A Humble Home for a Strong Heart

Chapter 7

Standard Disclaimers Apply: Ranma 1/2 and all its characters is from Rumiko
Takahashi. Sailor Moon and all its characters are from Naoko Takeuchi. Andso
on.

==========================

She laid her chin in the palm of her hand and scanned the swirling maelstromof
sight and sound with minute precision. Her eyes did not lie. The samefallacy
she had caught earlier was still there.

She frowned, and spoke aloud her thoughts. "This cannot be. This is not supposed
to happen. Something's wrong..."

============================================================

At exactly 6:00a.m., the humming started. It brought her to the edge of
consciousness...a sweet, soft voice, humming a gentle tune she almost
recognized. It was a humming that made her warm and, for some reason, verysad,
as if she longed desperately for something she could no longer have. The humming
started to fade, and she strained to hear it more...if only if it waslouder...

"Mama?" she called out drowsily.

Then she opened her eyes to a room that wasn't hers.

Damn. So it wasn't all a dream, then.

Lita sighed and rolled onto her back, flinging one arm over her eyes and the
other reaching out towards the night-table before remembering that her rose
earrings would not be there. She wasn't an early riser, but something had
awakened her, though now she could barely remember what it was. It was something
nice, though--something that had faintly tugged at her dreams...

*WHACK* "Hey! Cut it out, old man!"

<Oh yeah. Him. What's he doing up so early?>

"I'm doing this for your own good, boy!" *WHAM*

Now that was a voice she hadn't heard. It didn't sound like Mr. Tendo. Whowas
that?

"Ha!" *SMASH* "You have to catch me first!"

<Ranma fighting this early in the morning? Boy, the day doesn't have tostart
for him to get in trouble. At least he's outside instead of running about in the
house.> She flinched as something crashed below her. <How do the others putup
with this?>

A soft voice called out from downstairs. "Ohayo, Ranma-kun. Did you wantyour
water now? You haven't changed yet."

"No, but keep it handy because a certain SOMEONE will be needing it soon!" Ranma
growled, his voice traveling from below to outside and raising to a strong
"Kiiiiya!" A few more thuds followed.

"Very well." There was a soft clank of a pot being laid on the stove, thenthe
faint humming started up again. <Oh, it's Kasumi who's doing that.> Lita
realized, slightly disappointed for a reason she couldn't name. <Ah well. Still,
it's nice to wake up to that.>

Something bumped against her elbow and Lita suddenly remembered P-chan. With her
eyes still closed, she scooped the piglet closer to her, content to lie and
enjoy the sounds of the Tendo household going through its morning routine.Her
apartment would always be silent every morning, even though she lived nextto a
busy street. She missed the sounds of talking and movement coming from thenext
room; it's been so long since she woken up to that...

"Sweeeeeto..." P-chan murmured.

Lita's eyes flew open. Sweeto?

"Sooooo soft!"

P-chan had not spoken last night. Why did he choose to speak now? And whendid
his hooves turn into squeezing little hands?

Lita shot upright.

A little old man was nestled between her breasts. At her gasp, he peered upat
her with kawaii-huge eyes. "My, my, my little Akane. How much you have
*grown*!!"

"AAAAAUUUUUUGGHHHH!!!" She snatched the man off her chest and threw him into the
air. "You PERRRRVERRRRRT!" As he fell back towards her, she reared back and gave
him a good, hard punch, shooting him up and out...

...through the roof.

"Lita? Are you alright?"

Lita gawked at the new skylight she created. <Oh, no! What have I done?!>She
scrambled to her feet and stared at it. Against the brilliant background of
blue, a butterfly flew in, checked itself, and flew back out. "Oh, no!"

"Hey, Lita?" The voice was Nabiki's, and it was nearing. Lita frantically looked
about, still standing on Akane's bed. Her mind was working irrationallyfast.
<Maybe if I stuffed something up there, no one would notice.>

Nabiki was knocking on the door. "Lita?"

"Um, be right there. I'm, uh, dressing." She grabbed a pillow and stuffed itin
the hole, where it hung out like fluffy aluminum siding. <Terrific. Thisfamily
accepts me into their midst and I repay their kindness by smashing a littleold
man through their missing daughter's roof. What a way to start the day.>

To be on the safe side, she opened the door a crack. "Yeah?"

Nabiki, in her bathrobe, peered up at her. "I heard you yelling up here. Are you
alright?"

"Well, um...er....I was...um...I thought I saw something at the window..."

"Oh?" Nabiki was nonchalantly trying to see past Lita into the room.

"Yeah, so I shouted, and then it disappeared. I guess it was myimagination."

"Or it could have been Happosai. He has a habit of sneaking into Akane'sbed."

"Uh, yeah. Heh-heh. I think it was him."

Nabiki shrugged. "If he does that again, just do what Akane does and punchhim
through the roof. That usually does the trick, not to mention it's so satisfying
to hurt him so. Not that I would know-- I have other means to keep him away from
me. I don't know how many times Akane threw him out her room. We once had to
redo her entire ceiling once. It's a good thing I have a good deal with the
building contractor here. It's great for business." She smiled mysteriouslyand
walked towards her room. She paused to grin at Lita before going in."Anyway,
the furo's free. You should use it before Ranma lands in it or something."

Lita stood there for a moment, then turned around to look at the ceiling.She
could now see the rough spots of countless repatchings. There was even arecent
spot in the corner that had a couple of boards nailed haphazardly together.She
turned to say something to Nabiki, but she had already gone into herbedroom.

<Oh well. I guess around here something like that would be considerednormal.>

Still, something else nagged at her, something she couldn't place a fingeron
but important nonetheless. She pulled the pillow from the hole and stared at it,
frowning. <Something's wrong here...but I don't know what it is...> Shelooked
around the room. <How did that weirdo get in here anyway? And what happenedto
P-chan? The bedroom door was closed, so how did he get out? Is that what's
bugging me? Somehow, I don't think so.>

Going downstairs, she paused as a voice shouted from outside. "Is that thebest
you can do, boy?! That was barely a tap!"

"Oh yeah?" Ranma retorted. "Then take this! HI-YA!!!"

Lita peered out the sliding doors in time to see Ranma launch himself towards an
older man in a white gi and glasses. They exchanged several blows in mid-air
before touching down on opposite sides of the yard. The man immediatelyleapt
back up into the air, sweeping a kick towards Ranma, who nimbly dodged by
leaping up at the last second, vaulting over the man's shoulders, andlashing
out with a kick of his own. The man, however, caught Ranma's foot and swunghim
towards the pond. With an agile twist, Ranma neatly landed on a rock besideit.
"Nyah! You're getting old, Pop!"

<Pop? So that's what Ranma's dad looks like when he's not a panda.>

"Heh. With age comes wisdom, boy!" Mr. Saotome launched another kick towards
Ranma, who dodged but didn't see the fist as it smashed into his face. As he
toppled backward, however, he managed to hook his foot around his father's
ankle, tumbling the both of them into the pond. There was a few seconds of
silence, then with an explosion of water, a huge panda and a red-haired girl
shot out, still exchanging blows before leaping to opposite sides of theyard
again.

Lita's jaw dropped. <Wow. They're good.>

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Lita." Kasumi spoke softly behind her. She gave Lita acheery
smile. "I hope you slept well last night."

Lita blinked. "Uhh, yeah. Ohio go say Mass to you too. I slept fine,thanks."
She nodded towards the sparring duo. "Do they do this every morning?"

"Just about. They are good, aren't they?"

Lita could only nod. Just watching them in action made her realize just how
little she knew when it came to fighting. Even as a guy, Ranma achieved afluid
grace that she felt she could never attain, no matter how hard she practiced. <I
bet Akane practices with him a lot.> Her face fell slightly as an image of Akane
fighting with the Sailor Scouts popped into her head. <At least if something
comes up, they have someone to fill in for me. I hope she doesn't mindfighting
with a bunch a girls in mini-skirts. Is that's what's wrong? Am I feeling
jealous because she's there to help them and I'm not? No, that can't be it.Can
it?>

She suddenly became aware that Kasumi was speaking to her. She smiled weaklyat
her. "Sorry, I was thinking of something. What did you say?"

"Well, I'm going to be busy with breakfast, so I was wondering if you would like
to prepare lunch for Ranma and the others. You seem very knowledgeable about
cooking from what you told me last night."

"Can I? Really?" Lita's face lit up. "Of course! I'll be honored! Let me get
washed up real quick..." She took off towards the bathroom, her mind so busy
flipping through her mental recipe box that she didn't catch Kasumi's small,
satisfied smile as she returned to the kitchen, humming a slight tune to
herself.

A short while later, Lita returned to Akane's room to see a couple ofchanges:
The hole in the roof was patched with another pair of boards <Wow, theyreally
must be used to this to do patch it up so quick.> and a school uniformsimilar
to what she destroyed yesterday, except several sizes larger, was lying onthe
bed. In fact, it looked as if it would fit her perfectly. Frowning, shescooped
it up and took it downstairs.

Nabiki, Soun Tendo, and Ranma's father, still a panda, were already sitting down
to breakfast. Lita held out the uniform, "What's this supposed to be?"

"A school uniform." Nabiki replied blithely. "What else?"

"Yeah, but what's it doing here?"

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Well, you can't very well go to school dressed in
Ranma's shirt and boxers, can you?"

"Huh?!"

"What do you mean, 'my shirt and boxers'?" Ranma, as a girl, entered behind Lita
clad in pants and a towel draped around her shoulders. Soun's chopsticksmissed
his mouth by a yard, lodging neatly in the panda's mouth, who immediatelytook
advantage of the food there.

"I'm talking about this--!" Lita whirled to shake the uniform in Ranma'sface.
Her eyes bugged out. "My God...YOU GOT NO SHIRT ON!!"

Ranma blinked, "And?"

Nabiki shook her head as she poured a hissing teapot of water over Ranma."And,
she is our guest, Ranma. The least you can do is act civilized for once.Then
again, with your upbringing, that is a problem for you, isn't it?"

"Hey! That's hot!"

Lita stared as Ranma began toweling off his chest--his muscular, manlychest,
still glistening from the hot water--then shook herself and tried toremembered
what she was yelling about. "Oh yeah. Look, when I agreed to do this dingbat
plan of yours, I didn't plan on going to school in her place. You said itwill
only take a couple of hours!"

"And that's how long it will take--to convince Cologne, that is." Nabiki pointed
out. "But we need to establish that you *are* Akane, and what better place to do
that than in front of lots of other people, like school?"

Ranma tugged on his school shirt. "What I want to know is how you were ableto
get a school uniform in her size. I mean, Ukyo's about her size and shenever
wears one."

Nabiki smiled. "That's because (a) Ukyo wouldn't be caught dead wearing oneand
(b) she doesn't know which specialty shops to look in."

Ranma blanched. "You mean--?"

Nabiki's smile deepened as she lifted a teacup to her mouth. "Girls her size are
very rare. I was lucky to even get that one for a decent price. Don't worry. I'm
sure you'll find a way to pay me back. Akane is, after all, your fiancee, so
Lita must look the part."

As a sick look came over Ranma's face, Lita interjected. "But this is crazy! How
in the world would people think I'm Akane? We don't even look alike!"

"Are you good with classes?"

"Well, no, but--"

"But you can speak English well, yes?"

"Okay, yeah, but still--"

"And you said last night you got into a lot fights with boys at your school,
right?"

"Yeah, I did, b--"

"And we all have seen you have something of a short temper..."

"EXCUSE ME?!"

Nabiki shrugged. "So what's the worry?"

"What's the worry? Are you blind?" Lita drew herself to her fullest height.
"Look at me! You actually expect people to believe that *I'm* Akane Tendo?"

Ranma laughed as he sat down and began shoveling breaking in his mouth.

"Oh, that. Don't worry about it. It's okay."

"But what if--"

Ranma pointed at her with his chopsticks. "Look, don't worry about it, okay.
Just say that you're Akane Tendo. People may stare and talk, but if you say
you're Akane, they'll believe it. Trust me. We know what we're doing."

It was Lita's turn to look sick.

===========================================================

It was a beautiful day. <Perfect for picnicking,> thought Ukyo Kuonji walked
through the gates of Furinkan High with a light heart, a full lunchbox, anda
firm grip on her Kick-Ass Spatula(TM). She had just slammed a mailbox concealing
an over-amorous Tsubasa into the stratosphere, which had been satisfying todo.
Now, if she could get Ranchan alone for a few hours, that would make it a
perfect day.

Whistling, she went to her locker to change into her slippers for her first
class. If she hurried, perhaps she could make it into the classroom before Ranma
got there. Well, actually, it probably wouldn't matter if she got thereearly
because Ranma was always late, no thanks to that hussy Akane. It was herfault
that he was always late; it never made sense to Ukyo that he never went offto
school without her. Oh well. That's okay. Ukyo was his *cute* fiancee. Now,to
work on becoming his wife...

She slammed her locker door just as a pale, tragic figure slumped by. Ittook
her a second to remember his name: Gosunkugi Hikaru. Strange. He lookedweirder
than usual--his face was a shade whiter than it normally was, making therings
beneath his eyes stand out like someone drew a black marker beneath his eyelids.
He held a camera loosely in his hands and he wandered down the hall as if he was
in a shell-shocked daze.

Oh well. That wasn't going to stop her from having a beautiful morning.

"Yo, Gos!" she called out. "What's up? Another one of your spells bit the dust?"

He turned towards her, blinking rapidly. Then, he pulled the camera tohimself
tightly. "I'm an idiot." he breathed.

"Nothing new there, pal."

"I thought I knew everything I needed to know about life. So I'm not martial
artist like everyone else. Big deal." He continued, oblivious to her barb. "Then
*she* entered my life. She was my sunshine in darkness, a flower in a wasteland,
yet she was so unattainable. I thought, even if I took a thousand pictures,I
could never make her mine. Yet, I continue to try and try, hoping against
hope..."

His left eye began to twitch. "But today...I went to capture her essence onthe
way to school...she had changed...as if some transformation took place
overnight...such brutal strength...as if she was bursting with beauty...so
tall...so...so..." Suddenly, he howled. "I'LL NEVER WIN HER NOW!!! DAMN YOU
SAOTOME!!! DAMN YOOOOUUUUU!!!" He took off down the hall, tears of rage
streaming from his eyes.

Ukyo blinked several times before saying. "Yeah...um...you have a good daytoo,
Gos."

As she walked into the classroom, she noticed another unusual thing: most of the
students were clumped together, whispering and furtively glancing about. She
could only catch a few phrases, but they were enough to make her frown. "Did you
hear about...?" "Did you see how tall..." "...bra size alone doubled...""...as
if she took some hormone pills..." "...man, that Saotome gets all the good
ones..."

Ukyo was used to rumors regarding Ranma; after all, he *was* the most talked
about boy at school. However, linking his name up with some female thatwasn't
her needed to be investigated. Casually, she reached over and grabbed thefirst
male collar she saw, which happened to be Hiroshi's. "Say, you guys mind telling
me what all the fuss is about?"

"K-Kuonji-kun!" the unlucky boy stammered. "Umm...you mean you haven't heard
about Ranma?"

"No, I haven't heard." Ukyo narrowed her eyes and pulled the boy closer."What
about Ranma?"

Hiroshi didn't reply because at the moment, the boy in question stomped in,
steam rising from his clothes and a fuming look on his face. He turned tosnap
at someone outside the door. "Look, for now on, when I say 'follow me',don't
take it so literally!"

"Well, excuse me!" a husky voice answered back. "How was I supposed toknow?"
And in walked a tall, young woman who was definitely *not* Akane. Sheflipped a
wisp of chestnut hair from her face and scowled at Ranma. "You didn'texactly
say 'Stay on the ground.' I thought it was what you did normally."

"Normally?!" Ranma smacked his forehead. "Well, yeah, of course it's normal. For
*me*!"

The girl crossed her arms under her chest, immediately drawing the attentionof
every single male in the room. "Oh, I see what the problem is, then. Youcan't
handle the fact that anyone else, much less me, has perfect balance otherthan
you. When I jumped on the fence behind you, you actually took that as athreat
to your perfect male ego!" She poked her finger in Ranma's chest foremphasis.
"So don't--blame--me for losing your balance and falling into that canal!"

This little speech drew some applause from the girls in the classroom, atleast
from those who weren't green with envy. Ukyo's mind, however, was stilltrying
to convince Ukyo's eyes to go back into their sockets. <Who the heck is she? Why
is she talking to Ranchan like that? What happened to Akane?>

"This has nothing to do about my ego! Okay, if you want to walk on the fence
with me, fine. But don't do it so close! People may get the wrong idea..."

"Uh, Kuonji-kun? My shirt..."

"What wrong idea? I thought we were supposed to be engaged! What happened to all
that talk yesterday about me being cute and you being so weak-willed? Ifwe're
engaged, shouldn't we act all lovey-dovey or something? That's what engaged
couples do, right?"

"K-Kuonji-kun? I - I ...can't...breathe!"

"No! I mean...uh..." Ranma glanced nervously about. "Well, that is,uh...uh..."

The girl suddenly realized that they had an audience. "Excuse me? We're having a
private discussion!" She snapped, glaring about the room.

Immediately, the students became very preoccupied, except for Ukyo, who released
her hold on Hiroshi's collar (causing the poor boy to stumble away,clutching
his throat) and reached for her spatula, beyond caring who this strange girl
was. All she knew was Ranma somehow has gotten yet *another* fiancee (onewho
was definitely built, she noted angrily), and she was going to pound that stupid
jackass and that shameless hussy into the ground until she got answers.

Ranma gulped and began to back away, babbling, "Ucchan! Now, Ucchan, let me
explain..." The girl was still glaring at the class, failing to noticeUkyo's
approach. It was just as well because at that moment, Hinako-sensei chose to
skip in.

"Hello class! Sorry I'm late! I was busy taking care of a few..." Shestopped
and a wary look came on her pert, little face. "Do I sense a fight getting ready
to take place? There better not be any *delinquents* in here!"

As one, the class scrambled to their seats, Ukyo reluctantly sheathing her
spatula and giving Ranma a very nasty look before going to her seat. Thetall
girl blinked in confusion until Ranma hurriedly tugged her away, whispering
urgently in her ear. The girl stared at the little teacher in disbeliefbefore
shrugging and muttering, "Well, I've seen stranger things." She then walkedup
the aisle past Ukyo (missing her glare), but instead of walking out of the
classroom, she hesitated, then slid into the only empty seat that was left.

Akane's seat.

Ukyo's jaw dropped on her desk. <Who does this hussy think she is? First she
proclaims herself Ranma' fiancee, and now she's sitting in Akane's seat like she
belongs here?! The nerve! Wait until Akane finds out about this! Where isshe,
anyway?>

"Excellent!" Hinako-sensei giggled, clapping in glee. "Now I can take roll
call!"

Fuming, Ukyo could only sit still, consoling herself with visions of Akane
introducing her fist to the hoity-toity stranger sitting in her seat. For a girl
who comes out of the blue and announces herself as Ranma's fiancee, however, she
certainly didn't seem to be fawning over him at the moment. Instead ofstaring
at the back of Ranma's head with goo-goo eyes (like Ukyo had caught herself
doing every once in a while), she was gazing out the window. <What does she want
with Ranchan anyway?> Ukyo narrowed her eyes, trying to read the girl'smotives
by sheer willpower.

"Kuonji Ukyo?"

"Here."

Earlier, when she had snapped at everyone, the strange girl was in afighter's
stance. So she was a fighter as well. Somehow, that didn't surprise Ukyo.The
question was what style of martial fighting was she in. Ukyo couldn't see
anything on her that could be used as a weapon. Maybe she was one of thosewho
excelled in hidden weapons, like Mousse. It didn't matter, though. Nofighting
skill will save her butt once Akane catches her in her seat. Ukyo may evenbe
nice and help Akane kick her out of town. If that stupid girl ever shows up,of
course. Where the heck was she?

"Saotome Ranma?"

"Yo."

Ranma turned to look at the girl, looking worried as Hinako-sensei continued
calling down the row. Was it because this strange girl was sitting inAkane's
seat a few seats away, or was it because Akane hadn't showed up yet? How didhe
know her anyway? Could it be that (God-forbid) maybe he actually hadfeelings
for her? <You can't have him, you hussy. He's mine!!!>

Ranma caught Ukyo glaring at him and appeared to shrink in his seat. Oh, yes, he
will have a lot of explaining to do when lunchtime comes. And to think she
actually made lunch for him today!

"Tendo Akane?"

The entire class looked at the door, then turned to stare at the tall girlwho
was still looking idly out the window, lightly tracing the desk with her finger.
Hinako-sensei looked up from her roster and peered across the room,frowning.

"Tendo Akane?"

Ranma looked nervous. For some strange reason, instead of staring at thedoor
where Ukyo expected Akane to show up at any second, he was staring *very*hard
at the girl sitting in Akane's seat. As if...

"TENDO AKANE?!"

"Wha--?" The girl jerked from her daydreaming, looking confused. Then she looked
at the diminutive sensei and replied, "Oh, yeah. Here."

Not even the wind could blow through a silence that thick.

Hinako-sensei picked herself up off the floor and gawked at her. "You'reTendo
Akane?"

The girl nodded.

"Tendo...Akane?"

The girl nodded again.

Hinako blinked over and over. She went to stand in front of the girl, peering up
at her. "Let me get this straight. *You're* Tendo Akane?"

"Jeez, how many times do I have to say it? Yes, I'm Tendo Akane, or AkaneTendo
or whatever my name is supposed to be. I'm engaged to that guy over thereand
I'm supposed to be the inheritor of the Tendo Martial Arts School of
Indiscriminate Grappling...or something like that. What, you want a blood sample
or something?" She scowled about the room, particularly at Ranma, who was
thumping his head lightly on his desk and groaning softly.

Ukyo's mind was trying to convince her eyes to go back in their socketsagain.

"Don't get smart with me, young lady!" the sensei snapped, recovering her poise.
"You may be...different today, but I still know a delinquent when I seeone!"

"Umm, Sensei?" All eyes whipped to Ranma, who flinched slightly before
continuing. "I think I may be able to explain."

Hinako scooted over to him, tapping her little foot sternly. "Well?"

Ranma took a deep breath. "Well, you see. Do you remember that 'delinquent'you
were trying to get yesterday?"

"Yes, I remember. It was you."

"Uh, yeah, but let's skip that for now. Really. I mean it. Do you rememberwhen
Akane somewhat threw herself in the way?"

"I can barely recall, but I supposed she did."

"Well, Sensei, something...happened. Some jerk threw some water on her atthe
same time, and well, once the smoke cleared, she had changed to what you see
now. It has the entire family baffled."

Hinako frowned and scampered back to the girl, who looked warily at her.

"Strange. My 'discipline' should not have this type of effect."

"Gave me quite a shock as well," the girl (Akane???) muttered sullenly, then
winced at her own pun.

"And what's worse," Ranma continued. "it gave her amnesia as well. Shedoesn't
remember anyone, not her parents, her friends, nothing."

Hinako-sensei cocked her head. "So what you're saying is that my Happo-ten-ketsu
attack, in combination with water, left you in this, um, form, with no memory of
who you are." The girl shrugged nonchalantly, looking nonplussed as theteacher
peered long and hard at her for a few more minutes.

Then Hinako-sensei smiled happily. "Okay!" She then skipped to the front ofthe
class. "Well, now that we established that, take out your English books and turn
to page 257..."

The girl known as Akane(?!) gaped at the sensei, then looked at Ranma--whogave
her a sly grin and a thumbs-up sign--before shrugging and settled back topay
attention to the teacher.

<Oh, the heck with this,> Ukyo's mind gave up and went into numb shock along
with her eyes.

That girl was supposed to be Akane?!

Her?!?!?!

That was impossible. No, that was 'no-way-in-hell' impossible. Akane? With a
body like *that*?! Impossible! Inconceivable! It couldn't be! That, thatamazon
could in no way, shape or form be Akane! The real Akane must be putting upsome
elaborate joke. Yes, that's it. It was all a joke. Any moment now the real Akane
would walk in and pronounce it was all a big joke on the class, and then
everyone will burst into laughter. Ha, ha. So funny.

<So, if that's true, why would Ranchan go along with it? And why would he doit
so convincingly? The real Akane would never think up something as deceptiveas
this. Shampoo, perhaps, but not Akane. It's as if...as if...>

'Akane' looked utterly bored. With her chin in her hand, she idly let hereyes
wander across the room until they fell upon Ukyo staring hard at her. Hergreen
eyes widened, as if she was finally seeing Ukyo for the first time <Greeneyes?
Akane doesn't have green eyes!>. The girl blinked then tore her eyes awayand
began to furiously study the book before her. After a moment, she risked another
glance and hurriedly looked away again, a slight flush creeping across her face.

<Aha! For someone who has amnesia, she can't even look at me!> Ukyo thought
fiercely. <Something must be up.>

She whipped out a sheet of paper and quickly scrawled:

Akane,

We need to seriously talk. I'll meet you outside at lunchtime.

Ukyo

Folding it up, she gave it an expert flip. It bounced off the girl's headand
onto her lap. She gave a slight yelp and glared around her, causing a fewguys
who were ogling her to shrink in their seats.

Hinako-sensei paused from writing on the board. "That wasn't a *delinquent*
yelping, was it?"

Ukyo immediately put on some semblance of paying attention while watching
'Akane' frown at the note on her lap and pull it open. A small crease in her
brow appeared as she read, then reread the note, her lips moving silently.She
then looked around in confusion, and Ukyo had to wave to catch herattention.

<Sheesh, you would think she's carrying the amnesia bit too far. But then again,
the real Akane was never too bright. And she did scowl at those guys asecond
ago. Maybe Ranchan wasn't lying. Maybe that is Akane. But what's with that body?
Akane's body shouldn't have changed so drastically if the sensei's technique
wasn't used on her. She shouldn't be so built like that, and so...socute...too
cute if you ask me. Ranma might think her cuter than...no! No! I won'tbelieve
it! That can't be Akane! Look at her! Wait, she's looking at me. I mean,really
looking at me. What the...>

'Akane' was giving her the strangest look, her eyes shining and wavering.The
very air around her seemed to grow soft and hazy as she sighed and leaned
forward, cupping her chin in her hand. Ukyo frowned and looked behind her.Why
was she staring like that? It reminded her of that idiot Ryoga wheneverAkane
would come around, that spaced-out, moony expression...

Oh no. No, no, no...

Ukyo wasn't blind. She knew of all the looks she got from the girls when she
would walk down the halls. A favorite joke to play on those girls who cameinto
the school for the first time was to try to set them up on a date with the
mysterious hunk who wore his hair in a long ponytail and carried a huge spatula.
She even knew that a few girls wished she was a guy. But it was all harmless
fun, and secretly, Ukyo didn't mind (her motto: Strive to be cute in *all* ways,
honey) so long as it didn't get out of hand. After all, even though she
preferred dressing like a guy at school (force of habit, she kept telling
herself), *everyone* knew that she was a girl.

Which was why the look 'Akane' was giving her was making her very, very
uncomfortable.

"What do you think you're doing?!" She whispered as loudly as she could."Stop
that! Don't you know who I..."

Unfortunately, Ranma chose to turn to look at the girl and gasp less softly,
"Hey! Pay attention! Are you trying to get yourself kicked out?"

The lovey-dovey expression the girl wore swiftly changed. "Mind your own
business!"

"Feh. Some thanks I get for helping you out. Who would've thought I'd getstuck
with a lusty, boy-crazed nympho..."

Fortunately, Ranma didn't go any further. Unfortunately, that was becausethe
girl had dove from her seat as quick as lightning and reared over Ranma,
planting one foot on his chair so she could pull him close by the collar and
cocking a fist back as she snarled, "WHAT WAS THAT?! WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"Yes." Hinako-sensei said in an oddly-calm voice. "I'm also interested inwhat
you have to say. I'm sure you can say it loud enough for the ENTIRE CLASS TO
HEAR!!!"

The girl froze, fist held in mid-air as she slowly realized that everyonewas
staring at her. She looked at the small sensei, who was tapping her foot
impatiently, and a lame smile came on her face.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Ranma gulped, "Umm...forty-two?"

"HALLWAY!!! NOW!!!"

Ukyo stared as the teenagers trudged out. In a sense, that wasn't odd. It
wouldn't be a normal day at Furinkan High if Akane and Ranma didn't get in
trouble. And the girl certainly reacted in a way the real Akane would.
Maybe...maybe she really was Akane.

And that meant trouble. Big, big trouble.

==========================================================

"Thanks a lot. Thanks a whole lot."

Lunchtime had come and Ranma was irked. He didn't know what irked him more:the
fact that he had to stand in the hall when he didn't do anything, or thefact
that it was Lita's fault he was standing in the hall, or the relative easeLita
was holding her buckets of water or that stupid mooning look on her face she
wore all morning long. It was almost enough to make him scream. "What theheck
was all that about anyway? Do you always go around with that stupid mooningon
your face all day?"

Lita paused in unpacking lunch to glare at him for a moment. "You must go
through a lot of breath mints." She said flatly.

Ranma blinked. "What?"

"For all those times you stick your foot in your mouth. A whole lot ofbreath
mints."

Ranma's face reddened. "Now look, you're supposed to be..." Suddenly, he
realized that for a light lunch, Lita sure was taking out a lot of bowls and
boxes. "Ano, Lita, what's all that?"

"This? Oh, it's a little something I whipped up." Lita smiled as she placeda
few last bowls about her. "Kasumi asked if I could help her with lunch. Boy,I
hope I made enough."

"You made this?"

"Uh-huh!"

"*You*?!"

Lita rolled her eyes. "Look, this 'you' thing everyone's saying is gettingold
fast. What's wrong with showing my appreciation by making lunch for you?"

Ranma stared at the buffet with trepidation. "Uh, nuh-nothing. Nothing atall."
Other than the fact that Akane never made so much stuff when she cooked orthat
her stuff didn't even resemble the food that was spread out before him now.
Passing Lita off as Akane was looking more outlandish every minute.

"Hey, Ranchan!"

Ranma groaned. <And things are about to get worse.>

Ukyo, in full boy mode complete with matching spatula, vaulted easily overthe
dining students and plopped herself down next to him. Her face wasdeceptively
sweet. "Mind if I join you guys? "

"Uh, sure, Ucchan. I don't mind at all. How about you, A-ka-ne?" He nudgedLita
in the arm, stressing the name carefully.

Lita turned a bright pink and gasped, "Sure." She waved her hands at thespread
of dishes. "We were just about to have lunch."

Ukyo stared. "Hey, what's all this? Did Kasumi go overboard or something?"She
had addressed the question to Ranma but was intensely staring at Lita,making
her blush deeper.

"Actually, I made it. Go ahead. Have some. I made enough."

Ukyo blinked. "You made this?" She stared at the dishes, then reached for a rice
roll and hesitantly munched on it. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"This--this is good!"

"Really?!" Without hesitation, Ranma grabbed a bowl and began scooping upits
contents. A myriad of tastes danced across his tongue, all adding up to<Whoa,
this is good! This is really, really good! A fighter and a great cook! Hey,I
can began to like thi--uh-oh. Don't go there, Ranma.>

"Of course it's good! Why wouldn't you think it is?" Lita asked. Then,shyly,
she dipped her head. "Of course, when I cook, I put a lot of love into what I am
cooking. Like you said in your note, we do have a lot to talk about. Iconfess
that since my, um, accident, I can't remember you, but maybe this will helpus
to get reacquainted again."

Ranma choked on his food. <She's been all googly-eyed today over *Ucchan*?!Oh
noooooo!!!>

Before he could say anything, however, Ukyo abruptly stood, her hand goingto
the huge spatula strapped behind her back. "All right," she barked, "thishas
gone on far enough! I don't know what kind of a stunt the both of you are
pulling, but it's going to stop right now! Who are you, impostor, and whathave
you done with Akane?!"

Hearing Ukyo demanding the whereabouts of her rival would've made Ranma crack up
if it was for the deadly serious look on her face. Lita looked at her,puzzled.
"What? What are you talking about? You don't like the food?"

"The food is great! It's too great, in fact! Akane would never make anything
this good! Why, she can't even boil water correctly! Therefore, you can't be
Akane, which means that you're after Ranchan, somehow. And you can't havehim,
because he's mine!"

Lita turned to Ranma, who was waving his hands in a panic. "Oh, my God." She
said slowly. "You mean on top of all those other fiancées, you'reinterested in
boys, too?!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I'M A GIRL, DAMMIT!!!" Ukyo shrieked.

Lita stared. She rubbed her eyes and stared some more. "You'rea...a....girl?!"
She stared at her a moment more, then scrunched up her face. "EEEEEYYYYYEEEEWWW!
And to think I actually thought you were a hunk! What's the big ideadressing
like a guy? You wouldn't happened to be *those* kind of girls, would you?"

"Those kind of--you take that back!"

"Whoa! Ladies! Ladies!" Ranma interrupted. "Why don't we sit down and I can
explain everything."

Lita narrowed her eyes. "Ladies? I don't see any ladies here besides me. Asyou
can see," she jutted out her chest. "I'm *all* woman."

The area, which was pretty much clear, suddenly filled up with hundreds of
drooling schoolboys. Ukyo growled and whipped her spatula towards her.

Swiftly, Ranma quickly placed himself between the two. "Wait! Wait! The bothof
you are getting carried away! Sit down and let me explain! Honest! I can!
Besides, you're drawing attention!"

The girls suddenly noticed their audience and simultaneous snarled, "Do you
MIND?!" A hundred men scrambled back, reluctant to leave. Glaring at Ranma, Ukyo
and Lita sat down and immediately turned away from each other. Ranma sighed.

"Okay, Ukyo. Here's what happened yesterday." He proceeded to spill out atale
with a few embellishments that would have made his father proud. Lita seemedas
just as astonished as Ukyo upon hearing her counterpart's fate. When he
finished, Ukyo studied Lita, though some skepticism still was apparent onher
face.

"So, Ranchan. Let me get this straight. Due to this weird lighteningbolt/water
thing, Akane's body was transformed into the exact opposite of what it usedto
be?"

"Yeah."

"And she lost her memory as well?"

"You got it."

"And her personality got switched all around too."

"That's as far as we know." Ranma mentally pleaded with Lita to keep hermouth
shut and let him do all the talking.

Ukyo crossed her arms. "And you actually expect me to *believe* all this?!"

"Well, um, ah--" Ranma stalled, trying to think of another excuse.

However, his thoughts ceased when a male voice spoke behind him.

"Alas, this tale of woe must be true, for there sits the beautiful flower,her
beauty burst into the peak of its ripeness. If this foul sorcerer claims it so--
and since he is the main bearer of such news, I have no doubt that he wasthe
cause of such a metamorphoses--then by all means, a great curse has beenplaced
on Akane Tendo!"

Ranma groaned as Kuno pushed past him to kneel before a bewildered Lita. He
grabbed her hand and continued feverishly. "But fear not, fair maiden! For I
view this predicament of yours not as a curse, like Saotome--who has usedhis
devilish tricks no doubt to place you in this situation--but as a blessing,a
grand blessing to those who walks this earth. Who would foresee suchravenous
beauty, such cunning wit, such stormy eyes, such melodious speech, would come to
us today! Your love shines just as brightly in this body as it did in thelast,
and though the two forms you wear are as different as the starry night is
compared to the cloudless day, yes, yes! I firmly believe that the same soul
exist in both!"

Ranma rolled his eyes. <Oh, this is great. He has trouble believing I andhis
'beloved pig-tailed girl' are the same, but of course he has no problems atall
accepting Lita as Akane.> Out loud, he said, "Hey Kuno, just because Akane'sin
a new body doesn't mean that she doesn't hate your gu--OOF!" Ranma's windwent
out as his stomach met her fist.

"Yes! That's right! I *am* Akane Tendo!"

======================================================================

Lita was in ecstasy. Her disgust upon finding out the cute guy in theclassroom
was actually a girl (and what scared her more was that she still thoughtUkyo
was cute --ack!) had been thrown out the window when this *dreamy* guy had
literally thrown himself at her feet and started spouting poetry. WhoeverAkane
was, she sure was popular with the guys. Surely she wouldn't mind if Litamade
sure her reputation remained true.

She giggled and looked shyly away from the handsome young man who had yet to
finish his eloquent ode to her. "Mina, eat your heart out." She murmured,
imagining the blonde's reaction to her being doted upon.

Meanwhile, Kuno was winding down. "Yea, verily, the sun doth shine withinyour
emerald pools, just as surely as its morning rays emerges from behind such
bounteous moun--erk!"

"Give it a rest, Kuno, before you give me indigestion!" Ranma, her shirt stained
with the cold pop Lita had inadvertently knocked her into, gave Kuno a well-
placed foot-to-the-head. Lita opened her mouth to retort, but instead letout a
confused "Huh?" when Kuno picked himself off the ground and threw his arms
around Ranma.

"Ah, my beloved pig-tailed goddess!" He cried. "Of course, it is natural for you
to display such feelings of inadequateness. Fear not! For your beautyinvokes a
fiery love that will never be quenched in my heart, one that dear Akane can
barely touch."

As Ranma struggled to breathe, Lita got her wits back to gasp, "Hey! Whatabout
me?!"

Without skipping a beat, Kuno released Ranma (dumping her onto the ground)and
swiftly caught up Lita in his arms. "But alas, even the fiery pig-tailed goddess
cannot compare with this robustness, this new vision of Akane Tendo thatfairly
burst at the seems with such ripe beauty. Such loveliness causes me to castoff
all old passions and longings and begin them anew. Oh! Such joy we will find
together, Akane Tendo!"

"Hey!!" Lita cried, realizing that this guy wasn't as romantic as she thought he
was. She let out another gasp as Kuno abruptly whirled, spinning Lita ontothe
ground, and held his arms towards a rising Ranma.

"But what of the pig-tailed girl? Nay, my love forbids me to cast her away,for
she is the heath that remains lit to warm its master when he returns. Hersis a
comfortable love that is the reliable rock in the storms of change. Hers is
everlasting, ever-enduring."

"And yet," He turned to Lita, also rising to her feet. "Akane Tendo, such
bountiful beauty!"

He looked at Lita, then at Ranma, then at Lita, then at Ranma, and thenutter
the phrase that sent beautiful girls into paroxysms of utter boredom.

"ALAS! I CANNOT CHOOSE! THEREFORE, I MUST HAVE BOTH!!!"

His intent of sweeping both his loves into his arms was derailed by twofists
landing simultaneously on each jaw, followed by two feet landing in his gut.

"Geez, don't you ever get a clue? BEAT IT!!!"

"Why you two-timing, sleazy jerk! GET LOST!!!"

Kuno spun around, his face sporting tell-tale handprints of the two girls.He
smiled widely. "Ah, how they adore me!" He crowed, just before falling face-
first into a convenient bowl of miso soup.

Polite applause scattered across the air as Lita flipped her hair from hereyes
and growled, "God, isn't there *anyone* who classifies as *normal* here?"

Then she realized that although the applause had died down, there was still
someone clapping.

A young woman with long blond tresses, dressed in a dark green schooluniform,
stood a little aways, clapping steadily. Her green eyes glinted in appreciation,
but it was overshadowed by the growing smirk on her face.

Ranma frowned, then grunted slightly in recognition. "Tamohone Atsuko. I shoulda
known."

The girl clucked her tongue and sidled up to the tiny group. "Now, now, Saotome.
Is that any way you should talk to your elders? Especially after you've been
discourteous to us?"

As Ranma looked puzzled, Lita turned to Ukyo, who had been watching theevents
cross-legged, eating her lunch. "Who's she?"

"Oh, don't tell me you don't remember?" the girl smiled. Lita was suddenly
reminded of those nature films where the subjects had been snakes. "Afterall,
by forfeit we should have won the little duel we had set up for yesterday
afternoon, but Reikka was so disappointed she didn't get the chance to beat some
manners into you that she sent me here looking for you."

Ranma stared at her blankly, then slapped her forehead. "Oh, crap! The
tournament! I forgot! Hey, look, I was busy, okay?"

"So I hear." Atsuko sniffed. "Chasing women was always your strong suit,
Saotome. But then again, with four fiancées, honor isn't your highestpriority,
isn't it?"

The students 'ooohed' as Ranma clenched her fists. "Look, I keep tellin' yaI
have *three* fiancées, not four! And besides--"

Lita jumped in. "Hey, who do you think you are, anyway? I don't like it when
people pick on my friends, particularly if one of them is supposed to be my
fiancé!"

"Yeah!" added Ukyo, gripping her spatula behind Lita, not wanting to be left
out. Atsuko ignored her and frowned at Lita.

"And you are?" she drawled.

"I'm Li-uh,"<Whoops, girl. Don't give it away.> "Tendo Akane. What's it toya?"

The smaller girl appraised her coolly, making Lita think back to the nature
movies where the snake sized up a helpless fieldmouse. "Interesting. Youlook
shorter from a distance. I suppose it won't matter though. You'll be an
interesting contestant at the tournament this afternoon."

"Huh? What tournament?"

Instead of replying, Atsuko scooped up one of the bento boxes from Lita's spread
and began nibbling its contents. "Mmm. I take it you made this mochi ball, yes?"

"Uhh...yeah, but what does that--"

Atsuko smiled. "Quite tasty, I must say. Too bad it doesn't measure up to
Reikka's, but there's always room for improvement." With a slight shrug, she
dumped the rest of the food onto the ground and casually stepped on it,slowly
grinding it with her heel. "I'm sure Reikka will be glad to teach you how to
make *real* food, once she finishes trashing you and your hermaphroditefiancé
over there! Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Had it been her hairstyle or her tomboyish attitude being slandered, Lita
would've waved the insult off (or so she told herself--in reality, the girl
would've been sporting a nice black eye quicker than you can say 'Tyson'),but
the thing that Lita prided herself on more than anything else, even her fighting
skills, was the fact that she could cook, and not only that, she could cook
*good*.

Nobody insulted Lita Kino's cooking. Nobody. That was tantamount toinsulting,
say, Kasumi Tendo's cooking. The difference, however, between Kasumi andLita
was that if it had been Kasumi who was insulted, Atsuko wouldn't havefinished
laughing, turned around, and walk straight into a fist.

*POW!*CRUNCH!*WHACK!*THUMP!* "Listen you--"*SMACK!*WRENCH!*WHUMP!*NAB!*"How dare
you!"*WHONK!*BAP!*CLONK!*SLAP!*"Insult me like that, you--!"
*PUNCH!*RIP!*CLOCK!* "YOU WANT A FIGHT?!?!?!"*SQUEEZE!*DOINK!*TOK!*TOK!*TOK!*
"I'll kick your scrawny little--!" *BOING!*POP!*CRACK!*TWIST!*TEAR!*...and a
very high...*KICK!!!!*

"AND YOU TELL THAT TRAMP THAT DAMN STRAIGHT I'LL BE AT THAT TOURNAMENT TOTEACH
HER A THING OR TWO!!!" Lita yelled as Atsuko soared into the atmosphere.

There was a shocked silence, then the students erupted into overwhelming
applause, except for Ranma, whose jaw had hit the ground minutes before andnow
refused to be put back in its place again, and Ukyo, who indulged in a very
soft, very rare, "Sugoi..."

Lita lowered her foot from where it hovered after it released Atusko'sbottom
and huffed, "Ugh! The nerve of her, saying my cooking needs improvement!I'll
improve her face the next time she shows her weasly butt around...hey,what's
with the clapping?" Bewildered, she looked at the cheering students, then at the
vanishing speck in the sky...and that was when it hit her.

She had just beaten up and kicked someone high in the air, *without usingthe
powers of Jupiter*.

That was it. That was what bothered her this morning. There was no way she
would've punched that old guy through the roof if she was back in her own world.
She just didn't have the strength there. Even if she was in her Jupiterform,
the worst she could do was knock him around a bit before giving him a good shock
treatment. And knowing the shape she was in, she probably would've beengasping
for breath afterwards. There was always the need to push herself harder toget
results. There was always room for improvement.

Until now. She had just trashed someone, and she wasn't even in a sweat. Beating
that girl up was so effortless, she didn't even think about it. It just
happened. And even the little things she did, like walking on the fence with
Ranma earlier. At home, she would've struggled to keep her balance, buthere,
fence-walking was a breeze. Lita stared at her hands in wonder. It was soeasy
now! She didn't have to be Sailor Jupiter to defend herself. She was now faster.
Stronger. *Better*.

"Heck, I'm *better* than better," she whispered, clenching her fists. "I'm
*invincible*!" A broad grin stretched across her face. "Those two alienfreaks
won't stand a snowball's chance against me! I got power now. Real power! Ican
do anything I want and no one can stop me, because I can beat them to a pulp
with just my pinkie finger! No one will be able to stand against me! I amall-
powerful! I am all-mighty!! I RULE!!! BWAHAHAAAAA! BWAHA, BWAHA, HA, er,
Ha...er...um..."

Slowly, Lita realized that her victorious laughter was being overhead by
hundreds of students and teachers, all who were now staring at her silently with
huge eyes. She regarded them, then slowly turned to see Ranma and Ukyo doing the
same, large sweatdrops hanging on their faces.

There was only one thing she could do. She put her hand behind her head and
laughed weakly. "Heh, got a little carried away there. Sorry."

And as the entire school performed one massive facefault, Ukyo turned to the
softly groaning Ranma and said, "Okay. Let me get this straight one moretime.
Are you *sure* that's Akane?!?!"


============================================================
LaShawn M. Wanak (tbone_m_jenkins@yahoo.net)
T-bone Enterprises * In Touch With Yours Truly
============================================================