"What make money-girl sure sword-boy want date
spatula-girl?" Shampoo had asked, unceremoniously
wiping her face after devouring the last of her meal.
Nabiki half-wished that she could be so free from
social restraint, but she did have an image to
maintain.
"Oh yeah," Nabiki started sarcastically. "Like it
would be difficult to get Kuno obsessed with someone.
We're not talking about the most intelligent or stable
of people here."
"Money-girl have point," Shampoo agreed.
"He's even more dense than you," Nabiki pointed
out.
"What that mean?" Shampoo demanded crossly.
"Though in your case I'd call hard-headness a
virtue," Nabiki added, trying to save from her earlier
mistake. "You certainly don't give up very easily."
"That right, Shampoo no ever give up," she admitted
reluctantly. Nabiki thought she was trying to decide
if she had been insulted or not. "What if sword-boy
hurt spatula-girl?" Shampoo didn't sound as if this
would necessarily be a bad thing.
"Not likely," Nabiki asserted. "He might pester her
to death, but nothing worse."
Nabiki's mind returned to the present as she walked
out of the diner at a much more sedate pace than Kuno.
Her stride was only broken as she worked to avoid the
sharp broken points of the door Kuno smashed on his
way out.
"Now, if Shampoo did her job..." Nabiki's thought
was interrupted as boy in a familiar yellow and green
outfit floated down from the sky under a red bamboo
umbrella.
"Excuse me," Ryouga started, with a great deal of
resignation. "Do you know how to get to Ucchan's from
her?"
"Follow Kuno," Nabiki suggested, hooking her thumb
towards the rapidly disappearing dust cloud the
samurai was kicking up. "He's on his way to see
Ukyou." Nabiki silently thanked her luck that he had
appeared with such exceptional timing.
"Kuno?!" Ryouga shouted, he was immediately racing
after the would-be samurai, struggling to keep him in
view. "What does that pervert want with Ukyou!" His
last shout carried back to Nabiki as he too vanished
in a cloud of dust. Nabiki didn't want to guess the
odds that Ryouga would actually find his way to
Ucchan's, but at least the trap was set.
Nabiki didn't know that Kuno had been training hard
recently, finally admitting to himself that his
skills needed improvement. He was at least on level
with Mousse now, and much more unstable. In other
words, he was an actual threat to the most of the
Nerima warriors.
"What's that sound?" Ukyou asked no one in
particular. Then the door to her restaurant was
slammed open.
"Oh lovely Ukyou!" Kuno shouted to the recoiling
Okonomiyaki chef. "I, the great Tatewaki Kuno, called
the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, have come to prove
my love to you by freeing you from the clutches of the
vile Ryouga Hibiki. His evil magicks and black magic
spells can not possibly stand before the might of my
blade."
"Shouldn't you be propositioning Akane or
Ranma-Chan or something," Ukyou asked nervously. She
was plastered to the wall, putting as much distance
between herself and Kuno as she possibly could."
"Ah, yes," Kuno stood straight and closed his eyes
as if in remembrance. "My other loves. Akane the
tigress, and the Pig-Tailed Goddess like a wind in the
grass. I still must free them from the vile clutches
of Hibiki's master the evil Ranma Soatome. But I felt
I must also declare my love to you, oh mistress
Kuonji, and test my skills against the lesser sorcerer
before I again whet my blade on Soatome's hide!"
"Ka...mi....sa.....ma....." Ukyou said in
desperation. Then she was out the back door of her
restaurant. "Ryouga!!!! Where on earth are you?!?"
"Wait my love!" Kuno shouted as he followed. "I
have a poem in which my love for you is declared!!
Wait I say!"
"KUNO! What are you doing to Ukyou?!?" Ryouga
demanded, as he tried to get the newspaper out of his
face.
"Qu'est que vous avez besoin?" the person in front
of him asked nervously, with a forced nasal sound due
to the umbrella under his nose.
"Oh, Vous n'etes pas Kuno," Ryouga noted before
pulling back his umbrella and scratching his head in
embarrassment. He reminded himself not to shout at
Mousse so much next time the blind boy made a mistake.
"Er....Ou est Japon?"
"C'est japon," the man said.
"Pourquoi est-ce que vous parlez en francais?"
Ryouga asked.
"Je suis une tourist," the man insisted. "Je ne
parle pas en japonais."
"Oh, je regrette," Ryouga said. "Au revoir." Ryouga
went back to running and looking for Ucchan's. "Damn
it, I know it's around here somewhere."
"You..."
"WHY...."
*CLANG*
"...must..."
"....DON'T....."
*CLANG*
"...not..."
"....YOU...."
"...be..."
*CLANG*
"...my fair..."
".....STAY...."
*CLANG*
"...Ukyou..."
"....DOWN?!?!?!?"
*CLANG*
"Merely...." *CLANG* "...a false demon..." *CLANG*
"...sent to torment me." *CLANG* "Very well...."
*CLANG* "Then I shall fight as well!"
"AAAAGH!!! STAY DOWN!"
"Well?" Nabiki asked as she answered the phone.
"Spatula-girl walked out on pig-boy," Shampoo said
on the other end.
"Good," Nabiki laughed. "That's what I was planning
on happening."
"Strange way to make match," Shampoo commented.
"You?"
"Ryouga is off chasing Kuno who is off chasing
Ukyou."
"Me no pay you rest until spatula-girl give up on
Airen."
"Don't worry, Kitty" Nabiki assured her. "I have
everything under control."
=====
"Caffeinated Kender? What's that, a berserk spell?" -
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
Signed
He of Too Many Names (Thrythlind/Thryth/Luke/Hyperbole/Pika/Pooka)
http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html
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