The Amazon and the Moneylender: Episode 6, Part 1:
Errors in Judgement.
"Baksai Tenketsu Wave" was created for Ryouga by the
author of The More Things Change and The Pursuit of
Happiness I'm just borrowing it.
------------------------------------------------------
"Are you certain this plan will work?" Kodachi
asked irritably. "It has been tried before."
"Yes but we're not delivering the food," Mousse
pointed out. "We'll just drop the drug into whatever
they are drinking or eating at the moment."
"This is so childishly simple," Kodachi hmphed. "I
don't see how it can possibly work."
"Do you have a better idea?"
"Not at the moment," Kodachi admitted. "But when
this plan of your fails I'll be sure to remind you of
this."
"I'm so thrilled." As they leaped away two couples
stepped out from behind a wall.
"They're going to feed Shampoo a love potion?"
Hiroshi and Daisuke stared at each other a moment and
started off toward the Cat Caf�.
"Where do you think you two are going!" Sayuki
shouted.
"Oh let them go, we'll just call ahead from those
pay phones over there," Yuka pointed.
"Hello, you've reached the Tendo dojo," Kasumi
answered the phone. "Kodachi?"
"OHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"I think I hear her coming, love potion? Okay I'll
tell him, thank you." She put the phone down, and saw
Akane passing. "Oh Akane, Yuka says that Kodachi is
going to try to slip some sort of love potion in
Ranma's food."
"A what?!?"
"Yes it makes them fall in love with the first
person they see for a few hours I think." Akane
blanched and ran into the dining room.
"Ranma!! Don't eat anything!" She yelled as she
entered into the dining room, just in time to see him
taking a big bite with Kodachi watching eagerly.
Thinking fast Akane wrapped a handkerchief over his
eyes.
"Akane? What?"
"Yuka just called, she slipped something into your
food." Ranma slumped.
"Not another love potion. I thought she said that
she had stopped doing this."
"You, Akane Tendo," Kodachi had produced her ribbon
and was getting ready to fight. "How dare you impugn
my honor and cast such aspersions on my name? I,
Kodachi Kuno the Black Rose of St. Hebereke Girl's
School am above such dishonorable tricks."
"Okay, that convinced me," Ranma muttered leaning
his blindfolded head in his hand.
"How dare you, you are a guest in this house!" Soun
declared, despite the fact her brother hadn't turned
up she still hadn't gone back to her family's estate.
"I PAY RENT!!" Akane looked at her father.
"She's not serious is she?" Ranma asked. Soun and
Genma looked embarrassed.
"Excuse me," Genma noted. "But she is still trying
to drug you're beloved Ranma with a love potion."
"Give it a rest and stop pushing, Pop."
"Well, Akane Tendo, shall we settle this slander
here and now?" Akane orbit kicked the gymnast through
the roof. "CHEEAAPPP SHOTTT!!!!!"
"Now what's this about charging her rent?"
"Well, Akane, you know we need the money."
"We're sheltering her from that pig of a brother of
hers, and you CHARGE her for it?" Soun burst into a
shame filled wail as Genma shrugged.
"Now, I understand where Nabiki gets it," Ranma
muttered. Everybody shifted nervously knowing that
Nabiki was still gone to wherever she had left two
weeks ago.
"Sometimes I wonder who the adults are here," Akane
muttered.
"You're late, boy," Cologne commented as Mousse
walked into the Cat Caf�.
"Maybe if you actually paid me, I'd be here on
time." The phone ringed.
"Don't push your luck boy, Cat Caf�. Love Potion? I
see, would you hold please," Cologne turned to see
where Shampoo was eating her lunch, of course Mousse
was right where she'd see him first. Moments later
Mousse was through the roof and there was a bag over
Shampoo's head.
"Hey!"
"Why put bag over head?" Shampoo started to take it
off when her great-grandmother thumped her on the
head. "Oww!"
"Mousse slipped some love potion in your food, so
leave the bag on for now."
"He what? Grrr�stupid Mousse." Cologne picked up
the phone again.
"I assume the Kuno girl is attempting something
similar at the Tendo dojo? I thought as much. Thank
you." She hung up the phone and picked it back up and
dialed. "Kasumi Tendo? I assume Kodachi has already
been and gone? Good, I'm bringing Shampoo over, I
think we should pool our resources for when those two
come back."
Ukyou heard the phone ring again and rolled her
eyes.
"Almost found it!" Ukyou flipped her soon to be
Okonomiyaki and restrained herself from glaring at the
amused costumers. Then phone ringed for maybe the
tenth time. "I'm getting closer!" Ryouga's voice came
from the storage area somewhere. The phone rang.
"Kamisama! You started five feet from it!"
The phone rang and cut off.
"Found it!"
"Finally," Ukyou grumbled, rapid cooking another
okonomiyaki.
"Akane wants to know if we can come over to the
dojo," Ryouga called.
"Why?" Ukyou asked, suspiciously. She remained a
little jealous of Akane Tendo.
"Guard duty, Kodachi and Mousse slipped some sort
of drug into Ranma and Shampoo's food."
"A love potion I guess," she mumbled to herself,
then called back. "I guess we can pop by after we
close Ucchan's."
Ken woke up as soon as he felt something cold and
sharp pressed against his throat. He rolled his eyes
up to look into the face of a rather anger looking
woman leaning over him. She looked somewhat familiar,
but the sun behind her drowned out the details of her
face.
"Where do I know you from?" he asked, not in the
least worried.
"Where did you learn about that drug?" she
demanded.
"Drug? You mean the Breath of Nightmares?" The girl
pressed her blade down a little harder.
"It�s a family secret, so what are you doing with
it?" Her head moved and obscured the sun, revealing
more of her face.
"The girl from the airplane," he laughed.
"Following me all the way to Jusenkyo?"
"You've caused my family a lot of trouble, I'd
follow you over the world if I had to." She had
actually heard him mention Jusenkyo, cut ahead and had
been waiting for the last two days, but he didn't need
to know that.
"Your family?" he asked, then noticed some of the
make-up giving her the tan was dried and flaking off.
Her hair was longer as well, and only partially blonde
in places. His eyes narrowed, "You. A little out of
your depths, aren't you? You're deadly as a plotter,
Nabiki, not so good at fighting."
"I have things fairly well in hand at the moment."
Ken laughed and rolled over, letting the knife stab
past his neck and into the ground. Nabiki didn't have
time to do more than start to react. Then she was
under Ken.
"Do you? Looks fairly bad for you right now." The
knife came out of the ground and laid against her
face. "Now what were you planning to do with this?"
Nabiki spit in his face.
"Why Shampoo chained to chair?" the blue-haired
girl demanded angrily.
"Look at this, you've got me agreeing with
Shampoo!" Ranma shouted from the next room.
"Until whatever drug the Kuno girl put in your
ramen wears off," Cologne answered simply, then
lifting her bowl up to drink some of the broth held in
it. "Or until the son-in-law agrees to my plan."
"Is good idea!" Shampoo agreed vehemently.
"NOT A CHANCE!" Akane and Ranma shouted
simultaneously.
"What harm would it do for Shampoo and Ranma to be
drugged into loving each other when they already do."
"I think you're wrong on two fronts there," Ukyou
mumbled, she was sitting quite a bit out of Shampoo's
possible line of sight.
"The plan has merits," Soun agreed. "Even if the
old girl has the wrong pair in mind. What do you say
Genma?"
"Yes perhaps Akane and Ranma should cement their
true love with this drug." Ranma almost retorted,
fortunately Akane beat him to the punch, shouting from
the room with the girls.
"How can you call it true love if it comes out of a
chemical!"
"What she said!" Ranma agreed.
"Shampoo kill crazy-girl and stupid-Mousse!" She
hopped up and down in the chair she was chained to as
she declared this.
"I'll help you there!"
"Maybe tomorrow," Ukyou told her, jabbing at her
bowl of ramen and wishing it was an okonomiyaki. She
narrowed her eyes, "Why haven't I heard Ryouga in
there recently?"
"I believe he left to get a soda," Soun called
back. "Though that was quite a while ago."
"HE WHAT!?!"
"Where did they move that blasted kitchen?" Ryouga
scratched his head and turned about to get a fix on
his location. At least that's what he called it.
"A WILD BOAR!! A WILD BOAR IS COMING!!"
"What?" Ryouga looked behind him in time to see a
terror stricken pig stop about ten feet away from him
and then start running in panic the other way. "Oh
no�Ukyou's going to kill me."
"Hey, that kid is back. Are you still looking for
Furinkan High?" At about that point Ryouga's newest
piece of travelling gear started ringing at his side,
he hesitantly grabbed the phone and held it to his
ear.
"Hello?" he asked nervously.
"RYOUGA-NO-BAKA!!" the townspeople around Ryouga
jumped a step back as Ukyou's enraged voice coming
over the mobile phone.
"And who do we target first," Mousse asked Kodachi.
"Perhaps we should start with Shampoo," Kodachi
suggested.
"Why her, you finally have Ranma where you want
him."
"It's Ranma," he looked at her. "How many times has
he fallen for this trick."
"It is not wise too delay, Saotome and Akane have
been getting much closer since the Copycat Ken
incident."
"My Ranma-Darling would never fall such
a�a�common�girl."
"Saotome is much more common and banal than she
is."
"Hmph, the way your lovely Shampoo keeps moping
about and sniping at that usurer, one would almost
think that's her direction of interest."
"How dare you even suggest that!"
"Have I, perhaps struck to close to home?" Mousse's
eyebrows arched angrily behind his glasses.
"Oh and your cross-dressing love is the epitome of
manliness?"
"Cross-dressing?! Why, I never!"
"Don't you know a Jusenkyo curse when you see one?"
"What the devil are you talking about?"
"Let's just trigger the love potions and argue
about this later."
"Yes, we'll take them both at once."
"So Shampoo and Ranma have been given love potions,
huh?" Both martial artists looked down to see
Happosai. "Looks like its time to give Ranma a little
bath?" He rubbed his palms together and smiled
perversely, then he leapt off towards the dojo.
"Ladies here I come!"
"Happosai?"
"Is that old pervert man voice?"
"Hmm this just got a little bit more complicated
didn't it?"
"What�s the old freak doing there!!"
"What is the master ever doing anywhere?"
"Ahh!! What did he do that for?"
"North, Ryouga, North!"
"Isn't us arguing how the rest of them learned
about this plan?" Kodachi asked, genuinely curious.
"Stop the freak, get Shampoo and Ranma to fall in
love with us, then argue." Mousse leaped off the roof
and towards what was about to be total chaos. "Don't
worry Shampoo, I'll save you from that wretched
troll." Kodachi shrugged and followed.
"Ranma-Darling, it is Kodachi your love!
OHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
"Old freak get off Shampoo!"
"Akane dear, I'm so happy to see you!"
"Die, old man!"
"Aaackk!"
"Take the third fork Ryouga, the third fork!"
"Don't worry Shampoo I'm here to save you, aren't
you supposed to be in that chair blindfolded?"
"Let go of me, boy, I'm�.not that way!"
"KAMISAMA! I swear the only place you don't get
lost is our bed!" The chaos stopped, everybody looked
towards the oblivious Ukyou, even those that still
couldn't see.
Ryouga blinked and pulled the phone away from him
for a moment and looked at it. Then he cautiously put
it back to his ear.
"Ukyou, where are you?"
"The Tendo dojo with�every�one�.else. Excuse me,
I'll call right back." She hung up on him, for once he
actually preferred his current position to hers.
Ukyou turned beat red and turned to face everybody
else.
"Heh�heh�.I didn't just say that out loud, did I?"
"Out with it girl," Happosai chuckled. "We want all
the sordid details." Happosai was hit with multiple
orbit kicks and was for the moment no longer a
problem. Kodachi gestured to Mousse while the others
were distracted.
"Always knew spatula girl tramp," Shampoo declared
unaware of the pair sneaking up around her.
"I'm not a tramp!"
"Is not married, is tramp!"
"You're one to talk you�"
"Hey what do you think you're doing!" Akane rammed
Mousse out of the way as Kodachi was removing the
blind fold from Shampoo's eyes and Mousse was working
on the chains.
"Finally, Shampoo no wear stupid�Shampoo never
notice how beautiful Akane is." For the second time
all sound battle ceased. She leaped from the chair,
glomped Akane. "Wo ai ni."
"Shampoo what do you think you're�mmph?!!?" Akane
was silenced by Shampoo's kiss. Suddenly Akane
understood exactly how Ranma felt when Sanzenin had
kissed him.
"Good thing the master isn't still here," Genma
commented.
"What's that psycho doing to Akane!!!" Ranma-Chan
shouted angrily.
"Sh-Shampoo?" Mousse fainted.
"Hey you�unhand my daughter!" Soun launched an
attack and forced Shampoo back.
"You is obstacle and obstacles is for killing!"
Shampoo declared as she launched forward at Soun.
Ukyou noticed Kodachi trying to sneak off towards
where Ranma was and stopped her with a slice of the
spatula. Akane just stared blankly in shock, hair
standing on end in places, and pupils shrunk to pin
pricks.
"Kodachi, this is your mess," Ukyou was glad the
attention was off her suddenly. "Perhaps you can help
fix it."
"Me, how could I help you?"
"Sleep powders? Perhaps?" Genma suggested.
"I see, that might be a good idea." She handed
Ukyou two packages. The chef stared at the gymnast
doubtfully. "Mousse suggested I cut down."
"I wonder why I didn't think of that before?"
Cologne asked herself as Ukyou blew some powder into
Shampoo's face.
"But Shampoo no want to sleep, Shampoo want
to�zzzz."
"Hmm it must have been just a general love potion,"
Cologne noted calmly, outwardly only a little
concerned.
"Uhh�.Sure!! That's it!" Ukyou agreed after a
moment.
"What's happenin�zzz" Ranma-chan started before
Genma tossed sleep powder into his face as well.
"This was certainly unexpected." Kodachi noted
blandly. Akane blinked and then screamed, exiting the
room long enough to retrieve a bokken from the main
dojo.
"SHE'S GOING TO PAY!!"
"Whoah, Akane," Akane stared at Ukyou for a moment.
"It was a love potion, his fault." The okonomiyaki
chef pointed at the reawakening Mousse.
"You're right," Akane agreed apologetically, before
suddenly filling up on rage again and beating on
Mousse until he blacked out again. "That'll teach
him."
"Owww�" came the blind martial artist's
semi-conscious groan from beneath her. Fortunately for
Mousse Akane had deliberately held back from causing
real damage, just lots of pain.
"I told him this wouldn't work from the beginning,"
she sniffed. Akane glared at her.
"And what makes you think you're getting off this?"
Akane snapped. "You were after Ranma after all."
"He loves me already, what do I need drugs for?"
Akane rolled her eyes as she walked out of the room,
almost stalking.
=====
"Caffeinated Kender? What's that, a berserk spell?" -
Tribble, Kender Warrior of the Celestial Kingdom
Signed
He of Too Many Names (Thrythlind/Thryth/Luke/Hyperbole/Pika/Pooka)
http://members.aol.com/thrythlind/snake.html
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