*****
As Ryoga sailed away from the Tendo Dojo, one thing that Ranma said kept
running through his head.
Yasuko: You can't sleep with Akane anymore until you sleep with me.
Ranma and Ryouga: WHAT?! [pigtail stands on end as well as Ryouga's hair and
bandanna]
Yasuko: [smiles] Boy. you guys are so easy to tease. Stop blushing!
Ranma and Ryouga: I am not!
'Face it bacon breath, when it comes to free-form martial arts, you can't
beat me!'
It was true, Ryoga hated to admit it, but it was true. Ranma was more
skilled when it came to free-style martial arts. He was, after all, a
black
belt in "Anything Goes" style.
Ranma: Er...we don't use any sort of system to clarify where we stand in our
skill levels of Musabetsu Kakutou Ryuu, its branch schools of Umisenken and
Yamasenken, or any other martial arts around Nerima. A black belt to me is
just to hold my pants up.
But what about controlled forms of martial arts. An idea formed in
Ryoga's
mind. This would be easier to implement now that he had a sense of
direction.
Mihoshi: Oh, what does the mind of a Ryouga, granted a sense of direction
begin to weave, I wonder...
Ryoga reached into his backpack and pulled out a well-worn map of the
world.
He needed to find Brazil.
Ryouga: Why Brazil?
Ranma: [shrug] Beats me.
With luck, he hoped, he'd land near the docks.
*****
6 Months Later:
Location: Brazil, The Gracie Dojo.
Ranma: The Gracie Dojo?
Ryouga: Why would I be at the Gracie Dojo for?
Rickson Gracie stood before the young man in admiration. Next to him
stood
his brothers Royce and Royler.
"I must commend you, amigo. Out of all our students, you have trained the
hardest and learned the fastest.
Ryouga: Um, you're missing a quotation mark at the end of the sentence.
"Thank you, sensei."
"It has been amazing, you are the only student of ours who I feel is at a
level that has surpassed that of me and my brothers."
Yasuko: Boy, the Gracies are nice people.
Ryouga: Not that nice, I think.
"Thank you, sensei."
Royler stood up to him and presented him with a plaque. "Congratulations,
my boy. You are now a certified master in Gracie style jiu jitsu and our
forms of shootfighting. This, combined with the training you recently
received in Ken Shamrock's Lion's Den Dojo make you the most skilled
shootfighter in the world today."
Tenchi: Ken Shamrock teaches now? I thought he was still doing plays.
Mihoshi: Um...don't you mean wrestling?
Tenchi: Is that what it's called?
Ryoga Hibiki smiled, "Thank you, sensei."
*****
One week later, the Tendo Dojo:
Akane watched in fear as her fiancée trained with Genma. In the six
months
since they had last seen Ryoga, Ranma had become increasingly abusive
towards
her.
Ranma: [piku] How the hell did this happen?!
Ryouga: Sounds like the author doesn't like you Ranma. Portraying you as a
bully... Don't worry; I know you're not that bad.
Ranma: Thanks...I think.
Not physically, but verbally, and to the point where his sheer presence
frightened her.
Yasuko: Considering that this is the same person that has smashed tables,
hammers, fists, feet, and god knows what else over your head, I don't think
so. What did you do, goose her?
Then there came a shout. "SAOTOME! I CHALLENGE YOU!"
Ranma turned, "Dammit Kuno, didn't that beating I issue to you last week
knock and sense into you? And what the heck are you doing out of the
hospital so early, it takes more than a week to recover from a broken
back....
"
Ryouga: Woah. That's really vicious...
Ranma: [insulted and annoyed] What is this?! A fanfic glorifying me as some
sort of wife beater?!
Celine: Calm down, Darling.
Yasuko: Yeah. It's only a fanfic. We still love you, no matter how OOC you
get.
Ranma stopped as he realized that it was Ryoga who had spoke. Ranma
smirked
at this realization.
Tenchi: A Theasaurus might not be such a bad idea . That way, you won't use
the same words over and over, which will bore your audience to sleep.
"Well, well, well. Look who finally got enough guts to show up again.
Ryouga: Well, getting blasted all the way to Brazil and haveing to walk back
isn't exactly fun, you know.
Ready to get your ass kicked again, P-Chan?"
Ryoga smiled slightly. "No, Ranma. I've come to challenge you."
"So you did come to get your ass kicked."
"No, I've come to challenge you, with a few stipulations."
"Stipulations?"
"Yes. If you beat me, then I leave, I'll stay away from you and Akane
forever."
"And if I lose?"
"Then I get to ask Akane if she'll go out with me."
Ranma laughed out loud. "Like that'll ever happen. Deal, Ryoga. Prepare
to die."
Yasuko: Now that's a switch. Ranma sounding like Ryouga.
Ranma and Ryouga: Hey!
Ranma assumed his usual loose fighting stance. He expected Ryoga to
charge
in blindly, like he usually did, but was surprised as Ryoga assumed a
defensive stance.
Ranma: Well, Ryouga doesn't usually charge in blindly for anything, unless
he's mad.
"This is new," Ranma said.
"You'll find I'm just full of surprises." Ryoga dove down, and floored
Ranma with a textbook leg-sweep.
Ranma: [blink] What else did he learn from the Gracies, God Speed? That's
about the only way you're going to floor me with any sort of ground sweeping
technique.
Ranma 'uffed' as he landed. Ryoga followed up by locking Ranma into a
kneebar.
"Get off, Ryoga, what the hell do ya think you're doing?"
"Fighting you, Ranma. Just not in a way you're used to."
"Oh, I see. Pig-boy starts watching a bunch of Ultimate Fighting tapes
and
suddenly thinks he's got the key to beating me." As he said this, Ranma
rolled onto his back and used his free leg to kick at Ryoga's head.
Celine: Darling was already on his back, if you will note. He never turns in
any direction after taking the fall.
"Something like that." Ryoga caught Ranma's free leg and flipped him up
into the guard position.
Mihoshi: What's a guard position?
Celine: I was thinking the same thing. The author should have described how
it looks rather than just say "guard position" and assume everyone knows what
he is talking about.
"What the hell is this?" Ranma struggled to kick Ryoga off, but couldn't
with his massive strength. Ryoga wailed away with fists to Ranma's head.
It
was all Ranma could do to cover-up.
Ranma: Interesting...did Ryouga also get a new curse, too, Spring of the
Drowned four armed man? That's about the only way he's going to hold my legs
and beat on me as well.
'This was impossible,' Ranma thought,
Ranma: See? Even your Ranma agrees that move is impossible.
'Ryoga was beating him..' And there
was very little he could do about it. Almost all of Ranma's offensive
attacks required the opponent to be on his feet and standing at least a
foot
away, not pinning him down and wailing away at his face.
Yasuko: Obviously someone's missed out on the Umisenken/Yamasenken story...
Finally, Ranma was able to roll onto his side, but Ryoga simple wrapped
his
hands around Ranma's gi and started to choke him out with it.
Ranma: Forgive me, I seem to have made a grievious error earlier; Ryouga has
fallen into the Spring of the Drowned Octopus Man. There's no way in hell he
can do all of that with two arms.
"Tap out, Ranma. It's the only way to end this aside from you passing out
or dying."
"Hghff," was all Ranma could respond.
Celine: How...articulate.
> Ryoga finally let up and began applying blows to Ranma's left shoulder.
Ranma shoved him off and tired for a spinning back punch. Ryoga grabbed
his
arm and applied a jujigatame (cross-arm breaker).
Tenchi: Would it have been so wrong to have just said that instead of the
parethesis note?
Akane watched in amazement. Ryoga was employing submission skills, and
was
actually BEATING Ranma.
Ryouga: What is the author smoking? I can beat Ranma; I have, in fact,
several times before. The two times in the Shishi Hokodan story were my
first real victories against Ranma. I don't count all of the other times
before then real wins.
Ranma struggled to his feet and slammed Ryoga against the Dojo wall,
trying
to yank him off his arm.
Ranma: I'm not going to even bother trying to explain just how wrong this is.
I just won't.
Ryouga: Um, didn't you lift a cement floor with your toes while you and
Hiniko-san were glued on your faces once?
Ranma: That's different.
Ryoga responded by working his legs around Ranma's back, then quickly
cinching his arms around Ranma's throat and shoulders.
Akane watched in amazement as Ryoga applied a triangle choke. Ranma fell
forward, struggling for air. Finally, it was too much. Ranma tapped out.
Mihoshi: How anticlimatic that turned out to be.
Celine: I was disappointed.
Ryouga: That makes two of us.
Ranma: Three.
Yasuko: Four.
Tenchi: Five.
Mihoshi: I guess that makes it six, then.
Ryoga released the hold and collapsed in exhaustion. He'd won, he'd
finally
beaten Ranma Saotome. And he'd made him tap.
Celine: Noo! Not my only two Islands! Curses, I cna't counter your spells
now!
Ranma: Celine?
Celine: Magic reference, Ranma Darling.
Ranma: ...okay...
"RYOGA!" He turned to see Akane running towards him.
"Akane, oh, thank the kami you're alright. I was afraid that Ranma might
have hurt you after the party."
Yasuko: Nah. I treated him like a baby; pop a nipple in his mouth, and he
went right to sleep.
Ranma: [turns to Yasuko] Huh?
Ryouga: [scratching his head] What did she say?
Yasuko: ...nothing. [whistles innocently]
"No, no. I'm fine." Akane was crying and hugging him. She lifted his
chin
so that he was staring into her eyes. "Well..."
"Well what?" Akane glared at him. "Oh, the deal. Right."
Ryoga got on his knee and took her hand. He gulped slightly, this was far
more scarier than facing down a Gracie or fighting Ranma.
Ryouga: You act as if a Gracie is scary. I've faced worse...as P-Chan!
"Akane Tendo, if you're free Saturday night, would you like to have dinner
with me?"
Tenchi: Well, I would have expect him to be stuttering, or some other show of
his nervousness.
Akane smiled again, tears in her eyes. "I'd love to."
The End
All: Thank God!
*****
Author's Notes: I've never seen a fic that dealt with Ranma and the world
of Mixed-Martial Arts/Shootfighting.
Ranma: Probably because I can stomp them all without really trying.
It would seem logical that a person
like Ranma, who relies heavily on magic/ki and flashy kicks and punches for
his offense, would be completely lost in a UFC type match-up, and thus
would
get destroyed.
Ranma: That would be true...that is, if that's all I did rely on. In
barebones honesty, I don't usually bother with ki/chi/magic whatever you want
to call it, or flashy kicks like that Guile character in the Street Fighter
movie.
Tenchi: [groans] You would have to bring that up. The movie was pretty bad
in itself.
My apologies for any OOC that you may not have appreciated.
Yasuko: Like everything...
But then, this wasn't written by Takahashi or the TV writers, so anything I
have them do is automatically OOC.
Celine: You know, he does present a valid point.
Ranma: Well, yeah, but it ain't gotta be that OOC.
Ryouga: True. Also, he could use some more work on developing a better
storyline.
Yasuko: Originality works nicely. However, not every idea will be original,
so when you write, you have to make your story sound unique from other
stories with the same or similar premises.
Tenchi: The fight scenes definitely need some work. Some of those moves, a
professional contortionist couldn't pull off without breaking something. It
was choppy, the way it flows. I just couldn't get into it at all.
Mihoshi: He could also use some more description. Not everyone watches UFC,
or know what a guard position is, or any of that stuff.
Ranma 1/2 & characters TM & copyright 1996 by Rumiko Takahashi.
Royce, Rickson & Royler Gracie used without permission, based on composite
likenesses of their real-life counterparts. Any relation is unintentional.
W*ING and the W*ING logo TM & copyright 1994 by Victor Quinones and Mickey
Iberagi.
Ryouga: Let get outta here. [heads off in a random direction]
Ranma: Hey, you dummy, it's this way!
[No answer]
Ranma: Ryouga?
[Still no answer.]
Ranma: Aw man, he got lost again! [sighs]
Tenchi: Washu-chan isn't going to like this...
Mihoshi: No kidding.
* * * * *
"He did what?!" Washu shouted.
Tenchi explained. "He just went off in a direction and...poof, he was gone."
The redhead genius groaned. "I can't believe this is happening. Our one
chance to get home--lost in god knows where..."
The two Washu dolls popped up on her shoulders.
"Don't give up hope, Washu-chan!"
"You're the greatest scientific genius in the universe, Washu-chan!"
"Oh, put a sock in it."
The two dolls hung their heads and folded back to wherever they had came from.
"So," Mihoshi began. "How did the installation of your new lab go?"
Washu perked up. "Successfully." She pointed at a closet door. "Ta-da!"
Ranma, Yasuko, and Celine looked at the door. "A closet?"
"Not just a closet. My new lab!" With that, Washu swung the door open,
revealing to them her newly created laboratory.
"Ooo...."
"Come on, I'll take you all on a little tour." The little genius walked into
the portal, followed by Tenchi and Mihoshi. Ranma, Yasuko, and Celine walked
in after some skepticism. "Don't forget to close the door!"
"Okay, Washu-chan darling."
As the door pulled to a close, Washu spoke aloud, "Now what am I forgetting?"
A few minutes later, there was a loud explosion behind the door. Black smoke
streamed out from the cracks and gaps all around the door frame.
"MIHOSHI!!"
"Sorry, Washu-chan!! I didn't mean to!!"
"ARGH!!"
To be continued?
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