DB wrote:
In my case it was mostly due to lack of time. But this is the standard
pattern. You'll get a lot of basic 'nice concept, let's see where yo go
with this' and not hear from the person again. One of these days I'll write
a little theory as to the why's of this phenomena. :)
$Same here, lack of time has been a pain. I was working my way through
C&Cing all three chapters, but seeings how DB has already done such a nice
job on the first one and I'm still in a hurry, I'll just give you my
impressions on the others and the details on this one.
I think the reason many people go with the 'nice concept, let's see where
you go with this' is because much of the time the fic never makes it past
the 1st or 2nd chapter. When it does go on, the author usually seems to
have a high production rate and those who would have C&Ced are daunted by
the sudden increase in material. And if it's good, we blindly assume the
author knows its good, that we're all reading avidly, and that we'll be
heartbroken if he quits. Of course, to the author, this sounds almost
exactly like dead air.
There's not too much point in C&Cing something that's going to be
abandoned. On the flip side, many fics have been abandoned for lack of C&C.
We'll get it straight one of these days.
I know I've been guilty of dropping a fic on two occasions, one a Ranma fic
(my 1st)I discovered that someone else was in the process of writing the
exact same thing, and another a Nuku Nuku fic I discovered someone else (DB,
actually) had written the exact same thing.
Keep in mind that I've seen neither MoM or RK. With that in mind, I'm
fascinated. Every character, plot twist, and event is brand new to me, but
some things you may be expecting your audience to already know and
understand will pass me by. For instence, why does Yuki and Honou change
into kids? The 'For love of blood.' line makes me think Kenshin is a
vampire, but I've seen no evidence of that. What's going on here?
Anyway, the writing is solid, shows polish, and mistakes are fairly rare in
all of the chapters. Seeings how this is the latest chapter, and v1.0 at
that, I'll concentrate my efforts here.
It was a cool night, a welcome respite from the heat of the
day. Although it was nearing the end of summer, the days were
still as hot as a midsummer's high. A hot day means a person in
$High what?
heat, and when one is looking for action, there are certain districts
in Toukyou to watch out for. On this cool night, the heat of such
$Any specific reason you're spelling it Toukyou?
passionate ventures was given a restraining, or perhaps
encouraging, hand.
Toukyou's yoshiwara district, around the outskirts, was an
ideal place for such pleasure seekers. A cozy sprig of brothels and
pleasure inns along the outskirts of town, bounded by flowing
willow trees, hidden in dense foliage and surrounded by small
bodies of water abounding with reeds, the yoshiwara was the place
to be for the less... upright thrill-seeker. With the cool wind
$Yeesh, I'd suggest breaking that sentance up a bit.
blowing, it served not to diminish, but rather to fan the flames of
passion.
A man got off a ferry and approached the yoshiwara by the
darkness of night. He was middle-aged, notably Japanese but
dressed well in the gaijin fashion as was the rage for the upperclass
in this Meiji era. His clothes were well-ironed and his demeanor
was stiff. Everything about him was sharp, a man who deserved
the respect of society.
He was probably some wealthy merchant, married to some
rich cow, who had far too much money on his hands, and who was
$Extra space.
seeking adventure and a passion no longer to be found in his own
bed. The women of the yoshiwara were, after all, reputed to be
very skilled and eager to please.
As he made his way towards the yoshiwara, the path lit
only by the moon's light and the hazy glow of lanterns in the
brothels and inns, he was certain of his anonymity. Yet as he
moved on, he somehow became aware of a presence about him.
Yet, it did not put him on alert, did not send any warning bells in
his head. It was a soothing presence, a calming presence, a
welcome distraction from the pressures of the day.
The air about him seemed to grow colder, further relaxing
his tensed muscles, further tempting him to find sweet solace in the
arms of a lady of the willows. As he moved on, he began to notice
a soft light emanating from a willow tree to the side. Without
knowing why he knew, he realized that the cool, comforting
presence he had felt would be found by that willow.
Suddenly, spontaneously, as if driven, he skipped off the
$That's a bit of a contradiction. Try removing spontaneously.
path, and into the undergrowth. Pushing past some reeds and
bushes, he came to a small clearing in the willows. What he saw
nearly caused his heart to skip a beat.
Lying in the center of the clearing, clad in blue and white,
was a woman, a most beautiful woman. Her skin was a pure, icy
white, a delicious milky texture which craved for a man's caress.
Her hair was a striking white color, which complimented her
prefect crystal blue eyes. Eyes shimmering in the strange light,
looking straight at him, calling him, seducing him.
"Utsukushii...." he muttered, in true reverence.
He found himself drawn to her, wanting her. His eyes
involuntarily roamed her body, imagining the voluptuous,
sensuous curves hidden beneath her clothes. He was helpless
against her wiles; unable to help his own desires, he focused on
one thing alone, this woman, and what pleasures possibly awaited
him in her arms.
What beauty was this, he wondered, that so captivated me?
Was this a legendary kitsune, the fox wives who were said to
appear in the forests, to lay their claim on a man? He paid no heed
to such thoughts as the lack of a forest in this settled land, or of the
strange manner of their meeting. Like a succubus, she drew him in
effortlessly, mysteriously.
As he reached out to touch her, her eyes suddenly flashed.
"Only one man may touch me, boyu," she said icily.
$Bad pun. No bone for you.
Suddenly, the spell was broken; she suddenly seemed
frigidly cold, and a character appeared on her forehead, basked in a
bluish aura. Yuki. Snow. Suddenly, the man felt a little nervous at
the situation. Before he could speak, she raised her hand and
pointed a finger at him. In a second, he was frozen in ice, mouth
aghast, eyes wide open.
The woman stood up, examining a pouch. A pouch that was
once at the man's belt, now in her hand. "This IS a good place for
business, after all," she said, counting the money within the pouch.
"A lot easier, too. The customers just walk right in, loaded
and ready for the picking!"
She left the clearing, leaving the icicled man to brood over
his near-infidelity.
"Sorry, boyu, but the only man for me is Mosquiton."
$What does Mosquiton mean?
<snip>
"Inaho-sama... is back??!" the woman beamed. "Suzuko,
take these home to your father!" she said, dumping her groceries
on the child as she sped off after the man.
"Ara?" the child whimpered, holding the bag of food.
$Heh heh. Cute.
***
A strange entourage pranced across the streets of the
Asakusa district, a rather impromptu parade gathering about the
streets. Cries of "Inaho-sama" and "We love you" and other such
calls could be heard from the crowd, which was growing bigger by
the minute.
$Just how is she a local celebrity?
At the locus of attention were three very disparate figures.
Bringing up the point was the recepient of all the cries of
adulation, admiration and respect. She strutted across the streets,
head held high, her short crimson hair resplendent in the early
morning sun.
Kamiya Inaho led the forefront, dressed in a fresh pink
$That's a bit awkward, it makes it sound like you're talking about two
different people.
summer yukata. Her short hair was tied back by a small knot,
accenting the sheen, making her look cuter than usual. In one hand
she carried a paper fan embossed with beautiful calligraphy, which
she used to cover her mouth as dust rose from the busy road. Her
golden cross-shaped earring was the only jewelry she wore, yet
somehow she appeared elegant and refined.
"She's grown even more beautiful this past year!" someone
cawed.
$Cawed? What, is he a crow?
"They say hardship beauty can only make beauty
stronger..."
"It's definitely the case with her! Even though her father
died a year back, she's definitely blooming!"
$I'm sure there are endless dirty puns there, but I think I'll pass.
She just basked in the comments, feeling the radiance and
warmth that was her due. Her two other companions, however,
didn't seem to share the enthusiasm.
<snip>
"TEME?!???" Honou swore, eyes in a frenzied glare as he
tried to assault Inaho. Fortunately, Kenshin was there.
"Nah, nah, let's be friends and be on our way. Honou, why
don't you apologize to the poor man, de gozaru yo?" Kenshin said,
%I've noticed lots of japanese words in this. I suppose I could see it
with Kenshin, he speaks an older style and probably wouldn't be easily
understood. I'm not too sure about the rest of them, though. Fewer
japanese words would be nice. And what does de gozaro yo mean?
restraining the fired up boy.
$Bad pun. Stay.
"Oh, what is a poor girl like myself to do, offering to live
with such a vulgar beast? I thought I could change his evil ways,
but... nevertheless, I must do my best..." Inaho whimpered,
feigning distress.
"Oh, she's such a kind girl!" someone muttered from the
crowd.
"Truly, she's an angel sent to us from heaven!"
"That inconsiderate brat, he should be taught a lesson in
manners..."
"Yeah, let's teach him some manners..."
"Oro?" Kenshin and Honou suddenly stopped their
$Does Kenshin really say Oro? that much in the anime?
struggles, seeing the crowd eyeing them. Suddenly, the crowd
turned into a mob.
"OROOO!!!!" came the shrieks of the two Rekai-born as
the mob proceeded to give them a `lesson in manners.'
$Kenshin hadn't done anything. Why him?
"Oh, deary me, look at the time!" Inaho said in mock
surprise. "We must be getting on to the doujou now." She looked
down at the mob's handiwork. Both Kenshin and Honou were
stomped into the ground.
"We'll be... right... there... in a moment... Inaho-dono... de
gozaru yo...."
***
The gates of the Kamiya doujou were open, for the day's
$Kamiya? What, do they sell used deities?
kendou classes had already begun. As the threesome entered the
grounds, they could hear synchronized shouts and clashes of wood
against wood from within the doujou. Business was good, it
seemed.
"Maa, it seems they are quite busy in the doujou," Kenshin
remarked as he steered a grumbling Honou to where they were
walking.
"Of course!" Inaho bragged. "The Kamiya doujou is the
finest place to learn sword techniques in Toukyou! I get customers
from the best families, who become such well-known swordsmen
that the fame of my doujou just keeps growing, attracting even
more rich students! All this means I get to rake in a lot of money!
OHOOHOHOHOOO!!" Being within the confines of her estate,
away from her admirers, she apparently saw no reason to continue
the demure Inaho act.
"Hey, I thought you were pretty bad with the sword,"
Honou remarked, causing a vein to pop in Inaho's forehead. "And
$Anurism. Pop out would be better, I think.
besides that, you've been with us all this time. Who's training your
students?"
"That, my little Yahiko, is someone whom you should
meet." Inaho said smugly. "Maybe you could learn a thing or two
about being a gentleman."
"Bah, who'd want to be a gentleman?" Honou sneered.
"Why, Mo-chan seems to enjoy being a gentleman, don't
you, Mo-chan?" Inaho smiled, glomping onto Kenshin's arm.
"Ara..." Kenshin said uncertainly, not entirely comfortable
with Inaho's position.
The three made their way into the doujou.
Within the great walls of the training hall, a mass of
students were gathered. Each one was dressed in the traditional
white combat gi and dark hakama of Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu. In
unison, they raised their shinai and went through their drills, at the
$drills at
mark of one man who was strolling astride the students.
"Jun-kun!" Inaho called out.
At her voice, the man stopped his ministrations, and looked
to the doorway. All he needed to see was the red hair. "Class,
continue with your drills!" he shouted.
"Inaho! You're back! Okaeri!" Jun called back, running
over to her. His eyes narrowed suddenly, seeing the others she was
with, particularly Kenshin, upon whom she was currently attached.
Misumaru Jun was a slight man. His build was light,
evident at the way his gi clung to his frame. Slender arms with
delicate hands held a bokken for instructing the students. Fine,
short brown hair topped a smooth, delicate face. He didn't look the
type to be a kendou trainer at all. His large blue eyes, studied the
$eyes studied
party of three before him.
"Inaho, I'm so glad you're back safe and well," he said.
"And to you, Jun-kun!" Inaho said sweetly, perhaps for the
benefit of the class. "Jun-kun, these are my two companions. This
little child is Yahiko-chan, and this gentleman over here is Mo-
chan. Boys, meet Misumaru Jun."
"It is good to meet you, de gozaru," Kenshin offered with a
slight bow, as Honou stared daggers at Inaho. He HATED being
called `chan!'
"Ah, hello, Kenshin-san," he said, betraying his interest as
$She didn't introduce him as Kenshin, how did Jun know?
he locked his large blue eyes with Kenshin's clear lavender ones.
To Inaho, he whispered, "Is he...?"
"Yes, my mission was a success! This is the Battousai!"
Inaho replied.
A hush suddenly fell over the doujou.
Inaho suddenly realized that she shouldn't have said that
out too loudly.
"That little runt is *the* Battousai?" someone muttered.
"No way! He's a two hundred year old demon?"
"He's scary!"
"Knock it off, there's no way that pipsqueak could be the
Battousai..."
Kenshin was beginning to feel a little hot under the collar.
He stepped up to the class, meekly remonstrating his identity.
"Nah, nah, Sessha wa..." he began, but as soon as he did,
$sessha
the crowd once again began to buzz.
"He speaks with a strange dialect!"
"No doubt, he must be really old to know that one!"
"I wonder if he can fight?"
"Of course, he can, moron! He's the Battousai..."
"But if that's so, he must be two hundred years old! He
must be slow as hell by now!"
"Ahou! Don't you know? His style, Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu,
can stop aging!"
"SILENCE IN THE DOUJOU!" Jun suddenly called. All
of a sudden, a hush once again fell over the students. Although he
didn't look it, Jun apparently had the ability to control this class, to
an extent.
"Excuse me, sensei!" a student raised his hand.
"Yes, what is it?" Jun asked.
"If he's really the Battousai, he should be able to fight, no?
Why don't you have a match?" the student continued.
"Huh?" Jun and Kenshin both said in unison.
"Yeah, sensei! You should show the true power of Kamiya
Kasshin Ryuu!"
Inaho tugged Jun to the side and whispered in his ear, "Do
it, Jun-kun! This is our chance to really impress the students! A
satisfied customer is a paying customer!"
"Shikashi, Inaho, the Kasshin Ryuu isn't for..."
"Do it!" She hissed, almost a little too strongly.
"H-hai..." Jun acceded.
Jun went off to face the Kenshin. "Well, how about it,
Battousai? Will you accept the challenge of Kamiya Kasshin
Ryuu?"
"Uh... demo, this humble servant doesn't want to fight..."
Kenshin floundered, waving his hands in submission.
$What, does that mean he pulled out a sakana rather than a sakaba? ^_^
"Oh yes you do," Inaho gave him a push on his rump,
sending him hurtling towards Jun.
As Kenshin tried to reverse his momentum, Jun saw the
opening, that space between seconds when an opponent left
himself vulnerable during his attack, the space which all students
of Kasshin Ryuu were trained to find.
Jun struck, flashing his bokken towards the apparently
hapless Kenshin.
To his surprise, his simple strike didn't connect.
*When did he... such speed!* Jun thought, looking back at
Kenshin, who was now standing in front of him.
"Ano, sumimasen, but sessha really doesn't want to
fight..." Kenshin said, rubbing his hand sheepishly behind his head.
The class laughed at his whining antics.
"Shut up! Draw your sword, and face me!" Jun challenged,
raising his bokken above his head in Kasshin Ryuu's ready stance.
"But attacking you isn't really necessary..." Kenshin began,
but Jun cut him off.
"Enough! If you won't attack, then I will. Kamiya Kasshin
Ryuu also teaches pre-emptive defense, to prevent the opponent
from causing harm. Have at you!"
"Oro!!!" Kenshin cried, bobbing and weaving from Jun's
consecutive attacks.
*What the...* Jun thought, placing strike after well-aimed
strike. *He seems to be wide-open at one moment, then suddenly
he's gone, being somewhere else outside my range of attacks. How
is he avoiding my strikes so easily? Kono shito wa... this person...
is skilled!*
As Jun pulled back to regain his stance, Kenshin did
likewise, now standing motionless before Jun. Both were suddenly
engrossed in their ma-ai, waiting for the opponent to show his next
move.
Kenshin's attention wavered for a moment, shifting to what
he felt was a strong kenki behind him. As his attention wandered,
his eyes suddenly came into contact with Inaho's. She was boiling
mad!
*What a scary kenki!* Kenshin thought, looking into those
eyes.
*STOP MAKING MY STYLE LOOK BAD, MO-
CHAN!!!* Those eyes seemed to say, screaming at him. As if on
$Formatting problem.
cue, Kenshin's eyes suddenly widened, almost overpowered by
Inaho's aura.
Jun saw the opening. His bokken flashed.
"ORO!!!" Kenshin fell to the ground, a huge bump on his
head.
"Yatta!" the students cried out. "The Battousai was no
match for our sensei!"
"You're the best, sensei!"
"You showed him who's boss!"
"I love you, sensei!"
$Heh heh.
"When I grow up, I want to be just like Jun-sensei..."
"SILENCE!" Jun reiterated, lowering his bokken.
His hands were sweating, his eyes still focused, replaying
the short `duel' they just had. That was an incredible fighting
technique; he'd never seen anything quite like it. It was as if... the
Battousai could anticipate his attacks. Definitely not a technique to
force yourself to attack with, but Inaho had called for him to push
the attack, so he had to do it for Inaho's sake. But if it were a
serious battle, he knew that such imprudence might cost him his
life. If he were to fight this man, this `Mo-chan,' he would have to
use all the might of Kasshin Ryuu, and Kasshin Ryuu was no good
when it came to offense.
<snip>
***
"So Jun was the best student of your father?" Kenshin
called from the back, into the window, as he stoked more wood
into the pile underneath the room.
"Yep!" Inaho replied from the other side of the wall, where
she was enjoying a nice warm bath. "He was my childhood friend,
but he was so good with the style that my father trusted him
completely. When my father died, I decided to let him teach the
Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu in the doujou. After all, I'm a lot better at
the other school of Kasshin Ryuu..."
"Ah, you mean the Hitomebore style of Kasshin Ryuu?"
Kenshin said.
$What's the difference? I don't really know what the deal is here.
"Uh huh."
"So how's the bath, Inaho-dono?" Kenshin called over
again, trying to get more heat into Inaho's bath.
"It a little clammy, Mo-chan! Could you turn up the heat a
bit?"
"Aa, de gozaru yo!" Kenshin replied.
"Honou!" Kenshin turned to his sidekick..
$Should probably combine those.
"Hai, hai..." Honou replied, a bit bored. Turning to the pile,
he lazily blew a small gout of flame, igniting the wood further.
"Mo-chan, it's still too cold! Could you turn the heat up?"
$It usually takes a bit to heat mass quantities of water.
"Ah, suman, de gozaru!" Kenshin turned back to Honou.
"Honou?"
Honou's face sprouted a vein, which suddenly faded as a
malicious gleam entered his eye.
"Uh, Honou..." Kenshin began, suddenly a bit fearful at the
glint in his sidekick's eye.
"Heehhehe..." Honou laughed, the kanji on his forehead
flaring a bit. Suddenly, he sprayed a huge gout of fire into the pile,
igniting the wood and scorching the bottom of the bathhouse none
too lightly.
"EEEEEYAAAA!!!" came the scream from the bathhouse.
"Ano..." Kenshin began, seeing Honou's content smile.
"No time for me now, boss. Look behind you," Honou said,
suddenly scuttling away for cover behind the house.
A stamping of feet could be heard, and Kenshin turned
around to find a very red-faced, angry Inaho, still dripping from
the bath, a towel wrapped around her body and her head. Kenshin
could tell that her face wasn't red just because of the heat.
"Ah, hehehhe...." Kenshin smiled meekly.
"MO-CHAN NO BAKA!!!!"
$Heh heh. Nice.
***
The morning classes were over, and Misumaru Jun, the
only remaining master of Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu, retired back to
the house. Having been Inaho's childhood friend and the favorite
of her late father, Jun had been entrusted the care of the house and
doujou when Inaho had left, about a year ago, following her
father's untimely demise.
Almost on reflex, Jun headed for the kitchen. He recalled
how he would often cook up a meal for Inaho after their training
sessions. In fact, Inaho's father often let him do the daily meals as
well, seeing as to how unskilled his daughter was at cooking.
//"ITAI!!!" Inaho screamed, snatching her hand away from
the boiling-hot metal, her fingers scalded a bright red.
"Baka! That's not how you're supposed to do it!" Jun
quickly turned off the fire, preventing any further damage to the
meal.
$Ah, if they use gas for the kitchen stove, why not for the furo? Hauling
firewood is a pain in the ass.
"It hurts," Inaho whimpered.
"Here let me see that," Jun said gently, taking her hand. He
examined her hand, noting that there were only superficial burns,
mostly scalding by hot water. Nothing serious.
"You baby, you just got your hand a little heated. Here,
let's wash it with a little water and it'll be fine."
"Honto?"
$Really would be just as appropriate here.
"Yeah, it's not serious," Jun said, a bit seriously. He took
her hand and washed it carefully in the water, taking care not to
aggravate her.
*Inaho really was a klutz at cooking,* Jun thought. *It's a
good thing I'm here to cook for her.* As Jun approached the
kitchen, he could hear the sounds of a person humming.
"Nye nye nye nye nye nye nye..."
*Huh?* Jun wondered. What's that awful racket?
$I'll second that. What's he supposed to be humming?
He stepped into the kitchen, and saw Kenshin busily
preparing some sushi, humming that off-key tune merrily while
rolling the rice with the tatami.
*GAH! What's he doing here?! How dare he defile the
sanctity of my kitchen!*
"Ah, it's you, Jun-dono," Kenshin smiled. "Would you like
some makizushi?" He handed some rolls he had finished already.
"Huh?" Jun took the proferred rice cake and gobbled it.
*OOH! Pretty good... DOH!* Jun suddenly caught himself,
staring back at Kenshin with daggers in his eyes.
*Kenshin von Mosquiton...* the name left a bitter taste in
his mind's eye. *GRRR....*
$In his mind's eye? Taste?
***
After taking a quick bath, Jun suddenly recalled how he
would often wash their used clothes. Inaho's father always prided
him for his stark, clean white shirts. Toweling his hair dry, he
headed for the back where the laundry was done.
As he came out, he heard a strange noise.
"Nye nye nye nye nye nye nye..."
Jun rushed out, to see his worst fear confirmed.
"Oh, Jun-kun. Moushiro!" Kenshin said happily, soap suds
on his tinted glasses, as he held up a clean white gi for Jun to see.
"Uh... moushiro..." Jun replied as he turned away.
*Kenshin von Mosquiton...* the name left a sour taste in
his mind's eye. *GRRR....*
***
Feeling a little restless, Jun ran into Honou, who suddenly
ran past, leaving muddy footprints on the floor. Not soon
afterwards, a fuming Inaho ran past, calling bloody murder, the
$screaming bloody murder
source of her ire apparently the mud that was splattered over her
face and top. They disappeared from him in seconds.
Jun's gaze fell to the floor where Honou had tread.
"Ah! I can clean the house up for Inaho," he said to
himself, picking up a nearby mop. Finishing with one area, he
followed the trail out to the next room...
"Nye nye nye nye nye nye nye..."
Jun turned around before he got any closer, the shaft of the
mop breaking in his tightly clenched hands. The veins on his head
were sprouting all over!
*Kenshin von Mosquiton...* the name left a rancid taste in
his mind's eye. *GRRR....*
$Well, they say that tastes change over time...
***
The smells of dinner wafted through the house, filling
everyone's nostrils with a mouth-watering scent. Jun entered into
the dining room, headed for his seat. Everyone else was already
there.
Honou was stuffing mouth at an incredible rate, while
Inaho was settled beside Kenshin. Jun settled into his seat.
"Ah, Jun-kun, you finally got hungry?" Inaho said. "Mo-
chan, would you pass him some of the pork cutlet?"
"Aa, here you go, Jun-dono," Kenshin smiled as he passed
some of the tonkatsu to the kendou master.
Jun's eyes locked with Kenshin's for a moment as they
exchanged the platter, and for that moment sparks seemed to fly in
the air.
$I thought that Kenshin was clueless?
"Thank you, Battousai-dono," Jun said in an overly polite
voice as he took the dish. Jun got some for his bowl, then scooped
a cursory morsel into his mouth.
"Mmm, this IS good..." he muttered absently.
"Of course!" Inaho smiled. Turning to Kenshin, she picked
a particularly tasty looking piece and held it up to him.
"Here, Mo-chan, try some. It really tastes good!"
"Sessha knows," Kenshin said, accepting the juicy morsel.
"Sessha cooked it himself, after all." ^_^x
$^_^x?
"You're such a good cook, Mo-chan!" Inaho said,
snuggling into his shoulder.
"Ano..." Kenshin protested, a bit embarassed.
A rice bowl plopped heavily on the floor. Inaho, Kenshin
and even Honou stopped to see Jun stiffly immobile on his seat, his
hands exerting pressure on the hard wooden surface, an overly
huge smile on his face.
"The food really is good, Kenshin-san," he said through
clenched teeth. "It's a good thing our household is blessed with
you to cook for it."
"Ah, it's nothing, de gozaru," Kenshin said bashfully,
rubbing the back of his head with one hand, oblivious to the thin
veneer of indignation flowing off the kendou master.
Suddenly, Kenshin stiffened, his eyes focusing a bit.
"Huh? What is it, Mo-chan?" Inaho asked, surprised at his
sudden change of attitude.
"A very cheerful, outgoing presence," Kenshin muttered,
his eyes going to the side doors leading out to the porch. All of a
$of a
sudden, the door slid open, and a woman came in.
Honou dropped his rice bowl as she entered. Her long,
crystalline hair fell past her shoulders, accentuating her pure, icy
white skin. Her clothes, of a strange cut, were diaphanous and
revealing, showing off her well-endowed body. Her crystal blue
eyes focused on each one of them in turn, ligering for a while on
Kenshin, then focusing on Honou.
"Hisashiburida ne, Honou-chan," she winked at him.
"Uh, yeah. Long time no see, Yuki," he replied. Then
without further ado, he stuffed his mouth with more rice, the
surprise of the moment having left him.
"Mosquiton!" Yuki cried, glomping onto Kenshin's other
arm.
"Yu-Yuki-dono, what are you doing here?!" Kenshin
yelped, still in a state of shock. Yuki conveniently ignored him,
rubbing up on his left side.
"Mo-chan, who is this woman?!?" Inaho demanded,
strangling Kenshin on the other side.
$Gee, this is kind of like Ranma 1/2.
"Why, who's this little girl?" Yuki asked in a sultry voice,
detaching herself from Kenshin and looking Inaho over.
"LITTLE??!? What part of me is LITTLE?!?" Inaho
menaced, glaring at the newcomer.
"I didn't know you went for the perky type these days,
Mosquiton," Yuki said, haughtily sizing up the mistress of the
house.
"Why, you..." Inaho fumed, her face reddening. "Who are
you anyway, to come into MY house and traipse around like you
own the place?"
Jun nodded, temporarily absorbed in his meditations on this
incident.
"I had heard the Battousai was in here from some boys who
went to the Yoshiwara district. Hasn't Mosquiton told you about
me?" Yuki teased, once again dropping to Kenshin's side, taking
his arm and caressing his hand. The look on Kenshin's face was...
well... indescribable. "Why don't you tell them, Mosquiton?"
"Ano, that is... well..." Kenshin stuttered.
"Well?!?" Jun and Inaho glared at him.
"Don't you know?" Yuki said with a sly smile. "I am
Mosquiton's mistress."
Jun's jaw dropped to the ground as Inaho's head suddenly
sprouted a forest of veins. Honou finished his rice and was getting
some of the pickled veggies.
$I think vegetables would be better here.
"How long has this been going on, Mo-chan!?" Inaho
fumed, whacking Kenshin on the head repeatedly.
"Oro..."
"My, what a violent girl she is," Yuki observed.
"It's like this day in and day out," Honou said through
mouthfuls of pickled daikon and rice.
"I won't stand for it!!!" Jun exploded, suddenly getting up.
The sudden force of his anger and aura was enough to stun
everyone into looking at him. Even Honou, busily wolfing down
his tenth bowl of rice, was forced to stop.
"Hitting on Inaho and having mistresses on the side! What
kind of Battousai are you?!" he ranted.
"But, it's not like that..." Kenshin began. He did have a
point; it was Inaho who was doing the hitting on him. But before
Kenshin could say anything else, Jun continued with his rant.
"You're supposed to be her servant! Bound by the essence
of earth, it is your duty to help her in her goals! To think she spent
an entire year questing through strange lands, suffering untold
horrors, for what?! An over-domesticated, overly-amorous,
adulterous little houseboy!!!"
$Really, one ! will do.
Jun stormed out of the room in a rage.
"What's eating him?" Honou wondered, eating his rice.
"What's eating him?!? Do you even have to ask??!!!"
Inaho rattled, taking over Jun's wrath.
"Ano, maybe Inaho-dono should talk to Jun-dono, he
looked quite upset," Kenshin said.
"Be quiet, Mo-chan," Inaho commanded.
"Hai, hai!" Kenshin meekly shrunk into his seat.
"Jun has his tantrums every now and then, even when we
were little. He'll be fine," Inaho said tartly. She turned to Yuki.
"We have to talk, you bimbo!" Without further ceremony, she took
Yuki's hand and dragged her out through another exit.
Honou just finished eating the rest of the rice. "Hey, boss,
isn't there any food left? I'm still hungry."
Kenshin looked at Honou, who in the commotion had
apparently eaten everyone else's share. The room was a mess with
the cluttered rice bowls and empty dish plates.
"Sumanai, Honou," Kenshin said apologetically, "This is
all the food I prepared. I have to clean up now." Without further
ado, Kenshin went about stacking the dishes and cleaning the floor,
and got ready to head for the kitchen.
$I think I like Kenshin.
"Ah, well, not so bad. I think I could get to like this place,"
Honou said, getting up lazily and going out of the room.
***
The moon was full tonight, and it cast its powerful, clear
light into the garden of the Kamiya grounds. Inaho and Yuki were
in the middle of the garden, the moonlight lending a surreal aspect
to their confrontation.
"Just who are you, anyway!?" Inaho rankled, finally
stopping to face her unwanted guest.
"My name is Yuki. I am a servant of Mosquiton."
"And just HOW do you SERVE him, huh?"
$With a light duck sauce, broiled in his own juices. We also have a
variety of side dishes, should the Missus do desire.
"I don't see any reason why I should explain to you of
my... liaisons with Mosquiton," she was toying with her words,
and apparently she was getting the reaction she wanted. Inaho was
fuming now.
"I would have you know that I am the Master of the
Battousai!!!" Inaho screamed. "So any servant of the Battousai is
my servant! ATASHI NO!!!"
"Oh?" Yuki said, nonplussed for a moment by the
revelation. But she quickly recovered her composure. "I could
have guessed that from the start. There's no way Mosquiton would
hang around you otherwise if you didn't seal him with the Blood
Pact."
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?" Inaho exploded, her head
growing to gigantic proportions.
$Ah, looks like a Soun impersonation.
"Just what I did. I don't think a perky little girl like you has
the right to talk down to me."
"I don't see how a slut who hangs around the yoshiwara
has the right to tell me anything!" Inaho retorted.
"Oh, all right," Yuki acceded. "But I think you should calm
yourself down first."
"I *AM* CALM!!!!" Inaho shrieked.
Yuki simply sighed. "Very well, I think I owe you a little
explanation. I think you misunderstand my relationship with
Mosquiton..." she said.
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Inaho demanded.
Yuki didn't respond. A soft glow encompassed her, and
Inaho, for the second time that week, was stunned speechless.
***
Jun slashed through the shining floor with his mop.
Although it was already sparkling, squeaky clean, Jun scrubbed
and scrubbed heavily, taking his frustration out on the floor.
"Stupid... rice-faced... playboy..." he muttered as he
swabbed.
Honou wandered into the room, cleaning his ear with his
finger. At his entrance, Jun suddenly stopped his moping, and
regarded the youth with a curious eye. "You there, boy, I need to
speak with you."
"Huh?" Honou said stupidly, retracting the finger from his
ear and using it to point at himself. "Me?"
"Yes, you. You're with that Battousai, right?"
"Well, yeah..."
"I need some answers. I noticed that you knew that woman
who came in, right?"
"Huh? You mean Yuki?"
"Yes, that's right. I need the low-down on her. Who is she,
anyway?"
"Oh," Honou said, his eyes gleaming, a mischievous grin
appearing on his face. "So, you want to get to know her better,
don't you? Heheheh..."
"That's not what I meant, you pervert!" Jun said, smashing
the mop on Honou's head.
"ITEE!!! That hurt, you retard!" Honou growled.
"You deserved it. Anyway, what's the story on that Yuki-
woman?"
"Fine, I'll tell you. Yuki is my partner."
"Your... partner?" Jun stopped, nonplussed.
{In his head, the image of the tall, foxy Yuki and this small
child Honou appeared. They embraced, Honou's height not quite
matching hers, so his face was engulfed in her supple breasts. They
broke.
"Honou, I love you," she said.
"And I, you," was the reply.
They fell to the ground, Honou all over her.
"Oh, Honou!"
"Yuki!"}
"Not like that, you hentai!" Honou snarled, whapping his
head hard with his fist. "Now who's the pervert??!"
$Why'd Honou hit himself? I think you ment he hit Jun's head hard.
"You little punk!" Jun began was about to strangle the
youth, but he remembered himself. "Uh, now, about that woman..."
"Hmph," Honou muttered. "I meant she's my partner as
Kenshin's sidekicks. We owe Kenshin a lot, so we're sworn to
serve him."
"Service in what way?" Jun wondered, his mind going into
imagination mode again. Strange images began to pop into his
mind....
"Will you cut that out, you moron!" Honou snapped.
"Oh, pardon me," Jun said absently. "But how did the
Battousai end up with a little child and a beautiful young woman as
servants?"
"Hey, don't underestimate us. You don't know us." Honou
growled, suddenly a bit peeved.
"What do you mean?"
"I'd show you, but there's no real reason to do so," the
youth replied. "You'll have to wait instead when you see Yuki
again. Then maybe you'll understand."
***
Inaho was transfixed at the small girl who now appeared
before her. Her clothing, much the same, fit her in a cute, snug
fashion. Her skin, still that smooth, icy color, as were her eyes, but
her stark white hair had now turned a dark black shade, braded
elegantly behind her head.
"You... you're just like that punk fire kid..."
"Now do you understand, Inaho-mama?"
"Don't call me that!" Inaho raved, but something occurred
to her. "So then... that means... Mo-chan is a pedophile?"
"Chigau yo!" Yuki shouted in a cute, childish voice.
"Well, since that's not it, then why...?"
"It was a long time ago..." Yuki began.
//The air was filled with smoke, the night sky a hazy red
hue as the fires kept lapping up the walls. Edo palace was burning.
The fall of the Tokugawa dynasty had not been far off. The shishi
had torched the castle, shouting their battlecry, sonnou joi.
The ground was littered with the corpses of the defenders.
They had given their lives, striving to maintain the integrity of the
palace, but it was to no avail. They had fought a losing battle from
the start, and the revolutionary forces were already planning their
vicory celebration.
Many of the corpses where simply palace guards and other
common soldiers, but some wore strange uniforms as well. A kind
of blue and white pattern, with a strange cut. Some kind of ninja
outfit, probably.
$So? What's the deal?
As the walls fell and the attackers rounded up their forces
to leave, a small girl walked across the torn battlefield. She was
dressed in the queer uniform, although it tattered and slightly
charred. Her hair was dishevelled, somewhat singed from the heat.
Soot covered her face, but they could not blot out her clear, icy
blue eyes. Eyes that were wide-eyed, staring listlessly in front of
her, as if trying to ignore the carnage.
After a while, however, she crumpled to the ground, a
miserable wretch, her eyes watering from the heat and from the
tears that threatened to break free.
"Maa, it's alright, de gozaru," a gentle voice said from
behind her.
Startled, she darted forward, stumbling a bit, scratching her
knee as she went along. She stared up to see a shishi warrior
towering over her, a sword at his belt, his red hair ruffling in the
hot wind, like the flames that had destroyed her home.
She jumped back, afraid, raising her arms in defense, a soft
blue girl emanating from her. A character appeared on her
$Soft blue girl?
forehead, yuki, the symbol of her power. With a small cry, she
shouted, and a small sliver of ice, a kouri kunai, darted from her
hand, to strike the shishi.
It struck, but he didn't seem to mind. Before she could do
anything, he was in front of her, beside her, keeping her in a tight
embrace.
"It's alright, little one," he whispered, a little blood seeping
from his shoulder where her kunai had struck him. "You can cry if
you want, there's nothing wrong with that."
She had been trained not to cry, trained to fight, even at her
tender little age. The kunai she had sent was powerful enough to
kill a man. Realizing that she had hurt this man, this kind man who
was now hugging her like her father once did, made her feel a
strange pang in her chest.
Before she knew it, she began to cry.
"It's alright, little one," he said, stroking her hair gently as
she cried into his chest. "You don't have to be scared anymore."
"What�s your name?" the man asked after a while.
"Misao," she replied between sobs.
"Alright, Misao, from now on, I�ll be here to protect you."//
"I've been with my Kenshin-sama ever since," Yuki said.
"Ever since?" Inaho asked tentatively, a little off-balance at
the story she had just been told. In truth, she was a little jealous of
this child... no, this woman.... who had shared such an intimate
moment with her Mo-chan.
"Well, not ever since, but for the most part. We tend to get
scattered around when Kenshin-sama turns to ashes..."
$Oh, yeah, why does he do that?
"Ah, I see..." Inaho mused.
***
"Whatever," Jun snapped, turning away from Honou. "I
really don't care about you people. You're all weird! And speaking
with you isn't exactly helping."
"Hmph," Honou sneered. "I try to do you a favor and that's
how you treat me." Huffing, he exited the room, leaving Jun to his
mopping.
"Kenshin von Mosquiton..." Jun rankled. "In just this one
day of your arrival, you've turned this doujou completely upside-
down. I..." His thoughts moved to random violence, of sadistic
fantasies involving Kenshin and his bokken. Almost immediately,
he pushed such thoughts aside, realizing the futility of fighting the
Battousai. *Besides, Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu is a defensive style,
not an attack method. It was never meant for revenge.*
His thoughs whirled as he continued mopping the already
shining floor. He needed an escape, a distraction from this problem
that had come around him. Kenshin... the Battousai, who had
outdone him in fighting, in cooking, in cleaning, and even at
Inaho's affections. As he continued in the swirling pattern of his
mopping, which echoed the turmoil in his mind, he realized that he
had but one path before him.
That realization dawned on him as the night wore on.
$Hmm, maybe: He continued in the swirling pattern of mopping, echoing the
turmoil in his mind. As the night wore on, he realized that he had but one
path before him.
***
The morning sun dawned on the Kamiya doujou, as a flight
of birds took off from their nests. The first day of Inaho's return to
her home had passed with surprisingly less incident than was
anticipated.
Inaho emerged from the water, drying herself off with the
towel Kenshin had left neatly folded by the bath. As she finished,
took note of the clothes her Mo-chan had laid out for her, perfectly
pressed, a cool blue dress perfect for today's weather.
As she dressed up, the scent of this morning's breakfast
greeted her from the kitchen, and she wondered what Mo-chan had
cooked up for today. Since she woke up late, she had told Mo-chan
the night before to keep her breakfast ready after they had theirs.
As she stepped into the hall, Honou suddenly ran up to her, Yuki in
tow.
"Inaho-mama, there's an emergency at the doujou! You
should come quick!" he rasped.
"Huh? The doujou? What does that have to do with me?"
Inaho replied. "That's Jun-kun's area. If he still can't handle it, call
Mo-chan to do it."
"That's the problem!" Yuki explained. "Kenshin-sama is
already there! You have to come, quick!"
"What? Oh, alright," Inaho consented, letting herself be led
out by the two.
As she entered the doujou, she took a moment to see what
was wrong. All the regular students were already there, all of them
were gathered around Kenshin, who was doing some tricks with
his mop. Apparently, he had cleaning the floor up until the students
arrived. So that meant...
"Ah, Inaho-dono, it's good that you're here!" Kenshin
called.
"Mo-chan... but where is Jun-kun?"
"That's the problem, Inaho-mama," Honou explained.
All the other students looked to her, somewhat expectantly.
"Sensei hasn't shown up," they told her.
"And we couldn't find him anywhere!" Honou and Yuki
exclaimed.
"He wasn't around for the breakfast sessha made," added
Kenshin.
*What? He's not around?* Inaho's mind snapped
immediately to attention.
//"Ano, maybe Inaho-dono should talk to Jun-dono, he
looked quite upset," Kenshin said.
"Jun has his tantrums every now and then, even when we
were little. He'll be fine," Inaho said tartly.//
*Did he, did he really?* Inaho thought. *This has never
happened before. He'd get upset at times before, but he never...
What happened? Did he... did I....*
"Jun-kun," she whispered.
***
In the streets of the Asakusa district, already beginning to
fill with people and the bustle of the morning, Jun walked, alone.
On his back was his bokken. As he passed along, some people
greeted him, asking how the doujou was.
"Oh, it's fine," he replied with a smile.
But the smile was forced, and the cheery look on his face
was but a front. Inside, his head was in turmoil. How did this
happen? Their lives had been fine up to then. Then suddenly, HE
had to show up... There was no point in his staying, now.
"Sayonara, Inaho," he whispered, not looking back.
***
Jikai, Master Battousai de gozaru!
A departure, clean and cold. Heroic thoughts are for dead
men. Yet the call of virtue cannot be ignored. A sword severs
a new age, to destruction. Time heals all wounds. Rejection,
despair, torment. A cheerful of less goodbyes.
$Wow, that almost sounded like it had a meaning.
iv. Reunion
Minna wa, issho ni yomite de gozaru yo!
$Huh?
Yoshi! I finally finished part 3. I'd like to
take this opportunity to thank Jan and Serizawa,
who gave me some useful tidbits to use in the fic.
I'd also like to thank Chibi-Kitsune, who was such
a harsh slavemaster to drive me into finishing this. ^_^
Hmm, some others I should thank, like the people
who kept me company with their long e-mails while
I was stuck trying to write the next part. You
know who you are (gosh, so many!), but off the top
of my head I remember Doc Meg, Ashfae, and Selenity.
$Heh heh. Did they slow you down?
Hmm, well to tell you the truth, I actually didn't
finish it yet; this thing came out longer than I
thought so I had to split it at that point. I am
still working on the next part, which will be
(obviously) part 4. Because I had to do that, my
fic outline got screwed a bit, but that's all right.
The only real problem is that the bullshit "next
episode" stuff I put in the end and the title don't
make much sense anymore, but then again, they really
don't make much sense anyway, ne?
$Very true.
This chapter was a bit hard for me to write, so
you can understand why it took so long. There were
a lot of tricky scenes. When I envisioned this part,
I wasn't planning on using Jun so much, but I realized
that I had to or else it wouldn't make sense. So I had
to revise my outline a bit (again). Okay, I think the
way I did it makes more sense, but it caused me a few
problems, not to mention blew up the size of the fic.
So, I had to chop this into a "two-episode" segment.
The good news is, I'll be done introducing the
characters by next episode. That means that by Part
5 I will finally be able to get to the meat of the
storyline.
Hope you stick around until then!
$Sure will, looking forward to more. And if I get everything done by then,
I can C&C them too.
NOTE: Some people have been complaining that I use
far too much Japanese. Well, to make my fic more
accessible, I will now be adding a glossary.
In the future, I plan to get rid of the glossary
altogether (since it's so long) and instead make
a "Master Battousai Manual" which will include a
glossary, as well as various info to help
understand the continuity I have made (since I
changed a lot of historical things, which may
confuse you readers).
$Gee, ya think? Anyway, nice job.
Kichigai
ICQ# 37606443
Visit my site! http://lavender.fortunecity.com/clockwork/416/index.html
Ask me about my vow of silence.