Firstly, thanks to Latin_D for sending this to me after I deleted it by accident. It's sad to see such a great fic go to oblivion from the Trash Can.

---

<snip intro with Ranma vs godling>

---

Really well written intro. It sounds just like some sort of legend, and hints at a possible future flashback scene that describes it in more detail. I'm hooked.

DISCLAIMER: Ranma 1/2 belongs to the brilliant Takahashi Rumiko. Robotech is
owned by Harmony Gold USA, Inc. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story is based on McKinney�s books.

        SILENT BATTLES

The shortened version works well, and the idea of Silent Battles 2: Deaf Victories is just too good to pass up on.

        A Ranma 1/2 / Robotech crossover

Quick note here: I have limited access to both of these - not enough to write a fic but enough to comment on one. I currently have a nuke set for my local video store.

<snip to 1st flashback>

    But Ranma had not been alone. Akane had come with him. Always by his
side, in every battle, in the saddest moments. Of course, he hadn't
appreciated it then, not at all. He had called her a nuisance, told her to
leave him alone. Yet, she had stayed and taken care of him. How could have
been so blind?

Correction: How could HE have been so blind?

    Finally, they found a nice, quiet spot with almost no trees. They spent
three days there, working out and training all the time. In the morning of
the fourth day, something changed their routines.

ON the morning ...
... their routine (possibly). And how about adding something like "and their lives"?

    After some time, they stopped talking and lay down on the grass side by
side, gazing at the cotton-like clouds that populated the sky. They even
held hands for a while. Seeing her there, so perfect and beautiful under the
sunlight, so relaxed and full with peace, made Ranma realize the moment had
arrived. It was finally been the right and perfect time to confess his
feelings for her. Well... At least, he had thought so. He had had no way of
knowing what was about to happen.

Either "It was finally the right time..." or "It had finally been the right time..."
Perfect isn't necessary.

    He was about to start with the always-difficult task of talking to Akane
without putting his foot in his mouth, when she suddenly called him, "Ranma,
look! In the sky, it's a falling star!"

Maybe "In the sky - it's a falling star!" puts more emphasis on the falling star/SDF.

    And indeed, as soon as he looked up, he caught sight of a glowing point
flying swiftly though the sky.

... as soon as he looked up he caught sight ...
The comma still works though.

    "You should ask for a wish, Ranma. They say it always comes true," said
Akane with that caring, warm voice he would always remember as hers in
later years.

You generally make a wish rather than ask for it. Asking for a wish means you want the opportunity to make one.

    Finally, too late, he came to his senses. He wished Akane and him could
be together.

I prefer "He wished he and Akane ..."

<snip to next flashback>

    Ranma was no engineer, but it amazed him that something had been able to
stand such a crash. It had to be some secret government project, maybe a new
weapon constructed by the Neasians. Or it could be some kind of UFO, came
from another pl--He really had to stop reading so much manga, it brought
strange ideas to his head.

... some kind of UFO, come from another ...

    Several minutes later, Ranma and Akane stood by the wreckage, dwarfed by
its colossal size. The looming structure lay motionless before them, but
Ranma couldn't notice anything strange or unusual about it. Well, except the
facts that it had come from nowhere and that it was unbelievably large.
Perhaps he had been letting his imagination run away with him. Perhaps.

Well, except FOR the fact (no 's') ...

    "What do we do now?" asked Akane, neck arched back and trying to gauge
the ruin's height.

... neck arched back trying to gauge ... since the purpose of arching the neck is to gauge the height.

    "What else? We get into this... whatever, and see if there's anyone."

    �Actually, _I_ get inside it and you stay waiting safely outside,� added
Ranma mentally.

    "I know that, you jackass!" snapped the youngest Tendo. "What I meant is
_how_ we are going to get in."

I prefer:
"What I meant was how we were going to get in."

<snip to 3rd flashback>

    "Oh, Ranma. You won't believe this. I found the most strange--" She
never finished this sentence.

"I found the strangest--"

    �This must be the place,� the pig-tailed martial artist ventured to
himself as he gazed at the small wooden sentry box behind the tall wire
fence.

Don't like the word ventured. That's generally used when suggesting something to someone else you're and not sure how they're going to react. Good old "thought", maybe? Or "... artist decided as he gazed ..."

And that's my C&C. Well done on a great fic. It's an odd coincidence that all the errors I found were in your flashback scenes. I know that others have mentioned some of the mistakes.

One thing to congratulate you on (also stands for part 2, but this is so I don't forget) you haven't splashed Ranma once. Most fic writers would probably get him wet and have some sort of interaction that way, and I consider it a mis-use of a plot device. Go ahead and use it, but don't overdo it.

Part Two C&C'ed tomorrow hopefully (by Australian EST)

Mata ne!
ConMan

________________________________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com