Ranma meets the Tendos. Yay. Standard Ranma alt fare, but it
shows the Tendo's personalities, which I changed to hopefully make more
of the funny scenes. Read chapter one first. It does help to read
this one if you want to understand three and four.
Save your C&C for chapter four, although any and all is
appreciated, even flames.
Kichigai
If you only try it once, you're experimenting. If you keep
doing it, you're a pervert.
-- Attached file included as plaintext by Listar --
-- File: 2tol2.txt
Two Types of Liars.
Chapter two.
"Akane! Hey, you! What do you think you're doing to my
little sister?" Kasumi screamed. "PERVERT! FATHER, GET THE
SWORD!"
Akane looked up from her task, eyes wide in surprise as
Kasumi began yelling. She was wearing an unbuttoned shirt, and
her bra was missing. Closer inspection would have revealed that
the bra was being used as a rope.
"MMMMPH!" mmmphed the bound and gagged boy tied up in the
storage shed.
"Kasumi! Would you shut the door?" Akane screamed back.
"Akane, how could you let this boy talk you into this? He's
just a pervert like the rest of them!"
The boy in question, named Goto, would have liked to point
out that it wasn't HIS idea, in fact he had been against it for
this very reason. But he would have settled for a chance to get
away with all body parts intact. "MMMPH!"
Akane stood up and tried to push Kasumi out the door, but
Kasumi shied away from her touch.
"Don't touch me until you've washed your hands! I saw what
you were doing!"
Akane shrugged. "Ah, you're just jealous. I'll even let
you have a turn if you wanna."
"MMMPH!" Goto cried, shaking his head furiously to show what
he thought of that idea.
Kasumi searched the room and grabbed an old broom propped
against one wall. Akane took a defensive stance, shirt flaring
wide.
In another part of the house, Nabiki sat in her room and
looked out the window, guiltily reading a trashy romance novel.
Ever so often she would sigh and hold the book to her chest, a
dreamy look in her eyes.
Twin shrill screams interrupted her fantasies, nearly
causing her to drop the book. She quickly shut the window and
went to her bed, trying to block out the sounds of combat below.
Downstairs in the living room, Soun sat quietly drinking a
bottle of strong sake. Every time he heard another crash he'd
take a slightly longer pull.
Even the somewhat unusual sight of a mostly naked boy
getting chased through the house by a broom wielding Kasumi didn't
cause much of a reaction.
When Akane ran through topless, he turned on the TV. It
wasn't the first time something like this had happened, and he
feared that it wouldn't be the last.
Oh, sure, he'd been upset when it first appeared that some
boy had been fooling around with his youngest daughter, but it had
turned out that Akane had accidentally spilled some candles on him
and he had to go to the hospital because of the burns. Nothing
had actually happened, and he was spared the duty of killing the
boy.
It had been a while before Akane had another boyfriend,
something he was profoundly grateful for. Her next one wasn't
exactly one he would have preferred he to see though. Akane would
never ride a motorcycle again, he'd seen to that. He hated the
idea of her getting into a wreck again. Poor boy.
Kasumi had caught her trying to sneak several boys into the
house and ran them off, and she'd also been grounded for sneaking
out more than a few times.
Now, however, she was staying home more, along with his
eldest daughter.
He shuddered briefly and took another drink. Those two were
going to drive him into the grave at this rate.
The ringing of the doorbell caught his attention, then he
looked at the time. Mail, he thought. Maybe it'll be good news.
Although Kasumi was the one that usually brought in the
mail, he could tell that she was busy.
Hmm, lets see. Bill, letter from angry parent, bill,
magazine, bill, magazine, H manga, must be Akane's, postcard, junk
mail. He paused to throw most of the mail away, then looked at
the postcard.
Tendo:
Coming from china with Ranma.
Saotome.
At last! The answer to his prayers! He could only think of
one thing to say as the sound of a paper wall tearing in the
background reached his ears.
"Oh, thank god."
****************
"Now listen girls, I've something very important to tell
you," Soun began as he called the family meeting together.
"Is it about Akane's transgression this morning?" Kasumi
asked hopefully, privately wondering why her father had a wide
grin on his face.
Akane responded by sticking her tongue out at her older
sister. "Well what was I supposed to do? After all, you did it
once, too." She too wondered why her father seemed so happy all
of a sudden. She liked the change though, although the nature of
his grin disturbed her. Maybe he got lucky with one of the
neighbors?
Soun waved his hand through the air, cutting them both of
before they really got into another argument. "No, I've just
received a postcard today. Genma Saotome is bringing his son
Ranma here soon."
Both Kasumi and Akane perked up at the announcement,
although for very different reasons. Soun cut them off before
they could say anything though.
"Now listen carefully. The reason they are coming is so we
can honor a promise made a very long time ago, a promise to unite
the Tendo and the Saotome schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts.
Ranma will marry one of you two."
Immediately they started screaming.
"I'll take him!" Akane yelled, happily agreeing to marry the
strange boy. She though furiously. If I'm married, Kasumi can't
say anything!
"No, Father! You can't do this! He's a pervert!" Kasumi
protested.
"So?" Akane yelled back. "I don't care, you don't want him,
let me have him!"
"Father, you can't let Akane marry some perverted little
boy! You don't know what they'd do!"
Soun, who had his hands clasped firmly over his ears,
finally slammed his hands down on the table, making the three
sisters jump.
"uh, i'll take him," Nabiki said in a very small voice.
"Let's just get this straight," Soun said firmly. "The
promise will be honored, and Ranma will marry one of you." An
unholy light began to glint in his eyes. "Oh, yes. One of you
will be married and have a life of your own." A short giggle
escaped him before he stopped.
They all heard a knock on the door.
"Ah," Soun said, standing up. "That must be them now."
The girls began to stand as well.
"SIT!" ordered Soun. They all sat back down. "Good, now, I
will go meet our guests." He walked away to the door.
At the table, the girls all looked at each other in
confusion. They could distantly hear a short cry of welcome,
followed by a short scream of surprise.
A babbled apology, a few words that weren't heard well
enough to be understood, and another short scream of surprise.
Footsteps were heard getting closer.
Akane squirmed in anticipation, Nabiki dreamily fantasized
about her dream lover all the way until they walked into view, and
Kasumi twitched, wishing for a broom to chase the perverts away
with.
None of them were exactly prepared for their father to walk
in, followed by an older woman with very large breasts and a young
red haired girl.
Soun put his arm around the young girl and pointed her at
the group at the table. "Girls, I'd like you to meet Ranma
Saotome and her father Genma."
They all blinked in confusion. Akane spoke up, "Um, isn't
Ranma a..."
"Yes, by now you may well be aware that Ranma is in fact a
girl." Ranma bristled at the statement, but Soun continued
anyway. "This complicates matters, but at this point I don't care
anymore." He turned to Ranma. "Ranma, my girl, this is my
daughter Kasumi, age 19. She's an excellent cook, keeps the house
spotless, and would make the perfect housewife."
Ranma nodded, bewildered.
"And if you would prefer someone closer to your own age,
this," Soun said, waving at Akane, "is my youngest daughter Akane,
age 16."
Akane smiled and waved, prompting Ranma to smile nervously
back and lift one hand in a shy wave.
"Pick which ever one you want, that's your new wife.
Husband, whatever they call it now days."
Ranma choked, Genma shook her head and left, and the three
girls were very surprised.
"Wow, Daddy, I didn't know you were so open-minded!"
exclaimed Akane.
"Yes, yes," Soun said modestly, "I know I'm a very modern
person. Live and let live I always say, there's no reason for the
schools of Anything Goes Martial arts to be stuck in the past,
clinging to archaic standards of who marries whom." Especially
when there are daughters to marry off, Soun thought.
"But, but..." Kasumi began.
Soun looked directly at Kasumi. "You were always saying how
all boys are perverts, here's a girl that would be perfect for
you."
Ranma finally managed to choke out, "Hey, wait! I'm a guy
already! And what's this about marriage?"
"Aww, how cute," Akane said. "She wants to be the guy in
the relationship. Way to go Kasumi! She looks like quite a
catch! Just look at the size of her breasts!" Akane stood up and
felt of Ranma's chest, causing Ranma to back into Soun.
Soun stood immobile, making sure Ranma wasn't going to
escape.
Kasumi slid off the bench and crouched on the floor with her
hands over her head. "This is not happening, this is not
happening..." she repeated to herself as her family clustered
around her, dragging her to her feet to congratulate her and her
new husband.
Or was that her wife? No, she was the wife, she had been
raised to be the wife, and the girl wanted to be the pervert. Or
was that her sister? Her sister was a boy? Kasumi finally
fainted from the strain.
This is just perfect, thought Ranma-chan. Figures that Pops
would keep a little thing like an engagement secret.
The Tendos all clustered around Kasumi, who was laying
unconscious on the floor. After a few minutes of worriedly
checking her over, Soun tenderly picked her up and took her to her
room.
Akane turned to their guest. "You'll have to excuse my
sister, she gets overly emotional at times."
Ranma blinked. "I see..."
Akane cocked her head sideways. "You really do plan on
being the 'guy', huh? You've even got the mannerisms down."
Ranma scratched the back of her head nervously. "Uh, what
can I say? Practice?"
"Daddy said that you are a martial artist. Do you know
kempo?"
"A little."
"Oh, wow! I do, too! Wanna spar?"
"Well, o--HEY!" Ranma protested as Akane grabbed her hand
and dragged her out the back door.
Akane led the way to the dojo, then left Ranma standing in
the middle of the floor, as she walked over to a gi left laying
against one wall.
Ranma watched in bug-eyed amazement as Akane unceremoniously
stripped off her clothes and piled them neatly beside the gi, then
bent over to pick it up.
Ranma quickly turned around and face the other direction.
"Geez, do you always change out in public?"
"Huh?" Akane asked as she slipped the cloth on, neglecting
to put on underwear first. "Oh, you mean the clothes? I don't
see what the big deal is, I mean, I'll let you see mine if you'll
let me see yours." Akane grinned.
Ranma choked.
"Well, are you ready?" Akane asked as she turned around and
assumed a fighting stance.
Ranma backed away dubiously. "I don't know..."
Misunderstanding Ranma's expression for fear, Akane hurried
to assure her. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you unless you want me
to," Akane giggled.
Ranma sighed, then shrugged.
Akane threw a wild right hook in Ranma's direction, one so
unexpectedly sloppy that Ranma had a hard time avoiding it.
It wasn't that it was very fast, although there was a fair
amount of strength behind it. It was that Ranma had a hard time
figuring out where she was aiming at.
The next few kicks and punches were of the more traditional
kempo style that Anything Goes was based off of, but Ranma was
wary of those unexpected blows. She knew drunk-fu when she saw
it.
Akane was impressing him with her variety of styles, rarely
sticking to one for very long and would shift back and forth with
amazing speed, keeping her on her toes. Finally, she threw a
full-force crane style punch that, lacking anywhere else to go,
Ranma simply jumped over and landed behind her.
Akane, unable to stop herself, punched a hole in the wall of
the dojo.
Ranma reached over and lightly tapped her on the shoulder.
Pulling her arm out of the hole in the wall, Akane turned to
Ranma. "You're pretty good, but why don't you hit back? Come on,
I don't mind." She took a wild kick at Ranma that deliberately
left a large opening.
Almost effortlessly, Ranma jumped back and stood in a
relaxed pose in the center of the dojo.
She frowned when Ranma failed to take the opportunity.
She's not even taking me seriously, she thought. Lets see how she
reacts when I really try...
Ranma was wary of Akane tricks, and was pretty sure she
could avoid anything Akane threw at her. Still, she got kind of
nervous when Akane suddenly stopped and lightly stroked the side
of her body. She stepped back a few steps as she saw the hearts
appear in Akane's eyes.
Ohboy, this can't be good.
"STUDMUFFIN!" Akane suddenly screamed.
"What?" Ranma exclaimed, freezing in her tracks as she tried
to figure out what Akane was talking about.
This proved to be a mistake, as Akane launched herself in
her direction without so much as a tensing of the muscles to give
her intentions away.
*GLOMP*
"WAHH!" Ranma yelled in shock. "Get off me!" She was in
some sort of weird hold that she couldn't get out of, and no
matter how much she struggled she couldn't even get an arm free.
They slowly toppled over to the floor, unable to adjust his center
of balance. What was worse was that Akane appeared to be rubbing
her... "HELP!"
The hand suddenly stopped its wandering path and came to
rest on her upper arm. Akane seemed to have about six legs and
ten arms, she'd never had this hold used against her before and
didn't know how to break it.
"Sorry about that, this is a really hard technique and it
takes a certain mindset to use," Akane apologized from somewhere
down below his line of sight.
"I'll bet," she said dryly.
"But it's really handy when I get a hold on them. Watch."
She started moving, to all intents and purposes looking like she
was straightening out and getting up. Without having let go
first, though, Ranma was bent into posistions that would make
Gumby scream.
"OOW! HEY!"
"See?"
"I see, I see! I'll take your word for it!"
"Oh, okay." Akane let go, allowing Ranma to spring back
into shape. She offered Ranma a hand in getting up.
Ranma accepted the hand out of courtesy. "That was...
Interesting. You're pretty good yourself."
"Thanks!" said Akane cheerfully. "Are you going to take me
more seriously next time?"
"I, um, was raised not to hit girls," Ranma said nervously,
scratching the back of her head.
Akane looked at Ranma with a puzzled look on her face.
"You're really into this aren't you? Maybe Daddy had the right
idea after all."
Ranma smacked her hand into her forehead. I need to change
back, this being a girl thing just ain't gonna cut it. And I've
got to get rid of this engagement.
Akane's lust for battle having been slaked for the time
being, she suggested that they head in. Pausing to grab her
clothes, she lead the way back to the house.
"Um," Ranma began, trying to find a good excuse to get some
private time, "I could really use a bath. Been on the road all
that time and all."
Akane nodded her head. "Yeah, I could stand one as well.
I'm going to go check on Kasumi, you go ahead."
Ranma nodded. "Um, where are the towels and stuff?"
"Here," Akane showed her.
Ranma looked nervously around as she grabbed her pack and
carried it into the changing room. She quickly rummaged through
and gathered up the appropriate bathing accessories, then stepped
into the bathroom and slid the door shut.
****************
Akane barely glanced at the door to the furo, as she knew
that Ranma was inside.
Kasumi had recovered nearly instantly when Soun had started
to call the doctor. She'd once made a vow about dying before she
ever called HIM, and showed every indication of keeping that vow.
Although Akane was completely unselfconscious when it came
to skin, (as well as pretty much everything else) even she was a
little startled to find her guest sitting on the edge of the furo
and enjoying herself.
To say that Ranma-chan was startled, however, would have
been a bit of an understatement. She had the same look in her
eyes that a rabbit has as it's trying to guess the make of the car
that's about to run over it. The first words out of her mouth
were, "Aww, geez. Not again."
The buzzing of the vibrator seemed to add to the urgency of
the situation, but Ranma chose to forgo the option of shutting it
off for the somewhat more attractive option of covering it and her
face with her hands and blushing.
Akane's almost incessantly cheerful nature rose to the
occasion. "Hey Ranma, what's shaking?" she asked mischieviously.
Ranma turned bright scarlet.
"You know, if you cock your hand just a little bit more and
twist it like so..." Akane kneeled down and reached to
demonstrate.
Ranma-chan just sort of squeaked and scooted backwards, legs
sticking out toward Akane. "What the heck do you think you're
doing?" she squealed indignantly, voice made even higher by the
interesting feel of the vibration dancing across the tiles
underneath her. She squirmed a little and reached underneath
herself, pulling the vibrator out with one hand.
Akane shrugged. "Being friendly? It's no big deal, I've
been caught lots of times."
Akane watched Ranma a few more seconds and then turned and
picked up the shower head. While the bucket might have been more
traditional, she'd developed a preference for the adjustable
shower massager that had nothing to do with the sore muscles she
developed after particularly strenuous training.
"Excuse me, um, what are you doing now?" Ranma asked.
"Oooh," Akane replied as she ran the shower head down the
front of her body, slowly. "I'm getting wet, what does it look
like I'm doing?" she said, nearly purring with pleasure.
Ranma's eyes nearly bugged out for the second time that day.
"Um, yes, ah ha, I see, no, I mean, I'm not looking, ah, could I
please get a little privacy?"
Akane reached over and carefully adjusted the water pressure
and temperature with one hand, keeping the nozzle pressed firmly
against her stomach. "Why?"
"Please? This is awkward."
Akane gasped as something occurred to her. "Oh, I'm so
terribly sorry! I'm being rude to a guest!"
Ranma looked puzzled despite himself.
"Here I am, hogging the shower when it's you as our guest
who should be allowed to use it! I'm so terribly sorry, here you
can have it." Akane pulled the shower head away and leaned
forward so she could hand the outstretched hose to Ranma.
That wasn't quite what Ranma had in mind though, and she
backed away farther. "No, that's not what I meant..."
Backing away was probably a bad idea though, as it forced
Akane to lean a little bit more and start crawling in order to
reach. She didn't notice the slick spot on the tiles though, and
her hand slipped.
Her leg lashed out in a desperate attempt to keep her
balance, and her foot struck the cold water knob and somehow
turning it on full. Her other hand, already outstretched in
Ranma's direction, came down hard on the tiles between Ranma's
legs with the shower nozzle still clutched in it's grasp.
Put together a sudden high pressure blast of cold water, a
body still warm from the previous dip in the furo, and just the
right angle...
"EEEEEEEEEE!"
****************
Meanwhile, back in the living room, Kasumi had calmed down
and was cleaning the house and serving tea in a very determined
manner.
Soun was kicking back with a newspaper and staring at the
male form of his friend that had just walked in from somewhere
else in the house.
Nabiki wasn't there, not that anyone would have noticed.
Soun had just opened his mouth to say something to his old
friend, Genma had just opened his own mouth to say something back,
and Kasumi had just picked up a vase to dust, when a very loud,
very high-pitched scream interrupted them all.
"Glarg!" said Soun, covering his ears.
Genma choked on whatever he was about to say.
Kasumi involuntarily dropped the vase with a crash, and
emitted a soft 'eep' of her own. A distant thump was ignored by
all present.
"PERVERT!" Ranma-chan screamed as he ran full speed through
the house and skidded to a halt in the living room, still panting.
"There's a pervert in the bathroom!"
Soun nodded wearily with his head bent down, trying to feel
his heart. "I see you've made friends with Akane already." Then
he looked up and froze much like Kasumi.
Genma just covered his face with his hands and left the
room, leaving his son to his fate for the second time that day.
Akane sedately walked in behind Ranma, wearing a towel.
"Excuse me? Who is calling who a pervert?"
She tried to stop herself, to no avail. With a certain sick
fascination, Kasumi's gaze slowly took in the water dripping from
her finacee onto the floor, the definite lack of clothing, the
final proof of Ranma's natural hair color, Ranma's deepening full
body blush that was rapidly approaching that color, and finally,
Ranma's choice of bathroom accessories.
*THUD*
Kichigai
ICQ# 37606443
Newly updated! http://come.to/Kichigai
The old links still work.
If you only try it once, you're experimenting. If you keep
doing it, you're a pervert.