Third Labor: (prologue)
Chapter 10 "Ghost Riders In Disguise"
Disclaimer: y'all know this here stuff, that Takahashi owns
Ranma and cast. That fella Skysaber wrote some of his parts,
and that previous chapters can be found at
http://www.fanfiction.net and that all this here writer's
tryin' to do is provide some free reads for y'all with
things that ain't quite so fenced in. So set right back,
take a load off yer feet, as we take a quick visit down ta
the Ranch...
---------
Akane had passed out as soon as the spell had finished, and
currently lay on a futon.
"Her hair turning white is temporary, an effect from
channelling too much power." Jared shook his head. "She
strained every resource she had."
"Akane no baka..." Nabiki muttered.
"She thought it *that* important," Jared mentioned, putting
a hand companionably on Nabiki's shoulder. The middle Tendo
was obviously having some trouble rearranging her priorities
and dealing with the emotional rollercoaster her life had
recently become.
"So, son," Soun had left the unlit cigarette in his mouth.
Knowing how Akane had been dead set against that habit, he'd
been cutting back. As much as he could, which wasn't as much
as Akane had wanted. "Which of my daughters will you marry?"
"Akane..."
EVERYONE (except for the passed out Akane) stared at Ranma.
"Huh?!" was the general consensus.
Akane merely frowned in her sleep.
Jared went from staring to trying to suppress snickering.
Elves do not snicker. They have more dignity than that. So
Jared rolling around on the ground, making noises that
sounded like suppressed laughter so hard he was shaking,
well that must be something else altogether.
"Oh my," breathed Kasumi. Akane had been MOST upset when the
subject had come up earlier. Something to the effect of
finding a nice jungle and living on a diet of bugs the rest
of her life being preferable to marrying a guy. That in a
choice between fulfilling 'wifely duties' and diving naked
into a pool of pirahna, she'd choose to go swimming. She had
been quite vocal on that.
"Interesting," said Nabiki, shoving aside the beating her
self esteem was getting again. "Why?"
"Well, uhm," said Ranma, fidgeting. "She's got this smile.
And she's a good cook. She obviously knows martial arts,
particularly that ranching stuff. And, well.... her wrists
are really tiny."
"HUH?!" Astonishment was no longer sufficient. Boggling was
necessary. Jared wondered, not for the first time, what kind
of skewed value system Genma had inflicted on Ranma.
Akane, unconcerned due to sleeping through this revelation,
merely began snoring.
--------
Jared took the furo, changing to "Sherry" when rinsing off,
and stopping with the rinse bucket still over her head when
she heard the gasp. ~Well, so much for THAT secret. Unless I
use the Xi Fang Gao Shiatsu technique.~
A little storage closet that wasn't in all the Ranma
timelines and was too small to be considered for a normal
person had a door that was slightly ajar.
Sherry locked the door in place, satisfied by the pained
yelp from within. "Nabiki, Nabiki, Nabiki. WHAT am I going
to do with you?"
"...what makes you think this isn't Kasumi?" Nabiki's voice
came from the tiny little cube.
"She's giving Akane a makeover while Akane's unconscious.
Yoga training, eh?" Sherry settled back into the furo,
becoming Jared again as the hot water triggered the change.
"That closet's barely big enough for an eight year old."
"After seeing Mister Saotome (ouch) change during dinner,
(eeek) my curiosity was aroused," admitted Nabiki. "You got
evasive when I asked about curses. Figured... (uhmf) that if
it were *that* bad, (aiiii) I needed to find (erk) out...
Can I come out now?"
Jared considered the ceiling. "No."
"Aw, come on! You'd have done it too if YOU had strange
people (erk) keeping secrets, (aggh) living in your home.
(uh oh) Especially with Akane acting so crazy! (ahhhh!) and
you know what's going on with her too!"
Jared blinked. Admittedly those *were* good reasons. "What
makes you think I know?"
"You're that KAMI that showed up! Voice and inflection's the
same. Akane's reaction to that statement you made, that
comment about the hair! (ahhhhh!)" The door to the storage
chest creaked as pressure was put against it.
Jared brightened and reached for his pack, carried with him
because he didn't want to deal with the effects of a certain
panda finding things. Besides with his chi this low, doing
the stuffspace techniques were tricky. THIS was a way of
keeping Nabiki out of his hair until he could think more
about it.
"My arms and legs are asleep, my back's cramping, and
I'm..."
Jared wrapped a towel around himself, preparatory to
removing the "Porta Wall" blocking the chest's door. What
was the command phrase? Oh yes.
"Pokeball Go!"
---------
Maerklos Trading Coster, City Of Waterdeep, Toril:
"Hey, straw-boss, y'got someone waiting in the lobby fer
ye!"
Rigel Maerklos sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose,
using the other hand to push away the ledger. "Well, truth
be told, I could use the break. There are times when going
back into dungeon-delving seems like less torture."
"Y'might wanna do that scan-thingie before ye get there,
y'honor. Somethin' not right about her." The man waggled his
fingers in what was intended to look like a magical gesture.
Rigel considered the old laborer for a moment, recognizing
him as Stander - a fairly reliable if simple fellow. "It's
considered impolite to mindscan someone without permission.
And it's psionics, not magic."
"As y'honor says," Stander said, bowing and leaving the
office.
The young businessman groaned again, stretching joints as he
got up off the hard wooden chair. It wasn't as if many
people understood the difference. His family did. A family
of traders and entrepeuners specializing in all things
magical. Magic and money sung in his blood, though he was
the fourth son of the family and not nearly an heir. More so
because he was a disappointment to the Maerklos line -
someone who couldn't cast a spell if his life depended on
it.
On the other hand, at the moment of his birth, a whole *lot*
of mages and clerics heard his birth cry - from miles away
and through all sorts of barriers. Because he was not a mage
and that baby had not used a spell.
No, he was what they called a psionicist, a Truthseer. Or
Mindbender. A Telepath.
During his brief career adventuring, at the behest of an
uncle who had thought it would make a real man out of him,
Rigel had learned to use Telepathy, a shortsword, and a hand
crossbow with some precision. Also the odd gift of
Psychometabolism - though it was his telepathic abilities
that remained his main strength.
Getting up to where he could glance into the lobby brought a
frown. As well as some concern.
*Wisp, are you there?* Rigel Sent. Minds that he was used to
contacting, that he was quite familiar with, he could link
to with hardly any effort. A Telepath's familiars were
completely different from the ones a wizard had.
The reply was distant but the mental tone warm. *Rigel?! Ah,
ye nae would believe the nonsense tha' the Mistress...*
*Not now, my love.* Rigel braced against the flood of warmth
and confusion that surged back through the link. It didn't
take much imagination to picture her turning pink and
stammering. *Do you see through my eyes? Any clue to the
woman's identity?*
*Ne'er seen her before, though she be lookin' familiar.*
Wisp's mental voice grew thoughtful. *Ye best not be looking
to be gettin' _too_ friendly wit' the lass, boyo!*
*She looks powerful. Bet she's got Blackwands' attention and
is registering on magic detectors across the city. I hope
this isn't another adventure. I can talk to horses fine,
it's riding them that really makes me uncomfortable.*
There was a flash of alarm through the link, and Rigel knew
that his short but feisty girlfriend would be showing up on
his doorstep within minutes.
Deciding he'd waited too long, Rigel sent a snippet of
thought towards his moorhound and walked up to the woman.
Champ was a lean fast hound who looked big and intimidating.
Using telepathy to train Champ had also bolstered the dog's
intelligence.
"Now, Miss, how can I help you?"
Red eyes regarded his own briefly. "You are not he. I have
wasted my time here."
"Huh?!" Rigel didn't usually put across befuddled but it
took him a moment to come up with a rational framework for
that comment. "Oh, bounty hunter?"
"Something like that." Setsuna replied. She didn't go into
details about investigating timelines to see if Grey had
merged with one of his Analogues.
She also didn't realize she had broadcast enough of that for
Rigel to catch it.
An old hand saw a flash of black and white and managed to
open the door before Wisp could make a dramatic enterance.
The dimunitive (4'10") elf girl in the dark armor was ready
for a fight. "Okay, where is she? Where's this girl who's
planning on taking MY RIGEE on some adventure?"
There was some snickering at this. Wispara Deneuna was tiny
by many standards, but acted generally like she was some
massive amazon.
But of Setsuna Meiou there was no sign.
---------
When Akane woke up, she *knew* there was something nobody
was telling her. *What* was uncertain and she was still too
drained to cast spells. There was something *more* alarming
upon first awakening to occupy Akane's attention.
Kasumi had dyed Akane's hair during the night, as the white
hair had been simply horrible in Kasumi's estimation. And
one thing had led to another... and she just *couldn't*
leave a job half done, could she?
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Akane looked up as the door burst open, bringing a panda,
Jared, a sister, and Ranma-chan (THAT secret hadn't lasted
long, just long enough for a panda to throw a certain boy in
the fishpond) to observe...
Akane. Trying to hide in her bedclothes.
Jared, seeing the results and almost falling down. Not
laughing. Nope. Not at all.
"Go away..." came Akane's mumbled voice.
"Akane, are you all right?"
"Kasumi. i'll get even with you for this. i'm not sure how.
i'm not sure when. But i'll find a way."
Kasumi blinked, not used to being threatened. Nor seeing
why.
"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad," said Jared, whipping
the bedclothes away from the huddled mound.
Kasumi was still going ahead with trying to enforce Akane's
femininity. It showed.
Jared blinked and stared, then turned away and stumbled down
the stairs. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..." Followed by the sound of
someone falling the rest of the way down the stairs, then
landing on the floor with a loud bonk and continued sounds
of mirth.
Ranma blinked and stared, then collapsed from nosebleed in a
display that would have done Ryouga right proud.
Akane eeeped and tried to cover herself.
Kasumi had started with dying her sister's hair back to
black. It hadn't quite worked, for whatever reason. Akane's
hair was currently black with violet highlights. She'd then
decided that Akane would look better with a little lipstick.
Lipliner. Mascara. Eyeliner. A little blush. Manicure. Pink
heart earrings. A black choker. A black teddy. Black lace
stockings. Little silvery anklet in place to further offset
the silk.
"But, Akane, you look so cute like that," Kasumi opined.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" A fresh peal of laughter from downstairs.
Akane looked like she was about ready to cry. Or go on a
homicidal rampage. Or relocate to a rainforest somewhere. Or
join a Tibetan monastery that didn't require her father's
permission. The little bells on her anklet chimed as she
moved. She considered fainting but that might just encourage
Kasumi further. "Uhm. Excuse me, but... if everyone would
leave. i REALLY need to change."
When everyone had finally left, Akane realized they'd left
Ranma. So she started dragging him off to his room.
Unfortunately, he woke up, got another eyeful, and passed
out with another nosebleed.
Of course, if Akane had realized that she'd been engaged to
Ranma, she might have just settled for throwing him out the
window.
And then moving to aforementioned monastery.
----------
It had taken Kasumi quite a bit of time to do that makeover
on Akane. Especially when she'd discovered that Akane had
apparently not been shaving and had rectified that
oversight.
Akane had scrubbed and otherwise done her best to remove it
within fifteen minutes, but traces remained and Akane was
trying to overcome a mood that was at least foul if not
downright ornery.
Kasumi, of course, still had no clue.
"By the way, where's Nabiki?" Akane finally asked, in
between periods of sulking interspersed with periods of
glaring at a befuddled Kasumi.
Jared's eyes popped. "Uhm... I think I hear her!"
Akane blinked as Jared ran off to the side.
*SHOOM!*
"It's about time you... AHHHHH!" Nabiki's voice. Sounded
startled.
"We'll fix it later. We've got school soon." Jared, sounding
slightly amused.
Nabiki stalked in, flopping down at her accustomed space at
the table. Then moving to get her tail out of the way.
Akane cleared her throat and spoke in Elvish. "That was a
Pokeball?"
Jared raised an eyebrow and responded in the same language.
"You've got an idea why it did that?"
Akane nodded. "Sounds like data wasn't cleared from the last
use. Don't forget Raphael built those fake units. Her
pattern was corrupted, resulting in catgirl Nabi-Nuku."
"Brings back memories?" Jared asked, trying to ignore the
similarities between miso soup and warm salty spit.
"No... should it? On second thought, i probably don't want
to know." Akane shifted back to Japanese. "i know a way to
remove that curse Nabiki. Look on the bright side, other
than your tail and those fangs, you look normal. Oh, and you
might want to sheathe those claws."
Nabiki looked at the clawmarks she'd left on the table and
whimpered.
Akane frowned for a moment and pulled a small glass and wire
brooch out of a pocket. "It might be easier to conceal
it..."
Jared looked at the primitive work. "Spelltrap?"
"It'll hold the invocation long enough- about eight hours if
i do this right. i'm pretty drained, but this much i can
do..." Akane switched back to Elvish briefly. "Dragons can
recover fairly quick, but it'll take me quite a period of
sleep. And i don't trust Kasumi any more if i'm comatose."
"Understood," said Jared, considering for the first time in
his life making a Scroll of Protection From Kasumi, then
privately boggling that anyone should even have need to
consider it.
Akane let out a long breath and held her hands over the
bauble, the now-familiar stance stilling the other Tendos as
they watched.
"Cloak Of Belonging gather around,
Masking now her sight and sound,
So that by danger she's not found."
Akane handed the brooch to Nabiki and promptly fainted, her
head making a large thunk as it impacted the dining room
table.
"She'll be okay," Jared said, recognizing spell fatigue.
"Nabiki, if you pin that brooch on, people won't notice the
tail or ears."
Nabiki snatched the brooch with speed beyond what she
normally possessed.
---------
Nabiki (on Akane's horse, right behind her sister), Ranma
(still not trusting the mare he was riding), and Jared (on a
dang *big* horse) were riding to school. This, in and of
itself, was sufficiently different from most universes to
stand out. However, an added element was from Akane trying
to cheer herself up.
They were singing.
And actually sounded good together. Even Nabiki, to her own
surprise and delight.
The choice of song was a strange one to be sure, but it was
at least one that Jared knew. That was why Akane had chosen
it. Well, that and it looked like a storm was coming.
Akane began, her clear soprano ringing out across the
streets.
"An old cowpoke went riding out one hot and windy day,
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way,
When all at once a mighty herd of red-eyed cows he saw,
A plowin' through the ragged skies, and up the cloudy
draw."
"Yip-i-kai-ay, Yip-i-kai-yooo, Ghost riders in the sky!"
Jared Saotome took the next part, a fine tenor that made a
nice contrast to Akane's voice.
"Their brands were still on fire and their hoofs were made
of steel.
Their horns were black and shiny and their hot breath he
could feel.
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through
the sky.
For as he saw the riders comin hard, he could hear their
mournful cry."
Akane nudged Nabiki who started out reluctantly as they
chorused.
"Yip-ii-kai-yaaay, Yip-i-kai-yoooo, Ghost riders in the
sky..."
Jared *and* Akane sang the next verse.
"Their faces were gaunt, their eyes were blurred,
Their shirts all soaked with sweat,
They're riding hard to catch that herd, but they ain't
caught him yet.
They've got to ride forevermore on the range up in the sky,
On horses snorting fire... and as they ride, I hear them
cry."
Ranma reluctantly joined the chorus with the rest this time.
"Yip-ii-kai-yaaay, Yip-i-kai-yoooo, Ghost riders in the
sky..."
Nabiki read the paper Akane handed her, only stumbling once
as she sung. Oddly enough, because the verse seemed to
concern HER and her recently developed fears.
"And as the riders loped on by he heard one call his name,
If you want to save your soul from Hell a ridin on the
range,
Then cowboy better change your ways or with us you will
ride,
Trying to catch the devil's herd... across the endless
skies."
"Yip-ii-kai-yaaay, Yip-i-kai-yoooo, Ghost riders in the
sky..."
There was much staring as the three horses and riders pulled
into the schoolyard.
"Fess, y'all get Ranma's horse to the Ranch, y'hear?"
*SHOOOM!* Jared held out a Pokeball and returned Wildhorn to
storage.
Ranma looked around. "Hey! Where's Nabiki?"
Jared grimaced, fished out the Pokeball for Wildhorn,
returned him, then released Nabiki from HER Pokeball.
Nabiki staggered a bit. "Please don't do that."
"Could be worse," pointed out Jared.
"Meow," said Nabiki, her ears flattening.
Jared made a note to throw Nabiki a catnip mouse later and
see how she reacted.
"Hey, Akane, will you be making that dessert again?"
"It's called a dutch apple pie, Yuka." Akane smiled and
tipped her hat. "Sure, if y'all want some, i can whip up a
batch during home ec.
"They're not all avoiding you?" Jared was a little
surprised.
"Well, they're not happy with the lifestyle, and MOST are
keeping their distance," said Akane, "but since Akane's
grades in English, Home Ec, and Swimming went up they've
been slowly beginning to speak to me. *Especially* after i
started showing new recipes to the teacher that didn't have
the effects of the old Akane's cooking."
"Such as?" Ranma got a little closer. His fiancee was a
really good cook?
Akane shivered at some odd chill but nodded. "Firecracker
chicken, lemon chicken, did ya know that i can't find *any*
turkey 'round these parts? Found a crockpot and gimee a
couple days and i'll make a spaghetti sauce that'll knock
your socks off. Roast garlic potato soup. Dutch Apple pie.
Heck, they didn't even know how to make smores 'round here!
So's i showed the teacher i could make the dang sugar
cookies, then rustled me up a fine plate of grub that was
considered downright exotic by local standards. Teriyaki
beef. If ya crockpot the meat in water and diluted sauce for
a couple days, the meat gets all tender and the flavor cooks
all the way through - but ya knew that, right?"
Jared nodded. Ranma wondered what a crockpot was. Nabiki
looked thoughtful as she made her way to class.
They reached the classroom long before the bell rang.
---------
One of the thugs was tall and thin as a rail. "So, boss,
what we gonna do, what we gonna do?"
Black Bart twiddled his long thin moustache and grinned
evilly, his black cape fluttering in a breeze that hadn't
been there a moment ago. "Patience. Our revenge on Akane
Tendo will be accomplished soon. Everything must be in its
proper time and place."
The other thug was short and almost round. "Why not just hit
'em now?"
*BONK!*
Black Bart shrugged as he removed the gavel from the thug's
head. "Because, Okie. It's the Code Of The West." He noted
that his two subordinates had followed his lead, doffing
their hats and holding them over their hearts while looking
solemn. An errant beam of sunlight broke through the clouds
to bathe them.
Oklahoma nodded after a moment. California smiled. He loved
dramatic moments. That's why he was one of the Dozen
Thieves. Besides, it beat working at Quickie-Mart.
"If she don't sign me over the deed to her Ranch, or dojo,
we'll have to get..." Black Bart paused dramatically,
"...creative."
"Should we use the sawmill, the abandoned mine with the
explosives, staked out for the cattle stampede, or..."
California nodded his head towards the building nearby.
"Yes," said Black Bart, his teeth gleaming in a quick grin.
"That should do nicely."
The muffled figure of Sancho Pablo Juan Enrique Martinez
Esteban Villalobo III (also known as Oregon) came running
up. "Hey, there's a couple of guys applying for the town
drunk position!"
"Two?" Black Bart snickered. "Only one Town Drunk's needed.
What's the other going to try for, the Sherriff position?"
Everyone looked momentarily startled at the thought. That
WOULD be typical, wouldn't it?
"Well, we ought to go make the acquaintance of this hombre,
shouldn't we?" Black Bart tipped his hat back. "Let's mount
up, we gotta ride."
--------
Gosunkugi watched. There was his Akane. They'd not driven
her insane, he knew that.
No, he would save her. For he knew the TRUTH. One of his
spells had gone wrong. It had combined with the effects of
the Chem Club's pepper bomb and somehow had turned dear
sweet (though violent and monomaniacal) Akane into a...
whatever she was.
It had taken all of his money to afford it, and he'd even
sold some of his precious picture of the pre-bomb Akane to
help, but he had the ticket to bring back the old Akane.
And then she would be his.
--------
Sitting Pretty, a handsome woman in her late 30s, was the
defacto sensei of the Old West style of Martial Arts Indian
Wrestling. (Her husband, Chief Daikawa Bungo, had passed on
long ago while trying to master the legendary technique
"Ghost Dance" - unfortunately Bungo had two left feet...)
Her son, the almost terminally shy Plenty Bull, was the
designated Heir.
"Plenty Bull shall marry Akane," Sitting Pretty said,
passing the pipe to Soun who grabbed the tobacco product
with all the force of a deprived addict.
"...but she's already engaged to Ranma, the Houses must be
joined," said Soun in between greedy puffs.
"Do you not have other daughters who may fulfill this
pledge?" Sitting Pretty inquired, placing a few coins in a
single neat stack on the table.
"...Now, Soun, old buddy. You *do* have two daughters who
could do!" Genma eyed the coins greedily, though his drunken
blur made it a little difficult to count how many coins
there actually were in that pile. Or was it two piles. Damn
that "rotgut" was strong... what did they call it? Whiskey!
That was the strange term. Good stuff though.
"Unnnnn," said Plenty Bull, happy that things could be so
amicable.
"Yes, I suppose you're right, Saotome. Both of you." Soun
had only had half a bottle to Genma's two. His first jolt of
the stuff had numbed his throat and curled his moustache.
Then he'd made the mistake of coughing up little sprays of
the drink while leaning close to a candle. This nice lady
had informed him his moustache would grow back in a couple
of weeks. Still once she'd seen how crazy Akane was, Soun
was sure she'd drop it.
"Though seeing how popular Akane is, maybe you should make
it a contest. Winner gets Akane." Genma thought this was
clever. Ranma would win, Akane would be grateful about being
rescued from marrying Grunting Mountain or whatever his name
was, and the Houses would be joined!
Wyoming, one of the Dozen Thieves, used his "Dirty
Sidewinder" stealth manuever to leave his place of
concealment. The Boss needed to know about this!
-------
For absolutely no reason, Akane shivered. Must be a side
effect of the vitamins Kasumi insisted she take at every
meal.
"Something wrong, Akane?" Yuka asked, concerned. Akane
wasn't acting normal, but at least she was stable and not
suicidal. She'd decided a few days ago to try to be friends
with Akane again and see if she could help Akane recover
from her ordeal. Of course, she'd also discovered something
in that time.
"Just felt like something terrible is going to happen,"
Akane glanced towards the window. "You know, that feeling of
'looming impending doom' like..."
"Like when Kuno's getting up to give a speech?" Yuka
supplied playfully.
Akane actually smiled at that. "Yeah, something like that."
"So, how did you..." Sayuri gestured at the mountains of
pies, cakes, cookies, an orange glazed duck, and where a pot
of tea was now steaming on the oven.
"Martial Arts Cooking, a subdiscipline within Martial Arts
Housekeeping." Akane eyed the mound a little uncertainly
herself. "Guess i just started going on automatic and..."
"Something you learned in a previous life?" Yuka guessed.
"What is *that* supposed to mean?" Sayuri eyed her longtime
associate. If the madness was spreading was something
bizarre going to happen to HER now?
"I listened. Akane's made several references over the past
week to skills like that shrine priestess stuff that she's
picked up in 'previous lives' - when it all clicked." Yuka
nodded, watching Akane carefully. Akane *used* to be able to
do a decent "poker face" but since the bomb had become
*very* easy to read. And Akane had never lied, not to her
friends at any rate.
Akane looked back, uncertainty and a touch of fear there.
"So you know?"
Yuka nodded. "Hey, I may not be a juku student, but I'm not
an idiot. You have trouble remembering a lot of things Akane
used to know off the top of her head, but manage to do them
easier when you're distracted. What I want to know, is Akane
still in there?"
"Yes. i thought she was dead. Instead she's apparently in a
coma, late effects of the bomb, taking too many
antihistamines at once, and drowning in the bathtub." Akane
sighed, both glad that the secret was out and nervous about
this. Would she be shunned again now that someone knew? It
had been getting nicer, "Akane's" newfound skills at cooking
had been a draw, while the boys had largely still been
afraid that hitting on her (literally or figuratively) would
bring the suicidal Akane back.
Yuka nodded, having put together comments over several days.
"And you can't get out on your own?"
Akane's eyes widened. Was Yuka a telepath in this timeline?
Yuka nodded, "Akane's" expression giving answer enough.
"That's pretty much what I figured. Hmmm. What's this stuff
called?"
"Raspberry cupcakes... you're taking this awfully well."
Akane had expected screams, wooden stakes, crowds of
torchbearing Nerima citizens, any number of things. One of
Akane's friends nibbling on a cupcake was NOT something she
had anticipated.
"I've been watching you," said Yuka between munches, "we
share classes. I've been around that temple you've been
working at. Even that study session we had Friday. Akane
would never have been embarassed and refused to look at the
girls in the locker room. My goodness, I was wearing a
t-shirt when I tried to talk to you on Friday and you still
turned red and wouldn't even look in my direction. I have
trouble picturing a demon of some kind getting embarrassed
just because I was flashing my legs. Heck, even most guys
would have just enjoyed the view."
"...it wouldn't be right..." mumbled Akane, just the memory
causing a blush.
Sayuri finished freaking out. "I *missed* all that?"
Yuka preened. "Guess reading all those Encyclopedia Brown
novels finally paid off. But that does leave one mystery."
Akane blinked, impressed. "What's that?"
Yuka gestured. "What are you going to do with all this
food?"
----------
Jared blinked as the Junior Home Economics class just prior
to the Seniors lunch period brought out staggeringly huge
amounts of mainly Western style food.
"Looks like Akane's did it again," said Hiroshi to Daisuke
as he passed by the space near a tree that Jared had staked
out. That they were Juniors and should be in Tetsuhara's
Study Hall was ignored, at least by them.
"Damn, have you tried this 'Firecracker Chicken'?" Daisuke
responded, his voice muffled by the amount of food crammed
in there.
"Mrrrrrr?" Nabiki purred and rubbed her cheek against
Jared's chest. The experiment: "what would happen if
Nabi-neko were presented with a small amount of catnip" had
been irresistable. Jared scratched the catgirl in his lap
behind one ear and stroked her back with long even strokes,
and was rewarded by a rumbling noise that shouldn't have
been humanly possible. Well, that and a Prefectural Magical
Catgirl that was sort of bonelessly slumped across his lap.
True to the effects of the brooch and the "Cloak Of
Belonging" spell, people were commenting on Nabiki seeming
unusually affectionate or that Nabiki had *finally* found a
boyfriend and maybe now people didn't need to fear the
blackmail of the mercenary and heartless IceQueen anymore.
Jared spared a glance at the contentedly purring Nabiki as
she mewed and rubbed a cheek against his stomach. IceQueen?
What IceQueen? He didn't see any IceQueen here. No sign of a
heartless mercenary either...
"Well, isn't this something," commented Akane as she
approached with a tray full of...
"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou. Gimmee!" Jared could eat
rice, miso (shudder), and a number of other foods native to
the region. Being presented with the scents of four
quarter-pound cheeseburgers and a small mound of fries that
seemed awfully thick and coated with some powder. "You
*bake* French Fries?"
"With some spices, yes. Frying them gives you horrible
amounts of cholestorol. Besides, after an accident earlier
this year, Akane isn't allowed near the deep fryer." Akane
held a fish biscuit in front of her sister and waited for
the catgirl to take it. "Nice to see she's adapting."
"Catnip cures a *world* of feline ills," explained Jared.
"Almost looks like she's learned the Catfist. She's been
rubbing up against me. Scent glands in the forehead and
cheeks have marked me as her territory. Which is terribly In
Character for her, don't you think?"
"Yeah well, she's Nabiki. Just has feline mannerisms now.
Not too bad. She was going through a lot of angst and such
prior to this. Whereas she certainly looks happy with the
way things turned out. Oh, gotta get going. THEY think that
all this food would go to waste. i explained we have the
Seniors and Juniors. And that there's Ranma. Also that any
of the girls can strike up a conversation with the boy of
their choice by presenting them with some excess food."
Akane shrugged. "Speaking of which, i see Ranma. All i
should need to do is point him in the right direction."
Jared watched Akane go, ignoring as best he was able the
catgirl happily munching a fish shaped biscuit that was
still in his lap. Then his Elven hearing pricked as he heard
two girls talking.
"Yuka! How can you trust her? She's possessed Akane!"
"He. And..."
"HE?!" Sayuri covered her mouth as she realized how far that
had carried. "B-b-but..."
"Like I've said, I've been watching. She's really
uncomfortable being a girl. Doesn't like it at all. Just
going to the bathroom embarrasses her. Even a week later.
That's why I thought maybe it wasn't intentional."
"She... he... arghhh. IT possessed Akane by accident? How
the hell do you accidently possess someone?!"
"Sayuri, hush." Yuka held up a finger and looked smug and
the two started whispering in a lower voice that even Elven
hearing couldn't pick up without a spell.
"So someone else's figured it out," said Nabiki as she
stretched.
"You knew?" Jared raised an eyebrow. ~Trust Nabiki to put
together the pieces of a puzzle.~
"That's not the whole answer though. It's not just this
fellow, it's my sister in there too. Expressions, odd little
habits, body language. I never completely bought Kasumi's
explanation. And that girl couldn't conceal what she's
feeling if her life depended on it."
Jared nodded. "You feeling better now?"
"Better than I have in quite some time," Nabiki admitted as
she lazily flicked her tail. "Well, I'm going to class
before the bell rings. You coming?"
"Just a moment," Jared began munching in true Saotome
fashion. No point in letting food go to waste, after all.
---------
The classes had ended and school was at a close when four
youths were approached by a single other.
Jared shifted his balance slightly on seeing Tatewaki Kuno
on an intercept course. A good fight. Just what was needed.
"Is this true?! Akane Tendo, please tell this noble samurai
that the scurrilous rumors flying about are correct?"
Akane blinked. "Which rumors are those?"
"That you are once again interested in the male gender,
pursuing the correct sort of relationship for a beauteous
(if bizarre) young maid such as yourself." Kuno appeared to
be weeping in joy at the thought.
Akane blinked again. "*Where* did you get an idea like
that?"
"This engagement you have to this Ranma Saotome!" Kuno
turned to Ranma. "Ah, bless you, for bringing the fair
maiden back to the proper path!"
"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane spluttered.
"Well, uhm, thanks man." Ranma tugged at his pigtail and
looked embarassed.
"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane continued, her face turning pale as
she started twitching.
*Snort, chortle, snicker.* Jared's calm and dignified Elven
poise was in danger of crumbling away entirely. Not that he
was laughing. Nope-nope-nope.
"I approve. I approve most heartily," Kuno exclaimed.
"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane repeated, her face a mask of horror
and mind shut down from the shock and nausea.
"Aw, she's speechless," teased Nabiki, unable to resist.
"They make such a cute couple..."
"B-b-b-b-b-but..." Akane considered fainting. ~This can't be
happening. Please let this not be happening.~
A smoke bomb exploded. Nabiki hissed. Jared reached for his
Nerd Toy. Ranma coughed a lot.
"B-b-b-b-b-..." Akane's voice abruptly cut off.
As the smoke cleared, Black Bart twirled his moustache from
atop the school wall. "Nya ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Akane Tendo
Will Be Mine!"
"We'll see about that," Jared said, leaping to the chase.
After all, a villain needed pummelling. Just what he needed
after a truly boring class in Japanese History. Who the
blazes *cared* who Ieyasu's son's third mistress' grandchild
was?!
Ranma gradually stopped coughing.
"Daddy?" Nabiki and the crowd of Furinkan youths looked on
the man in a brown gi walking up with a panda.
"It's true," Soun said. "The agreement is that whoever
rescues Akane gets the Deed To Her Ranch as well as marries
Akane. Ranma, we're counting on you!" ~So much so that we've
got a priest on standby to perform a quick ceremony.~
"Hey, who says I want to get..." Ranma ate dirt as he was
suddenly being stepped on by a large crowd of youths who had
sampled her cooking. Besides, each knew in THEIR heart that
all Akane needed was someone like themselves in order to be
healed of her mental aberrations.
"So, Akane will marry whoever rescues her," said Gosunkugi.
First he'd get rid of the demon, then Akane would be HIS!
"Yes," agreed Soun a little uncertainly.
"Yeahhhhhhhh!" The crowd of boys raced out the gates. They
had no idea where to look, but little facts like that
couldn't stand in the way of love. Or lust. Or the true Hell
that was "Akane's" life.
--------------
Shan sped in and finally penetrated the blue-haired girl's
defensive fields.
Sakyo took the android's head in her hands, got a partial
download, then transferred data to Shan.
The Ifurita unit broke the hold and with a snarl turned to
destroy the Ukyo-clone.
Shan blew it apart with a small gesture. "That's four less
of the evil units."
Sakyo nodded with a happy noise. "Master will be *so*
pleased."
--------------
Ranma ran, not that he was really interested in getting
married. No, not at all. But Akane was HIS fiancee and he
wasn't gonna let any of those hentai touch her! "No way!"
Jared ran. There was a villain to beat severely on. JUST
what he needed. Akane? Well, Akane probably didn't need
rescuing. No doubt she had them right where she wanted them.
The problem was, where would Black Bart have taken Akane? Of
course, if he had known of Soun's proclamation, he might
have stayed at the school.
Tatewaki Kuno ran. Now that Akane was able to appreciate men
again, it was time for him to accept her adoration. For how
could she resist him now? And once he had captured the maid,
he had parental permission to wed her! "I'm coming my love!
Though all the forces of Hell may seek to bar me!"
Nabiki ran. Or it may be more correct to say that she leapt,
and ran, and climbed. She'd changed from her unflattering
and unpractical school uniform to a pair of tight shorts and
a tight shirt. She was also determining that there was a lot
of FUN to be had after her transformation. Making twenty
foot leaps, running at speeds well in excess of anything she
previously could have attained on a bicycle, these were all
a heady rush of power. Every so often she'd come to a stop,
sniff the air, and listen. Jared would be HER fiance. Or
maybe if she could get him over the Akane obsession, Ranma.
She HAD to rescue Akane before any of them or a hentai did
since she was about the only one out there to rescue her
sister that wouldn't end up marrying her.
Kasumi stuck close to the priest. Akane would be getting
married soon! And then there would be children, and Akane
would get over her little mental aberrations.
The priest asked for the fortieth time where the sake was.
Soun cried. His little girl was getting married! (Happy
tears!) His middle daughter was a catgirl! (Sad tears!) His
eldest daughter had hidden the sake! (Despairing tears!) His
old buddy had gotten the job as Town Drunk! (Envious tears!)
And Soun himself had gotten a job as a Saddletramp but
apparently it was only a few hours a week and didn't carry
nearly the benefits. (Ambivalent tears!)
The horde of hormone crazed boys were each convinced of a
single thing: only himself was allowed to approach the
beautiful and delicate (if insane and weird) Akane Tendo.
Each individual was convinced that he was capable of taming
that shrew, of returning her to normality, and that he alone
was capable of keeping up. Everyone knew that violent girls
were really really passionate in bed. Or at least that was
what Daisuke had said before his "accident". Each had an
image of the smiling bride beside him, and most had the idea
of screwing her brains out as a method of returning her to
normal. That this wouldn't work had absolutely no impact on
them, after all. They were teenagers.
Ryoga Hibiki scratched his head and wondered where the heck
he was and since when was there a desert in Japan?
Plenty Bull... well, he didn't run. He *couldn't* run. If he
wasn't darker skinned and hairier, he would have been
mistaken for some guy named Umibozu or "Falco" - he had
trouble fitting through doorways, and trying to get him
inside a little Japanese car was futile. So Plenty Bull
lumbered through the Ranch area, as quickly as a nine foot
tall, six foot wide, heavily muscled mix of Ainu and Amerind
(Comanche) boy could. He knew that Akane was just the sort
of girl he needed. Nice, cute, fairly intelligent... and she
was tough enough that if he hugged her she wouldn't go
squish. (Something that figured in his nightmares
regularly.) And while he was nearly terminally shy, Plenty
Bull was also the affectionate sort and could picture
lumbering off into the sunset with his wife (sitting on one
shoulder).
Chaos, by its nature, does not require a recipe. All one
needs are the ingredients, which were in place.
---------
"...Do you, Black Bart - Heir to Old West School Of Martial
Arts Villainry, swear on your larcenous and scoundralous
heart to take this here woman as your lawfully wedded wife.
To slap your brand on here filly. To have and hold her, to
dominate her in a proper manner, and to..."
"Yes, yes, I do and all that." Black Bart twiddled one end
of his moustache.
"And do you, Akane Tendo, take this scalliwag to be your
lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in sickness
and in health, to obey and follow his villainous orders, to
be loyal unto him above all others..."
*Ding Dong!*
More than a few wondered when the proprietor of the Acme
Warehouse had installed a doorbell.
The Dozen Thieves looked up from their ambush positions.
Standing behind the half built wall of barrels his station
would be concealed behind and where he was to man the trap
door lever, Wyoming leaned out and hissed. "Could be we got
a hero coming!"
Black Bart straighten up from where he'd been going over the
ceremony with the Justice of the Peace who was going to
hitch him and the damsel in distress. "Couldn't be." He
remarked, twirling his mustache for effect and glancing from
a clock to where half of his Dozen Thieves were still
assembling the Great and Triumphant Final Trap and Escape
Route where he and his new bride would be whisked away
simultaneous as the party of rescuers were dropped in a pit
of crocodiles. "It's still *far* too early. Have them wait
and come in later."
The door to the hideaway cracked open and a black, ten
gallon hat obscuring all features the scruffy beard didn't
poked in. "Scuse me, have I got the right place? I'm with
Masterminds Quarterly, and we're doing a survey of all of
the unrecognized geniuses in villainry." The hat (presumably
attached to a man, though it was hard to tell as with beard,
hat and chaps it was impossible even to tell what color
shirt he was wearing, or if he was wearing) moseyed on into
the hideout. "Are you Black Bart? Well, iffn you are yer in
luck, as you're the top of our list! Could you take a moment
out of your devious and poorly-recognized schemes to grant a
small interview for our readers?"
The master villain stroked his long mustache thoughtfully
while his damsel in distress struggled against her bonds.
"Mmrff!" Keeping in mind that she likely knew the Old West
Style of Martial Arts Special Manuever "Call In The Calvary"
or something similar, and that her strength was
considerable, she had first been wrapped in a thick rope
(using the Old West Villainry Rope Technique - Distressed
Damsel slipknot), then a set of chains, gagged, and finally
the whole mass had been tethered to a support beam.
The stranger pulled a list out of where hat met chaps.
"We've got a list here of all the stages worth holdin' up,
trains worth robbin', and cattle what needs rustling in your
area for the next year, as compensation iffn y'all is
interested. 'Course iffn you've got other tastes we can send
more'n a few lowbrow scoundrels who're lookin fer a good
leader yer way as henchfolk."
Black Bart tossed an elegant eyelash upward in a refined
gesture of villainy. "You wouldn't, by any chance, happen to
be here to rescue this maiden, would you?"
The black hat shook calmly back and forth. "Nope, and I
ain't lying neither." The hat was removed and held over the
heart to reveal a much shorter individual still hid behind a
beard and scruffy hair. "It'd be against The Code of The
West."
Several henchpeople held their hats over their hearts in a
similar gesture of respect to the phrase. Black Bart himself
touched his heart and looked skyward a moment, while Akane
still struggled and bounced by the spot she lay bound.
"'Sides," the ten gallon hat got replaced, again concealing
all trace of a head. "I see ya'll got a weddin' going on and
wouldn't want ta interrupt."
Black Bart nodded. "Yes, well, I've taken a fancy to the
young thing here. 'Sides it's proper villainry to take her
off to her honeymoon while the heroes are facing my
deathtraps."
Akane had stiffened in fright, and now resumed wildly
thrashing while the figure of Sancho Pablo Juan Enrique
Martinez Esteban Villalobo III (also known as Oregon) stood
nearby practicing a high-squeaky imitation of her voice
saying "I do."
The ten gallon hat over a pair of ridiculously high chaps
moseyed on over and sat on the maid in question, producing a
notebook and stylus. "So, like was sayin', ain't no way
*I'm* gunna rescue her. So why don't y'all tell me about
some o yer nepharious deeds?"
"Hey, boss?" California pointed out, shoving a finger in the
stranger's direction. "A piece of paper dropped out of his
pocket right where the girl can see it!"
"True enough." The stranger allowed, moving slightly so as
not to be suspect or in the way as Black Bart snagged the
offending slip of paper.
The villain read it and waved it about. "So what does,
'Spirit Ward, Yes or No' mean?" He glanced down and frowned
to see his victim still rapidly nodding.
The stranger was unmoved and stoic. "Left over from an
interview I had just yesterday with an evil necromancer.
Wanted to know if these here thangs would stop the undead
and what to do about 'em iffn they did. See these?" A slip
of paper was pulled out of that mystifying zone between hat
and chaps, then a hand smoothed the ward across its own hat
in the general vicinity of where a forehead should be. "Can
be a big problem with magical villains, heroes carryin 'em
everywhere they go and putting ta stop months of work. No
harm to 'em iffn ya got no curses er spells fer 'em ta
unravel. See?" The same hand slapped a second one onto
Oregon's face. "Y'all there have any mysterious need ta do
good er repent o yer wicked ways?"
Oregon frantically shook his head, and the stranger calmly
pulled the ward off again. "See? And they come right off as
well. Ain't no more harm to em than that is what I was
sayin', lest yer a necromancer."
"Evil Necromancer?" Black Bart grinned. "That wouldn't
happen to be Haiti Largo, would it?"
The hat nodded.
"Well, if'n you see 'im again, tell him old Bart says
howdy!" Black Bart tipped his hat, considerably more at ease
now. "That old voodoo hoodoo ain't done an honest lick a'
work in his life. An inspiration, he is."
The stranger stood up again and pocketed the notebook,
accidentally spilling half a hundred of the wards out of his
pocket in the process. "Ooops. Well, no one oughta notice
the mess. Look here, yer a busy villain and here I is
interrupting a good clean plot with mah ceaseless prattle.
I'll come back when y'all've got them heroes in the dungeon
and can tell me of yer success."
And with that, the stranger moseyed on out of their lives,
with the deed to Akane's ranch in his pocket. Akane was now
struggling frantically not to be noticed as she attempted to
wiggle so she could slam her head down onto one of those
wards.
Black Bart sighed deeply. "Oregon. Start sweeping up all
this trash. If there's one thing I can't abide, it's a
villainous lair that looks more like a pig sty."
*SHING!*
A single weapon slammed down from the shadows, cutting
through a loop of rope. Akane spit the gag out without
hesitation and called out a quick spell.
"Allies come ye to my side,
Now tis time to turn the tide!"
"Oregon, replace her gag," ordered Black Bart, then whirled
about as...
a calvary bugle could be heard in the distance.
Then a figure, masked and dressed entirely in black, dropped
from the rafters.
-----------
Jared sat back with a smirk, waiting for Akane to wander in
after having freed herself.
He *hadn't* expected this!
Akane was rather groggy and so the handsome bishonen started
explaining what had happened.
The young hero type (dressed in a similar manner to Zorro)
had come to the Ranch because of a letter sent by Akane last
week. He had followed a suspicious looking character to the
warehouse, then attacked when it was obvious that these were
indeed villains.
A fight had broken out while the Calvary rode in, and when
those worthies joined in it became a general brawl.
Especially as Plenty Bull, Tatewaki Kuno, and a number of
hentai boys had apparently also found the warehouse at that
time.
Apparently Akane had still been wrapped in ropes and chains
when a five hundred pound barrel of "Old Fireball" brand
whiskey had been knocked down onto her. It had travelled a
good twelve feet in its fall, with predictable results.
The damsel had found herself flattened and drenched in a
sort of "whiskey" that made a darn good paint remover. Then
she'd rolled, still encased in ropes and chains, into the
alligator infested pit. Many of said alligators having died
just from the fumes coming off Akane at that point.
"OoooOOOO. Gimmeee a Coney Island special, Ed. i'm having a
baaaaaad day," announced Akane.
Soun approached his daughter, and absent-mindedly lit a
cigarette.
*BOOOM!*
The Zorro bishonen stepped over to Akane and kindly patted
out the fire in her hair before everyone realized that the
priest was asking him a question.
The fellow blinked. "Yes?"
"In the power invested by me by the Japanese Government, I
now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride and
someone can show me where the sake is!"
Having placed the bishonen's voice, Jared twitched briefly.
"Uhm... would you excuse me?" *snicker* *snort*
"...what?!..." Zorro seemed befuddled.
"I'm counting on you to take care of my little girl!" Soun
clasped the dark-clad fellow's shoulders briefly.
"...b-b-b-b-but..." Zorro stammered.
"Oh my! How nice." Kasumi nodded. Now her sister would have
plenty of children. Seven or eight ought to do it.
"...b-b-b-but..." Zorro looked at Akane (still smouldering
and comatose) then helplessly around. "But I'm just here
because..."
"There's a problem with that," Jared pointed out, trying not
to laugh. "Can Akane marry another girl?"
Soun stopped cavorting. Kasumi's smile froze. Jared took one
look at Soun's face and had to excuse himself so he could go
have a good laugh.
"How'd you know?" Ukyo asked.
"...i'm sorry Mako-chan but in my last life i adopted you as
my daughter and it's difficult for me to think of you as a
girlfriend..."
Kasumi considered fainting. Soun began bawling about his
daughter being a pervert. Ukyo sweatdropped.
"Okay, I now pronounce *you* husband and wife."
"Stupid drunk priest! Does Shampoo *look* like anyone's
husband?"
"BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!" Jared fell over, having realized that
the inebriated priest had just married (still out of it)
Akane to both (in denial) Ukyo and (distinctly unhappy)
Shampoo.
Which was when Plenty Bull, Tatewaki Kuno, a hentai horde,
and Hikaru Gosunkugi arrived on the scene.
"There she is!" The horde descended on Akane, a pair of
hands (Tatewaki's) lifted the fair maid to safety.
*RRRRRIIIPPPPP! THUD!*
Tatewaki held Akane's schooldress in his hands where the
fabric had given way under way too many assaults lately.
Neither the bra or panties had fared well either, the
caustic solution of moonshine combined with shards of wood,
attacking alligators, and the sudden firebomb caused by the
remaining fumes of alcohol had taken their cumulative toll.
Twelve of the horde fainted dead away with massive
nosebleeds fountaining outward as they saw Akane lying on
the grass. Wearing a few cuts and bruises, some burns and
the bits of Kasumi's makeover that had not been removable
within that short timeframe. And with the disintegrating
pieces of what had once been lingerie lying nearby, many of
them were getting their first view of the human female
anatomy that was not found solely in a textbook or ecchi
magazine.
Tatewaki seemed to have become petrified.
Jared stuck his head up, then felt momentary nausea upon
seeing a naked Akane, then started laughing again when it
became apparent that nobody present really knew what to do.
"Errrr. Mouth to mouth?" One of the boys suggested, which
caused ANOTHER fight to develop as the decision as to who
would do this came to mind.
"Unnnnnn." Plenty Bull merely looked acutely embarassed and
pulled off his shirt to cover Akane with. He ignored the
attacks of the Blue Thunder among others. Heck, he'd gotten
worse from his mother when he had stolen a few cookies from
the jar.
"...if you have any feelings for me, you will not make me
eat sashimi..." Akane mumbled.
Soun went to Demon Head, but was knocked unconscious by a
flying Kuno. (Plenty Bull had finally decided that his knees
had taken enough beatings today.)
Hikaru Gosunkugi, unnoticed during all this, took the
opportunity. Also a long nail, a mallet, a straw doll and a
spirit ward.
*WHAM!*
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Akane shrieked, a spirit ward
slammed onto her forehead and a straw doll being nailed onto
her chest.
*WHAM!* Gosunkugi winced as he hammered the nail home. ~She
isn't supposed to be screaming is she?~
A silver winged shape erupted from Akane's forehead and was
lost to the sky in an eyeblink.
Akane continued to scream, having two inches of nail
imbedded in her chest, and being naked underneath a shirt
that hadn't been washed in at least a week. Having somehow
appeared here after just resting her eyes for a moment in
the furo.
Can you blame her?
-----------
Asgard:
"We've got a trace," Ami said, brushing hair out of her
eyes.
"Looks like he was there in that AK-RN line and now he's in
there. Got it!" Setsuna nodded. "Unfortunately, it appears
there was another problem. Looks like his identity is
submerged."
"Well, we can at least get a lock on. Now all we need to do
is figure out how to get him out." Celeste leaned back in
her chair. "This'll go a *lot* easier."
----------
Usagi shook her head. Something had suddenly caused her to
get this curious dislocation feeling.
"Usagi, Usagi... Come in, Usagi!"
Usagi noted idly that her watch was talking to her.
Remembering that it was a communicator watch, she finally
flipped it open, to see Ami's face on it. "Ami-chan?!" Usagi
looked from the Ami in the sidelines to the Ami in the
watch-face. "What the ?!"
"Usagi, please listen. You're in a dimension that's close to
your homeplane. Grey's also there but somehow he got
submerged in the identity of the one who's native to that
plane. I'm guessing that it is because of strong emotion or
strong drives in the native. You've awakened because he's
met you again anyway."
Usagi looked around. "I know this place. This is the
Tenkaibudokai. The 'World's Strongest Man' Competition. I've
fought here before. And this is... everything's a little
different."
"What can you tell me about your surroundings? It may be
important!"
Usagi nodded with an "unn" sound. "I'm at the Tenkai
platform, near the sidelines. The priests are replacing some
of the tiles out on the arena area."
"Got that. The Tenkai competition is a round robin fighting
competition, the winner from one fight going on to fighting
the winner of another match. Single combat. What else?"
"I remember this fight. Piccolo was ready to conquer the
world. I'd just been trained by Endymion and reunited with
my friends. Rei-chan had just beaten this cyborg guy named
Count Pai Pai. Then I got into some fight with a guy I
didn't know, but I beat him pretty easy and never did find
out why he was angry with me. It was... strange." Usagi
glanced up at Endymion's younger evil twin Piccolo.
"Hmmm. You're not in your own past, so you don't have to
worry about paradox."
"I wasn't," Usagi assured the other Ami, not having any idea
what a paradox was.
"Excuse me," an announcer beckoned to Usagi, "you're up
next, miss."
Usagi took her place at the end of the platform, the
angry-looking guy taking the other side.
Priests began playing their drums, a slow beat gradually
increasing in pace.
Usagi blinked. Was he actually growling?
"ANNOYING!" The boy said staring directly at her.
"Huh?" Usagi didn't understand it *this* time either. Things
were subtly different, the crowd and all, but some things
were going *exactly* how she remembered it.
"You are so bloody annoying!"
"Excuse me, what's your problem?" Usagi was aware she was
repeating herself from that previous time but wasn't sure
what else she could do.
"Forgetting me, forgetting your promise, you are *so
annoying!*"
Usagi blinked at that but started checking out the guy's
chi, instead of what she'd done the last time which had been
to ask if this guy knew her. It was stronger than she
expected, but there was a pattern there that looked like...
"GREY!"
"Is that someone else you've dumped?" The boy seemed to calm
for a moment. "And your promise?"
"What promise?" As soon as she saw the anger return,
doubled, Usagi knew she'd said the wrong thing.
There was muttering from the Kamesennin and Ami, with an
"Aha!" from Oolong as he figured something out.
"Oh well, no point in holding off," the announcer finally
declared. "In this corner... oh, hey, I wasn't finished!"
Grey launched himself across at Usagi, lashing out with a
rapid strike technique. Usagi, of course, dodged all of it.
"What are you so mad about?!" Usagi squealed. This was
*still* going exactly how she remembered it.
Grey threw a flying spinkick, reversed direction with an
elbow spike, then went back to using the rapid-strike
technique.
Usagi didn't bother to block. A normal person wouldn't have
been able to see all the punches heading her way. Usagi
dodged as if they were in slow motion. Of course, to her,
they were. Finally she had been cornered on one edge of the
stage, so she leapt and flipped over Grey, wondering why
this all had to go like the first time. In a minute she'd
tire of this, casually backhand him into the stands. Then
he'd vanish and she wouldn't see him again.
Again the boy came charging forward. "You annoying... fight
me if you won't keep your promise!"
"But I don't know what you're talking about," wailed Usagi,
dodging a knee strike, another barrage of rapid punches, an
attempted legsweep and a hand-spear thrust.
"GIRLS! You make promises you have no intention of keeping!
You just flirt with whoever you like and leave broken hearts
behind you!"
Usagi dodged a long series of chained roundhouse kicks,
flipped backwards and then to the side to avoid a flying
dragon stamp. "But... waitaminute! If you'd just *tell*
me..."
Rei from the sidelines was saying something about men who
couldn't take a hint and staying dumped. Lita pointed out
that it wasn't a problem any of *them* had had before.
"This seems more than the usual grudge match," said the
announcer, still holding the microphone.
"Can words explain ten *wasted* years? Can words heal ten
years I've waited for you to keep your promise?!" Grey
launched another long set of attacks that came within inches
of Usagi all the way.
Usagi leapt up, just as she had the last time, reaching the
same height she had during the last battle. "But I don't
understand!"
"Why do you torment me like this?!" Grey leapt up four
stories and flipped at the apex to intersect Usagi's course.
Again she dodged a long series of punches and kicks.
"But..." Usagi thought about it, and decided on a course of
action. They landed a few feet apart, Grey breathing hard
and absently wiping sweat off his forehead.
"And what of your desire to be a bride?" Grey snarled.
Usagi knew from the last time, but this time actively
decided to follow the pattern, as it had actually calmed him
momentarily during the original fight. "Rei! What's a
'bride'?!"
A large number of people, including her opponent, fell over
in shock.
"A bride means a girl who has been married," Rei shouted
from the sidelines.
"Oh, you mean like 'boyfriend-girlfriend' or something?"
Usagi nodded. "That's not so bad."
"No, not just that, it's more of a commitment!" Makoto
yelled, having shoved Rei out of the way. "A married couple
is committed to one another exclusively. They stay together,
support each other, raise a family." Makoto's eyes were
sparkling by the end of her speech.
"But what and why? And..."
"So... defeat me, and I'll tell you."
Usagi smiled. Finally events had diverged! Previously she
had said that she wouldn't marry some idiot guy like that
when she had her Mamo-chan! Her opponent had gotten even
angrier, launched an all out attack, and she'd launched him
into the stands. Now, answers!
Grey went into a modified cat stance, ready to block and
counterattack the moment Usagi made a move. Or so he
thought.
Usagi simply raised a thin thread of chi, and threw a punch
from fifteen feet away. The wind swept her opponent off his
feet and flung him off the stage. She crossed the
battlefield, crouched on the edge and regarded him as he got
up. "Are you okay?"
Grey rubbed his head. "Owie. Still, you're as good as you
were back then."
"So you'll tell me now?" Usagi was eager, this would get a
mystery of her own past resolved.
Rubbing his head and returning to irritated, the boy nodded.
"Tsue."
"TSUE!" Makoto, Minako, Rei, and Usagi exclaimed. Similar
exclamations were coming from Ami and the Kamesennin. "So
that's it!"
"Tsue?!" Usagi held her hand knee high, remembering the
little tool using prince she'd briefly known when they were
both kids. The son of the Ox King. "You're little
Tsue-chan?!"
Tsue reminded Usagi of riding Kinton cloud, how she'd
grabbed his crotch and exclaimed that as she'd thought, he
was a boy. And of later how she'd said they ought to get
together and that he was a lot of fun. And since he was
learning to cook, maybe she'd keep him around so he could
cook for her always...
"But that isn't what I meant!!" Usagi felt *very* guilty all
of a sudden. Had the Tsue in her world... but he must have,
and that meant... Oh dear.
"So you say now."
"It would have been criminal to make a promise like that
without intending to follow through," Usagi said, her
thoughts whirring.
"What? Criminal?" Tsue faltered. "Then, then, you really
didn't..."
"Well that being the case. Promises are important. So..."
Usagi thought for a moment more. She *had* really liked
Tsue. "So when's the wedding?"
"Aa?!" Tsue blinked... "you... YES!!"
As the two hugged and the audience cheered, the announcer
got the last word. "Everyone! A first! A first! This the
first time for a grudge to be settled like *this* here!"
----------
The air shimmered and Grey stepped out alongside Usagi.
Usagi briefly kissed his cheek, then ran off. Ami watched
curiously for a moment before Grey rejoined her.
"Where did Usagi go?" Ami asked finally.
"She realized that back in her homeworld, *her* Tsue may
still be waiting for her to fulfill a promise." Grey said,
his own eyes flicking to where the Sailorjin had exited.
"She has to go back and find out. To honor a pre-existing
promise if it is so..."
Ami nodded and wished Usagi well. "Where next?"
"Now i try to get on with that Third Labor. It shouldn't
take long." Grey sighed. This hadn't gone *nearly* the way
he wanted.
"Was that thunder?" Ami looked to the skies.
"Probably just Thor again," Grey grabbed his pack and
sauntered for the gate. "If i wait, i'm sure the gremlins
will muck this attempt up too."
===========
the scene with Rigel and Wisp was to establish what others
were doing during all this.
for the gamers:
Rigel Maerklos (hm, LN(G), hp 39, Psionicist 8, Telepathy
(primary), Psychometabolism (2ndry).) As a son of the noble
family Maerklos in Waterdeep, is expected to use his talents
to further the family causes before all. A disappointment to
many in his family due to the utter lack of skill with
magic. A fairly powerful telepath, however, is deemed useful
by the remainder of his family.
Wispara Deunana (ef, NG(L), hp 36, Fighter 6/Thief 7) once a
bitter and lonely outcast, who was the target of a mindlink
from Rigel when his adventuring group was surrounded by evil
drow. In a moment of mental contact, each found in the other
a soulmate. Wisp accompanied the group back to Waterdeep and
was immediately the center of a scandal. She is often
referred to as Rigel's shadow- so closely does she stick to
him. The scandal is largely the result of the interracial
nature of the pairing. Some of Rigel's family approve (his
Uncle Reim heartily approves and sees the two as a
reflection of a brief love he'd had in his youth) while
others such as his mother quite disapprove. Wispara doesn't
give a flying pig about her own family though the
priestesses of the Undercity (Eilestraee) seem divided on
this matter themselves. In both cases "racial purity" and
the subject of children figure heavily.
Akumakun was done by the same person as GeGeGe No Kitaro.
There is a definite resemblence between Komorineko (BatCat)
and Genma- in personality. Tarume (i think) is the pudgy
green thing with beagle ears and dozens of eyes, also
gullibility factor 9. Padju (?) is a big flying rutabaga
with windows. It's *not* a series i'd expect to come across
the pond. Despite one noted writer's comments, there were
*no* plans for Ranma to fall in Spring Of Drowned
Green-haired Winged Wind Princess. THAT would have
predictable and unimaginative - one might as well write
Akane + Ranma matchups.
Which curse to remove from Ranma? The votes were: Catfist 8,
Genma's Influence 6, Jusenkyo 2, Temple Theft 2.
Votes for when Grey gets into the timeline: 1640 AD - 6, 774
AD - 7, 100 AD - 3, 1500 BC - 3, 150,000 BC - 4, age of
dinosaurs - 4.
==========
-------------------------------
"Don't forget that for the acorn to
become the mighty oak, it starts with a
little nut that decides to stand its ground."
-Anonymous
metroanime@mindspring.com
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/