There was a brief moment of silence.

{All: ...}

"Rei-kun always finds me plenty of work," Sana said.
      Suzu grabbed Hayama by the hand.  "You won't be needing him, then, with your boyfriend as your manager."
      Hayama stared at Suzu.
      "Hey, don't grab him!  And Rei-kun's not my boyfriend anymore!" She grabbed Hayama's other hand.

[WH: Uh oh.]

"Now, stop being idiots," Meiko snapped, her temper coming out.  "You're carrying on like children."

[Yuko: (flatly) Because they are!]

The aged Hayama, stared at them intently, now turned into a larger, stronger, version of himself dressed all in black and wearing a silver ankh, his face painted white like a mime and his blonde hair turned black.

[WH: Look out! It's Cocoa the Terrible!]

      They found themselves unable to move, or call for help, or do anything but listen to every song by the Cure they'd ever heard repeating itself inside their heads.

      Meanwhile, Miki and the transformed Sana, now clad in a red bodysuit with a yellow lightning bolt on a white circle on her chest, rolled about as Miki tried to keep her hold on Sana.  Sana, now become Speed, simply vibrated right through Miki's grasp.  She then shouted something that no one could hear because the entire twenty sentence speech lasted only a second and took place at frequencies which only a dog could hear.

[WH: (pales) What did... she say? Can't compute... too fast...]

      The two rings were about to land in the receptionist's hands.  "Excellent.  General Zwei-lite will be pleased to have the rings of Saturn and Pluto.  Strange, this has been much easier than he thought it would be."

[Jeremy: Standard rule. Whenever bad guys says something like that...]

      Then a golf ball struck the rings.  The ring of Saturn simply fell into the receptionist's hands, but the ring of Pluto arced off and landed in Meiko's hands.  "That's because the game isn't over until the last birdie," the Masked Golfer said. Well, one of them did.  This particular one had longer hair than the usual dark haired model, and was accompanied by Artemis, who leaped onto Gloom, disrupting his concentration.

[Jeremy: ...this happens.]

      Soon, Artemis fell to the ground, whimpering about Robert Plant, but Meiko and Suzu were free to run.

[WH: That jokes over my head I'm afraid.]


      "We need a Tennis Warrior van," Arimi decided, watching it go.
      "We'd need a budget for that," Nanami said, getting out of the car.  "Let's go, Joe!"

[WH: HA! What budget?]

"Kill the Masked Golfer!"  the youma receptionist commanded Speed.

[Yuko: The movie starring Keanu Reeves?
WH: That's a bit different.]

      Speed, however, couldn't hear and comprehend anything said that slowly.  Instead, she paused for a
spontaneous rap, then began to flit around the room, poking into everything. Then she said, "Ahah!  I think I'll go destroy Suzu!"  Sadly, this took about three nanoseconds to say, and thus no one else could understand or even notice it.  She sprinted off.

[Jeremy: Like a speeding bullet!]

Speed zipped by, pausing to check inside Zwei-lite's pockets.  "Nope, no Suzu."  She zipped off.

[Yuko: ...(does an Rei Ayanami impression and blinks)]

He looked over at Gloom.  "And I fear I would soon find myself too depressed, having him around."  He laughed and began to walk away.  "Don't worry, I will praise your valor to Beryl; you will be remembered well."
      His laughter echoed in her ears, drowning out 'Don't Fear the Reaper', which was now being played by her own mental DJ.  She wasn't sure which was worse.

[Yuko: ...(drably)my life...]

************
      "Moon SLAM!"
      "Burning Passion Serve!"
      "Power Serve!"
      "Game Called on Account of Rain!"
      "FORE!"

[WH: Wow! I've heard some pretty strange attack names before, but these take the cake!]

      More balls than he knew what to do with pelted Gloom, who quickly collapsed under the assault, turning back into Hayama.  This freed the youma receptionist, who simply raised her arms.  "I surrender!"
      "Really?"  Masked Golfer III asked.
      "No, I lied to gain time," she said, then vanished in a teleportation flicker.

[Jeremy: No surprise there.]

**************

      Then a red blur ran by, shouting something incoherent. It paused and came back around, slowing down enough to be recognizable as Speed.  Before Super Size Venus could react, she charged forward, unleashing a barrage of punches at Meiko, who closed her eyes and winced.

[WH: (eg) Is it wrong that I'm glad this is happening?
Jeremy and Yuko: (flat) Yes.]

Meiko closed her eyes and prayed, wishing she had some sort of power, something she could do to stop Speed before the girl learned to stop vibrating through her and really do some damage.  She could hear Super Size Venus leaping about, trying to intercept the attacks and flailing about with the Love-Me Neuronic Whip.  But Speed was too quick for her.

[WH: (as Nelson from the Simpsons) Ha ha!]

And a voice answered, her mother's voice, but lighter and more joyous than Meiko could remember ever hearing it, except on a handful of rare ocassions whose memory she treasured like diamonds.  I cannot help you, she said, but I can tell you how to help yourself.  But I warn you, if you begin down this road, there is no turning back.

[Jeremy: (dramatically) Because it's my way or the highway!]

      She heard Super Size Venus howl, and took a peek. SSV was rolling around on the floor with Speed, who was punching her repeatedly, having apparently finally gotten the knack of what she was doing.

[WH: Either she figured out how to do Ranma's Amiguriken or Honda's 100-hand slap attack.]

      For a moment, Meiko just wanted to crumple up into a ball, or run away before Speed could turn her attention Meiko's way.  She felt utterly powerless, but then she came back to herself.  I don't care about the cost, I have to save Suzu.
      The voice took on a note of pride to go with its joy.  I knew I could count on you, she said.

[Yuko: (indifferent) Oh barf.]

Tell the ring to call upon Pluto's power and slow Speed down to normal.  Speed was created to slay Tennis Warrior Pluto by forcing her to stop time in order to defeat her...or so Beryl hoped.  But Beryl never really understood anything she was doing, the voice said.  But you must do it swiftly, my beloved daughter.

[WH: (smirks) Does anyone REALLY knows what they're doing?
Jeremy: (Chuckles) Guess not.]

Speed lost her grip on Super Size Venus, who went flying into a wall.  At the same time, the Tennis Warriors and Masked Golfers drove up in the extremely crowded cart. They poured out like debarking clowns.

[WH and Jeeremy laugh their heads off while Yuko plays a circus grinder indifferently.]

      "Must...slip...off...to...drag...out...mystery..." he mumbled.

[WH: (raises Magnum) It's Shatner! GET HIM!]

He blinked and rubbed his eyes.  "This isn't K-mart."

[Jeremy: Actually it's a 7-11, but that's a different story altogether.]

"Did they have some sort of codenames?  All this Masked Golfer I, II, III is starting to confuse me,"  Super Size Mars said.

[Yuko: (takes a second to wake up from angsting) You are not the only one.
Jeremy: Don't talk too much, do you?
Yuko: If you knew why my friend, you would be able to understand, but since you don't, you can't.]

Masked Golfer III and Tennis Mask both smiled.

[WH's Magnum: *KA-CHINK*]

Venus frowned as they all piled on and pulled out.

[WH: (chuckles)]

**************

If I'm the Moon Princess, then Na-chan must be Endymion reborn, Meiko thought.  "So what was Endymion like, Luna?"

[WH: If the former and latter were so...(points gun at head and *BAM*, after old head flies off and is swept up by clean up crews, WH snaps on a new head with a *CLICK*)]

      "Very cocky and sure of himself.  A bit arrogant, but also very loyal.  He spent two years winning over Princess Serenity; it wasn't easy.  She hated him at first, but eventually, he broke down her defenses.  I remember the first time I met him, she'd just thrown him out a window into the great reflecting pool."
      "..."  Miki stared at Luna in shock.  "You're kidding."

[All: ...]

Then again, maybe it's not Na-chan, Meiko thought, then frowned and shook her head.  Our love is destined, she thought.  It has to be.  And surely he can't be one of the other guys.  A tiny voice nagged at her as to how Luna's description fit someone else she knew, but she stomped on it until it passed out.  He has to be Na-chan.  Has to be.

[WH: (melodramatically) Please Mr. Biles, I'm begging you, don't let it be so!
Jeremy: You taking Theater or something?
WH: (beams) Why, how'd you guess?]

Makoto wasn't really sure how he felt about Nanami. She was certainly his closest friend, but whether you'd call it love in a romantic sense was another matter.  She was cute, but she didn't make his blood race or his soul soar.  But at the same time, it seemed natural to be around her, to do things with her, and probably no one else really understood him like she did.

[Yuko: (slightly hopeful) Well, love doesn't just happen at once. Love can be carefully fostered from friendship and can grow into a love that can last because both parties know each other in an informal basis.
WH/Jeremy: ...Wow.]

      She's going to go nuts, stuck in her house, he thought. Although her nutcase parents may decide tomorrow that they approve of running off in other people's cars and unground her.  You never could be sure what they would do. He often wondered how she'd managed to stay sane, living
with them.
      "I will miss Nanami, though."

[WH: Ahh. How sweet.]

John Walter Biles :  MA-History, ABD, Ph.D Candidate at U. Kansas
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

[Jeremy: (looks at his credentials) Dang, he's good!]

"The connection is so abstract, that we have people whose job it is to make sure the paperwork doesn't get totally disconnected from the world.  Theoretically, I handle millions of dollars a day, but it is less real than this e-mail. I have never seen our product. I have never seen the sales people.  I have never seen a customer."
--Robert Lane describes his work as an accountant.

[WH: (snickers)]

[END]

[WH: EGADS! That was long! Great but long! I think God-Boy said something similar in an earlier chapter MSTing. So, I won't get on your back about it.

Jeremy: I liked it a lot. (frowns at WH) Except for the parts where Yuko and I had to hold back Mr. Spazz attack here.

WH: Sorry!

Jeremy: That's ok. It's not that big a deal anyway. (turns to Yuko) You ok?

Yuko: (still angsting) ...it was enjoyable...I think...

WH: (smiles) Poor dear, just remember in exact detail what you did, to whom, where, and why. (opens up a fan with the aku/evil kanji and covers his face) O ho ho ho ho!

(The air around Yuko begins to heat up... her eyes are shadowed, walks over to WH, lifts up his half ton frame by the neck with one hand.)

Yuko: (12 octaves lower) Then, why don't you experience what 'she' went through.]

{Note: The following scene is not recommended for younger viewers...Now that we think about it, it's not recommended for older viewers either. Therefore, it has been deleted.}

(Yuko walks away from what's left of WH...and to say that there's not much left is an understatement.)

Jeremy: (to what's left of WH) You are masochist or something?

WH's remains: No, but I just LOOOOOVE the attention.

Jeremy: (sweat drops) Of course.

Owari.



'Man who walks in front of car, gets tired. Man who stands behind car, get exhausted.'

-Warhammer

http://www.geocities.com/teknos.geo/

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