Konbonwa Sommer-san,
Experimenting with my style again:
Should be fun.
Any and all C+C appreciated. You can contact me at:
sommer@3rdm.net
Was it you that said you didn't give C&C but C+C? Criticism and
more criticism?
And here we go:
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"In all of nature, there is one universal truth that applies to every race
in the animal kingdom: the female is always the deadlier of the species."
Was this word wrapped? I didn't have any problems with it but they do
appear to be extra long sentences.
--Solomon Paine
Prologue
"Whoa. Did you hear what happened to her?"
Ukyou? Back when Genma took the yatai?
Still incapable of understanding the damage that can be inflicted with
words, more pour from others with a >basic savagery that lacks true malice.
That comes later, when such speakers suffer from the words of others
themselves, and that which is termed 'empathy' is conceived, understood,
and eventually manipulated.
Not sure you need to set empathy aside. I can see it working either way,
though.
"I'm not surprised. I wouldn't wanna marry her."
Dude, have you seen what she'll look like in ten years?
But not now. Not yet.
"Some guy ran off with her dowry."
Ayup, Ukyou. And no, I didn't read agead...
"I heard he dumped her, just like that. Right after he found out they were
gonna be married."
No no no, it was after he found out she was female. He is gay, after all.
Insults from friends, acquaintances, enemies, strangers, all sounding the
same and blending into one. Ukyou >was too young to decide which were worse:
the cutting words from those that never liked her, or the ones from >those
that were her friends.
Friends, definately. You expect enemies to be mean.
Children are so blessed with an infinite capacity for talk.
I've never really thought of the 'gift of gab' as a gift. Well, once or
twice, but overall...
"You know, with the way she dresses and acts, I bet she's not even a real
girl."
Ouch, that would hurt. Don't care how tomboyish someone is.
"Liar! That's not true! I am a girl! A real girl! I'll show you! I'll be
the prettiest and nicest and bestest >girl there is! All of the other girls
will be jealous of me because I'll be a better girl than they are! And >all
of the boys will like me and not want to leave me! I'll make them all like
me! You'll be sorry you ever >said those mean things about me!"
Hence, the title.
Time does many things. Heals. Hurts. Scars. It means different things to
different people as their meager >existence passes during it. But the one
thing it does to everyone equally is that it passes.
Or to steal from Heinlein: Time wounds all heels.
A yawn found itself escaping Ranma's lips. In response, the young man began
twirling a pencil around between >his fingers and forced himself to at least
try to listen to the droning voice of his homeroom teacher. It >would not
have been so difficult if the man could talk in anything other than a
monotone that would have bored
His teacher is Ben Stein?
a fire into extinguishing itself. About the only time the teacher raised
his voice was to send someone out >into the hall; a situation Ranma had
found himself experiencing all too many times in the past. He vowed if >fate
was going to have him holding a couple of buckets again, it was not going to
be because he dozed off in >class.
Easily fixed: Ranma stood up and screamed at the top of his lungs, "Oh, the
humanity! Make it stop, dear God, make it stop!" And was promptly thrown
out into the hall and made to hold buckets of water.
As her half-lidded gaze poured over the students, every male in the room
became convinced that for one, brief >moment, he was the complete center of
attention this newcomer had to offer. Nearly every man in the room found
his heart beat just a little faster, and basic, primal urges called out to
prove themselves worthy of this new >girl's attention.
Except for Ranma, who was wondering how long until lunchtime.
"It's been a long time, Ranchan. Surprised to see me?"
Well, yeah, when did you hit Jusenkyo? He asked this in the Anime, yes?
I'm not sure about the Manga.
Ranma's jaw dropped low enough to almost hit his desk. He paled slightly as
he mouthed barely audibly, >"Ucchan?"
Ucchan? You're almost as pretty as my female form!
She wondered to whose soul Heaven should have mercy.
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All I have written out so far. Let me know what you think
I like what you have so far, though I'm not too sure about Ranma's reaction.
I think his initial thought would be a curse of some sort. But it also
works as written. Another question, how loud did Ukyou talk to Ranma and
vice versa? Wouldn't Akane have heard Ukyou address him and understand that
they knew each other? Just some random thoughts as I read it. Look forward
to seeing more.
Lates,
Warr
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Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult,
someone with less ability might have your job.
--Bits & Pieces