This is for those of you who've been worrying about the fates of Ranma's
fiancees. It's also my personal favorite chapter, as well as the longest
chapter of the story (almost twice as long as some of the shorter
chapters). C&C is appreciated as always!
Ranma � -- A Deadly Choice
Chapter 16: The Feuding Fianc�e Fiasco! There�s Only Room For One!
Akane tried to open her eyes, but the brightness forced them closed.
�Where am I?� she asked.
�Akane, you�re awake,� said a rather relieved-sounding voice. It
took Akane�s hazy brain a few seconds to recognize it.
�Ukkyo? Is that you?�
�Aiya! Akane awake now!� That was Shampoo.
�What happened?� asked Akane. �How did you all get here?�
�The same as you,� answered Ukkyo. �That demon kidnapped us.�
�Then, are we in some kind of dungeon?�
�Not exactly. Take a look.� Akane at last opened her eyes and looked
at her surroundings. She was lying on a grassy patch in the center of a
beautiful garden. Ukkyo and Shampoo sat to either side of her, and
Kodachi was sitting by herself beside an ornamental lake nearby. Beyond
the small clearing were various fruit and flower trees, a bird feeder,
and an array of winding paths that led to the other wonders the garden
had to offer its prisoners.
�Want some apples?� offered Shampoo. �Is safe to eat. We eat, and
not get sick.�
�I�m not really hungry,� declined Akane. �Why did the demon bring us
all here?�
�We don�t know,� said Ukkyo. �But maybe it�ll tell us, now that you�
re here. You�re the last one.�
�Last one?� asked Akane.
�Yes,� said the voice of the demon. �The last of those who lay claim
to Ranma�s heart.�
Akane leapt to her feet. �Show yourself!� she demanded.
�If you insist,� said the demon in Ranma�s voice. It appeared before
them, in its Ranma form. Kodachi had her arms around it in an instant.
�Ranma darling,� said Kodachi. �I thought I�d never see you again!�
�You may not,� said the demon. �Ranma only has enough room in his
heart for one of you.�
�We know that,� fumed Ukkyo. �Why did you bring us all here?�
�Because the time has come to see which one of you will be his
bride.�
�We try that before many times,� said Shampoo. �Still not decided.�
�It will be decided here,� the demon assured them. �This contest
will decide once and for all who is Ranma�s one true bride.�
�Contest?� asked Akane. �What contest?�
�The Ultimate Darkness Martial Arts Obstacle Course.�
�Ultimate Darkness Martial Arts?� asked Ukkyo.
�It�s the counterpart to the Anything-Goes style,� replied Akane. �I
don�t like the sound of this contest...�
�The contest is quite simple,� said the demon. �The first girl to
reach the goal is the winner and will become Ranma�s bride.�
�What happens to the others?� asked Akane.
The demon shrugged. �Most likely, they�ll not reach the goal at all
because they�ll be dead.�
�Dead?� said Ukkyo. �I don�t know about this. Why can�t we settle
this with a cooking contest?�
�Aiya! Shampoo like cooking contest!�
Akane growled. �All right, we�ll do the obstacle course!� The garden
vanished, and the girls found themselves standing before a large pit of
sharp spikes. Akane turned to find that the land in all other directions
faded to nothingness. The only way to advance was across the spikes.
�Have fun!� taunted the demon. �I�ll see exactly one of you at the
goal!�
�Ranma darling, you�ll wait for me there?� asked Kodachi as the
demon vanished.
�She doesn�t get it, does she?� Akane whispered to the others.
�I�m coming, Ranma darling!� shouted Kodachi, casually tossing a
large handful of rhythmic gymnastic clubs onto the spikes. Each club
balanced perfectly on a razor-sharp point, and Kodachi athletically
leapt across the path of clubs to reach the far side of the pit.
�Hey!� shouted Ukkyo. �I�m not going to let you get ahead of me!�
She quickly strapped a pair of mini-spatulas to her feet and charged
across the spikes.
�Shampoo come too!� Shampoo used her bonbori as stilts, balancing
the round balls perfectly on the points of the spikes to cross the pit.
�Wait for me!� shouted Akane. �No fair! Just because I don�t have
any tools...� She did a handstand and began to walk across the spikes on
her hands, grabbing the spikes around their girth to avoid being
impaled. �I�ll win this race yet!�
By the time Akane reached the far side, Kodachi had already began to
cross the alligator-infested lake beyond by leaping across the gators�
backs. Shampoo followed, with Ukkyo close behind. The alligators turned
to stare at Akane as she approached the lake shore. �Great, wake up now
that I need to cross!� She sighed and dove into the water, swimming
furiously past the reptiles. One came close enough to try to take a bite
out of her, but she pounded its snout closed, and the others backed off.
She reached the far shore not long after the others and began to
leap across the moving platforms that spanned the stream of lava beyond.
Her final jump caused her to nearly crash headlong into Kodachi, who had
stopped just past the lava and was watching Ukkyo and Shampoo begin to
ford the sea of knee-deep mud beyond. �How can I soil my delicate figure
so?� asked Kodachi.
�Stay here if you want,� said Akane. �I don�t care if you throw the
race.�
�Lose to the likes of you?� asked Kodachi, appalled. �Never!� She
and Akane both leapt into the mud and began to wade. The mud deepened as
they went until it was hip-deep, making movement all but impossible. By
the time they had caught up to the others, the mud was waist-deep, and
neither Shampoo nor Ukkyo was making any progress at all.
�What�s with all this mud?� asked Ukkyo. �I can�t move at all!�
�Oh no!� shouted Akane, as she felt the earth shift beneath her
feet. �We�re moving all right... down! We�re sinking! This isn�t mud! It
�s quicksand!�
�Aiya! How we escape?� asked Shampoo.
�Ranma darling!� shouted Kodachi. �No mere puddle will separate us,
I swear it!� She struggled to move her legs beneath the murky surface.
�Don�t struggle!� warned Akane. �You�ll only sink faster! We have to
think of a way to escape!�
�Well, I�m not going to sit around here,� said Ukkyo. �I�m getting
out now!� She threw a noodle lasso at the branch of a tree at the far
side of the pit and began to pull herself to safety.
�You vixen!� shouted Kodachi. �You shall not come between me and my
beloved!� She snared the branch with her ribbon and followed Ukkyo out
of the pit.
�I don�t suppose you have any tools that will get you to the
branch?� asked Akane.
Shampoo shook her head sadly. �No. Only bonbori.� With tears in her
eyes, Shampoo stared at the unattainable branch. �Shampoo no can
escape.�
Akane cringed as her chest began to descend into the cold mud. �Say,
I have an idea!� she said suddenly. �If we work together, we can get out
of here!�
�Help you get to Ranma? Shampoo rather die than do that!� As if to
illustrate her point, Shampoo crossed her arms, plunging them under the
surface.
�If we don�t work together, we�ll both die, and one of them will get
Ranma!� Akane pointed at Ukkyo and Kodachi, who were just pulling
themselves up out of the quicksand at the far side.
Shampoo stopped to think for a second. �Okay. Shampoo help. What is
plan?�
�Quicksand is mostly water, right?� asked Akane. She splashed
Shampoo with a handful of the mud, turning the Amazon into a cat.
Stretching as far as she could manage, Akane lifted the cat out of the
mud and threw her up into the tree. �Now,� she shouted, �see if you can
break off a branch for me to grab and pull myself out!� Shampoo looked
down at Akane, then stared off into the forest beyond, toward the goal.
With one last quick glance at Akane, she leapt easily to the ground and
darted into the forest.
Akane swallowed hard as the quicksand rose around her neck. �She
abandoned me! I can�t believe she would be so heartless! But what did I
expect from her? Of course I knew she�d just leave me to die... but it
was my only chance...� So caught up in her thoughts was she that she
didn�t see the falling tree until it had almost hit her. Fortunately, it
missed her by inches, merely splashing the mud onto her upturned face.
�What you waiting for, stupid girl?� called Shampoo from the distant
stump, her voice barely reaching Akane�s submerged ears. �Grab tree and
pull self out of quicksand!� Akane grappled for a handhold in the rough
bark of the tree, and within a minute she was standing on solid ground
once again.
�Shampoo,� she said between breaths, �thank you for coming back.�
�Shampoo would be dead without Akane help,� replied the Amazon.
�Shampoo not leave Akane to die. Saw hot spring ahead, so changed to
girl to break tree. Would have told plan, but cat not able to talk.� She
smiled and winked, and Akane laughed heartily, thankful to be alive.
All too soon, however, Akane�s joy ended as abruptly as it had
started. �I don�t suppose we have much chance of catching up now,� she
moaned.
�No worry about that,� said Shampoo cheerily. �Hot spring VERY hot.�
Akane noticed for the first time that Shampoo�s skin was red. �No can
swim across this one.�
�They haven�t crossed it? Then we still have a chance! Come on!�
Akane ran ahead into the forest.
�Wait!� shouted Shampoo. �Is dangerous!� Akane stopped as a dark
shape flew past her head.
�What was that?�
�Bats,� answered Shampoo, waving her bonbori over her head as she
ran through the dark forest. Akane stayed as close as she could, keeping
her head down and waving her arms to hold off as many of the flying
rodents as she could. Finally, they emerged from the forest, and Akane
was relieved to see both Ukkyo and Kodachi standing at the shore of the
bubbling lake as she stopped to catch her breath.
�Shampoo,� said Akane, �did you really go back through that forest
again just to save me?�
Shampoo nodded. �Amazon never break word. Besides, victory by
cheating have no honor.�
�What victory?� asked Ukkyo. �We�ll never get across this lake.�
�I�m still wondering how Kodachi made it past the bats,� said Akane.
�Her cackling threw off their sonar,� said Ukkyo. �They couldn�t
find her.�
�Really?� asked Akane, amazed. �Maybe she�s not as dumb as she
looks...�
�This lake could actually be therapeutic,� said Kodachi, dipping her
foot into the lake. She quickly withdrew it and waved her hand at her
foot to fan it. �It�s a few degrees hotter than our hot spring at home!�
she noted painfully.
�Shampoo could told you that,� said Shampoo flatly. �Stupid girl.�
�You were saying...� Ukkyo prodded Akane.
�Shampoo and I had to work together to get out of the quicksand,�
said Akane, ignoring Ukkyo. �Maybe if we all work together, we can get
across the lake!�
�You have another plan?� asked Shampoo.
�Why should we work together?� asked Ukkyo. �Only one of us can win
the race.�
�No, don�t you see?� asked Akane. �We can beat the demon at its own
game! It wants us to fight and maybe even kill each other trying to win
this race. But if we work together, we can all survive and nobody has to
lose!�
�You only saying that because you afraid to lose,� pointed out
Shampoo.
�If you think you can win this race alone, you�re welcome to try,�
invited Akane.
Shampoo grumbled. �No can think way to do it.�
�Looks like we have no choice then,� said Ukkyo. �We�ll work
together.�
Kodachi cast the three girls a critical eye. �The Black Rose, work
together with such plain girls? Never! Sooner would I die than ally
myself with my enemies!�
�That what Shampoo said. Would be dead too, if not change mind.�
Kodachi snorted. �I�m not the one who threw myself into quicksand
without providing a means of escape, am I? I vowed that no puddle would
separate me from my beloved and I meant it!�
�Forget it,� said Ukkyo. �We can do this without her help! So, Akane
dear, what�s the plan?�
�We�re going to make a canoe out of one of these trees,� replied
Akane.
�I get it,� said Ukkyo. �Allow me.� She drew her battle spatula and
felled a thick tree with a single stroke.
�Great!� said Akane. �Now, lend me one of your spatulas. Shampoo, I�
ll need a bonbori as well.�
�Are you sure you know what you�re doing?� asked Ukkyo as she and
Shampoo reluctantly handed over their respective implements.
�I�m positive,� replied Akane. �I may have nearly failed Home
Economics, but the one thing that allowed me to scrape by with a D was
my skill at Wood Carving!� She raised the bonbori and, using the spatula
as a crude chisel, began to carve the trunk of the tree.
�You take too long,� said Shampoo. �Stand aside.� Shampoo reclaimed
her bonbori and hammered away at the log, gouging a cavity in the trunk
large enough to hold the three girls comfortably. �Now you finish,� she
said, handing the bonbori back to Akane.
�Great work, Shampoo,� said Akane. �This will take no time at all to
finish!� She quickly smoothed the sides of the canoe and returned her
tools to their owners. �All done! Now to cast off!�
�Wow,� said Kodachi admiringly as they pushed the canoe toward the
lake. �You really did do a good job together. Mind if I tag along?�
�Of course we mind!� shouted Ukkyo. �You didn�t lift a finger to
help us!�
�Crazy girl say want to cross lake by self,� agreed Shampoo. �So
cross lake by self.�
�I�m afraid we only have room for three,� finished Akane. �Sorry,
Kodachi!� She pushed the canoe into the lake and hopped in, joining
Shampoo and Ukkyo in the boat. �Ukkyo, you�ve got the paddle.�
�Aye aye, captain!� saluted Ukkyo, paddling with her battle spatula.
Kodachi watched the canoe as it navigated the boiling lake. �Oh, my
darling Ranma, what have I done? By refusing in my vanity to work
alongside them, have I doomed myself to an eternity apart from you? No,
it cannot be!� She stared at the lake�s bubbling surface and pondered
her fate. �Of course!� she said at last. �Why didn�t I think of it
before? Ranma darling, I�m coming for you!�
Akane turned her head to see Kodachi lightly skipping across the
surface of the lake, cackling all the way. �How is she doing that?�
�Never mind,� said Ukkyo, tossing a pair of large spatulas to Akane
and Shampoo. �If we want to stay ahead, we�ve got to move faster!� Akane
and Shampoo lent their arms to furious paddling, reaching the far side
of the lake only shortly after Kodachi. They found her standing in a
snowdrift, steam rising around her.
�Oh, my tender soles burn, but it is nothing compared to the flames
within my heart!�
Ukkyo stared up the snowy slope ahead. �This doesn�t look too
tough.� Using her spatulas as pitons, she began to scale the sheer
slope. Shampoo and Akane glanced at each other, then set to work making
their own way up the slope; Shampoo using her bonbori�s handles as
handholds, while Akane simply gouged her own steps by hand. Kodachi
followed, putting her clubs to the same purpose as Ukkyo�s spatulas.
They all reached the top together and stared down the vertical cliff
beyond.
�It�s got to be at least a thousand feet!� said Akane.
�I suppose we could always climb down,� suggested Ukkyo.
�It�s too dangerous!� said Akane. �One slip and we�d all plummet to
our deaths!�
�That�s no problem,� said Ukkyo, brandishing her noodle rope.
�Mountain climbers tie themselves together for safety, right? If the
three of us are tied together, then even if one of us falls, the other
two can hold her up.�
Akane quickly assessed the plan. �It�ll work for safety, but we
still need some way to get down. We can�t just climb down. The cliff is
too smooth.�
�Shampoo know! Use noodle rope and tie to bonbori!�
�That would work,� said Ukkyo, �except I only have one rope, and we
need it for the safety harness.�
�Then there�s only one thing we can do,� said Akane. �Kodachi, we
need to use your ribbon.�
�What? Moi, lend my only ribbon to the three of you?�
�We�ll let you climb down with us,� said Ukkyo.
Kodachi briefly considered the offer, tenderly lifting a burnt foot.
�All right. We�ll all climb down together.� Ukkyo tied the noodle rope
around each girl�s waist while Akane tied each end of the ribbon around
the handle of one of Shampoo�s bonbori. Finally, she fastened Ukkyo�s
spatula belt around herself.
�Everyone�s secure,� said Ukkyo. �We�re ready when you are.�
�Okay,� said Akane, stabbing the handle of the bonbori into the
cliff face. She rappelled down the cliff, pausing as each girl began her
descent when the rope became taut. When Akane reached the end of the
ribbon, she placed eight spatula pitons, then waited for the others to
finish their descent. Once everyone was safely balanced on the pitons,
Akane secured the bottom end of the ribbon rope and gave the rope a
sharp tug, dislodging the upper end. �A few more times and we�ll be at
the bottom,� she said.
After what seemed like hours, all four girls stood safely at the
bottom of the cliff. �Is this obstacle course ever going to end?� asked
Akane as she stared at the rope that stretched across the chasm beyond,
vanishing into the fog that obscured the opposite end completely.
�I think it wants us to kill each other,� said Ukkyo. �The last one
alive wins, right? There probably isn�t a goal at all. It ends when only
one of us is left alive.�
�Well, I don�t intend to play the demon�s game!� protested Akane. �I
�m not going to die just to try to prove who�s the best bride for
Ranma!�
�Shampoo not want die either. But how to decide contest?�
�We all have to stay together,� said Akane. �We won�t let the demon
beat us!�
�Good idea! Now we cross rope?�
�Right! I�ll go first!� Akane grabbed the rope, but Kodachi pulled
her back.
�And what assurance have we that you will not cut the rope upon
reaching the far side, stranding us all while you trivially complete the
course?�
�Yeah!� agreed Ukkyo. �How do we know that all of this �Let�s work
together� talk wasn�t just a trick so you could ditch us and win the
race yourself?�
�It wasn�t!� protested Akane.
�How you expect us to believe you?� asked Shampoo, crossing her
arms.
�It�s probably a test of trust,� replied Akane. �The only way to
cross is for us to trust each other.�
�Then we don�t have any way to cross,� said Kodachi. �I�ll
personally kill anyone who so much as touches that rope before me.�
�There�s only one way to settle this,� said Ukkyo. �We�ll all have
to cross at the same time.�
�Will the rope hold all of us?� asked Akane.
�I doubt it,� replied Ukkyo. �But what other choice do we have?�
�Right. Everyone follow me closely then.� Akane grabbed the rope and
swung herself out over the ravine. The others nearly pushed each other
into the ravine fighting over who would be next, but eventually everyone
was on the rope. Akane started to cross hand over hand, and heard the
rope creak dangerously. �You know,� she began, �maybe this wasn�t such a
good idea...�
The rope snapped at the near end, sending the girls swinging
downward toward the far wall of the ravine. �Whose bright idea was
this?� shouted Ukkyo over the rushing wind.
�Just hold on!� Akane shouted back. �We can climb up once we hit the
far wall!�
Several minutes passed. �When we going to hit wall?� asked Shampoo.
�And how hard are we going to hit it?� added Ukkyo.
�I don�t know!� shouted Akane. �But I plan to hang on long enough to
find out!�
Kodachi cackled loudly as the far wall finally came into view. The
girls braced themselves as they were smashed brutally into the rocky
cliff. Akane felt her right shoulder go numb as it smacked into the
wall. She quickly wrapped her legs around the rope to keep her grip. �Is
everyone okay?� she asked.
�Shampoo okay. Leg hurt, but I still holding.�
�I think I landed on my spatula, but I�ll be okay too.�
Akane waited, but there was no further answer. �Kodachi?�
�She not here!� Shampoo shouted up to Akane. �Maybe she fall!�
�No!� Akane nearly fell off herself in shock. �She couldn�t have...�
�Akane, get a grip!� shouted Ukkyo. �Like our host said, only one of
us is going to survive. Probably better that she dies by her own hand
than one of us kills her.�
�She not trust us,� agreed Shampoo. �She got what she deserve.�
�Nobody deserves death,� said Akane. �Not even someone as twisted as
Kodachi Kuno.�
�And definitely not us,� said Ukkyo. �So, how�s about climbing up
this rope before we all fall?�
A tear fell from Akane�s eye as she began to climb the rope, her
useless right arm hanging limply at her side while her left arm and legs
did all the work. Up and up they climbed, their injuries hurting them
more and more as they ascended.
�How far are we from top?� asked Shampoo.
�I still can�t see it,� replied Akane.
�I don�t think I can climb any more,� moaned Ukkyo. �I can�t feel my
hands!�
�Don�t you dare let go!� shouted Akane. �We�re all going to make it
to the top!�
A loud cackle drowned out Ukkyo�s reply. �Did you miss me, girls?�
�Kodachi?� Akane turned to see the Black Rose hovering beside the
rope, spinning a length of ribbon over her head as a propeller. She
smiled. �Thank God you�re all right!�
�It will take a lot more than a little fall to kill the star of
Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics!� said Kodachi. She grabbed the rope
just above Akane�s hands.
�What are you doing to the rope?� asked Akane desperately.
�You�re in no condition to climb,� replied Kodachi, spinning the
ribbon faster. She began to rise, bringing the other girls with her.
Akane�s eyes grew moist again, this time with tears of joy. �Thank
you, Kodachi. But why?�
�I thought there were no depths to which I would not sink to win
fair Ranma�s love. But this contest is a farce. It will prove nothing. I
recalled a phrase from a book on assertiveness that I read shortly
before my capture: �Cooperation is the only way to achieve one�s goals.�
I considered what you said about working together, and I agree. We must
defeat this demon at its own game.� She deposited her burden on the
clifftop, then landed herself.
Massaging the feeling back into her injured arm, Akane stared up
into the branches of the huge tree around which the rope was tied, its
gnarled surface inviting her to climb it rather than try to cross the
rolling green ooze beyond. �No!� she shouted. �I will not go on any
longer! We�ve come far enough, and we�ve proven that we won�t be
beaten!�
�We don�t have to go any further,� said Ukkyo. �I say we just stand
right here and wait until the demon gets bored and comes to us!�
�Aiya!� shouted Shampoo. �Stand here not good idea!� She pointed at
the sea of green goo beyond, which was advancing rapidly on them.
�Climb for your life!� shouted Akane. All four girls quickly began
to scale the huge trunk as the slime washed over the tree�s roots. Acrid
black smoke rose from the tree�s base as the trunk descended into the
goo. �It�s acid!� yelled Akane. �We have to stay above it!�
Ukkyo pointed to the far side of the pool. �Let�s try to overbalance
the tree! We can use it as a bridge to cross to the other side!�
�What if tree not tall enough?� asked Shampoo.
�It won�t be, if we don�t hurry!� replied Akane. �Everyone, to this
side of the tree!� The unbalanced weight toppled the tree, sending the
girls falling through the air once again. �Quick!� shouted Akane. �Get
on top before we all get dunked!� They quickly scrambled around the
trunk to stand on top of the log as it splashed into the sea of acid.
Fortunately, none of the acid splashed onto the girls.
Black smoke swirled up to surround the girls. �It�s still sinking!
Run!� shouted Ukkyo. Shampoo lost her footing as she ran to the far side
of the log and nearly plunged headlong into the acid, but Akane pulled
her back to safety. Together, the four leapt to the far bank of the acid
pool as the tree disappeared into the ooze. �We made it!� said Ukkyo.
�Look!� shouted Kodachi. �A golden chair awaits us!� She pointed to
a fancy throne that had been erected just beyond the acid pool. �Whoever
sits in the chair will become Ranma�s bride!�
�Can it really be that easy?� asked Akane.
�Of course,� said Shampoo. �Only one can sit in throne. Only one can
be Ranma bride.�
�So after all the obstacles, it comes down to this?� asked Ukkyo.
�No problem!� She darted toward the throne.
�Hey! No fair!� shouted Akane as she and Shampoo charged after
Ukkyo. A ribbon wound itself around the three racers, immobilizing them
and knocking them off their feet. �Kodachi!�
�Kodachi?� asked Ukkyo, struggling in vain to escape the ribbon.
�Let me go, you jackass!�
�Aiya! How she do that? Now crazy girl win!�
Kodachi dropped the loose end of the ribbon on the ground and turned
her back to the throne. �The race is over. I refuse to sit in the
throne.�
�WHAT?� shouted the demon�s voice. �How can you refuse? Victory is
yours!�
�I no more deserve this victory than do they,� answered Kodachi,
pointing to her downed opponents. �I will not allow this contest to end
thus, even if it is in my favor. We are drawn.� She grabbed the throne
and threw it into the pool of acid.
The black smoke rising from the acid pool solidified into Ranma�s
form. �How dare you destroy the contest I worked so hard to create?�
�The contest is no fair!� shouted Akane. �It doesn�t prove anything!
Ranma should be allowed to choose which one of us he wants to marry!�
�That�s right!� agreed Ukkyo. �I won�t marry Ranma if it�s by
force!�
�Shampoo want husband be happy! No want marry if not by choice!�
Kodachi rolled her eyes. �I have no compunction against forcing
Ranma to marry me. I simply can�t allow a demon to do my work for me.�
�Is that how you really feel?� asked the demon. �Then I have no
choice.�
Akane brightened up. �Does that mean you�ll let us go?�
The demon laughed. �No.� The demon dissolved into black smoke, which
rolled over Akane, choking the air out of her lungs. The dying sounds of
the others� coughing filled her ears as her consciousness faded and the
world went black again.
---------------------------------------------------------
MOM: I'm getting rid of this TV before the mindless garbage rots your
brain!
JOHNNY: Mindless garbage not rot brain!
(SHAMPOO: Mindless Johnny not got brain to rot!)
"There's a billion places like home. But only one of them's where you
live." - Granny Weatherwax, "Witches Abroad" by Terry Pratchett
ED: My eyes are stuck! I can't open them!
EDDY: Open your eyes, Ed.
ED: (opens eyes) Thanks, Eddy.
My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp