Piccolo181@aol.com wrote:
Here goes Ranma of the Dead Star chapter one.
by,
Piccolo181
******************
Tendo Dojo Nerima Japan
There was a man, formerly a boy. Who was dreaming of his life once lived.
Some modern day mystics would have called what he was expierienceing as a
"past-life regression". Which would normally would have been true, that is _
if _ the person in question had participated in the normal process of
reincarnation.
As it stood this particular man was different. He was reborn to one destiny
and the forces of Karma and Darma could not touch him, and likely would not
wish to if they could. Since he had only had one life and was still living it
this should be called, more of an awakening to what he once was. And will be
again weather he wishes to or not…(1)
Annoying control characters.
Silver Millennium (A few hours prior to the end: The Royal Hall)
You can hear the scurrying of men decorating the Royal Hall to beautify
it beyond its already majestic splendor. The Room is about the lenth of two
football fields, and a third that in width. Its floor is clearly made of
diamond while the open skylight display's Terra in all its splendor, and the
decorations being put up enhance its beauty to beyond opulent.
At the back of the room is a large elevated throne made of dazzling
crystal which seems to bond with the wall at its back. To its sides are seven
podiums slightly elevated where the Senshi usually would stand to protect
their queen from danger, or to advise her in important functions. But the
visitor that is being announced was not considered dangerous or worthy of
respect so the Senshi remained where they were, "instructing" the serf
workers.
ADDMITTING: RANMA OF THE DEAD STAR! , a page screamed, as the large
heavenly doors opened to a point where the width of a person could barely
pass through. It was a man, he was about six feet in height give or take and
commas before and after "give or take"
had an air about him that reeked of power and nobility. But was totally
offset by his appearance.
He was dressed in standard workers uniform, a granite gray shirt and pants,
but the coveralls were smudged with grime and had small rips and tears
spotted across them. As if they might be his only pair. Even his face which,
held sharp lines deep blue eye's, and jet-black hair, with a rogue handsome
charm that would have sent the average idol singer into fits of suicidal
envy. Was forlorn looking while somehow still maintaining the proud noble
Sentence fragment.
facade he had honed after years of abuse; it was as if he was a hostage just
Semi-colon splice
walking away from the place of torture and didn't want to let the terrorists
_ ever _ think they had broken his spirit.
After the man was about fifteen meters from the queen he dropped to one knee
and waited for his queen to allow him to submit his report. About a half an
hour later she finally addressed him.
Your report?
"I have completed the assigned tasks you have given me My Queen. Repairs of
the Southeast section of the Palace are complete I have reenergized the
strenth/defense & self-repair enchantments to the walls. Also as per your
request the Golden Millennium anti-invasion traps have been repaired to
operational status and then enhanced as far as I have ability to do so, My
Queen."
That is satisfactory. You will help Mercury and Mars test the stability of
your work tomorrow so your request for a front line operation assignment is
denied until further notice.
* Damn her! I have done every thing I have been asked to and still she
doesn't trust me enough to allow me the honor of a proper position in _ HER
_ precious army! Doesn't the fool see she's in DANGER! Well I guess its time
for a final throw. *
"Your Majesty", Ranma voiced in a low and pleading tone.
Ranma began to plead.
'I have done everything you have asked of me since I have entered your
service. Have I been not been loyal? , or incompetent in some way? My powers
are as potent if not more so than even your Senshi of Saturn so how can it be
that I am insufficient to you? Is there some......(2)
Feh.
If Ranma had been looking at Queen Serenity at the time he would have shut
up. She was walking noiselessly towards him. With a fuming a brackish blue
battle aura that could likly melt lead. Then when she was in range she did a
"likely" Incidentally, if he's so good, why couldn't he feel that aura?
punt kick that sent the unprepared man flat on his back ( Tough to do in a
gown). Then with fluid merciless grace she brought the pointy heel of her
shoe and pressed it against his windpipe with just enough force to trouble
his breathing.
What do you mean a gown? She's obviously wearing a leather corset and boots
up to her thighs.
You are _NOT_ the equal of _ANY_ woman! Let alone any of _ MY _ Senshi!
Oh come on. Why would he have sworn allegiance to such an obvious bitch?
I mean this is a lovely S&M scene, but unless he's into that sort of thing...
There are other ways to run a matriarchy than with this kind of unsubtle
brutality.
Perhaps I should have you tamed again wild horse you are forgetting your
commas before and after "wild horse"
place in _MY_ kingdom! You are a man, and thereby inferior to all females.
Despite you abilities you exist to serve myself and any other female. Do you
understand male?, That last word was produced in such a threatening yet
utterly disgusted tone that it nearly made Ranma cry.
(cough, cough)"Yes my Queen I had forgotten my place thank you for correcting
me." He said still on the floor. *Why does she do this, hell! Why do I keep
doing this when I get this for my reward? I should kill her and the damn
Senshi….. No!! I made an oath dammit!! And I won't brake it. Then I'd be as
break
bad as _ HER _, I will serve her till my death or hers that was what I
pledged…. Hah!, at the rate things are going with Duchess Beryl that won't be
too much longer anyway. Strange I almost feel relief at that thought.*
"Also" she added after she had started to walk back to the throne. "I'm
afraid you will have to recharge the magic reserve for the royal defense
grid, so you will be unable to attend the ball." But if any of the Senshi end
the night unattended they will summon you for your…. "services" Understood?
(3)
…….
"Yes Queen Serenity". *One way or another. Wether it takes all the blood and
Whether.
Iron of the Silver Millenium. I will gain your respect Serenity, even if it
takes my life.*With that thought concluded he left the hall followed closely
by three of the now smirking Senshi. (4)
How nice. All the senshi are evil too.
******************
(1) Most magical beings dont want to mess with the "It" that is backing up
Ranma. Even the Buhddist aspects of death which deal wtih rencarnation, If
only out of respect if not fear.
(2) This is not arrogance "It" can swallow suns and there isnt a planet in
existence that could embue as much power as a gravity well could to its
sentinel. And if you think Saturn should be stronger go look up the term
"gravity well" in a science dictionary, your wrong trust me here.
That depends on what one means by "should". For example one _might_ mean
that one shouldn't go around handing out 10 times the power of the senshi
to a good guy regardless of what celestial body he represents; or that if
one did, he shouldn't need to be abasing his self; or say that Saturn's planet
destroying power is as much as anyone should really need; or point out that
the power gained from celestial bodies in the Sailor Moon universe isn't
proportionate to size or gravity well since the Moon is a relatively small
body which produces no particular energy but the Moon Princess is the most
powerful of all the Senshi.
<gasp>
(3) If you don't understand whats going on here then perhaps you should just
shrug and ignore it. For those who _DO_ in my opinion this is the WORST
treatment you could give any warrior, those who practice the oldest
profession in history have always been considered the lowest of the low.
Nope. There have been quite a few times and places where upper class
mistresses and concubines have been a position accorded considerable
respect. Of course that doesn't apply here, what with Serenity being
the Evil Queen and the Senshi her bully girls and all.
(4) "Iron and Blood" is a quote from the primeminister of Prussia right
before starting WWI. And yes this will be trouble later.
Prime Minister
For those who reponded to the teaser here's the first chapter. I'm sorry the
cut-offs a bit abrubt but I'm busy studying for finals and I wont be working
on dead star for a while so I thought I'd send in what I have. Flames will be
ignored whil C&C is welcomed with open arms.
-Piccolo181@aol.com
Pledging Member of the Church of Nabiki and an Akane
hater/killer/basher/destroyer/assasin/torturer/anihlator to the last brain
cell.