For some reason this little spamfic leapt out at me. Enjoy or hate, it's up
to you. ^_^
Kenko/Robert Haynie-- Author of Girl Days, Paragon,and Redheads-- and
part-time memetic virus. (Resistance is futile. You will all be assimilated
and funny.)
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Wishes.txt
The Problem with Wishes.
By Robert Haynie
(I don't own Oh My Goddess. And if you read this, you'll
probably decide that's a good thing.)
####
Hiro Kendachi picked up the phone, and dialed. Dreading what
would likely happen.
"Hello, Goddess Help li-"
Click.
(Not again. For WEEKS I can't order ramen or any food or call my
girlfriend or Mom or ANYTHING without... Oh, GOD! The TV IS ON!)
Before Hiro could grab the remote, said TV ejected what most
people would consider an incredibly beautiful woman, but what Hiro
considered the second largest pain in the ass in the known universe.
"Hello, Urd. *sigh*"
"Hey, Hiro! You got another one already?"
"Why do you people do this to me?"
Urd stood and smoothed her skirt (what there was of it) and
grinned. "Well, because you're the nicest guy on earth. Let's
see... saved three lives, helped eighteen old ladies across the
street, removes six cats from trees-- by the way, one of those was
really a girl, and she sent up a special prayer for you-- and that
new treatment for cancer. This week."
"Look, I can't HELP it! I see someone in trouble, and I help!
And I don't see why you can't stop it with the wishes!"
"Hey, YOU'RE the one that keeps earning them."
"And I don't want them! It's not right to accept an award for
doing the right thing, and they just get me in trouble anyway!"
Urd sighed. "Well, I suppose it's not your fault about that.
You KNOW how much you hack off Hell. So they keep trying to mess
with them."
"I would hate Mara if I knew how to hate."
"Sigh... well, can you just get it over with? You know how the
Ultimate Force feels about unused wishes."
Hiro began to think-- carefully.
"And Hiro, you don't HAVE to wish for something helpful to
others. You can try to wish for something for yourself."
"I wouldn't feel right about that..."
"Well, maybe it will break your problem streak. A LITTLE bit of
selfishness might get you off the wishlist, so to speak."
Hiro paused. "Okay. I wish for a date with a beautiful woman."
Urd paused. Lights flared. She nodded. "Granted."
####
Three days later--
"Pops, you got me engaged AGAIN?"
"Hiro's a NICE boy, Ran-- Agh! ARRGGH! OW! THAT DOESN'T BEND
THAT WAY-- OWWW!"
Hiro sighed. "How did it get to this? And you don't have to,
Miss Ranma."
The girl just glared at him while somewhere a demon laughed, and
the gods decided to give another wish to make up for it...