ffml-bounce@fanfic.com wrote:
This chapter doesn't have much to do with Pokemon... it's more of an
examination of Jellic's past. It does, however, bring up some points
that are of relative importance to the story as a whole. This chapter is
a bit on the dark side, so be warned. C&C is very greatly appreciated,
expecially since this chapter began as a request from a fan for more
information on Jellic's past.
Well, well well... I have to say, this was quite a pleasant surprise for a fic... my periodical tests are over, so I can get to c&c away properly now... been a while (sigh)
Jellic�s Hateful Quest
Chapter 15: A Mage�s Homicide is his Castle...
Hmmm... the tone is set in the title... we should be expecting gothic/medieval themes now...
Jellic�s head swam as he fought to regain consciousness. It was a
losing battle, but he finally felt a soothing calm and sensed an older
woman kneeling over him with her hands on his chest. She opened her eyes
as he opened his. �He lives,� she announced to parties unseen.
�Who are you?� he rasped, startled by the sound of his own voice.
�We are your friends, Jellic,� she replied, placing her hand on his
head. �You must be suffering from amnesia. Perhaps I can heal it with my
magic...�
Jellic brushed her hand aside. �I don�t know you at all. Where are
Ashley and the others?�
The woman seemed distressed. �Please, Jellic, rest. Your memory will
return in time. I am Mellicitia. We are journeying together from Lopus
Castle to fight the evil mage Kelve.�
�Mellicitia...� Jellic turned the name over in his mind. �I think I
remember that name now. This was several years ago...�
As I read through this dream sequence, I kinda thought that it was again his delusional daydreaming schtick... the one where you mentioned your psychedelic approach whatsit... It pans into something quite cliche' in medieval setting stories... a mage of some sort... though as I read through this was far from cliche'
... heck, I dun even usually read these RPG stories. Sometimes, but not most of the time (usually those TSR role playing 'choose your own adventure' type of books... the endings in the book dun set up much in the plot in most the books I read).
�You�ve been unconscious for several hours, Jellic. Borse didn�t
think you�d make it.�
�Borse?� Jellic pushed himself to a sitting position and looked
around the small cave. Indeed, Borse the Hunter was hovering close by,
as were Nell the bard, Caster the elf, Grolf the Knight, and of course
the mage Mellicitia. �I remember all of you.�
�Will wonders never cease?� asked Nell, always ready with a witty
quote. �Thy memory hath been healed, as has thy brain, mehopes, that
mayhap the next stone that falls from the ceiling might not damage it
further.� Borse grunted and shouldered his pack, eager to move on before
nightfall.
I'd have to comment that Nell has been the most interesting character in this story. ^_^ Her way with words and her type of wit... it was one of my pleasant surprises to find that there would be an interesting, non-flatboard type character in a sort-of-backstory.
�What am I doing back here?� Jellic wondered silently. �I completed
this quest years ago. Am I dreaming again? Was I poisoned?�
And as Jellic queries the obvious things a reader would notice, then it would be obvious that the author is suggesting something more than dreams and poisoning, ne? Though I was a bit thrown offtrack with the poisoning bit, which was were the last chapter was noted of (the poison sting that may have come from a Sandslash)... but the fact that Jellic is questioning things about this dream would subtly suggest something... so I read on...
�Well,� began Jellic, �I mean no affront by it, but I believe all of
this to be no more than a fevered dream. I am in the world of Pokemon,
and at any moment I will awaken there and this dream will be no more
than a memory, as it should be.� As he said his peace, he realized how
stupid it must sound. Here he was, apologizing to a dream!
Of course, there's also a narrative technique to this... insisting and emphasizing on one thing so as to either indicate/hide another thing. In this case, Jellic, this is more than a mere dream.
Mellicitia frowned. �Jellic, let me heal your memory.� She reached
for Jellic�s forehead, but he rudely pushed her hand away again.
�I�ve been through this before. We�re on our way to fight the mage
Kelve now, but when we get there, all of you will die and I�ll have to
chase his ��
The interesting thing? Jellic is struggling between two realities again... this time with the ghosts of his past. I had thought, at least a lesser degree, that this would be one of those types of situations reminiscent of the 'the world is against me-- what's real and what's not' type of stories where the hero is trying to be convinced by a world to succumb from his beliefs of something, yet he struggles to go agaisnt the flow, through will and determination. This is, though, not the case here... to my chagrin ^_^
�That�s odd,� said Jellic. �There�s no Pokemon inside. But why was
it in my belt? I didn�t have any Pokemon when we went to fight Kelve...�
He shrugged and retrieved the Pokeball.
Ahhh... foreshadowing... what's a pokeball doing there? My interest was quite piqued by this time... though this _is_ the only referrence this chapter has to Pokemon so far...
�I�ll weave thee a tale, Jellic, that might reveal the truth of what
lay inside thy memory and remind thee of thy mission,� she continued,
never taking her eyes off of Jellic as she juggled.
"And so as to give thy readers perchance to our glorious adventures together, without thoust narrator fumbling in words and needlessly wasting precious words inexplicably." Nell cheerfully added.
�Please do,� urged Mellicitia. �I�m sure that Jellic would benefit
>from hearing it.�
<snip great history thingee from Nell>
What can I say? This might as well be one of the best parts of this chapter. ^_^ This Nell character, I like, wtih her verbose words, her gestures of showmanship, her boisterous humor, her love of the arts (which had her meet her original end as she was sucked through the living paintings)... such characterization for a minor character in this short chapter has put in an added impact to how this fic is to be taken... such a colorful character dying is sad indeed, but it is testament as to how much liveliness she gave the fic as she would be missed.
�That�s not what happens,� said Jellic, mostly to himself. �We sneak
in, hoping to catch Kelve unawares and destroy the source of his power.
If we could manage to snuff out his magic before he stopped us, nothing
would have stood in our way...�
And then I had an impression of Jellic going back to his past to resolve his present crisis... a vague feeling at that but the author has prepared quite a surprising twist to everything in the end. Didn't even quite see it... darn ^_^
<snip Jellic the 'soothsayer'>
Must say... the fic had the reader and the characters, even Jellic who was supposed to know what's gonna happen next... anticipating what's gonna happen next. The motley crew (of which a certain bard is of my favorite ^_^) has come through the perilous journey, while Jellic is still figuring out what the hell is going on, what purpose he has with bringing the past back to change it all (he wasn't alone at the time... great job, Nidoking ^_^)
�Leave it to me,� said Jellic. �If I�m right about this being a
dream, I�ll just wake up if the trap kills me. And if not...�
Mellicitia placed her hand on his shoulder. �Your sacrifice will be
mourned.�
but then...
� Mellicitia�s screams filled his ears as he removed the orb from
the pedestal. He quickly turned to see that the hallway had burst into
flame and she was being roasted alive �
Ain't it always so ironic for him to not be killed always, even if it was he who keeps hanging his head out in the open for death to hack it with his scythe? Well, no ownder he doesn't look anything like nineteen...
"He had seen things not fit for a child to see, so his weary eyes go beyond years, yet it not the number of years that tell his age, but the number of suppressed tears he has never cried." Nell said, ending her song with a flourish by a strum of her harp.
�I am Elvor, son of Kelve,� said the mage.
Heck, you could have ended it here like a cliffhanger and have Jellic wake up, and we'd still have a story. ^_^ To tell you frankly, before this chapter, I had the impression of Elvor being just another omnipotent mindless destructive force that influnces all people to do bad so that he'll be unleashed and cause Armageddon to the all the universes. In other words, stock-character omnipotent villain thing. Well, this chapter actually gave him a bit of character and perspective... which is soooo sugoi! ^_^
�Amusing?� asked Nell sarcastically. �I�ll amuse thee, mage, with a
lilting tune.� She grabbed her harp and strummed the strings, then let
out a hideous screech, which startled Kelve into nearly dropping the
orb. An arrow flew from Caster�s bow into the mage�s exposed heart, and
the orb fell to the floor. Nell looked rather pleased with herself as
she finished. ��Tis a hateful sound to mortal ears, yet a creature of
evil finds the tortured screams of his victims the sweetest lullaby.�
I just dunno... normally this kinda elicits from me the impression of some english major who has a thing with one-liners (think Kuno), but from Nell, IMO, it sounds kinda cool. ^_^
death screams of his companions. �NO! Mellicitia! Nell! Grolf!� He
Oh, what about poor Castor-chan? ^_^
Oh, the part below is my favorite:
Even Elvor seemed struck by the sense of loss
momentarily. Then he smiled.
�So, you can�t change the past, can you?� he asked.
�What?� asked Jellic.
�It�s true. This is all a dream. Years ago, your last companion died
when you removed the orb from the pedestal, and you used the orb to
reflect the magic spell that I cast at you toward my father.� He
chuckled. �Even in your dreams, your friends can�t survive, can they?�
�Why are you telling me this?�
Elvor sneered. �Because I want you to remember this when you wake
up: I will always win, Jellic, and you will always lose. No matter how
well you think you�re doing, in the end, I will win.�
�Not so,� spat Jellic. �I killed you.�
�Evil cannot be killed, Jellic,� Elvor placed his hand on Jellic�s
forehead, and Jellic found himself unable to resist, as if he was bound
by ropes. The healing magic flowed through him, and Jellic felt the
world beginning to fade as his memory was healed. �We will meet again, I
promise you that. As many times as it takes, I will return from the
grave to defeat you. You can never defeat me...
Never defeat me...
Never...
Defeat...
The echoes spun in Jellic�s head as he collapsed to the floor of
Kelve�s castle, which was already beginning to fade like any other
dream...
What can I say? Elvor is a real badass, man! I'm glad that in this you haven't relegated any of Jellic's past friends into cardboard cutouts for characters... the most notble would be Nell. By means of a careful storyline told for good reason (and not just put out of the blue or gratuitously told in third person by the narrator... again, slick move there. ^_^) And the way Elvor came to manipulate Jellic in his own dreams is just a taste of how conniving he really is... he now has this aura of power that couldn't ever be established by the mastermind-behind-the-scenes/puppetmaster thing per se. This new perspective of Elvor gives him almost equal ground on Jellic. A very good chapter, a very good chapter indeed!
Oh... then there would be the little fact which Elvor introduced in Jellics mind... no matter how many times Jellic tries to defeat him, he will always come back... and all Jellic's victories would become Phyrric victories at best... victories costing him so much that the dun seem like victories no more. It's enough to make you think: "What about Ashley, and Arthur? Would his quest here end like the others? Tragically, a bitter ending where it his journeys and quests never end, and everyone he holds dear will always suffer because of him? That was why I was emphasizing the Arthur thing before... wouldn't there be a time that Jellic wondered what it would be like if he stopped being a hero? Just some little thoughts... looking forward for more cool chaps...
See ya,
C. Casta�eda
------------------------------------------------------------
MOM: I'm getting rid of this TV before the mindless garbage rots your
brain!
JOHNNY: Mindless garbage not rot brain!
(SHAMPOO: Mindless Johnny not got brain to rot!)
"There's a billion places like home. But only one of them's where you
live." - Granny Weatherwax, "Witches Abroad" by Terry Pratchett
JACKIE CHAN: Oh, sorry. I broke your spy camera! (pause) SPY CAMERA?!
My webpage: http://www.rose-hulman.edu/~katinamp
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