This is the first of a set of one-shot fics collectively known as "The B*tch
Sessions." I penned them at 4:00 in the morning, so I have no idea where
they came from.
Warning: Spoilers for the end of Tenkuu no Escaflowne.
PS: There is some bad language (the real bad stuff has been censored for
your viewing pleasure)
PPS: It's angsty.
C&C appreciated, flames too, just because I enjoy pain.
Disclaimer: Tenkuu no Escaflowne is the property of Shoji Kawamori, Yadate
Hajime, and Sunrise. [insert comment about being poor so don't sue me]
~VAN~
We thought we'd be content with just our thoughts.
What a joke.
I can't hold a thought, can't feel it pressed up against me.
A thought can't tell me that it loves me.
No one else understands what I'm going through. They all just tell me that I
blew it when I let her go. Dammit, she was willing to stay with me here.
She wanted to help rebuild.
So much for happy endings.
My thoughts of her are just painful memories now; she feels them. I think
she's upset with me because I bombard her with depressive notions. Well,
sh*t, I can't help it, can I? She looks so happy, and I'm utterly miserable.
Why can she adjust and I can't?
I should have never fallen for her.
I should have let her go to that jerk Allen and just ignored them both.
Instead, I just opened myself to getting hurt. What a big surprise.
Everyone important in my life gets taken from me. All I've ever known was
pain. After chichue died and aniue disappeared, my life has never been the
same. I'm so tired of being hurt and lonely.
I wonder if I could die from a broken heart?
I wonder if anyone would care if I did.
All I am to anyone is King of Fanelia, the boy who isn't quite a man who no
one can speak to on a normal level. Except Merle… but her obsessive clinging
is starting to get on my nerves. God help her, she thinks she's cheering me
up. Every time she starts up, I just want to take the Royal Sword and ram it
into my heart. I wish that she'd just leave me alone…
If I push her away, then I'll be alone, *completely alone.* I don't want to
be alone.
Oh God, what's happened to me?
_________________
chichue = father, familiar
aniue = elder brother, familiar
~Haruka Kaoru
"Once again I'll become Shinigami... but first I need a nap."