Hi!
Hello once again, Morgan!
This is a bit late, but I've had very little free time lately.
Here is the part where I beg for you to send me C&C. I know, I know,
that's
a novel and fascinating idea. But it's just so crazy, I think it might
work!
Give it a try, and let's see, shall we? ^_^
Ask... no. BEG, and ye shall receive. ^_^
Let's see... my previous story arcs are archived at
http://dataraven_659@tripod.com/roninsummer.html
and at
http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Underworld/4709/roninsummer1.html
and if you want earlier chapters from this arc, e-mail me. I'll probably
send them, if my ISP doesn't crash or something : I'm a pretty nice guy.
^_^
Selling yourself in your notes, my friend? Shame on you! ^_^
And don't think I didn't saw those lovely URLs up there. That's three in a
row! Yeah! ^_~
Anyway, let's get on with the real reason you're here, shall we?
Awww, I really like reading the author's notes. Seeing the writers rant
sometimes proves very funny.
The story awaits!
And here we go again!
As always, any and all comments are IMHO, so feel free to ignore my
almost-delirious ravings if you can't take them any more.
Say Bye to Slow Internet!
SLOW INTERNET: Goodbye, all! I'm moving to Argentina!
REALLY-REALLY-SLOW INTERNET: Hey, me too! In fact, I already know a guy down
there. Latin... something.
^_^
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
Oh, Listar, Listar. What would Morgan's (and my own, too) formatting do
without you? :-b
OBLIGATORY LEGAL DISCLAIMER : Some of these guys aren't mine. The
Sailor Senshi belong to DIC and Kodansha, while the Yoroiden are owned
by Sunrise and Graz Entertainment. Okay? So don't bother suing me. I'm
a student.
RONIN SUMMER : DARK CRUSADE
A Sailor Moon / Yoroiden Samurai Troopers cross-over
by Morgan Hudson (dataraven_659@excite.com)
Chapter Five :
Heheh. DO I have to say anything? At all?
Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. ^_^
Yamanouchi Naotoki was cold and tired. The two tended to happen
in unison, a fact he chalked up to the unknown scaly father whose cold
blood still ran through his veins. He blinked, and his eyes did not
quite open as wide as they had been when he started. In the background,
'When he started' doesn't sound right. I know what you mean, but something
seems... off. Why not:
...as they had been before.
Or something
he could dimly hear a radio humming platitudes to itself as two voices
Platitudes... Don't have a clue about what that is. Not that my vocabulary
is that big to begin with.
discussed the weather like old men sitting on a porch. Occasionally,
their discussion was interrupted by some highly annoying person trying
to convince him that his life was incomplete without something called
a "Nintendo". More often, their discussion was interrupted by the
swearing of Nasuti Yagyu.
Nintendo IS a big part of my life--and Playstation, too. But Naaza wouldn't
appreciate it--I doubt you can get many computer games in the Dark Kingdom.
Actually, now that I think about it, I doubt there's even ELECTRICITY in the
Dark Kingdom.
"Oh," she groaned, "come ON! Start, you useless piece of-" With
an exasperated sigh, the woman slammed her head against the steering
wheel and proceeded to curse both loudly and with emphasis. Yamanouchi
smiled to himself as he rolled onto his side and stared lethargically
at the falling rain outside. He liked a woman with a healthy
vocabulary.
ASUKA: Dumkopf!
NAAZA: My love! *runs after her*
"It's nearly nine-thirty in the morning," Nasuti moaned as she
turned her head just far enough to see the watch resting on her wrist.
"We were supposed to be in Odawara hours ago! What's WRONG with this
stupid thing?"
I'm just guessing here, but I think the problem is that it doesn't start.
^_^
"Hey, what can I say?" Yamanouchi shrugged and stared at the
roof of the vehicle as he rested his hands behind his head and fought
the urge to yawn. "I guess the kamis are causing trouble."
But isn't 'kami' a Japanese word? You once told me that the plural was the
same as the singular when Japanese words were involved, so it should be
'kami', right?
As we're on the subject, why don't you simply use 'gods'? I've heard a
couple of people talk about gratuitous use of Japanese before...
Specifically, he thought to himself, the kami he had been praying to
for the entire drive. Yes, he thought as he slowly reclined his chair,
everything was perfect...
"HEY!" A foot kicked him sharply in the kidneys. "Watch it,
snake-eyes! I'm sitting back here! You nearly crushed me!"
Well, Yamanouchi admitted as Jun Yamano kicked him again,
NEARLY perfect, at least. "I'm very sorry," he said with a wicked
smile at the boy. "Next time, I'll be sure to give you less warning."
"Hey, any time you want to try me, Naaza..."
Yamanouchi curled his lips back in a snarl just as a well-timed
flash of lightning gleamed off of his exposed fangs. "Is that an
invitation, twerp?"
I don't think killing Sailor Saturn's boyfriend is a good idea, Naaza.
PLEASE, think about it.
"JUN!" Nasuti glared at the young boy, who promptly swallowed
loudly and began looking for something to hide under. "I am a little
bit on edge right now, okay? We are stranded-"
"With a Masho," Jun pointed out.
"We are miles away from anybody-"
"With," Jun added, "a Masho..."
"And," Nasuti continued with a firm stare at both men, "thanks
to this storm, we can't get away-"
"From," Jun quickly interjected, "the Masho! Why am I only the
only one of us concerned about this?"
"From," Nasuti corrected him, "each other, so we need to get
along. This goes for you too, Naaza, so stop smirking at him. The last
thing I need right now is you two bickering at each other, like you
have been for the past six hours! I'm getting a headache!"
"Sorry, Nasuti," Naaza said sheepishly, and returned his chair
to its original position.
Heh. I seems Naaza has already learned the 'Yes, dear.' routine, ne? ^_^
"Sorry, Nasuti," Jun said with a mean grin at Naaza to show
exactly how sorry he really wasn't. The Masho of Poison scowled and
immediately began planning various intricate forms of death for the
little brat. Perhaps the Fleeing Maiden and the Singing Blades of
Destruction? Nah, he decided, the punk was too short to get the
required hang time for that one. Maybe he could try the Hangman's
Hundred Handed Horrifier, again. No, he quickly reminded himself, that
one usually just ended with him looking stupid. Last time, his victim
had escaped and he'd needed both Rajura and Anubis to untie him. Those
knots were REALLY tricky...
Y'know, this is the second time you've mentioned this one. I'm beginning to
wonder about it. In fact, I believe a detailed description is in order
(don't forget to add the [Really-Dark] tag).
"Naaza? Are you listening to me?"
"Huh?" Blinking, Yamanouchi turned to the beautiful woman with
the auburn hair who sat next to him. "Sorry, Nasuti. My mind must have
wandered there, for a second. What did you say?"
"I asked if you would mind taking a look at the engine. We
might have snapped our fanbelt, or maybe killed the battery."
Naaza opened his mouth to gently remind the young woman that
he was over four centuries old, and could barely tell an engine from
What does his age has to do with this? On the contrary, I'd expect his
knowledge to grow with the years. Maybe something like:
...woman that he had lived in the Dynasty for the last couple of centuries,
didn't know a thing about mechanics, and could...
Actually, I have no idea where Naaza's lived all those years (I know very
little aout the series), but you can easily fix that.
a waffle iron, then shut it and simply nodded. At least it would give
him a chance to stretch his legs a little, he decided, and opened the
door. Unfortunately, he had forgotten about the seat belt he was
wearing, and attempted to step out. Tangling in the straps, he nearly
choked before finally managing to slip free and land in the mud with
Suggestion:
...he decided. Opening the door, he attempted to step out, forgetting,
unfortunately, about the seat belt he was wearing. He tangled in the straps,
nearly choking before...
The way you wrote it is a bit confusing--to me, at least.
all the grace of a diseased crow. As Nasuti graciously closed the
door behind him, he tried to ignore the sound of Jun's laughter.
**********
Nitpick: If I'm not mistaken, you use these asterisks to separate scenes,
right? Well, I don't think you need them here. After all, both scenes are
written from Naaza's POV, and there doesn't seem to exist a noticeable lapse
of time between them.
Naaza sat in the mud for several seconds, waiting until the
ground stopped spinning before he clambered to his feet. Now, he asked
himself, where would the engine be in one of these things? For that
matter, WHAT would the engine be in one of these things? Probably, he
decided sensibly, whatever had just started making all the smoke up
front.
<SNIP NAAZA... TALKING WITH THE UNDEAD NINJA>
"I'd ask what you want with me, but I really don't care," he
Besides, I doubt the undead could answer him, even if he asked.
explained, and lunged across the ground between them, wrapping his arms
around the bandaged waist and tackling his opponent to the ground.
Pinning its arms down with his knees, Naaza proceeded to pound it in
the face with both fists. A black slippered foot slammed into the
back of his head, and the Masho fell forward.
"Damn! And just when I was getting a good rhythm." Naaza
hopped back onto his feet and spun to face the thing again. Holding
its sword on its left side, with the guard level to its collarbone,
the creature began to stride forward.
"Okay," Naaza interjected as he strode forward to meet it,
"you really shouldn't hold a stance like that, because it lets some
tricky bastard do things like this." Sweeping his foot up into the
air, the Snake Masho snapped a kick on the side of the katana blade,
causing it to slam into its owner's skull. With a strong thrust, he
planted his falling left foot firmly into the creature's chest. Using
the leg as an axis, Naaza then pivoted his body and slammed his right
foot into his opponent's temple. The creature in question flopped to
the ground like a puppet with its strings cut.
Which leads me to ask, how DO you kill one of these things? It's not like
they have a brain, or a heart, or lungs... You get the idea.
"You see? Now you're flat on your ass, and you dropped your
sword." Naaza smirked, and thunder boomed all around them as the rain
continued to fall. "I haven't even broken a sweat! How does a poseur
like you expect to beat ME?"
In answer, several dozen identical figures crawled out of the
bushes growing on the left side of the road. Naaza blinked as he
slowly turned and scoped out the situation. To the right, at least
another dozen were hacking their way through the guard-rail as they
struggled up the muddy incline with determination.
"Oh," he said as he watched all of the creatures draw their
swords and advance on him in unison, "you brought friends. Well, THAT
was certainly a bright plan. Kind of wish I'd thought of it, myself,
to be honest..."
Well, I'm pretty sure he has his yoroi with him, so I don't think they'll be
that big a trouble. Especially after seeing how Rajura went through them as
if they weren't there.
**********
Kujuurou Sasaki grunted as he lowered himself into the steaming
hot water. "We're wasting our time," he growled, and leaned his head
back to rest on the edge of the furo.
"I disagree." Sitting against the opposite edge of the tub,
Jirougorou Kuroda took a deep breath of the steam and relaxed slightly.
"If you want to be accurate, it's the Outer Senshi who are wasting
our time. We have exactly-" He checked the watch still strapped to his
wrist. "One hour and ten minutes to find Naaza and go home, or we're
going to be in trouble."
I notice you're using the actual names of the Masho, and I believe that's a
first in this series. Is there a special reason for this, or you just wanted
to keep me guessing for a while? ^_^
"And here we are," Kujuurou concluded, "taking a bath. How
very productive of us."
"Could you think of one other place in this entire house where
those three women wouldn't be spying on us? This seems as good a forum
as any for the discussion we need to have." Jirougorou sighed, and let
his long silver hair out of the ponytail he had been keeping it in.
"You want to ask the Outer Senshi for help, don't you?"
"It would seem to be a logical approach," Kujuurou admitted.
"Help looking for Naaza?" Jirougorou swept his mane of silver
behind his shoulders, his one good eye sweeping Kujuurou with a
piercing gaze.
"It would make our task easier."
"And defeating this 'Mother' creature, Anubis? Were you
planning to ask for their help with that, as well?"
So this is where you give the reasons behind Rajura's attitude. How I have
waited for this... ^_~
Kujuurou growled and raised his head, baring his teeth as
though planning to tear out his fellow Masho's throat. "Yes," he
snarled, "and you clearly do not agree with me, Rajura. Why? Why
shouldn't we-"
"Why shouldn't we beg?" Jirougorou scowled as he shifted his
position in the water. "Because we have our pride, Anubis. More
importantly, because I don't like asking for help from people we've
tried to kill."
Um, I don't think Rajura would put his empress AND his kingdom in jeopardy
to keep his pride intact.
Anubis barked with laughter, throwing his head back once more.
"Rajura, we've tried to kill everybody we know, including each other!
We don't have time to find someone new, NOT try to kill them, and ask
them for help."
"I'm serious, Anubis. I don't like these Outer Senshi. We don't
know them, we don't understand them, and we can't control them."
Now THIS I believe. He can't control them, so he doesn't trust them.
Rajura steepled his fingers together and leaned back as he continued
his explanation. "Furthermore, if we were to ASK them for help, we
would be expected to return the favour at some point. I have found life
much easier when I am beholden to no man, or woman as the case may be."
"Fine," Anubis snarled, "but while you maintain an easy life,
Naaza is all alone out there. And don't forget : we're ALL running out
of time, here. The only difference is that Naaza doesn't know it."
**********
Yamanouchi Naotoki hit the ground with a splash, water rising
around him in waves as he slammed into the mud. Twisting to the left,
he barely dodged a downward strike at his head, and quickly levered
his body into a handstand as a second blade dug into the muck where he
had lain. Vaulting forward off of his fingertips, Naaza arched his
back and flipped straight into the face an enemy, feet first.
"Come on," he taunted them, as he clutched the damp fabric of
his shirt with one hand. "Test your might!" With a rough yank, he tore
loose his clothing, to reveal a form-fitting
...blue suit with a big red S over a yellow shield embroidered on it. What
really got the undead ninja's attention, though, was the long read cape that
fluttered now in the wind.
^_^
Now THAT would be an unexpected twist--not to mention that it'd make the
battle very, very short indeed.
suit of dark chestnut
armour that simply hadn't been there seconds before. Clad in his
undergear, Naaza lunged through the ruined guard-rail, somersaulting
over a sword swing and skidding down the hill like a baseball player
stealing home. In a plume of rising water and mud, he tangled his legs
around one of his enemies, and brought it crashing to the ground. Even
as his metal-clad fist crashed through its skull, two more gouged
their blades into his back.
<SSSSSSNIP>
"Don't worry, Jun. They'll never get through these doors."
Nasuti nonetheless began to inch away from the eerie figures.
Heh. Famous last words.
Jun's eyes bulged as the jeep began to rock slightly. "Oh,
shit," he gasped as he rolled onto his back and grasped the cushion
with both hands, bracing his feet against the roof. "You'd better grab
onto something, Nasti, because if they're doing what I think they're
doing, this is going to suck!"
Nasuti turned to face Jun just as the jeep tipped over onto
its side, hurling her into the window. Crimson goo and black rags were
smeared all over the outside of the glass, and a more familiar pool of
crimson was forming under Nasuti's head. Jun began to move towards
There is such thing as a 'pool of crimson'?
Maybe 'crimson pool', or 'pool of crimson fluid', or something?
her, and heard the distinctive sound of twelve undead ninja hurling
In my dictionary (the one that had war-torn, so now I don't trust it that
much), 'distinctive' means 'easily identifiable'.
Is that particular sound distinctive, then? I'm not sure.
themselves against the undercarriage of a 1988 Suzuki Samurai.
The jeep began to roll over, and Jun began to scream.
**********
Naaza watched in sheer terror as the deceptively small red
jeep began to tumble down the muddy slope in his general direction.
Even as his eyes bugged and his jaw fell slack, the rest of his body
was acting on sheer animal instinct. Flinging his hands behind him
blindly, the Masho of Poison grasped two branches on the thick oak
he lay against and snapped his spine
...losing the capacity for walking. Naaza is now the only Masho that fights
from a wheelchair.
^_^
Seriously, I agree with K'thardin in this. 'Snapped his spine' gives the
wrong idea. Maybe 'cracking his spine like a whip'... but that doesn't sound
too good, either.
like a whip, launching both
himself and his captors over the fallen tree and down the hill in a
tangle of limbs. This inhuman knot sorted itself out as the five of
them hit a pine tree and scattered like bowling pins after a strike.
<SNIP ONLY ONE PARAGRAPH. DON'T COMPLAIN> ^_^
Naaza hissed venomously and narrowed his hooded eyes, slitted
pupils seeming to disappear as the orbs glowed with a sickly purplish
light. "Oh," he breathed, his breath steaming from between his lips as
Um, 'breathed' and 'breath' in the same sentence is awkward. Don't know how
you could change it, though.
the rain pounded down around him, "you. Are. SO. Dead." The sickly
haze of purple-pink energy crackled from his entire undergear, rising
into the air like mist and withering the evergreens that surrounded
him. Growling, he clenched and unclenched his fists, storming towards
the creatures even as they began to race down the hill to confront
him. "BUSSO..."
<TINY LITTLE SNIP>
"Consider it a favour to them on my behalf." Setsuna Meioh
slowly floated down closer to the ground, though she did not land.
Now, now. Pluto is able to fly?! I recognize I'm not the biggest SM fan out
there (though I DO have a poster with Sailor Mars playing voleyball in the
beach... in a bikini) , and I only watched the Anime (and only till the
story arc where the Outer are introduced). But I never saw THAT.
"I'm certain it was far quicker and more humane than anything you had
planned."
"Well, this is a pretty predicament." Without even realising
it, Naaza lowered his centre of gravity and began inching around Sailor
Pluto, his arms spread and fingers splayed. "Now, I'm all worked up,
and there's nothing to vent on." He ground his teeth and continued to
circle the Senshi like a shark in the water. "If I don't kill something
pretty damn quick, I'm going to go nuts!"
"You're already nuts." Setsuna easily knocked aside his first
strike with her Time Key, barely even flinching as he snarled and
kicked at her face. The Garnet Orb she bore flared, and Naaza slammed
into the mud again. Shaking off the hit like a prizefigher, the Masho
Typo: prizefighter
WOW! Only one typo in the whole fic! Who ARE you, and what have you done
with the real Morgan? ^_^
of Poison jumped at her again, and scowled as she dropped her weapon
and grabbed his wrists, halting him in mid-air.
<OH, YEAH. IT'S ANOTHER SNIP>
"I don't believe so," Setsuna answered as she glanced over at
the boy fuming on a nearby log.
"Once," he said, "in passing. Don't feel bad if you don't
remember : there was a lot going on at the time. At the Hikawa Jinja,
last week?"
"Only a week?" Setsuna blinked. "I thought I would have been
It surprised me, too. There has been so many adventures (and chapters) since
then that I felt Setsuna had been vanished for more than a year.
banished for at least a year. Time passes strangely when one
...is having wild, passionate sex with her lost husband."
Sorry, I just had to say it. ^_^
isn't
actually existing in it." Her exotic red eyes downcast, the woman
slowly sat on the log next to Jun and rested her back against the
crumpled side panel of what was once Nasuti's jeep. "Do you need any
help with her, Naaza?"
"Well, let's see." Naaza carefully cradled Nasuti's head
against his shoulder as he lifted her in his arms. "It's a pretty
long walk to anywhere from here, and our ride seems a bit..." he
He (as he's not glancing the dialogue, he's just glancing)
glanced at the crumpled pile of metal. "Out of shape. Would you mind
giving us a lift?"
<I LOVE MY SCISSORS!>
With little warning, the door suddenly opened and Hotaru Tomoe
stepped into the kitchen. Her purple eyes went wide as, with little
ceremony, she launched herself across the room and latched around her
adoptive parent's waist. "Setsuna! Where have you been? Everybody's
been really worried about you!"
With a kindly smile, Setsuna stroked the young girl's raven
hair
Which means Hotaru ISN'T a brunette, ne? ^_~
See? I remember EVERYTHING you say.
and kissed the top of her head. "I had to go away for a little
while, Hotaru. There was something important I needed to do." Leaving
the rest unsaid, Setsuna gently pried the Hotaru free and looked her
in the eye. "Why aren't you in school, little one?"
<SNIP>
Setsuna made a sour face as she glanced in the direction Jun
was staring. "What a coincidence," she said acidly, "I thought I felt
my strings being pulled."
So she's admitting to being a puppet?
"You flatter me." Leaning against the doorframe, Rajura winked
and took a sip from his cup of tea. "Oh, Anubis?" he called, looking
over his shoulder. "Get in here! Things have just become a trifle more
interesting." Facing Setsuna and Naaza once more, the silver-haired
Masho of Deception smiled gently. "I think," he said to Setsuna, "you
want young Hotaru to leave the room. And I think you want her to take
the woman and the brat with her."
Setsuna slowly stood up, her long green hair tumbling behind
her like an emerald cloak. "Hotaru," she said, softly yet firmly, "do
as he says. Take Jun and Nasuti into the living room, and I'll be with
you in a little bit."
"But, Setsuna! I could help, or-"
"Go, Hotaru. That's not a request." The tone of Setsuna's voice
became far less soft, and far more firm. Hotaru began to open her
"Oh, yeah," drawled Hotaru. "Well, eat this! DEATH... REBORN... REVOLUTION!"
If I were Hotaru, that's what I'd do.
Not that I'd want to be a magical girl. I look awful in a sailor fuku... I
mean, I _would_ look, as I never wore one before. Really.
<SNIP>
"Now, now, Rajura." Sailor Pluto slowly walked out of the
shadows surrounding the nearby trees, clutching her Time Key to her
chest protectively. "You should know better than to trust your eye."
"Very good," Anubis noted clinically, "I only heard you coming
a few minutes before you got here."
...clinically. "I...
"If I come with you," Setsuna said to the three men, "there are
going to be certain conditions."
"First," a familiar voice said from the shadows, "we get to
come on this little ride, too."
"I only heard them," Anubis added, as three feminine figures
followed Setsuna out of the shadows, "a few minutes before I heard
Setsuna. Greetings once again, Outer Senshi."
"You know," Naaza said in a miffed tone as he looked between
Anubis and Rajura, "at least ONE of you could PRETEND to be surprised.
It would really make me feel better."
Sailor Pluto turned to the three other Senshi. "Absolutely
not," she said adamantly. "Never, nien, ixnay on the 'yes' part. No."
"Sorry," Haruka answered with a shrug, "but there's no way we
let you run off with these guys and have all the fun AGAIN. If you go,
we go. Or
...I throw a Death, Reborn, Revolution, and...
nobody goes."
Sorry about that, but I love that attack, and I hardly saw it in a fic.
Okay, it may destroy the whole world, but it's cool, anyway. You think you
could use one somewhere in this fic? It's make a loyal reader ver happy...
^_^
Michiru nodded, resolute. "That's the way it works, Setsuna.
We're not sending you off into an alien dimension without somebody we
trust watching your back. And the only people we trust to do that is
us."
<MINI-SNIP>
"WAIT! WAIT!" Crashing through the bushes, Jun Yamano burst
onto the paved path, dragging Nasuti Yagyu by one hand. "We're coming,
too! We can help!"
ANUBIS: I only heard you a couple of hours before I heard Setsuna. Good
work, sucker!
"Oh, ye gods," Rajura muttered, "it's the woman and the brat
again. Can't we spray for pests like them?"
"Nasuti knows more about the Dark Kingdom and the Dynasty
than anybody!" Jun's chest swelled slightly as he placed one hand on
the woman's shoulder. "And she can probably figure out what you're up
against, too!"
I notice he's not saying WHAT he can do, the useless weakling. ^_^
As we're on it, I just wanted to say something about the Jun-Hotaru happy
couple. K'thardin said in his comments that, if Jun didn't get some powers
so he could fight by Hotaru's side, their relationship was doomed to fail
(these weren's his exact words, but I really don't have time to reply
directly to his mail. Sorry). Well, I disagree. How is it that a powerful
man/weak woman couple works (there're plentiful examples of this out there),
but it doesn't the other way around?
And what if Jun's left behind? I'm sure the Yoroiden didn't ALWAYS take him
with them.
Besides, with all the Senshi, the Yoroiden AND the Masho (as Nasuti'll
probably end up with Naaza) looking after him, that boy is gonna be very
difficult to kill. ^_^
"Can we take her? Can we?" Naaza clasped his hands together
and looked pleadingly at the other two Masho. "I swear, I'll clean my
room, and feed the giant octopus, and I'll even look after sedating
the Storm Senshi for a whole week!"
"She could be of use to us," Anubis whispered to Rajura. "So
far, this 'Pedri' and his people have had a distinct advantage, simply
because we know so little about them. Perhaps the Yagyu woman can help
us, the way she helped the Samurai Troopers against Arago. What do you
think?"
"Wait a minute!" Nasuti lifted her hands defensively. "I never
said anything about wanting to come! I've learned my lesson quite well,
thank you very much : I happen to be allergic to danger, fear, and
Um, this colon doesn't look right. I'd change it for a period, as that she
happens to be allergic, etc, etc, ISN'T the lesson she learned.
pain. So... no. Thank you for thinking of me, but NO." Nasuti looked
from one face to the other, hoping to find a shred of understanding.
Finding instead only blank stares, she decided to try again. "I have
bad luck with youja and such, you see. I prefer to avoid them whenever
possible."
<SNIPPETY-SNIP>
"So you're coming, then?"
"Of COURSE I'm coming!" Nasuti stopped and blinked. "Wait a
minute... I didn't... I mean... I'm..." Confused, she stopped and
stared off into space for a second. Unnoticed by her, both a large
glowing gate and Yamanouchi Naotoki were rising behind her.
Heh. This was a typical Ranma-reaction. Wonder if they're related somehow.
Another spamfic begging not to be written...
"All aboard!" Naaza crowed, and grabbed Nasuti by the back of
her jacket. In a single smooth motion, he hauled her over his head and
tossed her straight through the gate. There was a cut-off shriek, a
flash of light, and then she was gone.
Ah, Naaza... I think you were meant to "CARRY" her over the threshold, not
"throw".
"You heard Naaza! The gate closes in a matter of seconds!"
Feet pounding in the cement, Anubis and Rajura pushed past Naaza. As
they passed, each caught the grinning Snake Masho under one arm and
hauled him along with them as they entered the gate and vanished into
the swirling lights contained within.
"Last chance," Haruka said to Setsuna, as the two Senshi
approached the gate. A wind seemed to blast from the glowing opening,
ruffling their hair and pushing against them as they walked closer.
"Why are you two TAKING so long?" Jun raced by as fast as his
legs would carry him, jumping into the gate just as Hotaru reached
out to stop him.
Oh, sure, you're soooo brave. Let's see how fast you enter the gate if you
don't have the Senshi AND the Masho with you.
"He shouldn't have gone," Hotaru said sadly to Michiru. "He'll
get hurt, or worse! We have to make sure he's all right!" Holding
Michiru by the hand, Sailor Saturn began walking towards the gate. With
a shrug, Michiru extended her other hand and Haruka caught it. Setsuna
grabbed Haruka by the wrist, and the four Outer Senshi entered the
gate together.
With a loud rumble, the gate slowly retracted into the ground,
a small cloud of mist the only sign it had ever been. In the distance,
a thrush warbled to itself, and the first rays of sunshine began to
penetrate through the clouds that had been covering it all day. In
Tokyo, at least, it seemed the storm was over.
Oooo, just the perfect cliff-hanger, you meanie! ^_^
TO BE CONTINUED...
Please.
As always, I've seen myself unable to make many comments. Grammar, spelling;
both nearly perfect. Characterization, awesome. Dialogue, funny and smooth.
Action, exciting and well-paced.
Lesee... What else can I say to inflate Morgan's ego? ^_~
Y'know, I can't help but wonder what there was the deal with Setsuna's left
wrist, but I guess you'll let us know soon enough.
Listen, fellow FFMLers! This is a series you MUST read, even if you hate
Sailor Moon, even if you don't know a thing about Yoroiden Samurai Trooper.
You have no idea what you're missing...
Well, this is it for me.
See you soon, Morgan, and keep writing!
Latin_D