I should be studying...
However, I'm in an air conditioned lab, my books are at the room, and the
school is too cheap to install any sort of AC in the dorms. So, I think
I'll procrastinate and C&C this before I go back.
On Tue, 9 May 2000, Donny Cheng wrote:
This is part of my Life and Times crossover series. This is the fifth
chapter to the First Knight arc.
Yay! More LAT!
of these two points. Emotional draining and tiredness sinks a Shi Shi
Hokodan further into depression.
...sinks a Shi Shi Hokoudan *user* further into...
He sighed as he
trudged back to the needle, he could feel his inner reserves drained
slightly already because of that blast, which meant the next hour was
going to a very long one.
Split into two sentences, terminating the first after 'needle'.
looked up the stairs, towards the temple. The man named Ranma would
lead her to some answers. He _had to_ or she was afraid she might not
wake up the next time she blanked out.
It's been awhile since I read the other chapters. Why does she think
this?
this by often gaining a second wind or a third or a fourth. This asset
is a double edged sword."
"To improve one must be brought to the brink of exhaustion,
challenged, and through sheer force of will, overcome it.
I don't follow this reasoning. Because he has recovery abilities, he must
get beaten up first? Sounds like the reasoning they use in DBZ to account
for gains in power, but that's hardly the case here. (That is, unless you
decide to cross over with yet another series).
any time and while he was momentarily stopped, she flipped onto her
hands and pushed off the ground, immediately twisting her legs.
'stopped' sounds odd. Stunned?
He resisted to clutch his stomach in pain as he backed up even
more away from the woman. Chun Li's legs were incredibly strong. The
amount of power needed to fly though the air using the spinning force
her legs created would have been on par with Shampoo or maybe even
greater than the amazon.
amazon = amazon's
Posessive form, since you're referring to the amount of power that Shampoo
has.
Heh. This means that if she gets significantly stronger, she'll be able
to take helecoptor tours. I don't think I've ever seen an anime where
people fly like that, but there's always a first time.
him. What was also odd was that the blast had a shorter range than
most he had seen, fizzling out at about ten meters.
It might have been even shorter, but she wasn't aiming for the closer side
of the screen.
Chun Li however was not at all shabby, showing the power of a
class A fighter in the Street Fighter Tournament. Genkai couldn't help
but wonder if the Chinese woman had anything to do with a tribe of
amazons that she was acquainted with. The woman's style was very much
like them.
them = their's
I think. I'm not sure whether the apostrophie is needed. My alergy
are clouding my thinking right now. In either case, 'them' is the wrong
word.
Neither opponent noticed that the both of them glowed softly as
evening approached and the sun began to set.
Ah. Glow In The Dark Style. Ancient technique involving breaking those
glowing sticks they sell around Halloween, and smearing it on yourself to
make it look like you have a huge battle aura. Finally fell into
disfavor when it was revealed that the chemicals were toxic.
Ranma tensed. The way Chun Li was stretching indicated to him
that she was getting ready for another attack. His aching ribs made it
nearly impossible for him to move, but he forced himself to strafe
If only he could reach that rail gun! But to do that, he'd need to rocket
jump, and he'd already taken too much damage from the enounter with the
newbie and his chain gun to survive the blast.
Chun Li's eyes narrowed as she watched Ranma literally dig in to
the ground with his feet, standing in a defensive position one his
right foot slightly in front.
Take out the 'literally', unless you mean that Ranma was making scratching
motions with his feet, in an effort to make a hole.
Chun Li nodded and got up and off the bed, finding no pain on her
body whatsoever. She looked at Yukina, who simply smiled. Powerful
company, the boy kept. "I take it, the boy knows nothing about Vega?
The boy kept power company, it seemed. The other way sounds convoluted.
Remove the comma in the quote.
Ranma could only stare at his hands in shock. His three
companions, Mini-Urd, Mini-Moiraine, and Mini-Usagi all sat with stony
faces, looking at him. After having surpassed himself, his chi, all of
it, was gone.
Meaning that he's dead. Losing all of his chi means that he's dead.
Oh well, wouldn't be the first time. At least he gets to make out with
Botan again, until he recovers.
Mini-Urd swiped at Ranma's head again. "Training? You're
resting!" she yelled, staring angrily at her.
her = him
This is in the context of the descriptions of Ranma's gender in the rest
of this scene. If he's gone female, then change the rest instead.
-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble. A few more shots, then
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode. Ducking around a corner,
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of
my Anime supplier.
One look at his face and I knew that I had been betrayed. "Tell me,"
I insisted. He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance. Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao," he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...