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Welll, I thought I'd lost this, but I looked at my website, and found it
again!  ^_^  

I'm just attaching the .txt file instead of copying and pasting, this time.
Gomen.

Anyways, I'm still interested in finishing this, as it's one of my first -
and, coincidentally, most worked on - fics.  So please send me C&C.  Flames
will be welcomed, too.


Chuckles the Insane, Angry Clown <<M.A.R.S..txt>> 



-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: M.A.R.S..txt

					M.A.R.S.  
					or
					My American Ranma Spinoff

					by Charlie Werness
					  aka Charlie-Baka-Sama
					  aka Chaz
					  aka Idiot-Boy
					  aka Chuckles the Angry Clown
					  aka Chuckles the Insane Clown
					  aka Jap Porn Boy (Don't ask.  Lee's weird)
					  aka Warez
					  aka MBF (Military Butt F*ck) (again, don't ask.  Ball's weird)
					  aka Charlie in the Trees
					  

(text) means a setting
Name: Means person who is talking or thinking or doing something etc.
::text:: means an action or the result of an action, like the words of a letter
"Text" means someone is speaking
<Text> means a thought, or inner monologue
*Text* means a sound, like a groan or a belch 

*****
Character descriptions:

Adam Tendo: Older looking, late 30s to early 40s.  Has black hair, crew cut, and is about 6'0''
tall.  He has a medium build, not muscular by any means, but you can tell that he has worked out
at some time in his life.  Tends to wear a ratty old button-up shirt and jeans.  A bit of a putz,
but a nice guy at heart.  Is almost constantly looking like a normal guy.

Maren Tendo: At 19 years old, she's the oldest Tendo sister.  She has long brown hair that she 
usually keeps in a ponytail or something of the sort.  Approximately 5'8'' tall, and average 
build.  Usually found in a skirt and a blouse, with an apron over it more often than not.  She's
sweet and good-natured, not to mention polite and formal.  Even so, she can be persuasive and 
manipulative if the occasion calls for it (not that she ever lets anyone know this ;-) 
She likes to keep quiet about that part of her).  She insists on politeness and good manners.  
She plays mother for the Tendos, and has ever since their real mother died in a car crash over 
10 years ago.  When you look at her, you think "My, what a nice young lady!"  That's just the 
kind of person she is.  She likes to smile.  A LOT.

Nabiki Tendo: 17 years old.  Brown hair, cut short (to just above her shoulders).  About 5'7'' 
tall, and fairly thin.  Not supermodel thin, but not chunkified.  Average-ly thin.  Average 
build, meaning she's not a weight lifter.  Usually wears jeans and a shirt of some sort.  Is 
very business savvy, and does very well in math.  Can be either cold and ruthless or 
expressionless (meaning doesn't show her emotions very much, if at all).  Usually wears an 
expression of neutrality.

Lauren Tendo: Lauren is 16 years old.  Blue-black hair, also cut short, but shorter than 
Nabiki's.  Upwards of 5'7'' tall, and is lean.  Looks like she may work out, but no one knows 
for sure.  Is quite sought after at her high school.  Likes to wear slacks and a shirt, but 
jeans are not uncommon, nor are sweats or dresses/skirts.  Is a nice person, outgoing and 
pleasant.  Gets tired of every sophomore, junior, and some senior, guy asking her out.  Does 
well in school, and is college scholarship material.  Usually wearing a smile.

Katie Tendo: At 14, Katie is the youngest Tendo.  Katie has black hair, which she keeps in a 
ponytail all the time.  Is 5'4'' tall, and is sore about that.  She keeps hoping for a growth 
spurt.  Katie is a bit of a lazy bum, always watching TV.  Her grades at school reflect this 
fact.  Also, she's a little bigger than the rest of her sisters, but by no means heavy.  Just 
more meaty.  Likes big (meaning loose-fitting, or baggy if you'd prefer) jeans and big (L-XL, 
so she can have more freedom of movement) t-shirts.  Almost NEVER wears dresses, skirts, 
blouses, slacks, or long-sleeved shirts.  A `let's get this over with so I can go do what I 
want to do' kind of person.  Being this way, she can sometimes come off as testy or rude or a 
whiner, but if you take the time to get to know her, you'll find out that she's a good person 
at heart.  Although she declines to admit it, she's really a very good artist.  Everything 
from still-lifes to sculptures to abstract art to Japanese animation, she's almost flawless at.
She prefers to spend her time watching TV, but if she's feeling down or depressed, or basically
any strong emotion at all, she turns to her art to express those feelings.  She prefers the 
`I'm so bored I could gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon' look, although smiles are also 
common, as are `I'M MISSING MY TV SHOW!!!!!!' looks.   Can be kind of a ditz and a 
disillusioned youth when it comes to matters of love.
*****

Well, ON WITH THE FANFIC!!!

*****
(Edina, Minnesota - the Tendo dojo)

	::I'm in Chicago, Bringing Tom and Dan.  Saotome.::

	Adam (Mr.) Tendo: "Hmm?  What's this?" ::Reads it a couple more times, then it clicks::
	"Oh!  It's been so long since I've seen my good friend, and not only will I get to see 
	him again, but one of my daughters will be engaged!" ::Does his little `happy dance'::

	Nabiki: ::Walks in, and sees her father doing his `happy dance':: "What's up, dad?  You 
	hardly ever do your `happy dance' anymore."

	Mr. Tendo: "I'll tell you, but you'd better go get your sisters.  They should hear this, 
	too." 

	Nabiki: ::Confused look, but goes off to find her fathers other offspring anyways:: "OK 
	dad, but this'd better be good."

	Mr. Tendo: ::Stops his `happy dance' suddenly, as he realizes something:: "I know Tom, 
	but who is this Dan?"

*****

(Tendo dojo, living room, later that evening)

	::Mr. Tendo is sitting in his big leather chair and his 4 daughters-Nabiki, Katie, 
	Lauren, and Maren-are sitting on the 2 small couches across the room::

	Lauren: "So dad, what is this all about?"

	Katie: "Yeah, dad, what's up?  First, I hear from Nabs that you were doing your `happy 
	dance' and holding a post card, and now this."

	Maren: "Yes, father.  Please tell us what is going on."

	Nabiki: "I believe the mob has spoken, and now you must speak.  Spill it."

	Mr. Tendo: "Alright, alright.  Its not like I've been hiding anything from you." 
	::Realizes something, then sweat drops::

	Nabiki: ::notices this:: "Is that so?"

	Mr. Tendo: ::Adds hastily:: "I mean, its not like I've been hiding this post card from 
	you for days or anything.  I just got it myself, and as soon as I did, I called you all 
	in here to tell you about it."

	Maren: "Very well then, father.  I'm sorry if it sounded like we were angry with you.  
	We're all just a bit curious, that's all."

	Lauren, Katie, and Nabiki: ::At the same time:: "So, lets hear it!" "I'm missing my TV 
	show, so hurry it up already." "Well?"

	Mr. Tendo: ::Teary-eyed:: "Such spirited daughters.  How lucky I am to have been blessed 
	with them!"

	Maren: "Please, father, don't get side-tracked.  You still haven't told us what all this 
	is about."

	Mr. Tendo: "Alright, alright.  You see this postcard?" ::Holds up the postcard from 
	earlier::

	Katie: "Yeah, but what's so special about it?"

	Mr. Tendo: "I was just getting to that part.  It's from my oldest and dearest friend, 
	John Saotome.  It seems that he is on his way here from Chicago."

	Lauren: "And what does your old friend coming here have to do with us?"

	Mr. Tendo: "Patience, daughter.  I was just getting to that."

	Lauren: "You're sure taking your sweet time."

	Katie: "NO KIDDING!  MY SHOW'S PROBABLY HALF OVER!!!!  GET ON WITH IT!!!!!"

	Maren: "Now Kat, there's no need to yell."

	Katie: ::GLARE TO END ALL GLARES:: "It's the SIMPSONS.  A BRAND NEW EPISODE.  
	They don't happen every week, you know."

	Nabiki: ::Smirk:: "Actually, they do.  Every Sunday at 7:00."

	Katie: "That doesn't mean that I can miss this one!!!"

	Mr. Tendo: "Anyways, he's not coming alone.  He's bringing his son, Tom.  Actually, he 
	may be bringing someone else named Dan, too.  I'm not quite sure."

	Katie: "Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Cut to the chase."

	Mr. Tendo: "Basically, one of you is going to marry Tom.  It's an old promise Saotome 
	and I made to ensure the continuation of the Saotome and Tendo lines."

	Katie: "Ok.  If that's all, then I'm going to watch my." ::Realizes what he just said, 
	and goes pale:: "W...w...what?"

	Lauren: ::Shocked expression:: "You CAN'T be serious!"

	Nabiki: ::Looks a mite disturbed:: "So how old is he?"

	Maren: ::Calm, as always:: "Yes, father, how old is he?"

	Mr. Tendo: "I don't know, exactly.  I think he's about 16."

	Katie: "W...w...wh...what...whats he l-l-like?"
	
	Lauren: ::Even more shocked by her sisters' reactions:: "WHAT?!?  You mean you're 
	actually interested in this guy we've never even MET?!?"

	Nabiki: ::Unfazed:: "I'd like to know a little about him before I overreact." ::Coughs 
	the word `Lauren' a couple of times::

	Lauren: ::Mega glare:: "I'm just not too hot about the idea of possibly being engaged to 
	a guy who, for all I know, could be a 400 pound sexist freak with no teeth."

	Mr. Tendo: "I can safely tell you that that's not what he's like at all."

	Katie: ::Has recovered a bit:: "I thought you said you didn't know anything about him?"

	Mr. Tendo: "I don't, but I do know that he has been practicing martial arts since he was 
	a baby, and is probably in peak physical condition."

	Nabiki: ::Interested in that last comment:: "Meaning he's probably cute and muscular?"

	Maren: "Oh, Nabiki."

	Nabiki: ::Looking innocent:: "What?"

	Lauren: "Yeah, well you said `one of us' would be marrying this `Tom'.  So which one of 
	us will be?"

	Katie: ::Eyes go dreamy:: "I call dibs if he's tall, dark, and handsome."

	Maren: ::Smiling softly:: "Oh, Kat, you're only 14 years old.  If anyone is going to 
	marry him, it'd be either Nabiki or Lauren.  They're 17 and 16, which is closer to Tom's
	age than your 14 or my 19."

	Lauren: ::Flatly:: "Just remember, Mar-Mar, that it's the 90's now.  Age doesn't mean 
	nearly as much as it did 100 years ago."

	Katie: ::Still dreamy-eyed:: "I sure hope so."

::There's a knock at the door::

	Mr. Tendo: ::Smiling:: "That must be them now!"

	Nabiki: ::Quickly gets up before the rest of them can react:: "I'll get it!" ::Hurries 
	over to the front door and opens it to find 2 very wet men and a wet woman.  The first 
	man looks to be in his late 30s to early 40s, is wearing a white bandanna on his head, 
	and is about 5'10'' tall.  The second man is much taller-about 6'4''- a little heavier 
	set, looks to be about 17, and is wearing what looks to be a bowling shirt and jeans.  
	The woman looks about 17 also, is about 5'10'', has brown hair down to her shoulders, 
	is fairly skinny, is wearing a Raiders hat, jeans that look to be about 3 sizes too big 
	for her (but the belt holding them up works fine), a grey t-shirt, and is listening to 
	a CD player and bobbing her head to the music::

	Mr. Tendo: ::Beaming:: "Saotome!  How good to see you!"

	Mr. (John) Saotome: ::Also smiling largely:: "Tendo!  It's been too long!"

::Mr. Saotome comes in and embraces Mr. Tendo::

	Mr. Tendo: ::Breaks off the hug:: "So, this fine looking young man must be Tom, and the 
	young woman is Dan?  I'm assuming that Dan is short for Danielle then."

	Man (Tom?): ::Smiles:: "Well, you see..."

	Mr. Saotome: ::Interrupting man (Tom?):: "Lets go inside and I'll explain everything."

	Mr. Tendo: ::Looks a bit confused by that last sentence, but smiles anyway:: "Very well.  
	Maren, show our guests to the liv..." ::Notices how wet they all are:: "...er, the
	kitchen, please."

*****
(Kitchen.  Mr. Tendo is standing by the stove next to Maren, with Lauren and Katie next to the 
sink, and Nabiki by the oven, about 3' from the rest of them.  Mr. Saotome, the man, and the 
woman (with her headphones around her neck, but still playing loud enough to be heard) are all 
sitting on the counter stools, facing the partial circle of Tendos)

	Mr. Tendo: "So, you said you needed to explain something?"

	Maren: ::Nudges her father:: "Ahem."

	Mr. Tendo: ::Knows what Maren is getting at:: "Oh!  I'm sorry, I haven't introduced my 
	daughters yet!  This..." ::Gestures to Maren:: "...Is my eldest daughter, Maren.  By 
	the sink, the taller one is Lauren and the shorter one is my youngest, Katie.  
	By the oven, removed as usual, is Nabiki, the upper middle daughter of my `clan'" 
	::Chuckles at his lame-ass half joke::

	Man (Tom?): ::Smiles very big and quite attractively:: "Pleased to meet you.  I'm Dan 
	Bowman, Tom's best friend and travelling partner."

	Mr. Tendo: ::Looks quite confused:: "You're not Tom?  Then who is?"

	Woman: "That would me me."

::All the Tendos face fault::

	Mr. Saotome: ::Hastily:: "Please allow me to explain!"

	Mr. Tendo: ::Angry:: "You'd better explain!  You said that Tom was a male!"

	Maren: ::Trying to calm her father down:: "Father, please.  Don't yell.  It's not 
	polite."

::Lauren looks a little relieved, Katie is too busy staring at Dan with wedding plans going 
through her head to notice anything save a nuclear blast, and Nabiki is just wearing a slight 
frown on her basically sterile face::

	Mr. Saotome: "Please, Adam, listen to me!"

	Mr. Tendo: ::Still angry and shaken up:: "Alright, talk."

	Onna-Tom: ::Stops her CD player and turns it off, and says a little bitterly, but with 
	an evil smirk:: "C'mon pop, explain what happened to me."

	Dan: ::Wearing not an evil smirk, but a smirk of barely contained laughter:: "Yeah, 
	John, tell them what the deal is."

	Mr. Saotome: ::Glances with disdain at the 2 teenagers, then turns to the Tendos:: "You 
	see, Tom may look like a girl, but he is in fact a boy.  He was cursed to take the form 
	of a girl whenever he is splashed with cold water, and since it is raining outside, and 
	we were walking here, he changed."

::All the Tendos face fault at the same time::

	Onna-Tom: "That's not the whole story, dad.  Tell them HOW I got cursed."

	Mr. Saotome: ::Grimaces:: "That's not important."

	Dan: ::Smiling broadly now:: "But it is pretty funny!"

	Onna-Tom: ::Rolls her eyes at Dan:: "Yeah, maybe to YOU."

	Dan: "You see, we were travelling through the Himalayan mountains a couple of months 
	ago, when we came upon this old hut.  We thought it was deserted, and since it was 
	about midnight and snowing pretty hard, we decided to take shelter there that night.  
	When we got inside, we found that the hut was occupied.  Not only was it being lived 
	in, but by a sorceror!"

	Onna-Tom: ::Ruefully:: "A withered, cranky, jack ass of a sorceror, too!"

	Dan: ::Looks over to Tom:: "I'm telling the story, OK?"

	Onna-Tom: ::Holds her hands up in a defensive gesture:: "OK, OK.  Keep going."

	Dan: ::Turns back to the just now recovering Tendos:: "Where was I?  Oh! Yes.  Well, 
	the sorceror wasn't too happy that we just invaded his house like that, so he said: "You 
	have a choice, either all of you will die by my hand on this night, or one of you 
	will take on a curse where by whenever you are doused with cold water, you will change 
	sexes."  Well, it didn't take us long to agree that one of us would have to take the 
	curse.  We told him this and he said: "The eldest of you will choose who takes the 
	curse."  Now, I didn't expect John to deliberate for hours on end about who to choose,
	but he immediately grabbed Tom and said: "He will!"  Then, ZAP!  That was that."

	Mr. Saotome: ::Defensively:: "Hey, I thought this would be a good character building 
	exercise for the boy!"

	Onna-Tom: ::Extremely sarcastically:: "Yeah, that's right.  You were about to take the 
	noble route and take the curse yourself, but then you thought `hey!  Maybe Tom will 
	benefit from this experience!'  THEN you chose to mess up my life even more than it 
	already was."

	Mr. Tendo: ::Puzzled beyond belief:: "So, if cold water changes you to a girl, then how 
	do you change back?"

	Onna-Tom: "Hot water."

	Nabiki: "Makes so much sense it seems like a cliche."

	Mr. Tendo, Lauren, Katie, Dan, and Mr. Saotome: ::Simultaneously:: "Huh?"

	Tom: "She means that it's so logical that it seems like the storybook answer, or the 
	answer that always appears in situations like this."

	Same people as last time: "Huh?"

	Nabiki: ::Flustered:: "Oh, nevermind.  So, would you like some hot water?"

	Onna-Tom: ::Smiles:: "Yes, please!  I can't wait to be normal again!"

	Dan: ::Evil smirk:: "I wouldn't go THAT far."

	Onna-Tom: ::Mock disdain:: "Ha, ha, ha.  If that wasn't so true, I'd hit you."

	Dan: "You know that I'd kick your ass, dude."

	Onna-Tom: ::Waves his hand in a dismissing gesture:: "Feh."

	Maren: ::Just finishing putting the water on the stove, and smiling the typical Maren 
	smile:: "The water should be ready in a few minutes."

*****

(Living room, about 1/2 an hour later.  Tendos are on the couches, Mr. Saotome is in the leather 
chair, Dan is sitting cross-legged in the middle of the floor, and Tom (Back in guy form)is 
leaning against the wall with his arms crossed in his lap.  As a guy, he's about 6'1'' to 
6' 2'', has average length brown hair, still pretty skinny (although his clothes are pretty 
baggy, so you can't exactly tell), and is apparantly muscular (Baggy clothes, again).  He's 
pretty cute, but Dan's MUCH cuter, putting Tom at the `cute if you're desperate' end of the 
scale.)

	Lauren: "So, who's gonna marry him?"

	Mr. Tendo: "Yes, that is what I am wondering also.  Tom, who would you like to marry?"

	Tom: ::Confused:: "Huh?  What are you talking about?"

	Mr. Tendo: ::Looks at Mr. Saotome, surprised:: "You mean you haven't told him yet?"

	Tom: ::Looks to Mr. Saotome:: "Told me what, dad?"

	Mr. Saotome: ::Looks a bit nervous:: "Well, son, I need to tell you that we didn't just 
	come here to see my old friend.  In truth, you're engaged to one of his daughters.  
	It's an agreement that we made a long time ago, to ensure that our family lines 
	would continue."

	Tom: ::Neutral expression:: "Figured it'd be something like that."

	Mr. Saotome and Lauren: ::Surprised:: "You mean you don't object?"

	Tom: ::Expression still neutral:: "I didn't say that, I just said that I expected 
	something like this to happen."

	Dan: ::A little shocked:: "You're not mad?  I know if someone pulled this on me, I'd be 
	furious!"

	Tom: ::Shrugs a little:: "Eh, people do stupid things.  It's how you handle them that 
	makes the difference."

	Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome: ::Angry:: "WHAT?!?"

	Tom: ::Unfazed:: "I said that I think this was a stupid thing to do.  If you'd really 
	wanted me to fall in love with one of them, you should've introduced us a LONG time ago, 
	not to mention shouldn't have told us about it.  Now that we know, even if a relationship
	would've been possible in sterile circumstances, all chances of a relationship 
	forming are nil."

	All but Tom, Nabiki, and Maren: "Why?"

	Tom: "Numerous reasons.  1. If we do start to feel anything, we'll attribute it to the 
	marriage being planned.  2. We weren't given a choice in this, and because of that fact, 
	human nature dictates-ESPECIALLY in the teenage years- that a natural rebellion against 
	authority and a natural fear of uncontrolled circumstances will inhibit any emotional 
	development towards each other.  3. I don't believe that, being the 1990s and in America 
	and not the 1790s and in Japan, arranged marriages are valid.  However, if you really 
	want me to become engaged to one of them, it's not my place to stop you from getting what 
	you want.  Conversely, it's not my place to change someone's life permanently, so 
	they'll have to choose who I'm going to marry."

	Lauren: ::Amazed:: "Hold on.  You can come up with all of those REALLY good reasons not 
	to go through with it, and yet you still do?!?"

	Katie: "Yeah.  You sure had me convinced."

	Maren: "He makes a strong argument."

	Mr. Tendo: "He may make a strong argument, but he also respects his fathers decision..."

	Tom: ::Interrupting Mr. Tendo.:: "No, I don't respect his decision at all.  It's just 
	that I have no choice in the matter, seeing as he's my legal guardian for another 
	2 years, so I might as well go along with it and make it as easy as possible on 
	everyone instead of griping and groaning and generally making existence a living hell."

	Mr. Tendo: "...anyway, he did agree, so it's going to happen.  Now, which one of you wants 
	to marry him?"

	Dan: ::Muttering:: "Lucky guy.  He gets a choice of 4 beautiful girls, and I get stuck 
	with the job of wooing and flirting and such."

	Tom: ::Hears him, and says out loud:: "Don't be sore about it.  At least you'll know that 
	the person you marry actually loves you and isn't just doing it because their father 
	wanted them to."

	Dan: "Still..."

	Nabiki: ::Stands up and goes into the center of the circle of people::  "People, people, 
	please.  I believe that the 4 of us..." ::Gestures to herself and her 3 sisters:: 
	"...have something to discuss in private.  So, if you'll please follow me, siblings, 
	we shall go to my room to discuss this."

	Katie: ::Remembers something, and quickly looks at her watch:: "OH  NO!  I missed the 
	Simpsons!"  ::Looks depressed and goes up to Nabs' room to wait for her sisters.

	Maren:  ::Shakes her head sadly:: "That Kat, she's addicted to the TV." ::Smiles and 
	turns to the rest of them:: "If you'll excuse me, I'll be off." ::Gets up and curtsies 
	politely before going up to Nabs' room::

	Lauren: ::Scowling:: "See ya later, I guess."

	Nabiki: "We'll let you know our decision later tonight." ::And with that, the last Tendo 
	sister goes up to Nabiki's room and closes the door, locking it tight::

	Mr. Tendo: ::Looking to Tom:: "So, I hear you're into martial arts.  Tell me all about 
	your training."

	Dan and Tom: "*GROAN*"

	Mr. Saotome: ::Beaming:: "Well, the story begins over 10 years ago in..."

*****

(Nabiki's room.  Nabiki and Maren are on the bed, with Lauren in the desk chair and Katie on 
a pillow on the floor)

	Nabiki: "So, what do you all think of Tom?"

	Maren: "He seems like a nice, polite man.  He certainly knows his manners, and 
	he does seem very smart."

	Katie: "Yeah, he seems like one of those quiet, smart geeky types of people."

	Maren: ::Scowling a little:: "Kat!"

	Katie: ::Defensively:: "What?  He does!"

	Maren: "Still, it's not polite to call people names."

	Nabiki: "So, what do you think of him, Kat?"

	Katie: "Well, besides being a geek, he seems nice enough.  He's not as cute as Dan is, 
	but he's cute.  I like the fact that he's tall, although he's not as tall as Dan.  
	I can't really tell how muscular he is, because of his baggy clothes, though."

	Nabiki: "I can fix that." ::Gets up, and goes down to where the guys are listening 
	to the endless tale being told by Mr. Saotome.  Interrupting Mr. S.:: "Excuse me, guys, 
	but could Tom please come upstairs with me for a second?"

	Tom: ::Looks greatful to be getting out of that story:: "Yes, I'd love to!"

	Nabiki: "Come with me." ::Leads him up into her room, then closes the door again:: 
	"There.  Now, Tom, we've encountered a problem: your clothes are too baggy, so we can't 
	see how muscular you are.  So, would you please take off your shirt for a second?"

	Katie, Maren, and Lauren: ::Facefault::

	Tom: ::Shrugs:: "I guess so."

	Katie, Maren, Lauren, and Nabiki: ::Facefault::

	Nabiki: "I expected a little reluctance..."

	Tom: ::Shrugs again as he removes his hat:: "Eh, whatever.  I mean, it's not like 
	I'm stripping completely naked or anything."

::Katie's eyes light up and she looks like she's going to say something when Maren cuts her 
off with a sharp glance, and she pouts and looks at the floor::

	Tom: ::Takes off his shirt to reveal a good-looking body.  Well-formed muscles, not 
	obscenely big, healthy tan, and over all attractive body.:: "Anything else?"

	Nabiki: ::Hand on chin, apparantly pondering something:: "Turn around please"

	Tom: ::Does so::

	Lauren: <He is pretty good looking.what am I thinking?!?  He's probably some jerk or 
	something.  But, Maren does have a point.  He does seem to know his manners.  And he IS 
	good looking...>

	Katie: <Wow!  I didn't expect this!  He looks so scrawny with his shirt on!  Well, he's 
	no Dan, but he is very cute and very attractive.  I suppose I COULD do worse.>

	Maren: <He seems like a nice young man.  He's got manners, which is a lot more than I 
	can say for most young men his age.  That's the only problem, his age.  He's 3 years 
	younger than me.  I'm not sure that I like that.  Oh, well.  I guess one of my sisters 
	will have to marry him.>

	Nabiki: <Wow.  Nice.  Cute, attractive, muscular, smarter than any other 16-year-old 
	I know, not a bad choice, overall.  But...> ::Looks at her sisters:: <...it looks like 
	I may have some competition.  I'll have to get to know him a little better before I 
	make a choice, too.>

	Tom: "Um, guys?  It's been about 25 minutes.  Are you going to do anything?"

	Tendo sisters: ::All together, and embarrassed:: "OK, THAT'S ENOUGH, BYE NOW!!!" ::As 
	they push him out the door and lock it::

	Lauren: ::Recovers first:: "So, what does everyone think now?  Do you think you want 
	to marry him?"

	Katie: "If I had to choose right now, I'd say yes, but I'd still like to get to know 
	him a little better before making a final decision."

	Nabiki: "I would also say yes, but I agree with Katie's statement.  Some time to get 
	to know him would be good."

	Maren: "I don't think that he's my type.  That, and he's 3 years younger than me, 
	so I don't think it'd work.  I'd have to say no."

	Lauren: "Well, then.  My answer would also be yes, but I agree with Kat and Nabs when 
	I say that I want to get to know him better first.  But still, that's 3 people that 
	are evaluating him for marriage."

	Nabiki: "Yeah, that could be kind of stressful.  I propose we lay some ground 
	rules and a time limit."

	Katie: ::Looks confused:: "Like in a game?"

	Nabiki: "Exactly.  And in essence, this is a game.  The game of love.  We are all 
	trying to find out if we love this Tom, and if we do, to find out a way to make him 
	love us enough to choose us above the rest of us."

	Lauren: ::Intrigued:: "What kinds of rules?"

	Nabiki: ::Thinking:: "Oh, like no sex of any kind; as a matter of fact, nothing 
	more than kissing.  We wouldn't want to tire him out before the wedding night, would we?"

	Rest: ::Facefault while blushing::

	Maren: "Nabiki!  I'd hope that you'd refrain from doing...anything dishonest with 
	him until you were married anyways!"

	Nabiki: ::Rolls her eyes:: "Oh, come on, Mar-Mar, it's the 90s.  Lots of people do 
	`dishonest things' before they're married."

	Lauren: ::Cutting Maren off mid-retort:: "I think that's a good rule.  Anything else?"

	Katie: "How about only one date a week?"

	Lauren: "Don't you think that's a bit few?"

	Nabiki: "Now, Lauren, there ARE 3 of us, and if we each had 2, the poor guy'd only 
	have one free night a week."

	Lauren: ::Slumps in defeat:: "I suppose you're right.  Anything else?  I think we 
	should agree that we can't interfere with each others plans or interrupt dates."

	Nabiki: ::Scowling:: "Now, where's the fun in that?"

	Maren: "I think that's a very good idea."

	Katie: ::Looking at Nabs:: "No kidding.  If you could do that, you'd use all of your 
	business connections and owed favors to stop us from going anywhere but the Burger King."

	Maren: "Then its settled.  Now, what about the time limit?"

	Katie: "I think 6 months is a good time."

	Lauren: "No way.  That's barely enough time to be able to call someone your good friend,
	let alone husband.  I'd have to say 1 year, minimum."

	Nabiki: "Alright, we'll reconvene in 1 year to further discuss long term time 
	limitations."

	Katie: ::Confused look:: "Huh?"

	Maren: "In 1 year we'll all meet again and talk about how long the game should continue."

	Katie: "Oh.  Well, if that's what she meant, why didn't she say that?"

	Nabiki: ::Annoyed:: "I DID say that."

	Lauren: "I didn't understand a word you said."

	Nabiki: "Well, just because I live with a bunch of monosyllabic primates that more 
	closely resemble cro-magnon man than a modern homo sapien."

	Maren: "Nabiki, be nice."

	Katie: "Why?  What'd she say?"

	Maren: "Nevermind.  You don't need to know.  Lets go downstairs and tell the men 
	about the arrangement."

*****

(Living room.  Tom has his shirt on again, as does he have his headphones on again.  Dan 
is now listening to his own CD player, and Mr. Tendo is fighting to keep concious during 
Mr. Saotome's never-ending story)

	Mr. S.: "...Then Tom said "papa, why is he so bad?"  BWAAAAAAAAHHHHH HAHAHAHAHA!   Isn't 
	that great?  Well, that brings us up to Tom's 6th birthday, when..."

	Nabiki: ::Interrupting Mr. S., even though she's enjoying watching her dad suffer 
	through the `Vacation to Idaho slide show' of stories:: "We've made a decision."

	Dan: ::Holding an air guitar and nodding his head in time to the music while strumming 
	the air guitar:: "HAS HE LOST HIS MIND?  CAN HE SEE OR IS HE BLIND?"

	Mr. S.: ::Takes Dan's head phones off and says:: "Hey, Dan!  You're yelling again!"

	Dan: ::Sheepishly:: "Oh.  Heh heh.  Sorry about that." ::Puts his headphones back on 
	but turns the volume way down this time::

	Tom: ::Notices the ladies are back and puts his phones around his neck:: "'Sup?"

	Nabiki: "We've made a decision"

	Mr. Tendo: "Well?  Which one of my babies is going to get married?"

	Tom: "Oh, before you say who, let me make one stipulation"

	Nabiki: "You've got your rights here, too.  Name it."

	Tom: ::Nods his head in half-acknowledgement and half-thanks:: "I'm not getting married 
	until I'm out of high school, and probably not until I'm out of college.  Well, at 
	least my first 4 years of college."

	Nabiki: "Seems fair enough to me.  Any of you mind?" ::Looks to her sisters, who 
	shake their heads no::

	Mr. T.: ::Stands up:: "Wait!  Don't I get a say in this?"

	Tendo sisters: "NO!"

	Mr. T.: ::Sits back down:: "Sorry."

	Nabiki: ::Looks around the room at everyone, then stops on Tom.:: "Well, Tom, we're 
	going to have some fun in the next year.  You are going to get to know Lauren, Katie 
	and I better in that time.  At the end of the year, we'll re-evaluate the position."

	Mr. T.: "What about Maren?"

	Maren: "He's too young for me, father.  I'm sorry, Tom, I hope you don't feel bad that 
	I don't want to marry you."

	Tom: ::Smiles:: "Now why would I feel bad?  It's your choice, and because you don't, I 
	have one less evaluator in the next year."

	Lauren: "I knew it.  I knew he'd see this as some sort of experiment."

	Nabiki: "Well, it really is, Lauren.  However,..." ::Looks to Tom and frowns a bit:: 
	"...I don't think it would be good to see us as evaluators.  You should see us as 
	people, not scientists performing experiments.  If you do that, it could taint the 
	results..." ::Realizes what she just said and begins to say something else as Tom 
	smiles and interrupts::

	Tom: "I see where you're coming from.  I'm sorry for referring to you like that.  I 
	shouldn't have.  But you do realize that this will be a burden on me, and on no one 
	else, right?"

	Nabiki: "Yes, but this burden will have a great reward if you endure it."

	Tom: "Granted, but that doesn't make the actual process of enduring it any easier."

	Nabiki: "Point taken."

	Katie: "I don't know what you two just said, but I have a good idea, and I have a way 
	to help you out, Tom."

	Tom: ::Smirks and looks at Katie:: "Oh?  How's that?"

	Katie: "I'll withdraw.  Then, you'll only have to deal with Nabiki and Lauren, and I'll 
	be able to chase Dan and...Oh!  Oh, no!" ::Looks to Dan, who is totally oblivious::

	Tom: ::Laughs:: "Don't worry about it.  When he has those head phones on, he can't 
	hear a thing going on outside them.  In fact, you could say anything to him right now, 
	and he couldn't hear you.  Watch:" ::Goes up closer to Dan and says a little louder than 
	normal:: "Hey, Dan!  You want to marry Katie, right?'

	Dan: ::Looks up and lifts one half of his head phones off of his head:: "Huh?  Oh, yeah.
	Right." ::Goes back to his music::

	Tom: ::Smiles and looks at Katie who is glowing like a squirrel on a power line:: "See?"

	Mr. S.: ::Claps his hands and stands up:: "So, now that that's settled, where will we be 
	staying?"

*****

(Tendo dojo, guest room, 6:00 AM the next day)

	Mr. S.: ::Yelling and shaking Tom and Dan:: "Wake up!!!  It's already six!"

	Tom: ::Rolling over and covering his face with his pillow:: "Wake me up when it's time 
	to go to bed."

	Dan: "I second that motion."

	Mr. S.: ::Stands up straight and crosses his arms across his chest:: "Be up in 1 minute, 
	or you'll be sorry."

	Tom and Dan: "*GROAN*"

::Mr. S. leaves the room.  About a minute later he comes back with a bucket of something.  
He empties half of its contents onto Tom, and half onto Dan."

	Dan and Onna-Tom: ::jumping out of their sleeping bags:: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

	Mr. S.: ::Holding his finger to his lips in the `ssshhh' gesture:: "SSSSSHHHHH!!!  
	The rest of the house isn't awake yet!  Do you want to get kicked out of the house 
	on the second day we're here?"

	Onna-Tom: "Yeah, well we wouldn't have screamed if you hadn't poured cold water on us!"

	Mr. S.: ::Scowling:: "I wouldn't have had to pour the water on you if you'd gotten up 
	when I told you to."

	Dan: ::Shivering a little:: "Well, if you'd woken us up when IT WAS LIGHT OUTSIDE, maybe 
	we would've been more receptive."

	Mr. S.: "If I'd done that, you wouldn't have had enough time to do your morning practice,
	then shower and eat before school started."

	Dan: ::Wrapping himself in a blanket:: "School?"

	Mr. S.: ::Nodding and putting the bucket in the corner of the room:: "You two start 
	school today.  Dan, since you're a year older than Tom, you'll be a junior and Tom'll 
	be a sophomore.  Nabiki will show Dan around and Lauren will show Tom around."

	Dan: "Awwww.  I HATE school!"

	Onna-Tom: ::Already dressed in clothes resembling what she wore the night before:: 
	"Well, its better than practicing martial arts all day, right?"

	Dan: ::Amazed at how fast Tom got dressed:: "How do you do that?"

	Onna-Tom: ::Rolls her eyes:: "Oh, feh.  Will you hurry up?  I don't want pops making 
	us do some more of those `dexterity excercises', do you?"

	Dan: ::Sticks his tongue out in disgust:: "Not at all."

	Mr. S.: ::Smirking:: "Very attractive, Dan.  But my feet do need another good rub, and 
	you would benefit from building some dexterity..."

	Dan: ::Hastily dressing:: "Sorry, don't have time to talk, I've gotta go spar with Tom."

	Mr. S.: "Damn straight."

*****

(Tendo dojo, backyard.  6:.oh hell.  A little while later)

	Onna-Tom: ::Breathing heavily:: "Nice, Dan.  Almost got me that time."

	Dan: ::Also breathing heavily, with a scratch on his left cheek:: "Yeah, I'm surprised, 
	too.  I usually can't even come close to touching you.  What's wrong?  The new body 
	getting to you?"

	Onna-Tom: ::Fidgeting with her clothes:: "Yeah, a little.  I still have to get used to 
	fighting in it."

	Mr. S.: ::Sitting on the porch and scowling at the two resting teens in front of him:: 
	"Well, if you'd actually practice in your female form, it might be a little easier.  This
	is the first time you've actually sparred while a girl."

	Onna-Tom: ::Looking to Mr. S.:: "Can I help it if I'm more comfy in my male form?"

	Mr. S.: "I'm not saying you have to like it, I'm just saying that you should get used to 
	it.  What if you get doused with water in the middle of a fight?"

	Onna-Tom: "I'm not planning on getting in any fights."

	Mr. S.: ::Incredulous:: "What?  Why?"

	Onna-Tom: "I don't care what people think about me, and I have better things to do with 
	my time than to beat someone I barely know into a bloody pulp."

	Mr. S.: "That's no way for a martial artist to think.  Letting your guard down, boy."

::Even before Mr. S. said that last sentence, Onna-Tom saw Dan coming for him with a roundhouse.
He easily ducks below it and sweeps his leg to trip Dan.  Dan saw this coming as well, and was
already above Onna-Tom's head when her leg got to where his used to be.  Dan lands, but fails 
to see Onna-Tom springing off her outstreched foot to execute a backflip in mid-air and land 
a 2-footed kick to his back::

	Dan: ::Hitting the ground and rolling to a standing position:: "Nice one, there, but you 
	left yourself wide open."

	Onna-Tom: ::Somersaulting and twisting to land in a crouched position facing Dan:: "Did
	you hit me? No.  Therefore it doesn't matter how open I left myself."

	Mr. S.: ::Scowling very largely now:: "Not true!  If you leave yourself that open in a
	real fight with someone of your level of skill or higher, you'll be on the ground faster 
	than you can say `antidisestablishmentarianism'."

	Dan: ::Dropping out of his fighting stance:: "He's right, you know.  I think I'm done for
	this morning, but tomorrow you're mine!  Oh, and Tom?" ::Fingers the scratch on his 
	cheek:: "Tomorrow, leave the sword in the room, OK?"

	Onna-Tom: ::Stands up while chuckling and taking out what looks to be a shorter bokken:: 
	"What, you don't approve of my weapon?"

	Mr. S.: ::Stands up as well:: "I wish you wouldn't use a weapon, Tom.  That just lets 
	the oponnent know where the attack's coming from."

	Onna-Tom: ::Twirling the wooden short sword in his hands:: "That's why I like the short 
	sword, pops.  You can clasp it to the small of your back under your shirt to conceal the 
	weapon for a surprise attack, and you can also have a sheath back there so you can put 
	it back and fight hand-to-hand to avoid falling into a pattern.  The oponnent doesn't 
	know whether the attack is coming from your hands, your feet, or your short sword.  
	That's when you hit him with your head."

	Dan: ::Smirking at that last comment:: "Lord knows you've got a hard enough head for 
	that."

	Onna-Tom: ::neutral expression, again:: "Eh, whatever.  Say what you want, but I'm far 
	more perceptive and more academically advanced than you are any day of the week."

	Dan: "What about Saturdays?"

	Onna-Tom: ::Snaps her fingers:: "Drat!  Foiled again!  I forgot about Saturdays."

	Mr. S.: ::Looking at his watch:: "Well, it's about 7:00 in the morning, now.  You two 
	should go shower.  We're using the guest bathroom across the hall from our room.  The 
	bus to school comes at eight, so be ready.  I got you both backpacks.  They're by your 
	sleeping bags.  The blue one is Dan's, and the black one is Tom's" ::And with that he 
	goes to set up the chess board and waits for Mr. Tendo to come down.::

	Dan: ::Walking towards the house:: "Big surprise there."

	Onna-Tom: ::Puts the short bokken back into its sheath at the small of her back, and 
	also heads towards the house:: "Now, what's wrong with the color black?"

*****

(Kitchen, 7:50.  All the Tendos are eating their breakfasts, and Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome are 
playing chess.  Tom and Dan are nowhere to be seen)

	Mr. T.: ::Studying the position:: "So, if Tom's your son, then who's Dan?"

	Katie: ::Immediately interested in this topic of conversation:: "Yes, tell me all about 
	Dan!"

	Nabiki: ::Smirks a little at her sister's obvious infatuation with Dan:: "Actually, I've 
	been wondering that myself."

	Mr. S.: ::Moves a piece, but continues to study the position:: "He's a childhood friend 
	of Tom's.  We stopped in Oregon for a while when Tom was about 10, and he and Dan became 
	fast friends through school.  About 3 months later, I decided that it was time to leave 
	for Mexico for a while, and at the same time, Dan's parents got a divorce.  Dan took 
	this pretty hard, but understood the situation completely.  However, he didn't want to 
	see his parents apart, so he decided to come with us.  I was reluctant at first, but 
	after I got him to leave notes explaining the situation to his parents and Tom...persuaded
	me to let him come along, I did.  That wasn't the only reason he wanted to come along, 
	though.  He was bored out of his skull in Oregon.  He wanted some change.  And for an 
	11-year-old, that's pretty mature."

	Mr. T.: ::Moves a piece while chuckling:: "`Persuaded'?"

	Mr. S.: ::Moves another piece:: "I couldn't swallow for a week."

	Mr. T.: ::Begins to move a piece, but takes his hand off of the piece before he picks 
	it up:: "You couldn't even beat him when he was ten?"

	Lauren: "Probably cocky about that, too."

	Maren: "If Tom's as mature Mr. Saotome says Dan is, he's not."

Katie: ::Sighs dreamily:: "Dan.Such a mature man."

	Lauren: ::Smiles at her sister:: "Go for it, Kat.  He'll be lucky to get you."

	Katie: ::Turns to Lauren with expectant eyes:: "You really think he'd like me?"

	Nabiki: ::Says from behind the business section of the paper, with VERY thinly veiled 
	sarcasm:: "Anything's possible, I guess."

	Katie: ::Doesn't get the sarcasm, and almost faints from happiness:: "Oh, Dan, my knight 
	is shining armor."

	Maren: ::Holding out 5 bag lunches:: "Here are your lunches." ::Notices the absence of 
	Tom and Dan:: ".Where are Tom and Dan?  The bus will be here in 5 minutes."

::As she says this, Dan and Tom come up the stairs.  Dan has bleached his hair blonde, is 
wearing jeans and a T-shirt, and is carrying a dark blue backpack.  Tom, back in his male form,
is wearing his black Raiders hat, black wire-rimmed sunglasses, a black pair of jeans, a black 
shirt, a black trenchcoat, black tennis shoes (the pair he usually wears), black leather gloves,
and is carrying a black backpack::

	All Tendos but Maren: ::Stare at the two incredulously::

	Mr. S.: ::Looks up at the pair:: "Oh, is that what took so long, Dan?"

	Dan: ::Running a hand through his wavy blonde hair:: "Yeah.  I had no idea it took that 
	long to bleach hair."

	Tom: ::Takes the bag lunch that Maren hands him and puts it in his backpack, which he 
	then zips up and puts on his shoulder:: "I still think you should go with the earring, 
	but that's just my opinion."

	Dan: ::Also doing the lunch thing:: "Yeah, but I haven't had time to actually get my ear 
	pierced yet, and clip-ons are lame."

	Tom: ::Looks at clock on wall:: "Whatever.  Hey, isn't the bus supposed to be here soon?"

	Mr. T.: ::Looks at Mr. S. with wide eyes:: "You never told me that Tom was one of those 
	weird violent black-wearing teenagers!"

	Tom: ::No reaction whatsoever:: "I'm not, Mr. Tendo.  I just like the color black, and 
	besides, both pairs of my blue jeans are dirty.  You can't judge a book by its cover, 
	you know."

	Maren: ::Smiling:: "He's right, father.  You shouldn't do that."

	Katie: "I knew he was a weirdo.  Now I'm glad I dropped out of the contest."

	Maren: ::Scowling a large Maren scowl, which translates into a slight crease in the 
	forehead:: "Kat!  That was very rude!" ::Turns to Tom:: "I'm very sorry.  She didn't 
	mean it."

	Tom: ::Waves his hand dismissively:: "No problem.  Compared to some of the reactions I 
	get, that was pretty tame."

	Lauren: ::Still staring at Tom:: "Yeah.well.umm." ::The clock on the wall catches her 
	eye:: "Oh!  The bus will be here soon!  We'd better get going!" ::Gets up, grabs her 
	lunch and backpack, and jogs towards the door::

	Nabiki: ::Eying her sister:: "Hey, Lauren!  Those jeans are a bit tight, aren't they?  
	Don't you hate tight clothes?  Or is there something-or someone-that's more important 
	than your comfort?" ::Smirk::

	Lauren: ::Blushing, but going out the door:: "What are you talking about, Nabs?"

	Katie: ::Smiling:: "Oooooohhhhh!  I think Lauren likes you, Tom!"

	Nabiki: ::Gets up and grabs her stuff, heading for the door:: "Did you say `think'?  
	Don't you mean `know for a fact'?"

	Dan: ::Nudges Tom:: "Well, what do you think about that?"

	Tom: ::Heads towards the door and shrugs:: "Whatever"

	Dan: ::Sighs:: "Typical Tom response.  Should've seen that coming a mile away." ::Heads 
	to the door as well::

::The room is empty save Katie, Maren, and the two fathers for about 2 seconds when Tom pops 
his head back in the door, and speaks to Mr. Tendo::

	Tom: "Hey, Mr. T.  Bishop takes c4, checkmate in 5." ::And with that, he's gone again::

	Mr. T.: ::Examines the board, then smiles and looks at Mr. S.:: "He's right!  How does 
	he do that?"

	Mr. S.: ::Tips his king, signifying resignation of the game:: "He's a really good chess 
	player, Adam.  Too good, if you ask me."

	Maren: ::Smiling:: "Don't like to lose, Mr. Saotome?"

	Mr. S.: ::Setting up the board for another game:: "Not at all."

*****

(Edina High School, 8:15 AM.  Bus # 94 is unloading passengers, and the 2 Tendo sisters and 
the two houseguests get off.)

	Tom: "Hey, Nabiki?  Why isn't Katie here with us?  Isn't she a freshman?"

	Lauren: ::Heading up the stairs and into the school:: "Yeah, but Edina has a messed up 
	school system.  9th graders are in the middle school, leaving the sophomores as the 
	youngest in the senior high.  Not only that, but they get to start 20 minutes later than 
	us, too."

	Nabiki: ::Opening the door into school:: "I believe he was asking me, Lauren"

	Tom: ::Entering the school as well:: "Actually, I was asking anyone who was listening.  
	I just said your name because I had to.  To make the sentences complete, that is.  You 
	know, there needs to be an object of inquisition when asking a question, unless it's a 
	rhetorical question, which that wasn't."

	Dan: ::Shakes his head in disgust at Tom's ignorance:: "That's not what she meant, Tom.  
	She meant...oh, never mind.  So Nabs,..."

	Nabiki: "Nabiki, please."

	Dan: "So Nabiki, where are all of my classes?"

	Nabiki: ::Sighs:: "Come with me.  I'll show you around, and then to your first class."

::Dan and Nabiki walk off, leaving Lauren and Tom to continue the trek to Lauren's locker:: 

	Lauren: ::Opening her locker:: "You'll get assigned a locker."

	Guy (1): "Hey, kid.  Are you evil?" ::Speaking to Tom::

	Tom: "Yes, I am.  I am actually the evil god of hellfire, if you must know.  Yes, I am 
	the god of hellfire, and I bring you fire."

	Guy (1): ::To guy (2):: "See, I told you he was evil!"

	Guy (2): "Idiot!  He was being sarcastic!"

	Tom: ::Back to Lauren:: "I'm sorry about that.  You were saying?"

	Lauren: ::Finishing packing her backpack for the first half of the day:: "I was saying 
	that you'll get assigned a locker first period."

	Girl (1): "Hey, freak!  Why are you dressed like that?"

	Girls (2+3): "Yeah, why are you dressed like that, you weirdo?"

	Tom: ::Turns to them:: "I'm dressed this way for a funeral"

	Girl (1): ::Deflates a little and her mask of superiority falters:: "Oh!  I'm sorry, I 
	didn't realize.  Who died?"

	Tom: ::Shrugs:: "It depends on who the next person is to make an insulting comment on my 
	attire."

	Girls (1, 2+3): ::Look a little scared, and quickly walk away::

	Lauren: ::Closes her locker and looks at Tom:: "Was that really necessary?"

	Tom: "Stupid question, stupid answer.  So, you were saying about my locker?  You know 
	what, nevermind the locker.  That leads to interruptions.  What about my classes?"

	Lauren: ::Chuckles a bit:: "Alright, follow me.  Your first class is in room 349."

*****

(Dan's new locker.  Dan's just closing it)

	Dan: ::Looks at a white card.  To himself:: "Alright, my next class is.lunch.  Alright!"

::While he's looking at the card, he doesn't see where he's going, and runs into a senior guy::

	Senior: "Hey, watch where you're going!  You spilled my coke!"

	Dan: "Sorry about that." ::Walks away:: <Great.  I've already got a guy who wants to 
	kill me.>

::Gets to the lunch room, and sees an empty table.  He goes to it and sits down and starts 
eating.About 1 minute later 2 guys sit down across the table from him::

	New guy (1): "Hey, you new here?"

	Dan: "Yeah, why?"

	New guy (1): "Never seen you before.  Wanted to know why.  I'm Peter.  You a senior?"

	Dan: ::Shakes his head and takes a sip of his drink:: "Nope, I'm a junior."

	Peter: ::Smiles:: "That's good.  I was hoping you were.  That puts us on equal footing."

	New guy (2): ::Extends his hand:: "Name's Art, but everyone calls me Bitch"

	Dan: ::Smirks a little at this, but shakes Bitch's hand:: "Don't you mind?"

	Bitch: ::Shrugs:: "Nah.  I used to, but I guess I just got used to it after a while."

	Peter: "So, do you have a name, or should we just call you new kid?"

	Dan: "The Name's Dan.  Sorry."

	Bitch: "You should be, you whore."

	Peter: "That's Bitch's way of telling you that there was no need to apologize."

	Dan: "I'll have to remember that."

	Peter: "Anyway, you're my new friend.  Seeing as you're my new friend, you should tell 
	me about yourself."

	Bitch: "But do so without using any vowels.  Vowels annoy me."

	Dan: ::Laughs:: "You're my kind of people."

*****

(Tom's locker.  Tom's just closing it)

	Tom: <Alrighty, my next class is AP Bio.  Cool.  A cheez class.>

	Guy (35): "Hey, kid!"

	Tom: ::Turns around to see 3 guys walking towards him.  One is about 6 feet, and the 
	other two are 5'11'' and 6'1''.  The first one is asian, the second two are caucasian::
	"Yeah?"

	Guy (35): "Why are you dressed like that?"

	Tom: "You do realize that you are probably about the 32nd person to ask me that today, 
	right?"

	Guy (35): "Yeah, but the rest of them didn't like it.  I do.  There's the difference."

	Tom: "Well, I wear this because I like it.  No other reason than that."

	Guy (36): "That's cool.  I'm Blake."

	Guy (37): ::Waves a little `hey' wave:: "Luke"

	Guy (35): "And I'm Alonzo Pedro Miguel Vazquez Martinez Del Fuego Del Infierno Con Mucho 
	Salsa Y Un Poco Del Pollo En Un Saucia De Alfredo Pero Sin Pantalones Cuando Elefantes 
	Blancos Y Telefonos Rojos Maquillanse En Salsa Y Leche Con Frijoles."

	Tom: "Nice to meet you Blake, Luke, Alonzo Pedro Miguel Vazquez Martinez Del Fuego Del 
	Infierno Con Mucho Salsa Y Un Poco Del Pollo En Un Saucia De Alfredo Pero Sin Pantalones 
	Cuando Elefantes Blancos Y Telefonos Rojos Maquillanse En Salsa Y Leche Con Frijoles.
	I'm Tom."

	Alonzo: "Actually, my name is Jack.  I'm impressed that you were not only not freaked out
	by that fake name, but actually remembered the whole thing, too."

	Luke: "Yeah, Jack likes to mess with people's minds.  He's ruthless when it comes to 
	poker.  Have you ever seen the movie `The Graduate'?  You know what I can't stand?  
	Black olives.  Do you like Metallica?"

	Blake: ::Blink blink:: "...WHAT?  What is wrong with you?"

	Jack: "Smoking the hashish again?"

	Tom: "So, where you guys headed?"

	Jack: "Advanced Placement Biology for me and Luke.  Blake's going to..."

	Blake: ::Interrupting Jack:: ".Have sex with a lot of women."

	Tom: <Ahhh...High school.  Where everything revolves around either beer or sex.  Well, 
	they're a bit weird, but they seem like nice people.  I guess I could use to make some 
	friends> "Well, of course that's what you're doing IMMEDIATELY after this, but I meant 
	after that."

	Blake: ::Smiling:: "Didn't even skip a beat!  I like that!"

::Bell rings::

	Jack: "Well, that's the warning bell.  We've got two minutes to get to AP Bio, so, see 
	ya later Tom." ::Starts to walk away with Luke, while Blake goes the opposite direction::

	Tom: ::Catches up to Luke and Jack, and walks beside them:: "I'm going there, too.  So, 
	does this school have internet access?"

*****

(Lunch room, after AP Bio.  Tom=sitting at a table with Jack and Luke, Jack=telling Tom about 
himself, and inquiring about Tom.  ...A little)

	Jack: ::Holding his hands about 3 feet apart:: "...And when I was only 6 years old, I 
	caught a Tiger shark this big!  Do I kick ass, or what?"

	Tom: "What.  Definitely what."

	Jack: ::Frowns, then laughs:: "I suppose I have been talking about myself..."

	Luke: "Nonstop?"

	Jack: "...Well, I was going to say `a bit much', but that would work a little better."

	Luke: "No kidding.  So Tom?  Where did you move here from?"

	Tom: "All over.  I didn't really have a permanent residence.  I travelled around a lot."

	Jack: ::Interested:: "Why?"

	Tom: ::Sighs:: "Well, my dad's this major martial arts freak, and he has been training 
	me ever since I was a baby.  He said that I couldn't live in one place for too long, 
	because there were so many different places to train all over the world."

	Jack: ::Eyes wide:: "Really?"

	Tom: "What would I have to gain from lying to you?"

	Luke: "Rhetorical question, Tom."

	Tom: ::Smiling:: "I know, I just like to mess with people like that."

	Jack: ::Ignoring the previous conversation:: "So, you can, like, kick anyone's ass?"

	Tom: ::Sighs:: "I suppose you could put it that way.  I don't really like to flaunt my 
	martial arts experience, so keep quiet about it, please."

	Luke: ::Puzzled:: "Why?  If I could go around whupping people's asses for no reason, I'd 
	do it."

	Tom: "I don't like to draw attention to myself.  I prefer to exist outside the confines 
	of society and popularity.  If people knew I could whip anyone's ass I wanted to, people 
	would constantly either kiss my ass or try to be my friend.  I don't need a bunch of 
	people who only want to be my friend because they don't want me to kick their asses 
	hanging around me."

	Jack: "Good point."

	Luke: "Dude!  Look who's coming over here!" ::Looking above Tom's head::

	Jack: ::Looks up, and his eyes go wide:: "Oh, man!  She can't be coming over here to 
	talk to us, can she?"

	Tom: ::Confused:: "Who is it?"

	Luke: ::Going back to eating his lunch, and trying WAY too hard to look natural:: 
	"Nevermind.  Just act natural, like me."

	Jack: ::Also trying too hard to act natural:: "Just act normal, Jack.  Just act normal."

	Tom: ::Turns his head to see who it is that they are talking about, only to see Lauren 
	coming over to their table.  Smiles a faint smile:: "Hey, Lauren.  You've got this lunch?"
	
	Lauren: ::Coming up to the table:: "Yup.  Mind if I sit with you guys?"

	Jack and Luke: ::Jaws agape with surprise::

	Tom: ::Pulls the chair out for her:: "Be my guest.  That is..." ::Looks to Jack and Luke::
	 "...If you two don't mind."

	Jack: "N...n...n...not at a-a-all."

	Luke: "...s-s-s-sure."

	Lauren: ::Sits down and takes out her lunch:: "So, Tom, how are you liking Edina High 
	School?"

	Tom: ::Shrugs:: "Well, besides the few people who freak out when they see how I'm 
	dressed, most everyone I meet is nice.  I like the fact that every class in this school 
	is easy, too."

	Lauren: ::Slight frown:: "Huh?  Easy?"

	Tom: ::Polishes off his lunch:: "Yup.  Easy cheez.  I love it."

	Lauren: ::Incredulous:: "Even 'AP Bio' And 'Functions, Statistics, and Trigonometry'?"

	Tom: ::Shrugs:: "Well, at least I think so.  But that's just an opinion."

	Lauren: ::Takes a bite of her sandwich:: "Wow.  I hate those classes."

	Tom: "Why?"

	Lauren: "Well, there's a lot of homework, and I don't completely understand everything 
	they're teaching, so homework takes me a while.  Not to mention homecoming is this 
	weekend, and I'm gonna be stuck inside doing math instead of going."

	Tom: "Well, would you like it if I helped you with it?"

	Lauren: ::Surprised a little at this:: "Huh?  Oh, no, thank you.  It's not that big of a 
	deal."

	Tom: ::sits back in his chair:: "Well, you said that you want to go to homecoming, but 
	you can't if you have to do math homework, right?"

	Lauren: "Yeah, but..."

	Tom: "So, if I help you with your math homework, you'll be able to go."

	Lauren: ::Thinks about this for a second, then shakes her head:: "Nah.  I wouldn't want 
	you to sacrifice your time just to help me with math.  Besides, I don't even have a date 
	for homecoming."

	Jack and Luke: ::At the same time:: "I'll take you to homecoming!"

	Lauren: ::Looks at the two:: "You both already asked me, and I said no.  You two already 
	have dates, and I'd never break up a date, even if it did mean I got to go to homecoming."

	Tom: "Well, I have an idea, then.  I'm supposed to be getting to know you better, right?
	So, if I help you with your math, we'll get more of a chance to do that, and after that's
	done, I can go to homecoming with you.  If you'll go with me, that is."

	Lauren: ::Turns back to Tom and blushes a bit:: "W-w-what?  Um, OK, I guess."

	Tom: ::Smiles:: "Then we have a plan."

	Jack: "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I ENVY YOU?"

	Tom: ::Frown:: "Huh?"

	Luke: ::Raising his voice:: "YOU JUST ASKED LAUREN TENDO...LAUREN TENDO...TO HOMECOMING!"

	Jack: ::Yelling:: "AND SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!!"

	Group of girls: "You're going to homecoming, Lauren?  *Giggle incessantly* Tell us all 
	about it!!!"

	Lauren: ::Blushes and buries her face in her hands before being swept away into the 
	abyss by the wall of girls::

	Tom: "What's so big about that?"

	Jack: ::Faints::

	Luke: ::Eyes wider than should be humanly possible:: "Lauren Tendo is the most 
	beautiful, smart, talented girl in our school!  Not only that, but whenever someone has 
	asked her to anything in the past-be it a dance or a date-she's refused without 
	hesitating!  She must really like you!"

	Tom: ::Shrugs:: "Possible, I guess.  I think it's because I'm living with her, and she 
	wants to be nice to me."

	Luke: ::Eyes grow to proportions that would make even Looney Tunes animators scoff:: 
	"YOU LIVE WITH HER?!?" ::Faints dead away::

	Tom: ::Blink blinks, then gets up to throw his trash away:: "...Whatever..."

*****

(Unidentified area.  Dan is walking through a mob of people.)

::Some guy comes out of nowhere and stands in Dan's way::

	Guy: "Well, well, well.  Look who we have here."

	Dan: ::Studying his face.  Suddenly it hits him:: "You're the senior I accidentally ran 
	into earlier, aren't you?"

	Senior: "Yup.  You stained my shirt.  NO ONE stains Pepe's shirt."

	Dan: ::Smirk:: "Pepe?"

	Pepe: "You making fun of my name?  You think that's funny?"

::All the students immediately form a ring around the two teens::

	Dan: "Listen, I'm sorry about your shirt.  It was an accident.  And I didn't mean to 
	make fun of your name.  It's just that I didn't expect you to be named Pepe."

	Pepe: "Well, I don't think I can let you get away with this, because if Pepe lets you 
	get away with this, Pepe would have to let everyone get away with that.  And I can't do 
	that.  Pepe has a reputation to uphold." ::Starts to step towards him::

	Voice: "Hey, Dan!  Go easy on him!"

	Dan: ::Smiles:: "Hey, Tom.  Why should I?" ::Looks behind Pepe to see the black boy with 
	Nabiki::

	Tom: "Just because."

	Dan: ::Tosses his backpack to Tom, who catches it easily:: "Nah.  I feel frisky."

	Pepe: ::Laughs:: "Do you think you can beat Pepe?"

	Dan: "No." ::Drops into a fighting stance:: "I KNOW I can beat Pepe."

	Pepe: ::Hate flashes in his eyes:: "Time to feel pain, junior scum."

::And with that, Pepe lunges at Dan, as if to tackle him.  Dan easily jumps over him.::

	Pepe: ::Turns around to face Dan again:: "Chicken man.  Running away from my wrath?"

::Pepe trys to hit Dan with a right hook, but Dan catches it and uses Pepe's momentum to flip 
him onto his back.  However, instead of ending the fight right there, he backs off and waits 
for Pepe to get up.  The crowd OOOOHHHHHS::

	Pepe: ::Getting up:: "That's it!  I'm gonna kick your ass, kid!"

::See previous answer, but add a jab to the gut::

	Pepe: ::Getting up, clutching his stomach:: "I *Cough* am going to kick your..."

	Dan: "...ass?  You said that already."

	Pepe: ::Charging him:: "AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!"

::Dan just sidesteps and lands a fierce sidekick to his open side.  Pepe hits the wall HARD.  
Amazingly enough, he's still concious, although he IS lying on the ground::

	Dan: ::Walking over to Pepe:: <Still concious?  Must be a football player> "Hey, Pepe?  
	Do me a favor?  Leave me alone.  Do that, and I won't kick your ass for real." ::Turns 
	to walk away, but says over his shoulder before he leaves:: "Oh, and Pepe?  The third 
	person thing?  Only works if you don't switch between `Pepe' and `I', not to mention 
	that it's incredibly annoying." ::Walks over to Tom and Nabiki amongst clapping and 
	cheering from the crowd::

	Nabiki: "I hope you realize what you've just done, Dan.  You've turned Pepe from 
	someone who would've bothered you once every two weeks to someone who'll bother you 
	every day."

	Dan: ::Shrugs, and starts to walk away from the crowd (who is still cheering, by the 
	way) with Nabs and Tom:: "I'll just have to kick his ass every day, then.  Which way's 
	the bus?"

	Nabiki: ::Sighs and shakes her head:: "Over here.  Tom, c'mon."

*****

(Lauren's locker)

::Lauren is getting the things she needs to bring home into her backpack when a tall shadow 
falls over her::

	Man: "Why, Lauren Tendo.  What a coincidence seeing you here.  Well, as long as we're 
	both here, would you like to leap into my arms and smother my face with plentiful 
	kisses?"

***Intermission***

da da da da da daaaa da daaaaaaa
da da da da da daa da daaaaaa

de daaaaaaaa da de da dummmmmmm

da da daa da da daaaaa
da da da de da deeeeeeeeeee

dum de daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

* Chorus 
  de da dooooo do da deeee
  de de de de deeeeeeee
  da dooooooooooooooo

de dummmmmm
de deeeeeeeee
da de da deeeee
da dooooooooo

Da DAAAAAAAAAAAA 
Da da dEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Da De DOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.








DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Da da da DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Da da da DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Do doooooooooooooo

Chorus

Lu laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Me maaaaaaaaaaaaa
Te taaaaaaaaaaaaa  
Fe faaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Lu looooooooooo
Me moooooooooooo
Ti tooooooooooooooo
Di dooooooooooooooo

Chorus


Da daaaaaaaaaaaaa da daaaaaaa
Da da daaaaaaaaaa
Daaaaaaa
Da
(Ritard)
Da dummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

***End Intermission***

	Lauren: ::Still in her locker:: "Not now, Samson.  I'm gonna miss my bus.  And what do 
	you mean by `coincidence'?  You stop by my locker every day at this time."

	Samson: "You pretend not to be interested, but I can see through your facade."

	Lauren: ::Sighs as she zips up her backpack and closes her locker:: "Goodbye, Samson"

	Samson: ::Holds up a hand to keep Lauren there a little longer:: "Hold up, Lauren.  I 
	wish to keep you here a little longer."

	Lauren: ::Flatly:: "Why?"

	Samson: "I am sure that you are aware that homecoming is this weekend, and I do not, as 
	of yet, have a date.  So, I was wondering if you would consider letting me accompany you 
	to that little suaree."

	Lauren: "Forget it, Samson.  I already have a date."

	Samson: ::Jaw open:: "What?  Who?"

	Lauren: ::As she pushes her way past Samson:: "Tom Saotome.  You know, the new kid in 
	all black?"

	Samson: ::Grips his baseball bat tight:: <Saotome...vile cur.  You shalt taste the cold 
	steel of my bat.  Keeping the lovely Lauren Tendo for thyself...inexcuseable>

*****

(Bus stop.  Bus #94 is unloading the gang, and the other people who get on and off at their 
stop)

	Nabiki: ::Walking towards the dojo with the rest of them:: "So, Tom, what did you think 
	of the classes I signed you up for?  You seemed pretty smart, so I tried to sign you up 
	for the hardest classes you could take so you wouldn't be bored."

	Dan: ::Grimaces:: "Woah!  Sorry, Tom.  You have my deepest sympathies."

	Tom: ::Smirk:: "Well, I thank you for the thought, but it turns out that they are quite 
	easy."

	Nabiki: ::Surprised:: "Really?  Even 'AP Bio'?"

	Tom: "Especially 'AP Bio'"

	Nabiki: "Wow.  You really ARE smart.  I hated 'AP Bio'"

	Dan: "Anyway, what is this homecoming thing I keep hearing about?  Everyone's talking 
	about it."

	Lauren: ::Blushes:: "It's a football game.  The first home game in a while."

	Nabiki: ::Not looking at Lauren, so she doesn't notice the blush:: "That, and it's a 
	dance.  Everyone's going.  It's this Saturday.  Speaking of which, I know it's already 
	Monday, but I think that you, Tom, should go with me.  It'd be a good chance to get to 
	know each other, and you'd get to make some friends."

	Tom: "I'm sorry, Nabiki, but I'm already going with Lauren."

	Nabiki: ::Monotone, and facing away from Lauren:: "Oh.  Well, then.  Dan, would you like 
	to go with me?"

	Dan: "Who, me?  Um, sure, I guess."

	Nabiki: "Alright, then.  We can go as a group.  You, Tom..." ::Coldly:: "...Lauren..." 
	::Normal again:: "...and I.  It'll be fun.  Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do 
	my homework."  ::Opens front door, and heads for her room::

	Lauren: ::Still blushing, but also feeling confused by the coldness in Nabiki's voice 
	when she said her name:: "Yeah, I'd better go do mine, too." ::Also goes to her room::

	Dan: ::Confused:: "What was that all about?"

	Tom: ::Sighs:: "I think they both like me."

	Dan: ::Even more confused:: "What's wrong with that?  You sound like that's bad."

	Tom: ::Starts towards the guest room:: "They're sisters, Dan.  I can't break apart two 
	sisters.  I couldn't live with myself." ::Disappears down the stairs::

	Dan: ::Closes front door and sighs:: "I believe there's going to be a lot of inner 
	monologue tonight."

*****

(That night.  Nabiki's room)

	Nabiki: ::Quietly, to herself:: "Why am I so hurt?  It's not like I actually LIKE this 
	Tom.  I mean, I was just doing this to break the monotony of everyday existence.  
	...Wasn't I?"  

<Maybe you were, but now I think you like him for real>  

	"Shut up.  What do you know?  I haven't loved anyone since."  

<Mom?>  

	::Beginning to cry:: "Shut up.  I don't need anyone.  They always just leave you in the 
	end.  People aren't worth the investment."  

<And what is?  Money?  Don't you get tired of money sometimes?  Don't you feel lonely?  Don't 
you want someone to love?>

	::Crying full out now:: "Shut up shut up shut UP!!!  I don't need anyone but myself!  
	I don't need Dad or Maren or Katie or...Lauren..." ::Something hits her:: "Oh, god.  
	I...I..."  

<Love her?  Love them?  It's okay to love your family.  You're allowed, you know.> 

	::Between sobs:: "But what about Tom?  What about anyone else I choose to...love?"  

<What about them?  Are you afraid of them leaving you?> 

	"YES!  I'm horrified of that.  I...I...I don't think I could...take it if that happened."  

<So don't obsess over him like this.  This is only hurting you.  You have your family to love, 
and your family to love you as well.  Wait until you're ready to love someone else to obsess 
over someone.  Not to mention the fact that you met him YESTERDAY>

	"But what if by the time I'm ready Tom is...in love with...with...L-L-Lauren?"  

<Then you'll have to look for someone else to love.  If you truly love Tom then, then you'll 
respect his decision and want him to be happy.  And you'll want him to make your sister happy, 
too.  Oh, and did I mention that you met him YESTERDAY?>

	"Well, what do I do about Tom now?  I mean, I...like him...but...but...what do I do to 
	make him like me?"  

<Nothing.  You can't MAKE someone like you.  And besides, didn't you just say that you aren't 
ready to love someone yet?  Have you listened to anything I've said?  Or anything you've said, 
for that matter?  And, I think I've said this before, but at the risk of repeating myself...
YOU MET HIM ----YESTERDAY----!>

	::Stopped crying, but still sniffling:: "Yeah, I guess you're right.  But still, what DO 
	I do about him?"  

<I think you should be his friend.  But, still make it look like you're interested in him.>  

	"Why?  Won't that just hurt me?"  

<Not if you become his friend for real.  You know, confide in him, have him help you out in 
times of need, and help him out when he needs it, too.  If you can turn him into someone who 
can help you open up your heart without claiming it for himself, you can live a happy life> 

	"Well, what about still acting like I'm interested?  What does that have to do with 
	anything?"  

<Well, if you do that, you'll make it look like Lauren has some competition, and she'll try 
harder to win Tom over.  You know that she likes him, but is also as afraid of opening up to 
someone as you are.  The difference between the two of you is this: you can heal better alone, 
and she heals better with someone.  If she opens up to Tom, she'll be happier>

	"Well, what if she opes up to him and he doesn't like her?"  

<That's another reason for you to become his friend.  You can ascertain if he likes her.  
If he does, you can covertly help the relationship prosper.  If he doesn't, you can find 
someone else for her to like.>

	"Ulterior motives.  I like it."  

<Good.  Now, it's late.  You should go to sleep.  Good night.>

	"Wait!  Who are you?"  

<I'm you.  Your thoughts and feelings manifested into a voice with one purpose: to talk some 
sense into that crazy head of yours.  Now, go to sleep.>

	::Closing her eyes, and smiling:: "Good night." ::Falls asleep::

	Mrs. Tendo: <Good night, my sweet little Nabiki.  I love you.>

*****

(That same night.  The guest room.)

	Dan: ::Asleep:: "I AM IRON MAN...*Snore*...CAN I SEE OR AM I BLIND?...*Snore*...WILL 
	I...WILL I..." ::Wakes up:: "Damn!  I can never remember the rest of those words!  Even 
	in my dreams!"

*WHUMP!*

	Mr. S.: ::Groggily:: "Go to sleep before I put you to sleep forcefully, Dan.  And give 
	me back my pillow."

	Dan: "Here you go, John." ::Tosses the pillow that just decked him back to Mr. S.::

	Dan: ::Lying down and closing his eyes:: <I wish I wasn't here for lame-ass comic relief 
	after scenes like that>

*****

(Same room) 

	Tom: <God, as if I didn't have enough problems in my life, now those two won't even let 
	me sleep!>  

::Tom tosses and turns for a couple of minutes, then resigns to fate and begins to think while 
staring at the ceiling without seeing it:: 

	Tom: <I hate the fact that I am coming between 2 sisters like this.  I wish that I could 
	just go back in time and change everything.  I'd stop pop from making this stupid 
	arrangement.  I'd stop pop from taking me away from mom.  I'd...I'd...*Sigh* I'd still 
	have been lonely.  I'd still have turned away from society.  ...I need to go break 
	something>

::Stealthily, Tom gets up from his sleeping bag, slips into a black pair of jeans, puts on his 
hat and his shoes, and goes out the door and up the stairs.  Upon completing his late night 
trek to the training hall (in the backyard.  Yeah, I know I haven't mentioned it until now, 
but it IS a dojo, so it has to have a training hall) he proceeds to find a training bag and 
begins unloading on it::

	Tom:  "I *Kick* hate *Jab jab jab* my *Roundhouse* LIFE!!! *Knifehand, roundhouse, 
	jumpkick* I wish I *Jab, sweep* knew what was *knifehand knifehand* going on in this 
	*Parry, headbutt* GODDAMN PLACE *Punch*"

::That last punch flies right through the training bag as if it wasn't there.  Padding flies
everywhere.  Tom withdraws his hand and collapses onto the floor, breathing heavily::

	Tom: <I wish I knew how Nabiki and Lauren felt about me.  I wish I knew how to interperet
	their actions towards me to achieve that end.  I wish I knew how I felt about THEM.  
	...No, that's not true.  I already know how I feel about them.  I just haven't thought 
	about it.  I've run away from it, as I have run away from everything else in my life>  

::FLASHBACK::

(9 years ago, Russia.  We see a 7-year-old Tom and a younger-looking Mr. Saotome sitting by an 
old furnace in an abandoned warehouse.  They are both wearing many layers of clothing, and are 
both wearing hats and mittens.  They have amazingly enough gotten the furnace working, and are
in the process of warming themselves up.)

	Tom: "Daddy, when are we going to go home?  I miss mommy."

	Mr. S.: "I told you, Tom, we're not going home for a long time.  We can't.  You have to 
	become stronger.  Only when you're strong enough can we go home."

	Tom: ::Looks up at his father:: "How do I become strong, daddy?  I want to become strong 
	enough really soon so I can see mommy by Christmas."

	Mr. S.: ::Looks at his son:: "That's not going to happen.  You're probably not going to 
	see mommy this Christmas, or next Christmas, for that matter."

	Tom: ::Looks down, with tears in his eyes:: "...Then when will I see mommy again...?"

	Mr. S.: "How old are you?"

	Tom: "I'm 7 years, 1 month, and 23 days old."

	Mr. S.: "Well, you're probably not going to see mommy until you're 20 or 21 years old."

	Tom: ::Looks up quickly, and a single tear runs down his face:: "I'm not gonna see mommy 
	for 13 or 14 years?"

	Mr. S.: ::Frowns:: "Tom, don't cry.  Strong men don't cry.  You want to be a strong man, 
	don't you?"

	Tom: ::Stands up and yells:: "NO!!!  I don't wanna be a strong man!  I wanna see mommy!" 
	::Tom runs away from the startled Mr. Saotome, and disappears around a corner::

::We see Tom running and running and crying and crying until he slips on some ice in the 
middle of a street in a Russian city.  He sits there crying until someone comes along and sees 
him there.::

	Man: "Oh my!  Nick!  Help me get this boy into our house!"

	Nick: "Okay, dad."

::The man and his son carry the almost unconcious Tom into a nearby building and put him by 
the fireplace, which already has a roaring fire going in it.  They remove his cold, damp 
clothes and wrap him in blankets::

	Man: ::Worriedly looking after Tom with his son and wife at his side:: "Oh, I hope he'll 
	be alright.  He looks so lonely, and he's been crying."

	Wife: ::Lovingly putting an arm on her husband's back:: "Shhhh.  Stop worrying.  He'll 
	be fine.  He's been strong enough to stay alive this long, right?  Now that he's inside 
	by a warm fire, he'll be fine."

	Man: ::Looks up at his wife:: "Oh, I hope you're right"

	Nick: "Dad, what are we going to do with him when he wakes up?"

	Man: ::Looking back to Tom:: "I don't know.  I guess we'll ask him some questions about 
	himself."

	Tom: ::Rolls over:: "Mama...I miss you mama..." ::Sits up abruptly and opens his eyes.  
	Those large, teary, frightened eyes pierce to the very heart of the wife when he stares 
	at her:: "Where am I?  Do you know where my mommy is...?" 

::Those horrible, horrified eyes...the amount of pain and suffering etched into them, and into 
every feature of the boy's face, would drive Hitler to tears.  The wife begins to cry and 
buries her face in her husband's chest::

	Nick: ::Staring at the boy with hate in his eyes:: "YOU!  You made mom cry.  No one 
	makes mom cry!  I'll kill you!"

::Nick charges Tom before his father can stop him.  Tom, scared and startled, reacts the only 
way his father had taught him to; with force.  One reflex action is all it took.  One simple 
knifehand.  The boy, Nick, never even saw it coming.  His crushed windpipe slowly suffocated 
him::

	Man: ::Horrified at the sight of his son gasping for air, dying in front of his eyes, 
	breaks down and begins to scream for help::

	Tom: ::Staring from his hand to the boy, from the boy to his hand, finally realizes what 
	happened.:: <What did father teach you?  To kill AND to save.  You can fix this.  You 
	can save him.  Just move past your fear.  Move past the tears.  You can help him, Tom.  
	You can be strong>

::But, the voice went unheard as Tom, with tears streaming down his face grabs his clothes and 
runs.  Flees out the window of the first floor apartment.  Cold and scared and confused, Tom 
runs until he runs in front of an oncoming vehicle, which can't, with all of the ice on the 
ground, stop in time::

-----

(Black)

	Voice: "He'll be alright, he's remarkably strong.  He just needs some time to recover."

	Voice of Mr. S.: "Is there any permanent damage?"

	Voice: "Aside from a scar on his chest, and one on his leg, no."

	Voice of Mr. S.: "Fine.  Please leave me with my son."

	Voice: "Very well."

::Sound of door closing::

	Voice of Mr. S.: "Dammit, Tom, what the hell is wrong with you?  You almost ruined your 
	entire life tonight!  You could've been permanently hurt!  How would you like it if you 
	couldn't practice martial arts anymore?  Do you have any idea how much you'd have hurt 
	ME if you'd been forced to give up martial arts?  You can be so selfish.  Always what 
	happens to YOU, and never what happens to someone else.  You make me sick, and I'm going 
	to run you ragged for the next two months, just for pulling this stunt.  Now you heal so 
	I can start training you again."

::Sound of footsteps, then a door opening, then closing::

	Tom: <...daddy.  I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for making you angry, for hurting, no, killing 
	that Nick boy.  I killed him, even though daddy said not to kill anyone unless I needed 
	to.  I can't let daddy know that I did that.  He'd just be more angry with me.  I can't 
	tell anyone anything...ever.

::END FLASHBACK::

	Tom: "I'm always running.  I ran from dad on that day, and because of that, I destroyed 
	not one, not two, but three lives.  I killed a boy.  And it wasn't the knifehand that 
	killed him.  It was my running.  I could have saved him, but I was scared, and I ran.  
	I ran like the coward I am."

::Tom stands up and looks at the remains of the training bag::

Tom: "I hate feelings.  I thought I killed all of my feelings." 

::Tom walks outside to look at the moon.  Numerous events throughout his life play throughout 
his head.  When he was 8 and he killed that dog in China.  When he was 9 and he saved that 
crying baby from the burning house in Britian.  When he was 13 and he and Dan got caught with 
that playboy.  All these different scenes of different emotions running through his cranium, 
but invoking no outward display of feelings.::

::Wisps of clouds pass in front of the moon, giving it the look of a light behind tissue paper.
In the distance, a dog barks at an unknown intruder.  An owl swoops to nab its prey and 
carries it back to its perch to devour its hard-earned snack.  And Tom Saotome laughs.  
A horrible, bitter, spiteful laugh that echoes from the very depths of his soul::

"I will never feel.  I am strong.  I need no one and nothing.  I am at peace with the world."

<Then why am I crying?>

*****

(Lauren's room)

	Lauren: "I...I...what do I?  Do I feel?  Do I hurt?  Do I...love?  All these questions, 
	but where are the answers?  The questions are meaningless without the answers."

	Voice: "No, the answers are meaningless without the questions."

	Lauren: "Huh?  What are you talking about?"

	Voice: "What are YOU talking about?"

	Lauren: "I'm...talking about my feelings towards my sister, my family, myself, 
	and...someone else"

	Voice: "Someone else?"

	Lauren: "None of your business"

	Voice: "Fine.  Your choice.  But you'll feel better if you tell me all about it."

::Though she would never be able to explain it, she knew that what the voice said was true::

	Lauren: "...Fine.  I'm talking about this...guy.  I'm supposed to get to know him to 
	see if I...love...him enough to...to...to...m-m-m..."

	Voice: "Marry him?  Spend the rest of your life with him?  Give your heart and soul 
	to him?"

	Lauren: "...yes"

	Voice: "Why?  I mean, you met him YESTERDAY.  You don't have to make a decision 
	tomorrow, you know."

	Lauren: "I know, and I don't plan to.  But I am...feeling things I haven't ever felt 
	before.  It's scary.  I don't feel like I'm in control of me anymore."

	Voice: "What kinds of things are you feeling?"

	Lauren: "Well, like when Tom - that's the guy's name, Tom - looks at me, I feel...warm.  
	Not physically warm, but happy warm.  I don't know why, but I do.  And when he touches 
	me, it's..."

	Voice: "Electricity?"

	Lauren: "Yes.  How did you know?"

	Voice: "I went through the same thing you are going through."

	Lauren: "You did?"

	Voice: "Yup.  It's called falling in love."

	Lauren: ::Fear in her voice:: "I can't fall in love!  I don't even know the guy yet!  
	He could be a wife beater, or a herion junkie, or anything for that matter!  I CAN'T 
	love him."

	Voice: "I didn't say you LOVED him, I said you were FALLING in love with him.  As in the 
	process of."

	Lauren: "Yeah, so?  That doesn't change the fact that I may be screwing up my life 
	royally here."

	Voice: "How would you be screwing up your life?  Doesn't he make you feel something that 
	no one else has ever made you feel?"

	Lauren: "Well, yeah, but..."

	Voice: "And can you say, in all honesty, that you hate that feeling?"

	Lauren: "Well no, but..."

	Voice: "Then what harm could come of it?"

	Lauren: "He could..."

	Voice: "Leave you?"

	Lauren: "How do you DO that?"

	Voice: "I'm good.  That's how.  But haven't you ever heard the saying `Don't be afraid 
	of tomorrow, lest you miss today'?

	Lauren: "Yeah, but..."

	Voice: "Wouldn't that apply to this situation?  Isn't that telling you to just wing it?  
	To let go?  To enjoy today for today?  If you do that, you'll live a much happier life.  
	Believe me, I've been in your position before."

	Lauren: "NO!!!  NO YOU HAVEN'T!!!  YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE FOR ME!!!

	Voice: "You lost your mother when you were young.  You are liked by virtually every 
	guy within the tri-county area.  You are basically being forced into marriage.  You are 
	going through a process of discovering feelings that were never there before.  I know 
	exactly how you feel.  I went through the exact same thing.  Every detail, from the dead 
	mother to the forced marriage.  I DO know how you feel, Lauren."

	Lauren: "Wha...how?"

	Voice: "I can't tell you that.  But I can tell you something."

	Lauren: "...What?"

	Voice: "Don't let fear get in the way of your feelings.  Don't let other people dictate 
	your life.  Feel for yourself.  Live life for the pure happiness that life can bring.  
	If you wait, or run, or procrastinate, or anything of the sort, you'll end up losing 
	more than you thought you had."

	Lauren: "How do you know all this?"

	Voice: "When I was where you are now..."

::FLASHBACK::

(Nerima, Japan.)

	Ranma: "Akane, I know I can be kind of a jerk, and a baka, and, well, basically 
	everything you call me, but...I...I..."

	Akane: "Well?"

	Ranma: "Geez!  Will you hold on?  Alright.  Here goes...I-I-I...L...L...LO-LO..."

	Akane: "No.  Ranma, stop.  I know where you're going with this, but...I can't.  I just 
	can't Ranma.  I want to, but...but...what if I'm not a good wife?  What if I'm not a 
	good mother?  What if you...leave me?  What if...Just, there are too many what ifs.  
	I'm sorry, Ranma, but...I can never love you."

::The short-haired Japanese girl, with tears running down her face, walks  off into the night, 
away from her fiancee, who is crying silently::

-----

(Next day)

	Nodoka: ::Ashen face:: "Good morning, Kasumi.  May I come in and speak with everyone in 
	the house, please?"

	Kasumi: ::Puzzled:: "Of course.  Please come in."

::Kasumi calls everyone in the house into the living room, where Nodoka sits, looking 
completely white.  Akane comes in last, looking positively horrible::

	Nodoka: "I know you all are probably wondering what this is about.  Well, this is about 
	my son, Ranma.  He...did something last night.  He got fairly drunk, and he was also 
	fairly depressed, so he...he...he..." ::Before she breaks down, she takes out a single, 
	blood stained dagger and places it on the floor in front of her...:: "...He slit his 
	wrists.  When they found him this morning, he had been dead for a while.  He left a 
	note, but it's only for Akane." ::She takes out an envelope and hands it to Akane, then 
	begins to cry.::

::Amongst strangled sobs from her sisters and father, Akane takes the envelope and, with a 
blank expression, walks up to her room and locks the door.  She goes to her bed, sits down, 
and opens the letter.  She begins to read::

Dear Akane

	I know the circumstances of this letter must suck some major ass, but believe me, 
	
	they're a lot worse for me than they are for you.  I wrote you this letter to tell you 

	the things that I couldn't tell you to your face.  I'm sorry.  Alright, here goes: 

	Akane, I love you.  More than anything in the world.  You already know this, however, 

	as I tried to tell you last night.  What you said to me then...destroyed me.  Now don't go

	getting the idea that you're the reason I killed myself.  That's not it.  In fact, I 
	
	almost didn't kill myself because I would miss your beautiful face.  God, I called you 

	`uncute' all my life, and now that I'm dead, I call you `beautiful'?  I'm such a baka.  

	Anyway, I killed myself because...well, I couldn't take it.  My entire life I'd been

	getting hurt, lied to, cheated on, and it caught up with me.  I...I'd had it with life 

	and all of its depressing suprises.  I didn't want to have to get hurt again.  I know 

	that doesn't make you feel any better, but you're the woman I loved, Akane.  You're the 

	only person I could possibly trust with this information.  Please, tell everyone that I 

	love them, and not to grieve.  I died the way I wanted to.

							Ranma

::She'd been crying for who knows how long, and she continued to cry, just staring at the 
letter, until late in the night.  Her family tried to get her to come out of her room, to eat, 
to talk, to anything.  But, she just sat there and cried.  And when everyone else was asleep, 
and it was very dark outside, she regained what seemed to be the rational part of her mind::

	Akane: <If I> ::Opening door to her room and stepping quietly into the hall:: <kill 
	myself, I won't have to hurt anymore.  I'll get to> ::Silently creeping down the stairs::
	see Ranma again.  Yes, suicide is the only way.  I know what I did to him.  He tries to 
	blind me from the> ::Enters the living room.  The dagger that Nodoka brought over earlier
	is still in the middle of the floor:: <truth, but I know that I killed him.  I loved him,
	and I killed him.  I can't take that.  I can't take that> ::Picks up the Dagger and 
	unsheaths it.  The blood-tarnished blade glints in the moonlight:: <kind of pain.  I'm 
	going to end the pain.  I'm going to> ::Plunges the knife into her heart, and falls to 
	the ground:: <die...by the same...dagger...that I killed my...love...with...>

::And her blood flowed, leaving a lifeless vessel on the floor of the room.  Leaving what used 
to be a vibrant, beautiful young woman.  And the blood ran, like a river, over the knife, 
onto the floor, and over the letter - Ranma's suicide letter - forever blotting out his final 
scrawlings.  The final vestige of one person obliterating that of her love::

::END FLASHBACK::

	Akane: "...So you see, if you run and hide from feelings, from love, you will only end 
	up destroying yourself.  Both emotionally  and physically."

	Lauren: ::Crying:: "Oh, god.  I'm so sorry.  I had no idea."

	Akane: "Sssssshhhhh.  There's no need to apologize.  I did get to see Ranma again.  I 
	can now spend all of eternity with him.  But I can never see my family or my friends 
	again.  So don't think that this was a happy ending.  I'm trying to do my part from 
	keeping other girls like yourself from enduring my same fate.  Now, I'm not saying you 
	have to marry him tomorrow, because you just met the guy.  You do have some merit in 
	fearing what you don't know about him.  But don't exclude him out of that fear.  Make an 
	effort to make the relationship work."

	Lauren: ::Sniffling:: "Thank you.  Thank you so much.  I don't know how I'll ever be 
	able to repay you."

	Akane: "Just live a long, happy life.  That's all the payment I need."

	Lauren: "I will.  Thank you, Akane."

	Akane: "Good night, Lauren."

	Lauren: ::Closing her eyes:: "Good night"

*****

(Thursday, lunch time.  Dan, Bitch and Peter are all eating lunch together)

	Bitch: "So, how'd you get that nasty cut on your forehead?"

	Dan: ::Fingering the stitches in his head:: "Tom.  He got a little carried away the 
	other day in training, and he's a lot faster than I am, so he got me.  He apologized 
	afterwords, though, so I'm not making that big of a deal about it."

	Peter: ::Munching on his sammich:: "If someone gave me 13 stitches in my forehead, I'd 
	make a big deal about it.  I mean, he's a better martial artist than you, right?  So, if 
	you can control your punches and kicks and whatnot, couldn't he do that even better than 
	you?"

	Dan: ::Sipping his drink:: "Yeah, that's what I've been thinking, too.  But, I don't 
	know, something's telling me that Tom's going through some heavy shit right now, so I'm 
	not going to make a ruckus."

	Peter: ::Leans back in his chair:: "Yeah, but still."

	Dan: "Alright, drop it.  I've made up my mind.  That, and Tom's my best friend.  I know 
	he'd never..."

	Samson: ::Walking up to the group and interrupting Dan:: "Excuse me, kind sirs, but art 
	thou speaking of the vile cur, Tom Saotome?"

	Bitch: ::Looks up at Samson and frowns:: "I remember asking you to join the conversation."

	Peter: "No kidding.  You can't just enter into a conversation uninvited, Samson."

	Dan: "Not to mention insult one of my friends."

	Samson: ::Face hardens:: "You shall address me as upperclassman!  Now, this is no time 
	to be telling me about my rude behavior.  This is a crisis!  Now, seeing as you were 
	talking about Saotome, and you, Dan, just called him your friend, then logically, you 
	should also know where he lives, correct?"

	Dan: "Y..."

	Samson: "Good!  Now, tell me where he lives, so I may smite him and free the lovely 
	Lauren Tendo from his curse."

	Dan, Bitch, and Peter: ::Confused:: "What?"

	Samson: "Tell me where he lives, so he may taste the cold steel of my bat!" ::Brandishes 
	his baseball bat::

	Dan: ::Blink blinks:: "...I've gotta go to class bye."

::Dan gets up and quickly exits, while Peter and Bitch are held back by Samson::

	Samson: "Not so fast, my friends.  Let the man go.  You have all the information I 
	require."

	Peter and Bitch: ::Look at each other:: "*Groan*"

*****

(Next lunch.  Tom, Lauren, Jack and Luke are eating. ...Well, Tom and Lauren are eating, while 
Jack and Luke have gone into torpor at the sight of Lauren.  Again.)

	Lauren: "...So, Tom, what'll you be wearing to Homecoming this Saturday?"

	Tom: ::Staring at the table, holding his head in his hands:: "Why?"

	Lauren: ::A bit disturbed:: "Well, I was just wondering so I could get my dress to match 
	your suit."

	Tom: ::Not looking up.  Monotone:: "Not necessary.  You look beautiful no matter what 
	you wear."

	Lauren: ::Blushes a bit, but not really convinced that Tom actually feels that way:: 
	"Still, I'd like to coordinate our formalwear.  And Tom?  Did you really mean that?"

	Tom: "What?"

	Lauren: "When you said that I'd look beautiful no matter what I wore.  Did you really 
	mean that?"

	Tom: "Of course.  I have to go.  Class will start soon." ::Gets up and walks off, not 
	making eye contact with anyone::

	Lauren: "..." ::Looks to Jack and Luke:: "...Hey, guys?  You're Tom's friends, right?  
	So, do you know what's been bothering him?"

	Jack: "..."

	Luke: "..."

	Lauren: "...Guys?"

	Jack: "..."

	Luke: "..."

	Lauren: "...hello...?"

	Jack: "..."

	Luke: ::faints::

	Lauren: ::Annoyed:: "Oh, go jerk off to someone else for once!" ::Gets up and goes to 
	class::

	Jack: "...Yes, ma'am..."

*****

(Tendo Dojo that evening...)

::Doorbell::

	Maren: ::Goes to the door and answers it.  It is Samson:: "Hello, Samson.  Would you 
	like me to go get Lauren?"

	Samson: ::Shakes his head:: "No, but thank you, Maren Tendo.  I am looking for the vile 
	cur Thomas Saotome.  I have been told that he is currently residing here.  Is this true?"

	Maren: ::Smiles:: "Yes.  Are you two friends?"

	Samson: ::Looks disgusted:: "Certianly not!  I have come to smite Saotome and feee L
	auren from his curse."

	Maren: ::Opens her mouth to speak, but then stops.:: "...I'll go get him for you."

	Samson: ::Bows like a samurai:: "Many thanks, Maren Tendo."

::Maren goes off screen and a couple of minutes pass.  Eventually, Lauren comes down the 
stairs::

	Lauren: ::Annoyed to see Samson a second time in the same day:: "What are you doing 
	here?!?  Do I have to get a restraining order?  LEAVE!!!" ::Proceeds to thwack Samson 
	with her mallet of death and he lands across the street::

::Tom walks in scene::

	Tom: ::Looks at Lauren:: "...I was told by Maren that there was a 'Samson' or something 
	of the like here to see me.  Do you know anything about that?"

	Lauren: ::Blushes:: "Um...I kinda smashed him across the street.  Come on, I'll take 
	you to him."

	Tom: "Why did you do that?"

	Lauren: ::Motioning for him to follow her out the door:: "He's always pestering me to 
	go out on a date with him.  He never lets up.  He's the first of the people to hound me 
	mercilessly.  The othes at school just followed his lead.  I...assumed he was here to 
	pester me again."

	Tom: "I see."

	Lauren: ::Goes over to Samson and kneels by him:: "I'm sorry, Samson.  I thought you 
	were here to pester me again.  This is Tom.  Why do you want to see him?"

	Samson: ::Looks up at Tom.  Leaps up and Readies his baseball bat:: "Saotome, prepare to 
	be smited!"

	Tom: ::Freezes:: <He looks...like...>

	Samson: "I, Nicholas Samson will smite thee!"

	Tom: ::Memories of Russia flash through his mind:: <...Nicholas...Nick...He looks 
	exactly...like...> ::A tear runs down his cheek from behind his glasses.  He, slowly at 
	first, then more rapidly, backs away.  More tears follow, and he runs into the sunset.::

	Samson: ::Yells after him:: "COWARD!!!"

	Lauren: Tom...crying...?

*****


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