On Sun, 2 Apr 2000, Phil wrote:
Hi!
Meow!
Jason Liao wrote:
[fic snipped]
Very nice story. I can't say that I've seen it before.
I'll just point out the exploding Ukyo line which, while it's extremely funny,
probably needs rewriting. :)
Thank you.
I didn't mean it like that. As I said in response to Kara's C&C, a line
was snipped, which describes her as blocking Shampoo's decending maces
when the flour bomb goes off.
As you can see, not weird at all. Making the story focus Ukyou as Ranma's
cousin is something that I don't recall having been done before, though.
Cousins, and a few other fics have Shampoo as Ranma's cousin, but I find
that highly unlikely, given the animosity many Chinese have for the
Japanese, and the remote location of the Amazon tribe.
It would be more likely for a Japanese national to have this relationship,
wouldn't it? So, why the focus on Shampoo?
I suppose it's one way of removing Shampoo from the fiancee stakes without
killing her. :)
Shampoo: You just HAD to choose that song, didn't you.
Mousse: I didn't mean it, Shampoo! I just wanted us to have fun
singing! I didn't know it was 'The Song That Never Ends'...
I also tried to make Ukyou rail against her fate, as most of these
'Cousins fics' don't seem to add a new dimension to the story, only remove
a fiancee from the race. By keeping Ukyou as a contender, it adds another
potential venue for conflict. Well, making her slightly gone mad does
that too, but still...
Yay! I wouldn't mind seeing more stories of Crazy Ukyo. If you can keep the
Ranma zaniness in the story, it'd be something special.
Heh. It's something to try. Characterization, I'm not too bad with, but
meaningful interaction and development is something I'm trying to work on.
So, I'll have to see.
Hmm. It strikes me as pretty in character so far. You might want to
explain why one of the brothers changed their name upon marrying in
the expansion. I think fight scenes would mostly detract from the
character relationships plot focus. Keep it clean and simple, IMO.
Maybe a bit more on Ukyo's thoughts.
Hmmm...Genma changing his name to Nodoka's has been brought up before, and
I don't know if I want to deal with that. Most likely, I'll just read
some other fic, and steal that explaination, if I have to.
Okay, fight scenes simple? Not a problem. I just wanted to know if
actually not describing the fight at all (as I did above) would work, if
it seems to.
Oh, and as for Ukyou's father's name? I just made up something random.
Maybe some sort of -ma name for Kounji-san to match Genma and Ranma. Oh, and
here's a bit that struck me after I read the story:
That's something I hadn't thought of. Hmmm, I suppose that I'll have to
find a good word to append -ma. I don't think Pocky would work. ^_^
"But, Ranchan, just think about it! By joining our two family lines we could
produce perfect Martial Artist Okonomiyaki Chef offspring!"
Oh! That's a nice line. Maybe I'll use it sometime...
...or maybe I'll have Kenji just teach Ranma Slug-fu. Who knows?
Later!
-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble. A few more shots, then
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode. Ducking around a corner,
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of
my Anime supplier.
One look at his face and I knew that I had been betrayed. "Tell me,"
I insisted. He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance. Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao," he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...