Blame A-kun and co. for putting this idea in my head.
SCENE: A small family farm in the midwestern United States. Cows graze
peacefully in the background, birds are singing in the trees. In front of
the farm house, a man (Farmer John) is begging and pleading with his adult
son as an attractive woman and her oversized companion look on.
FARMER JOHN: Aw, y'all gotta help me! I ain't got the money for the mortgage
on the farm, since my son (who used ta be a good boy, he really did, 'till
he fell inta that there 'bad crowd' and started gamblin' on cockfights) lost
it all bettin' on a Rhode Island Red! Cain't y'all show him the error of his
ways with the healin' power o' God's love?
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: Certainly.
OVERLARGE COMPANION: (Leans forward and grasps the son firmly. A white light
streams down from above, spotlighting her and the boy, as 'Ode to Joy'
crashes in the background. With a quick flex of her fist, the gambling
addict's head pops off like a dandelion's, blood spraying.)
ATTRACTIVE WOMAN: There. No more worries about his gambling addiction. NERV
will, of course, reimburse you for your unfortunate loss. Will 7000$ be
sufficient for this month's mortgage payment?
THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS! PREMIERING THIS FALL ON CBS!!! TOUCHED BY AN EVA!!!!
*******************
Okay, you can kill me now.
Dave Menard
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Fanfiction pages: http://spghome.tripod.com/
"Just as there are laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, so there are
in fact Laws of Conservation of Pain and Joy. Neither can ever be created or
destroyed.
But one can be converted into the other."
-Spider Robinson, 1977