--- Jon the mockingbird <yaanathn@hotmail.com> wrote:
Hm ... okay. I have some thoughts about this, but
before I voice any of
them, bear in mind that I am not a great writer.
To quote paraphrase Orson Scott Card ... "A writer has
to believe that he's the best damned writer in the
world. He also has to believe that he sucks." Put
rather crudely ... but it's the gist of it. All of us
and none of us are great writers. ^_^
Also, I'm bearing in mind
as I write this that the Scriviner himself was a
part of this rendition.
That was the point of the Gratuitous Theater project,
no? Unless I miss my point entirely ...
Ahem. This fic sounds like it was written by an
Asuka fan. No offense to
anyone, but in my experience one can tell from the
way events are either
flowed through or prolonged or not at all what kind
of writer was writing
the fic.
Ummm ... seriously though. What does being an Asuka
fan have to do with this? Ummm ... so there's more of
focus on Asuka and not on Rei (even though the
Scriviner's original focused more on the latter)?
Hmmm ... it's not a reprise for nothing.
Now, there's a good chance I'm wrong in
this case (again, since
the Scriviner was a part of this), but it feels ...
cheesy ... corny ...
overly WAFF to the point of sappiness.
I found it rather smart-alecky myself ... quite a
change from ole' Scriv's original work.
Granted, for
me, that's diffictult
to avoid, but in the end, if I were to sum up my
thoughts in one sentence, I
would say this: "If it ain't broken, don't fix it."
In other words, I liked
the original Scriviner's version better than this
rendition. It left
specific ideas in a vague manner so that the
abstract thoughts in a reader's
head could come together to form a feeling, and this
version blatantly
spells out what's happening, cheapening the feel
altogether.
I feel like a broken record ... that's the point of
the GT project. Though differing reactions are a fact
of life ...
I sound rather defensive of the Timerunner. I'm not.
I'm just pointing out something that senor Mockingbird
seems to have missed when reading the reprise of
Scriviner's original.
I'll be sure to put Timerunner's fic over a hearty
campfire in a few days from now and see what kind of
C&C I charbroil out of it ... ^_^
Irreverently yours,
Whimsical
=====
"If all the idiots in the world died right now, the world
as we know it would be a far duller place to live in..."
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