Ronny Hedin <thark@mangakai.org> wrote:
Well, my opinions on this series is pretty much the same as it's been
before, I guess. Very smooth flowing writing, but the plot doesn't really
grip me all that much.
Future chapters will make some of the plot twists clear, and maybe
that'll help. Or not. Anyhow, I'm glad it interests you enough to keep
up with it, at least so far.
I do like the inner conflicts among the Ranma
casts, and of course some of hints given here make me desire to know
what's behind all this. Well characterized, as I'd expect from you.
Thanks. ^_^
Write faster. (what, hippocracy, me?) ^_^
I'll do my best. However, you can note how long it's already taken me
just to answer this C&C. :)
Yes, I'm still writing this. Only half a chapter this time, but better
than nothing, no? :)
If you can't do it full-heartedly, don't do it at all! Dammit! You
suck!"�!�"#%!"#
*WHAP*
err.
ignore that. ^_^
* The village referred to as "Zhiwu" previously is now called
"Yaocaicun," as this appears to be a canon name for it. Doing
translations for the Ranma project at <ranmascan.dhs.org> has paid off.
:)
Huh?
You've forgotten ranmascan.dhs.org, your source for Ranma 1/2
translations?
"Trust me, it'd be quicker for him to find the ones who *aren't*
responsible. What did you expect, 'General?' You surely know the Amazons
quite well. Did you really think that they would lay down and surrender
themselves to you simply because you've killed a few of them?"
I'd write "Surely, you know", but that might just be me.
Will think about it. (But then there'd have to be Airplane references
galore. "Of course I knew they wouldn't. And stop calling me Shirley!
^_^)
It's a cliche thing to say, but I like what you're doing with the "bad
guy" grunts.
Thanks. I'm trying to make these guys believably-motivated and not just
bad because they're bad.
his eyes with a blindfold. Evidently, they didn't want to take any
chances chance that he might be able to locate their camp, or whatever
chances chance?
Oops. Wonder how that one slipped by.
Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Move forward, and don't make a
sound." Sharply-edged, her words were a knife held against his throat.
Trying to escape now would be fatal. His chance would come later.
"Sharply-edged" sounds a bit awkward IMO.
I'll have to think about it. I had it without the hyphen before, and one
of my prereaders suggested putting it in.
The mercenary grinned, his smile accented by his thin moustache.
"I bet you've already done your husbandly duties with her, right?"
"I've taken out her garbage, yeah." That wasn't what he'd meant,
of course, but what business was it of his anyway?
*laugh*
Thank Vince for the garbage here. (Um, you know what I mean. :p )
*This is your fault, Tendo Akane. You could've ignored Kodachi's
baiting. You let her anger get the better of you, and now gods only know
what the consequences will be. After being married for six years, are
you still so insecure that the thought of your husband paying attention
to another woman shuts down your brain?*
Who's thoughts is this? Akane's own? It took a second of thought - enough
to break concentration - to realize so; too sudden a switch.
Yeah, it's Akane's. I need to make this clearer.
on the ground below it. Gasoline, from the smell of it. Ranma wondered
why hitting the tank hadn't made it explode, the way it always seemed to
in the movies.
No, see - that's only American cars; they take a shitload of damage
without showing any signs of it, then suddenly explode when going over a
certain limit. I think they're manufactured based on some sort of hitpoint
system.
Actually, it happens when the warranty runs out. :)
in some cases. Just the thing to soften them up for the impending
battles, Akane thought, and she winced at her choice of words.
Huh?
Just my ever-so-subtle attempt at scatological humor....
"Maybe." And he could call it the Bakusai Tank-ketsu, Hikaru
I see you haven't changed. ^_^
And why should I? :)
--
... wot, it's over already? Felt like a very short 34k...
I've got more of it written already, and hopefully the full chapter
should hit the list in the next couple of weeks.
As always, the comments are much appreciated!
Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html