----- Original Message -----
From: "David Bateson" <majorb@one.net.au>
To: "Damien Hailey" <samas_1@hotmail.com>; <vg_ap@yahoo.com>;
<arthurh@utah-inter.net>
Cc: <ffml@fanfic.com>
Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2000 3:46 AM
Subject: [FFML] Re: [Ranma][Draft] Birthright
Since I gav him the idea, I may as well make the first response as to why
I
came up with it.
Hmm. Rather unconvincing plotline, I must admit.
Akane, better than Ranma, training at home? Very, very
hard to swallow. Even if she went on a same training
trip as he did, I doubt she would be as good as him;
she doesn't seem as talented.
I agree, canon Akane isn't as talented as and makes no serious effort to
match Ranma, however You are not waiting to be told what the change in the
backstory is.
Well the thing that no one is bringing up is the fact that whatever the
backstory proves to be, the story is showing signs of being a Paragon type
story, that is a story where whatever the change in the backstory left Akane
an expert at almost everything with no real flaws. Not that Paragon stories
can't be done well, if you've seen the latest Buffy with "JONATHAN" you know
what I mean.
There was an story idea posted some months ago that put forward the
concept
of Akane being a half-demon from an unfortunate encounter her mother once
had. If this author has something similiar in mind it would not have been
revealed yet.
There has to be a reason why Soun pushed Akane this hard, and it may well
be
the reason Soun is described as being a skilled martial artist capable of
beating Akane, something completely beyond canon Soun. Remember, canon
Soun
lost to canon Akane quite early on and was effectively never seen in the
dojo again.
Well, it's not as much just her as it is her father as well. Soun's been
pushing Akane just as hard, if not harder, than Genma's been pushing
Ranma.
That was the major premise of the Idea I had.
Unfortunately this premise is seriously compromised by the lifestyle
difference. For ten years the only constants to Ranma's life were his
father and Martial arts. Akane however has had a lot of other things to
distract her from absolute dedication to the art, and the fact that she's a
good student means that she did let herself get distracted.
Which means that either Soun's teaching skills have been improved by
several orders of magnitude, or Akane is now the most inherantly gifted
martial artist on earth.
Now I'm not saying that the explination for this super amplified ability
might not prove reasonable. The explination for Gohan's ability was
reasonable. But that doesn't change the fact that if it hadn't taken so
long for Gohan's ability to thrust him to the pinacle, he'd be number one on
my list of characters who ought to be tossed into a black hole.
The WHY of the pushing is a key ingredient in making the story acceptable.
But then it needs to be revealed in an appropriate manner at a suitable
point. The 2 ways of approaching this are:
1 - Explain all in Chapter #1 and then explore the ramifications of the
change.
2 - Show the differences and reveal hints about what has changed.
This author has obviously chosen method 2, a move that (IMHO) offers more
potential to the story but is usually much harder to write.
Your right about slow development being more difficult and often more
rewarding, but the simple fact is that stories work if the characters are
sympathetic, if they start off with "All the virture that I abhore, and none
of the vices that I admire," then by the time you reveal that they do have a
few redeaming vices, those folk who haven't decided to stop reading are
going to be very scheptacle. There's no need to reveal everything at once,
just enough to get the readers guessing and wondering.
The point here seems that if Akane was as good as
Ranma, they would get along very well. I must
disagree; if Ranma was beaten by a girl who lived a
relatively normal life (at least, compared to his
upbringing), then he probably would get frantic to
surpass her (skipping school, training day and night,
or even attempting to master Neko-ken); I can't see
him being friendly to her. If anything, fear or
hostility is much more likely.
Forget the fear, if there's not
Ranma came back and defeated her the next day, after spending the night
planning, and the early morning practicing. It's more of a rivalry
between
the two. It's basicaly from the belief I developed that Ranma really
needs
a girl who can kick his ass. As she is in the original series, Akane can
do
that occasionally, but only when she's mad. Yes, every time Akane Beats
Ranma, He's gonna push himself harder, come back, and beat her. Then
Akane's gonna come back and beat him again. Then Ranma's gonna beat
her...
it's a vicious cycle. And since Ranma doesn't like hitting girls, he's
either gonna have to change that, or come up with some imaginative ways
of
stopping Akane without hurting her.
The Rivalry between the two would definately be there, and it would colour
everything else in their "relationship". And I must agree with the
critics
here, the author seems think a friendly rivalry would develop where the
source material shows that Ranma is normally NOT friendly towards his
rivals (Ryouga being the main exception, and Ranma initially thought of
him
as an old friend - and Ranma can be fairly nasty to Ryouga at times
regardless).
More to the point, Ranma is not very friendly with his rivals-While they
actually are rivals. He generally tries to be nice to anyone who's not
actively competing with him, but once the compitition starts, Ranma will do
almost anything to take down his opponent. Unless Ranma proves that he can
consistantly outfight Akane, there is not going to be anything friendly
about their rivalry. Ranma will want to take down that talented amature,
and however much self control Akane has, she's going to retaliate. Ranma's
very good at bringing out a desire to retaliate.
And Ranma does fear her, a little bit, anyway.
Why? As at the end of chapter #1 Ranma has reason to respect and be wary
of
Akane's ability, but I strongly disagree with the idea that she has given
him any reason to fear her. If beatings could instill fear in Ranma then
over the course of the training trip Ranma would almost certainly have
become terrified of Genma, something that is manifestly not the case even
in
this story.
Fear is not something Ranma feels much about anything except cats.
Of course if the author is thinking of something that has not yet been
shown...
But this Akane has learned a
lot of self-control, something the original Akane lacks. Akane is
actually
trying to be civil here, eliminating a lot of their earlier problems,
which,
as much as I like Akane, I realize are mostly her own fault.
As a minor quibble, my personal opinion is that the causes of Ranma and
Akanes problems with each other can be fairly evenly divided between them,
with an sizable amount left over for the other cast members. But opinions
on canon relations don't really matter here. The authors opinion is noted
and will be taken into account where required.
I would agree. One of my biggest problems with the whole alternate
fiancee stories is the fact that they don't acknoledge the fact that if
Ranma spends any real period of time with anyone, they'll want to hit him
for some reason.
The biggest
problems Ranma and Akane had in their relationship centered on their
first
two encounters: Ranma beat Akane in the sparring match, and then Akane
walks in on him before the curse had been explained. Now, Akane still
sees
him as a bit of a pervert, but no longer resents him for always being
better
than her. Akane was the undisputed best martial artist in Nerima until
Ranma came along, making her look like an ametuer, then drawing others
after
him and quickly dropping her far from the top. This Akane doesn't have
that
problem, so that removes a big part of the animostity the original felt
for
Ranma, and gives her respect for him as a Martial artist of equal,
greater,
or lesser level(depending on who last beat who). They're only really
friendly to each other when it evens out between them, and when one of
them
upsets the balance, they get more like their original selves. But
there's
still that measure of respect for each other.
The problem is even if their fighting on even terms, Akane's still
clearly Ranma's superior, because Ranma's only good at Martial Arts while
Akane's good at everything.
You misjudge Ranmas ego here. He is only inclined to be friendly when he
believes he is in front. You could well be right about Akane, but if
Ranma
pushes Akane will push back.
And of course problem is that in the origional, compaired to Ranma Akane
is an amature. And in this story, she is in the same situation, it's just
that some small changes have sudenly catapulted her skill deep into the pro
level. Which is the reason there all this debate.
Sorry for negative comments, but I really found
it unbelievable.
As it stands, the story is best considered "unlikely", judgement on
"unbelievable" should be reserved until after the root change(s) have come
to light.
Hmm, I'd rate the story "very unlikely", and whatever the root change
is, it's something that
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"The Major" | "Funny Games, Strange Cartoons, Confusing
David Bateson | Computers and too many Books! No
| wonder you're weird."
majorb@one.net.au | - My Sister.
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