In the theater:

Brian: <sits with his feet up on the chair in from of him, obviously in a good mood.>

<Nicole, Yui, and Natsumi walk in>

Nicole: Oi! Why the urgent page, boss?

Yui: Yeah, we're MSTing that Eva fic tomorrow, what's the emergency?

Brian: Just sit down, ladies.  There's someone who just came back who you have to meet.  <eg>

Nicole: <raised eyebrow> Is this something we're gonna regret?

Brian: Hmmmm....nope.

Nicole: <mutters> When he says that, I just know we're in for it.

<The ladies sit>

Brian: <to projection booth> ROLL IT!!

At 01:30 PM 04/20/2000 -0600, you wrote:

[In the darkness, a computer sits. Waiting for it's user to come and fulfill it's purpose. A figure steps up and sits in a chair, sets everything to completion.]

"Hisashiburi, ne? (It's been a while, hasn't it?)" says the man. He takes a minute to think about how long it has been since he had been here. "Nagai sugimasu.(Too long.)" He whispers to no one.

With a smile, he begins to type out what one would think is a good re-introduction.

 <The sound of ominous thunder>

  Nicole: Why am I suddenly not liking this?

  Yui: You too?

*****

As comet seared through the clouds towards the unsuspecting citizens of the FFML, the monster within could not help but smirk at all the evilry it would commence.

  Nicole: <blink> "Evilry"?  Is that a word?

*****

Taking a moment to think about that, he looked up and pronounced, "LAME!" Then, with skilled precision, he erases the first message and begins to try once more.

*****

From the shadows, a man's face begins to appear. The light within the room only reveals half of his face as he speaks with a decidedly british accent,

"Be afraid. Be very aftraid!" Above him, a screen opens up to show a horrid, computerized, human-shaped monster that only the darkest, most hideous of dreams would dare compose.

  Yui: <deadpan> Oh, yay. Look guys, the wizard of Oz.

  Brian: <chuckle>

  Nicole: <raised eyebrow>

"When it was thought that this evil creature was destroyed two years ago, it's conciousness escaped into the internet; and now, it's wicked presence is multiplying rapidly!" The man looks directly into your eyes as the nightmare-ish creature vanishes and is replaced with the image of a human-like white wolf, a regal looking Tybalt, and several more soldiers.

  Natsumi: <whisper> Didn't Tybalt resign?

  Brian: Hey, he's been gone for a couple of years, give him a break!

  Nicole: How would you know that?

  Brian: Sora wa hitmitsu desu.

  Nicole: <sigh> Should've known.  Fireball!

  Brian: <krispy kritters>

"You and the other brave warriors of the FFML must put down this evil creature's reign once and for all."

The screen switches again to show the same White wold from before slashing apart a ghost and demon with one stroke.

  Brian: Psst, WH?  It's "wolf"

"And so, we're giving you more power..."

A man clad in a purple and heavily armed power-suit turns to shower several armored monsters with laser and blaster fire.

"...and mightier weapons..."

A man with a god-like countenence flies through seveal swinging blades, spiked balls, razor-toothed doors, to the end of his current corridor.

"...in a much bigger world. All created from the dark side of this foul creature's subconcious."

The screen turns off and vanished. The man turns to you again.

"So... it's destroy..." you now see both his eyes glowing red as his voice becomes almost threatening, "...or be destroyed!"

                      FIC WARS 2
                   Not coming anytime soon to a fanfic, or any kind of video game system near you.

*****

The man snickers at that one, but it is not enough! It needs something more... but what? With his limited capacity, not much could be brought to pass.

With a sigh, he decided to let himself be known before this would get too out of hand.

  Nicole, Yui, and Natsumi: Too late.

  Brian: Wait for it...

*****

The group of animates had heard that 'he' had returned. If that was true, they had to make sure that he was stopped before he would do anything. If not, the damage he could create was beyond calculation. 'He' had to be stopped.

Entering the main chamber, they saw a figure sitting on a throne at the other end. The chamber itself was hardly lighted, yet with the little amount of light, they beheld piles and piles of books; all full of information that 'he' would use to bring them misery.

  Brian: Been doing a little research, ne?

  Nicole: Huh?

Aside from that, there appeared to be a small rumbling that would never go away. Whether it was an earthquake or not, it mattered little. Ranma and the others had to put a stop to this. Yet, a misplaced step made a pile of hard-backed books to fall over, causing them to scramble for hiding places as the armor-covered figure in the throne began to stir. They knew of his strength, and they needed as much advantage as possible.

As the knight in the throne stirred, above his person, a red spotlight appeared above him and he grumbled, "Well, thieves. I can smell you, feel your air and ki. Apart from that, I can hear your breathing and heart-beats."

His voice echoed deeply throughout the chamber, "Go on... take what you want... there's enough to go around."

Trying, and failing, to disguise his voice, Ranma replied quietly, "Oh, we didn't come to take anything. We just wanted to see if you were as great as what some people said."

  Nicole: Oi! NEVER taunt the villain!

  Brian: Especially this one. <grin>

  Nicole: Again, and with good effect: huh?

With a sarcastic smirk, the knight growled, "You are well mannered for a liar. So... tell me. Who are you and where do you come from?"

With some quick thinking, Ranma gave as vague as an explanation as he could give about himself. (This is due to the author being a dummy)

  Natsumi: <Ruri impression> Baka.

"Is that so? Well, I've guessed your riddle, RANMA!" The knight growled, his eyes beginning to glow a gentle red. "You and the rest of the animates will pay dearly for this intrusion! Trying to take my things!" He then stood up and began to search the room from his intruders, the red searchlight following his gaze.

"Wait! Wait! You don't understand, that's not the reason why!" He replied quickly.

"Be done with your lies! WHAT ELSE BROUGHT YOU FEMBOY!" the knight roared.

'Revenge!'

With surprise, the knight's eyes narrowed in confusion. "Revenge?"

  <As do the girls>

  Nicole: Revenge for what?

  Brian: A whole lotta things.

"Oh you know why! With all that you're planning to do, why not?" Ranma replied.

The group, each one in their own hiding place, began to realize that something was wrong. The rumbling in the room was not any kind of geological disturbances... it was laughter. It was 'his' laughter that was shaking the room. The figure at the other side of the room was just an illusion. As the knight revealed it's true self, they also discovered that the 'searchlight' was actually his eyes!

With horrible, terrifying, majesty; the armored-covered monstrocity stood to reveal all fifty feet of itself.

  Nicole, Yui, and Natsumi: EEEP!!!! <Pull out swords and make ready for attack>

  Brian: <sits back and grins>

"REVENGE?! YOU!? HA!" He boomed, pulling out his weapon from nowhere.
                    "I AM WARHAMMER!"

He turned to the side of the chamber and continued, "I KILL WHO AND WHEN I WISH." He began to strike the ceiling,"BECAUSE I AM STRONG! THAT IS WHY!"

He turned to the front again, facing them all,"MY ARMOR IS MIGHTIER THAN A THOUSAND MAGIC SHIELDS! MY TEETH ARE SHARPER THAN SWORDS! MY HANDS CRUSH THE VERY MOUNTAINS THEMSELVES! MY FLIGHT CAPABILITY CREATES HURRICANES!" With that, a single massive thruster grew from his back and burst forth a gale force wind.

  Nicole: Oi, and your ego is bigger than the Galaxy!

  <A Tekkaman plushie falls on her>

  Nicole: Oi!! <spins on Brian> Did you do that!?!

  Brian: <waving hands> No, no I didn't!!

When the wind settled, his opened hand revealed a large red sphere. "AND MY POWER..."he turned upward,"...IS DEATH!" From there sphere, a tidal wave of red energy spewed forth into the ceiling, creating a very large hole. "WELL? WHERE'S YOUR PETTY REVENGE NOW?"

*****

I'd better stop there before it gets REALLY out of hand.

  All: <deadpan> Too late.

Anyway, Hi folks! The lovable, huggable Warhammer's back and better than ever! With revised fanfic ideas and a ton of new ones. All for your reading enjoyment. :D

  Brian: And MsTing enjoyment as well...

  Nicole: <catches on and grins as well...>

First, thanks to Andrew Dynon, Brian Yaple, and God-Boy for taking the time to write to me. And to those who whom I sent letters to and yet recieved no reply, no worries. Even if you just read them, thanks.

  <The girls glare at Brian>

  Brian: <sweatdrop> A-heh, sorry about that.

Second, for those who don't know who I was/am; I'll give a brief explanation: I spent the last two years for my church in the Kansai area of Japan as a Christian missionary. Fun, no? In a nutshell, it was difficult. Yet, worth it. I am glad that I went. My dad once told me that when you center your efforts on things that help build up your fellow man, you more often than not become a convert to your own faith. Probably the best thing that I learned was this: 'Life is tough, but you decide to smile or not.' Whether that made sense or not, I don't know. But what I do know is that because of knowing how to live my faith, I am happy. Everything has it's place in my life and I know how to really live.

It's good to be back.

Next; my stories. [Pulls out all the things he's written.] First off;
THESE FICS SUCK! (Whacks them into next week.) I am going to rewrite EVERYTHING that I've ever written. Also, if I am right, there are reviews of my stories on the web. Could some of you

  people either tell me the names and email addys of these reviewers or could anyone here tell them             that I plan to rewrite everything so they can erase the review until I get it rewritten, please?

I'll request fics that I want to catch up on later and off the list so as not to incur the wrath of the maintainers.

That's about all I got right now. So, my next fic will be the rewrite of Shara's Last Gift. Watch for it!

  Brian: We'll be ready!

'Man who walks in front of car, gets tired. Man who stands behind car, get exhausted.'

  All: <facefault>

  Nicole: Oi, that was bad...

-Warhammer

http://www.geocities.com/teknos.geo/

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  Welcome back, Warhammer!

  Brian Yaple
  BYapes@erie.net

 <No sig. for a while, since my E-Mail software went belly up, I had to switch, first to Outlook <blech>, and finally to Eudora Mail.  Hopefully, I can have it back up soon.>