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-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: Mechanoia 2.txt
NOTE:
[Internal Monologue]
|Text on a paper or sign
<:> Artist: "Song playing on soundtrack" <:>
OR
<:> SFX: "Effect" <:>
========================================================================
MECHAnoia by Echo Albarn
halo two: the sun is too loud today
========================================================================
<:> SFX: Air Conditioner <:>
I stared at the ceiling. It was that rather boring, institutional
cracked styrofoam stuff, that made me feel as if I were in an office, as
opposed to my room in the M.E.C.H.A. Project barracks. I reached upward,
and thanks to the fact I was on the top bunk, I touched the ceiling.
This would immediately prove to be a bad idea.
Foam dust floated down onto my face. I coughed and itched
simultaneously, allowing me, in my semi-blindness, to roll off th-
"AHHHHH!"
My shout was immediately followed by a sickening crunch and
blackness.
====================
The Spook walked purposefully to the infirmary. He slid an ID card
through the slot on the door, which obediently popped open. Entering, he
saw two people. The first one was on a bed, holding a large splint
against his face. He had rather shaggy blonde hair, bleary eyes and a
bloody nose. The other was taping the splint onto his head with long
strips of medical tape. The Spook turned to the person currently
occupied with said tape.
"Well, Julia?"
[Well, THAT'S the first time anybody's used their NAME around
here...]
'Julia', for her part, grinned and continued wrapping. "He'll be
okay." She followed this up with a quick kiss on the side of my face.
Thankfully, the tape covered up my now-red cheeks.
"I'm making sure of it," she finished. Julia cinched the last knot
just tightly enough to remind me that she was the definite oddball of
this group.
"Just remember, he needs to be ready for preliminary unit tests
tomorrow morning, broken nose or not," the spook admonished.
I had no idea of what he meant by that, so I just laid myself
back against the pillows. They were that hospital type that felt like
paper, and was just as noisy. The Spook left the room, and Julia leaned
against the bedside table, tapping her fingernails in a thoughtful
manner. I closed my eyes, hoping that the throbbing pain in my face
would be dulled by sleep. These hopes would soon be dashed to the
ground, when I felt and heard a large FHLUMP. Slowly opening my eyes, I
rolled to my left and found Julia next to me on the bed, curled up in
a fetal position. She turned her head up towards me, and spoke, "Can I
ask you a question?"
I already felt trapped, as I KNEW this was going to be a no-win
situation, in addition to the fact that she was laying on my arm.
Sighing as only the eternally tortured can, I told her she could.
She leaned closer in towards my body, breathing gently
against my neck. "Do you think I'm cute?" she asked.
"Um..."
At this point, time seemed to stand still, as I knew that no
matter how I answered, I was in trouble. Deep trouble. However, being
the truthful idiot that I am, bit the bullet and told her.
"Yes," I said, muffled a bit by the nose splint, "You're a cute
woman."
With those words, she leaned in close, wrapped her thin arms
around my neck and hugged me, giggling. I, still somewhat shocked,
remained silent and still. Julia then got up, still giggling, and
skipped over to the door like a schoolgirl. As she left, I tried to
figure out what I had just done, but became only more exasperated. So I
turned the light off and went to sleep.
<:> Refused: "New Noise" <:>
It seemed like only seconds had gone by before the world exploded
in light. Like any normal person would, I put my arms in front of my
face to ward off the bright light boring though my eyeballs. At least, I
tried. Before I could move, I was literally thrown from the bed and onto
the floor. Standing above me, dramatically silhouetted by the operating
lamp she had been shining on my sleeping face, was the feminazi. As far
as I could tell (before she grabbed me by the collar) she was dressed
even more severely than the last time I saw her. She gave a brief
explanation of things as she dragged me towards the door.
"We're under attack. You are going out there."
"Geez, whaddaya mean, 'going out there'? Could you just give me a
little bit more info? Maybe?"
She stopped, dropping me to the ground, halfway down the hall. I
quickly got to my feet and looked up into her eyes.
Sneering, she told me this:
"Under Black Ops MECHA Program code 868686, and I quote, if only
one MECHA pilot is on-site during an attack, they are to enter combat,
no matter what condition the pilot or pilot's equipment may be in,
unquote."
<:> Kraftwerk: "The Hall of Mirrors" <:>
Several minutes of running later, we arrived at the locker rooms
again. As I entered, thankfully without interruptions from Julia, I went
to my locker to find that a uniform had been already placed within. I
pulled it out, and I began to get changed. Okay, *changed* isn't exactly
the right word, more like dressed, since my "gown" wasn't doing much for
me in the clothing department, but I got the suit on anyway. It
consisted of a single-piece bodysuit with an odd little control button
on the wrist. As I zipped up the front, I felt a little odd, more
accurately, it felt as if it were hanging off me a little weirdly. As I
took my first steps in the boots (also part of the suit) searing pains
struck me in, well, lets just say, my *area*. Walking rather
bowleggedly, I made it over to a mirror, whereupon I examined my
reflection.
Longish blonde hair...Check.
Goofy-looking nose splint...Check.
Goofier grimace from pain...Check.
White bodysuit...Check.
Extremely tight collar to said bodysuit...Check.
US flag on right shoulder...Check.
Number double-zero on left shoulder...Check.
Rather floppy section at center of torso...Check?
Boring-looking midriff area...Check.
EXTREMELY TIGHT pelvic section...Oy.
Tight-fitting shoes...Yeah.
Putting two and two together, I got four. Then I thought about the
problem at hand. I looked over myself one more time, then I chose my
plan of action. I stuck my head out the door and I yelled at the still-
waiting feminazi, "WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE A WOMAN'S UNIFORM?"
Not flinching an inch, she yelled back, "HOW THE HELL AM I
SUPPOSED TO KNOW, YOU PUTZ?"
We glared at each other for a moment, our faces just inches apart,
but the moment of tension was broken by the sound of a throat clearing.
The Spook had arrived.
Not only had he arrived, but he had two very important things to
say.
"Why isn't he dressed yet?" he asked the feminazi.
She told him, and his face turned a very interesting shade of
purple.
"Are you ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY SURE that you have your own suit?"
[Good Question!]
I ducked back inside the door, and peeled the outfit off of my
body. There was a tag inside, reading as such:
|MECHA PROJECT
|PILOT 00
|Seana Wade
[Oh, shit.]
"DAMMIT!" I yelled, "MY NAME IS SEAN A. WADE!"
Opening the door about 6 inches, I tossed the erroneous garment
into the hall, yelling "Check the name tag!"
There was dead silence for several seconds before the two NSA
agents cracked up laughing.
I, for my part, got changed into my street clothes, which some
lovely person had put into my locker when I went to the infirmary.
Stepping back into the hallway, I waited for them to finish laughing.
"Aren't we under attack or something?" I asked.
====================
In the control room, Julia was running things with the cool,
detached air of a master symphony conductor. She frowned and stopped in
mid-command when she noticed something on one of the viewscreens. A
blue-and-white sneaker had just entered the cockpit area, and it looked
as if someone in civvies was trying to get through the door. Then she
looked a little closer, while clicking a button on her headset.
"Pilot double-naught, this is control, why aren't you in uniform?"
I was still in the middle of climbing into the cockpit of the
vehicle when she asked this over the loadspeakers.
"It won't fit." I deadpanned.
Julia's voice got a little quavery at her next sentence, "But...if
you don't wear the suit, I can't monitor your vital signs..."
I was really not in the mood at this point, and I kinda blew up at
her. "If you can tell that I'm NOT in uniform, then you'd probably be
able to tell if I'm okay or not! Jesus..."
Julia sighed, and continued her work.
I sighed as well, climbing the rest of the way into the cockpit.
As I settled in my seat, I noticed an object sitting on what could only
be called the "dashboard" of the cockpit. Upon closer examination, it
proved to be a small plushie kitten, with a tag on it.
The tag read:
|Please come back in one piece.
|Love, Julia.
I sighed one last time and stuffed it in my shirt pocket. This
was getting more confusing by the minute. I shook my head, which was
about the only thing I could do.
About the only thing anyone could have done.
========================================================================
<:> Carl Palmer: "Bach Two-Part Invention in D Minor" <:>
MECHAnoia CAST LIST:
----------
MAJOR PERSONAS:
Pilot #00: Sean A. Wade
NSA Agent #1 "Spook" (Director of Operations): Simon DuBois
NSA Agent #2 "Feminazi" (Asst. Director): Amelia Whelan
Science/Medical Head (Project Leader): Dr. Julia Schneider
AND:
Lunchlady: Ethel Petersen
========================================================================
NEXT TIME, ON MECHAnoia, HALO THREE!
SEE
The Enemy!
EXPERIENCE
Technical Difficulties!
FEEL
Sick!
"78%", COMING SOON...WATCH FOR IT!
========================================================================
Quick Author note. You can skip it if you want.
I really wish I had a better understanding of where I want to go
with this. If any of you people have an idea, drop me a line
(whoneedsthisreality@hotmail.com), I'll be more than glad to hear them.
-E.A
========================================================================
"MECHAnoia, halo two" (C) 2000, Echo Albarn/Mirror in the Dark Prod.
========================================================================