Hopelessly Lost, the Twister Saga, and part of
Mi Vida Loco being the ones I count as notable) but I felt there was some
major things that could be tweaked in them: 1) I still think I have the
only GOOD reason for Sylia to add an SI to the group - Kami-sama said so; 2)
I wanted to do one where those two damn Sexaroids actually DIE for once,
sheesh; 3) I wanted to try one where the SI actually doesn't become a bloody
chew toy (BGZ), or is nigh-unstopable (the other ones).
I also think that my plans for _God's Toy 1.0_ are rather original, and
would be interesting to a lot of people. I just have to get around to
finishing it.
There's also that little collection called _God's Toychest_, a collection of
"starts" of possible God's Toy 2.0s, 3.0s, etc. I like it. It's fun to do,
and they're fun to write. Right now, my current favorite is the MKR one I
had come up with.
Phase 8?: Ranma...again?
------------------------
Full circle, I guess. My latest work, _A Rather Silly Thought_ is yet
another alternate history of the series. I don't want to spill too much of
the story yet, but the idea is to make Tatewaki the romantic center, and see
where it takes me.
Phased Out - Conclusion
-----------------------
I hope you enjoyed this little roam through my works. I did...when I didn't
find it depressing that I've done less in 2 years than I did in 6 months.
I eventually hope to get back into writing again, but hey, I'm a graduate
student now. I don't know about other disciplines, but I'm doing an M.Sc.
in Electrical Engineering, and man, I have no time.
2000-03-24
--
Christopher "God-Boy" Angel